Secret Lives and Broken Promises
by letgolaughing
Summary: What if Regina had met James before Snow had? Set in FTL, Regina is unhappily married to the king and frequently rides to the village disguised as one of the people just to escape. She meets a poor shepherd and they agree to keep their names and the details of their lives to themselves and they begin to fall for each other.
1. Chapter 1

**Let me know what you think of this one! I've got lots planned for it, I just have to set it up in the beginning :) **

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She often snuck out of the palace, she was not happy there, never had been and likely never would. She would ride Rocinante to the village market to escape, she would dress herself down and leave her dark hair to fall over her shoulders in loose waves to blend in and act, for a little while, as though she was one of the people again.

It would work, she would forget that she was queen, she would forget that she was unhappy, she would find small joys in her time being one of the people. However, it would always pass, in the years that she had been living in the castle and sneaking out to escape she would always find herself sitting and watching them. Watching the people enjoy themselves, laughing, smiling, moving on with their lives while she was stuck.

She was stuck. Stuck in a miserable, lonely, loveless rut. The only thing that gave her any solace was that her mother was no longer there to hurt her any further than she already was. She found it infuriating how she was so alone and no one, not one, seemed to notice. Her father had of course but he could do nothing. Every time she had to put on that smile when Leopold or Snow was in her presence made her sick and she could feel it eating away at her.

"M'lady," he hadn't meant to startle her but he couldn't stop the smile that spread over his mouth as he bowed playfully. She had nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of his voice and now she looked at him with a sort of fear, as though she had been caught. It confused him, what could she be hiding from?

He came over because she was alone, alone and caught up in deep and unpleasant thoughts judging by the lines creasing her beautiful features, "may I ask why such a beautiful woman as yourself is wearing such a troubled expression?"

"I have many troubles," no one had ever approached her while she was down there, she was still unsure if the young man did in fact know she was queen or if he was just being overly polite.

"I would like to hear them," he straightened his posture and smiled down at the brunette sitting on the back of a wagon.

"No you wouldn't."

"But I would," it was as if no one had ever bothered to talk to her. It was strange to him, he imagined that she would be tired of people talking to her.

She looked up at him with doubt playing on her face, "why?" He was handsome, younger than her but older than Snow, each by a couple years. He was by no means wealthy but he stood with such pride and confidence, like she had when she was younger.

"Because you look like you need to talk," he didn't want to see such a beautiful woman in such discomfort. Beautiful women like herself should be smiling and enjoying themselves.

"Why should I tell you? I do not even know your name."

His smile only widened, "that is the beauty of it," the way she cocked her head in a question and her hair tumbled over her shoulder made his heart skip, "you can tell me anything you want because you don't fear my judgement. People do not fear what a person with no name will think of them. A person with no name can not cause nearly as much harm as a person with a name."

Regina laughed quietly through a weak smile and dropped her eyes to her hands, "do you want to know my name?"

He shook his head, happy that he got a small smile from her, "not yet," she seemed to like the idea of keeping their identities to themselves. His eyes followed hers down to her hands where she spun a small gold ring on a long chain around her neck. It seemed as though she wasn't entirely aware that she was spinning it, "may I see that?" Her hand instantly closed protectively around the object and she shot her eyes up to his defensively.

He smiled at her reassuringly, "I assure you I would never steal, let alone take something a woman such as yourself holds so close and dear to her heart."

She watches him carefully and for some unknown reason she trusts him and slowly reaches her hand forward, keeping the chain around her neck. Warily she allows him to step closer so he can reach her hand and he holds his open underneath hers. She puts her hand on his and opens it, keeping the ring from falling too far. Hesitantly she puts her hand back in her lap and keeps her eyes moving between his face and her ring.

It was simple and rather ordinary, certainly not real gold but the way she kept it so close and protected proved it to be precious to her and that made it special to him, "it's beautiful," he smiled and placed it gently back in her care.

"Thank you," it was almost a whisper and a sad one at that as she spun it between her fingers once more, her eyes never leaving the worn metal.

His eyes were fixated on her face, her expression was so unreadable, it was strange, "where ever did you get it?" Her face lit up with happiness only for a moment while the ring laid flat in her open palm but it was gone as quickly as it came and was replaced with sorrow.

"It is...was...my engagement ring," she looked up at the stranger, expecting him to run off but to her relief, he stayed. He was right, she did need to talk to someone, anyone.

"Was?"

"He died," her hand closed tighter around the warm metal as she closed her eyes and hung her head, "or killed rather...right in front of me."

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he was expecting but it certainly wasn't that, "wow," he was at a loss for words, "I don't know what to say."

"I didn't expect you would, dear. I'm just grateful you didn't say you were sorry. Everyone tells me they're sorry," her tone became bitter as she finished, sorry didn't fix anything, sorry didn't bring him back to her.

"Being sorry doesn't fix much," he guessed he was voicing her thoughts when she looked up at him with pain clearly shown in her eyes, "I take it you haven't found love again?"

She shook her head, "no I was forced in to a marriage only days after his death. He is a kind man but he doesn't love me," her voice trailed off as the emptiness inside her threatened to take over.

"I'm sure that's not true, I don't see how he couldn't," he tried hopelessly to comfort her. Her expression was painfully doubtful in response to his words.

"He loved his first wife. To him I am nothing but a new mother for his daughter, the very bane of my existence."

He could see that the very thought of the girl tasted awful on her tongue as her expression hardened and she rocked her head stiffly. It hurt him to see such a gentle woman hurt so badly, although he could tell that it was a relief for her to finally let some of it out. He stood patiently, waiting for her to continue, gladly lending her his ears.

She laughed humorlessly, "you know I never used to be this way. I used to be happy, I used to be hopeful and spirited. I was never free but I used to have the will to try to be. These years have been long and they have eaten away at me, I look in the mirror and I don't even _see_ myself anymore. Do you know what that's like?" She looked up at him almost hopeful that there was someone else who knew what she was going through but also hoping that he hadn't because no one should have to go through such pain, "to not recognize yourself?"

He shook his head, "no. I can't even imagine it."

"Don't try."

"I won't. It won't be very hard," he shrugged and she looked up at him in confusion, "it's not like I have many mirrors so," he trailed off and smirked gently as she started to laugh. It was quiet at first and she scrunched her face and shook her head in an amused question but it soon grew louder and more free. She had a wonderful and contagious laugh that he quickly found himself laughing along with.

She didn't know why she was laughing so much but she didn't care, it made her feel light again. It was like she had nothing to worry about and there was nothing pressuring or eating away at her anymore. "Thank you," she smiled and sighed happily through a quick bout of laughter, "I honestly can't even remember the last time I really laughed."

"Well I'm happy I could do the honours," it was like she was an entirely different person when she let herself smile. He wished it would stay and that her troubles would disappear.

"Now tell me about you! I still know absolutely nothing," she smiled and tucked her legs up beside her.

"I am but a simple shepherd. I live a hard and happy life with my mother and together we work to keep our farm together," she seemed enthralled in his life, he imagined she was wishing her life would be so simple.

"You like your mother?"

"Of course! I love my mother, she is all I have," he smiled warmly at her as she caught herself up in her thoughts. It was like she was imagining what it would be like to have a mother, "do you not have a mother?"

The corner of her mouth pulled into a weak smile for a moment but it was gone almost instantly, "that's complicated," she shook her head, "what else?!"

He shrugged it off, it was something she didn't want to tell him yet and that was fine, "while we are poor, I refuse to marry anyone unless it is for love. Her family could have all the riches in the world but I would not marry her unless I loved her," he could tell that he had hit a sore spot on her and he softened his features.

Regina smiled sadly, "I truly hope that you find that someone, I really do," she nodded and swallowed back her tears, "and when you find her, you keep her safe and you keep her close so that you do not lose your love as I have," she moved her eyes between his. She could see that he was sorry for bringing up marriage and love when he knew it was what had caused her pain but she knew he didn't mean to hurt her, "you are going to make a woman very happy some day," she reached forward and held his arm, giving it a light squeeze before letting it go.

He smiled back at her and then she jumped gracefully down from the wagon, "you're leaving?" He didn't want her to go, he wanted to talk with her more.

"Yes, I have to get back before I am missed," she flattened the skirt of her simple dress and was happy to see that he didn't want her to go, "I like you," she playfully poked his chest which brought a laugh out of both of them.

"Will I see you again?"

Regina smiled, "I should hope so," and she turned her back to him and started walking to where she had hidden Rocinante from any prying eyes who may recognize her as a palace horse. It was doubtful because she was not a purebred as the other horses were but she did not want to take any chances and have her true identity made known. When she looked over her shoulder the nameless man still stood where she had left him, smiling by the wagon. She returned his smile before she rounded the corner, disappearing from his line of sight.

...

Regina walked up the palace steps in to the courtyard adorning the lavish riding clothes that she had left in but changed from in the forest so as to stay unknown. She had pulled her hair back in to an intricate braid, practically identical to the one she was sporting when she left, no one knew she was leaving to spend time in the village square, they all believed she was just riding, all of them knew that it was something she loved.

"Did you have a good ride mother?"

Her voice was like glass slowly cutting in to her skin, "yes I did," she forced a sweet smile at the girl who fell in step beside her. She found that she wasn't nearly as irritated at her presence however. She believed it to be the work of the shepherd, it felt good to have someone just listen to her.

"You were gone much longer today," she didn't mean anything by it, she was just stating a fact, trying to talk to Regina. She had drifted away from her over the years and she didn't know why. She missed talking with her.

Regina shrugged and looked at Snow with another forced smile, "I suppose time just slipped away from me," Snow was taller now, Regina no longer had to tilt her head down to meet her eyes. She never held her gaze long though, she always looked away because the longer she looked at her the more she wanted to wring the girl's neck and that terrified her. It scared her that she had become so dark she fantasized about murder.

"So, where _do_ you go?"

"No where in particular," she kept her eyes ahead of her as she walked with large purposeful strides, "I just ride. Clears my head."

Snow smiled, she liked the idea, she knew something was troubling her step mother but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get a word out of her and she only seemed to drift further in to herself. It may not be so for others, but Snow could see the difference in Regina after this ride in comparison to previous ones, likely because she was looking for it. She was not as tense, not relaxed, no, but she didn't seem as though you had to tip toe around her in fear of an outburst, not that she had ever had one, "must have been a really good ride."

Regina wished she would just go away, "why do you say that?" She instantly kicked herself.

Snow smiled excitedly, she had answered with something other than a vague and practiced reply which was a form of progress in her mind, "well, you seem as though you have had a great deal taken off your shoulders. You look significantly better than when you left this afternoon."

"It seems I have," her smile this time was a little less forced, "did you need something?"

"Yes, well actually, maybe not, um-"

"Oh for God's sake, spit it out Snow!"

"Right! Can I ask you something?" She stopped walking and watched as Regina stopped a couple steps ahead of her with a long sigh and turned to face her, irritation written all over her face.

"You can ask but I won't guarantee an answer," she held her gloved hands together and let them hang in front of her. When she was in the presence of Leopold she was much more tolerant, he had not done anything to hurt her and she didn't want to disappoint the king. With Snow, however, she was much more irritable.

"Have I done something to hurt you?" Her features creased as she tried to recall a time that she may have done so but came up empty. It was the only answer she could come up with on why Regina had pushed her away and collapsed in to herself.

Regina nodded once and stated matter-of-factly, "yes," before turning and continuing walking.

Snow was taken aback by her reply, opening her mouth to respond but nothing came to mind and she shut it again as she cocked her head in confusion. Her mind reeled through the memories she had made with Regina, trying to find any one thing or even any group of small things that when piled together would cause her pain. Nothing. Picking up the skirt of her dress she ran to catch up, "Regina!" As she called her name she noted how the woman's fingers flexed in irritation before she turned to face her with a sweet smile.

"Yes, daughter?"

"What ever I did, Regina, I'm sorry. I never intended to cause you pain," a shiver ran down her spine at the sudden cold emptiness in her step mother's voice and smile.

"Of course not, dear. But I am afraid _sorry_ just isn't going to cut it," it was almost as though she had left her body and it was speaking on its own, slowly she felt herself come back and she shook her head quickly and blinked repetitively to pull her thoughts together. She furrowed her brow and frowned slightly, it was getting worse, she needed to work at keeping her mouth under her control. She shook her head again and cleared her throat, brow still creased and eyes focused on something next to Snow's feet, "I think I am going to go lay down," she pointed over her shoulder without moving her gaze and began walking backwards, pivoting after a few steps to walk forward.

The look on Regina's face was haunting and tore anything and everything but fear from her. It was a side she had never seen of her before and she didn't want to ever see it again. It only lasted the seconds it took for her to finish her sentence and then slowly she could see the life return to her eyes, it was unsettling. She remained stuck to the stone floor listening to her hurried footsteps and watching her back as she shook her head, she assumed it was to shake off what ever had possessed her only moments ago.

When she had first begun to live in the palace and Snow was just a young girl, she had tried to look past it, tried to bond with the girl but as the days grew to weeks and then months and then years, her bright young spirit was trampled repeatedly by hatred, loneliness, and pain. As Snow grew older and neared the age she had been when she had broken her promise, she couldn't stop the bitterness growing inside her. Soon Snow would find a love and she would become happier than ever, just as she had been only Snow would not have her love ripped so cruelly from her. No, she would live happily ever after with a dashing young prince, she would have a family, she would be happy, she would be loved.

Regina felt like screaming and throwing anything and everything within reach, Snow would have the life she herself could have had but now had resigned herself to believing she could never have and was instead destined for a lonely and empty life. Tears burned behind her eyes as she opened the doors to her bed chamber and quickly closed them behind her, sinking to the cold floor. She hugged her knees tightly and buried her face into her thighs as her shoulders shook from her quiet sobs.

She didn't want this life, she had never wanted this life, she knew this life would cause her nothing but misery. She found her mind wandering back to the simple nameless shepherd with the strong and kind blue eyes. She wished he was there with her, to have someone to talk to that would listen without judgement, someone to hold her to ease the pain.


	2. Chapter 2

**A lot of feelings being thrown around in this chapter. I'd love to know what you think of it! Enjoy :) **

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Regina paused at a mirror on her way down one of the many large hallways in the castle. She had lost count how many times she had stopped to look at herself on her way down to the stables. She eyed over her reflection critically, smoothing over the silver buttons holding closed the front of her tightly fitted royal blue riding coat. It fell nearly to the floor and was left open at the front from the waist down to reveal black pants hugging her well toned legs and a pair of freshly polished black riding boots. The first button on the coat hit mid chest revealing the simple white swoop necked top she wore underneath with small white jewels encrusted along the neckline.

It was ridiculous really, the care she had taken in getting ready, it wasn't like the shepherd was going to ever see these clothes. With that in mind she moved her hands to fuss over her hair. She had pinned a few of the front strands up to the sides and left the rest to fall behind her in long shiny and thick dark curls. She hadn't had the chance to get out of the palace since their first meeting three days earlier, she desperately hoped he would be there that afternoon.

She shook her head at herself in the mirror and continued down the hallway, pulling on her black leather gloves as she walked. She had noticed that since the incident with Snow the same three days ago, the girl had taken it upon herself to avoid her. She was relieved really, but as the days went on she started to feel the guilt rise in her. While she wasn't truly her mother, Regina didn't want to have Snow fearing her as she had feared her own mother. That wasn't right, a daughter shouldn't fear her mother.

As though on cue, Regina turned the corner and lifted her eyes from her hands to find Snow walking toward her, unaware of her presence. She continued cautiously so as not to startle the girl who was clearly lost in thought with her eyes on the floor, "Snow," it hurt her to see the fear fly through her eyes when her head snapped up.

"Mother," she nodded stiffly and moved to go around Regina but she stepped with her, cutting her off and raising her hands for her to stop. She eyed her over nervously and was relieved to see that her eyes were not frighteningly empty and hard but were soft and warm as she had remembered them when she was little.

Regina's brow creased in a sad apology at the tightness in Snow's body, "Snow I am sorry for how I was last time we spoke. I don't know what came over me, I wasn't myself, I need you to know that," Snow's eyes were fixated on hers, likely watching for them to run cold like they had before. She shook her head gently, "I know I scared you, I scared myself, I did not mean to, that was never my intention."

She smiled weakly when Snow nodded slowly in response, she wished she would say something but she remained silent. Regina started opening her arms but paused for a moment before fully opening them and stepping forward to hold Snow. As her arms closed around her, Snow relaxed fully in to her and wrapped her arms around her and they gradually tightened around her waist.

Snow rested her head against Regina's and sighed as she closed her eyes, soaking up the warmth Regina provided, "I miss you," she whispered in to her hair and tightened her hold on her. She could feel the tears burning behind her eyes, she wanted nothing more than to have her back.

The sadness in her voice caught her off guard and a painful pang shot through her heart, "I'm trying, dear," she nodded slowly against Snow, "I really am trying. To find my place in this life has been harder than I had thought," she let go of Snow and let her arms slid down from her as she pulled away.

"Are you not happy here?"

Regina cocked her head sadly, she didn't know what to say. She wasn't happy there but she couldn't just say it flat out like that. Slowly she brought her hands up to hold Snow's face and wiped away the tears that had started to fall, "I was not built for this life, dear," she shook her head as her face creased in a sad smile, "it's like dropping a rock from a building and demanding it to fly. It's not going to happen, not unless you take the time to give it wings."

She leaned in to the touch of her step mother and looked out the window trying to imagine what that would feel like. It made sense, Regina was never one for luxury, she would rather spend all her time in the stables than put on a gown and dance at a ball. She imagined it would be difficult for her to adjust even after all these years, "is that why you ride so much? To get out of here and forget?" When she brought her eyes down to meet Regina's once again she could see she had hit the nail right on the head.

Regina remained silent and Snow shook her head and Regina's hands fell down to rest over her blue coat, "it's alright, I mean, I know you never wanted to be here, I know you wanted to marry Daniel," she watched curiously as Regina's eyes quite suddenly glossed over with fresh tears and she averted her gaze down and to the side. "Mother?" she reached her hands forward but didn't know exactly what to do with them.

The concern was evident in her voice and it only made it hurt more, the girl had no idea what she had done to her. She had kept the pain that she had caused her to herself, "I'm fine, dear," her voice was shaky and she tried to steady it with a tense breath, "I better get going before I run out of time," she forced a smile and nodded quickly. She swallowed down the bitterness and the sadness that only grew when she looked over Snows face.

It was easily read, filled with concern and confusion over why she had suddenly become so pained. The girl was going to have everything she could ever want. Regina willed her smile to stay for a few moments longer as she stepped forward and gave Snow's arm a reassuring squeeze before continuing on her way.

Snow was starting to realize that Regina was more troubled than she had let anyone see. She didn't know what she had done to her but whatever it was, combined with being thrown in to the position of queen, had caused her great distress. Snow spun around quickly to catch Regina before she made it too far, "maybe I can come with you sometime?" Regina had paused and turned slightly to look at her questioningly, "riding, I mean?"

Regina smiled softly, "maybe," she nodded and turned back around to continue to the stable but turned back after a few steps and walked backwards, "provided I don't have to save you again, that's how this whole thing started, I'd hate to see what would happen if I had to do it again," despite how difficult it was, she let it be known to Snow that she was teasing and Snow seemed to catch it and she ducked her head down letting a quiet laugh slip past her lips.

...

Regina ran the comb through her mare's long tail, removing any stray pieces of straw from the coarse hair and untangling any knots. She took her time and let a smile pull at her lips as she remember the face of the simple shepherd.

"Regina, I thought I would find you down here."

While his voice was soft and gentle it still gave her a start and she turned to face him, "hello my king," she nodded and pulled the comb through her horse's tail seamlessly.

"Why do you still not have the stable hands ready your horse for you?" He walked forward and placed a hand on the back of the chestnut mare.

Regina watched his hand carefully as he placed it on Rocinante, she was her horse, her and her tree were the only remnants of her old life and while she doubted he would bring any harm to her she was still protective. When he only ran his hand gently over her fur she shrugged, "I like to do it myself, I enjoy it," she moved around her horse and dropped the comb into a box and lifted her saddle with ease, "besides," she waited patiently for him to remove his hand before she stepped forward and place the saddle softly on Rocinante's back, "when I do it myself I know it's done right," she smiled at him before straightening the saddle.

"Fair enough," he smiled back at her and then walked toward the horse's face, fully aware of how Regina watched his every movement. It did not bother him in the least, he knew she cared deeply for this horse and did not want to see her harmed in any way. He ran his hand over the white marking her brown face and smiled, he had offered Regina the finest of horses and while she appreciated the offers she had always chosen her simple mare over any of the others.

He never really understood why she had loved the mare so dearly but he had never questioned and never pushed her to get rid of her. A small laugh was pulled out of him as he lowered his hand to the horse's mouth and she moved her lips over his fingers in search of food. There was no denying that this mare was one of the sweetest and most well mannered in their stable. He looked to Regina who was laughing under her breath as she tightened the girth and watched Rocinante play with his fingers, "you and Snow seem to be in better spirits today," he stroked the horse between her eyes before walking to stand next to Regina.

"Yes, seems we've reached more of an understanding," she smoothed the blanket under the saddle and fiddled with the breast plate over Rocinante's chest. She didn't know exactly how to act around Leopold, she didn't know if she should treat him as a kind or as her husband so their interactions tended to be somewhat awkward.

"That is good to hear," he stood beside her, he wished he could love her the way she deserved to be loved. He had tried and every so often he would try again but he couldn't find it in him to love her as his wife. He noticed her fidgeting and looked behind him to find the bridle to hand to her.

She was relaxed, she just didn't know what to do so when she turned around to find him handing her her bridle she took it with a grateful smile, "thank you," she nodded and put it on Rocinante's head.

Leopold walked up behind her, "you look well, seems your seamstress is doing her job well," he did care for her, he just didn't love her. She was beautiful and kind and he appreciated her and would do anything to keep her safe but he just didn't love her and for that he was sorry.

Regina looked over her shoulder, not quite sure what the underlying meaning of his words was, if there was any at all, "thank you," she looked him over quickly and smiled, "you don't look so bad yourself," she hummed a laugh and turned her focus back to the small buckles on the bridle, doing them up carefully. When she finished she turned around to be polite and say her goodbyes she found him watching her.

She had seen that look on his face before, it was apologetic, apologizing for not being able to make her happy. She had learned that when he looked at her in such a way he often wanted to try again to see if perhaps something had changed. She stepped forward cautiously and placed a hand lightly on his chest and he closed the distance between them, bringing his hand through her hair to the nape of her neck.

He kissed her with more force this time, still gentle, but it was as if he was hoping that he could muster up something more than affection toward her if he kissed her harder. Just like the other kisses they had shared, there was nothing to feel, not even an increase in heart rate. When he pulled away from her she opened her eyes she found what she expected to find but it didn't stop the sadness from tightening her chest and cracking her voice even though it was a whisper, "it's okay," she nodded and patted his chest softly. She didn't expect him to love her but it didn't mean she didn't wish he had, no one loved her, "you want to give me a hand?" She backed up from his hold, his hands that had moved to her waist reluctantly let her go.

Leopold sighed hearing the hurt in her voice, he hadn't meant to cause her pain. With every kiss he saw the same pain only with every one he saw it increase, pushing her closer to tears, "of course," he followed her out of the stable. He knew she was quite capable of mounting her horse herself but he appreciated how she offered to let him help her. She waited for him at her horse's side with the reins in her hands and a soft smile on her face, "ready?" she nodded and lifted her left leg and he took it in his hands and boosted her up as she jumped, "there you are," he ran his hand over leg as she gathered her reins, "enjoy your ride."

"Thank you," she slid the reins through her fingers, "and please, don't think too much on that," she shook her head, "it's not your fault," she offered him a smile and asked her mare forward in to a relaxed canter. Once out of the palace gates she let the tears blur her vision and gave her full trust to Rocinante, letting her run through the forest down the path they had made themselves.

...

She was confused when a bright yellow daisy blocked her view of the village square. She followed the stem to the hand that held it and up their arm, a smile pulling at her lips when she recognized the face looking down at her, "why thank you," she plucked the flower from his fingers and brought it to her nose.

The corners of her eye creased as she smiled over the flower, she was truly beautiful, "you're very welcome," he smiled and she laughed quietly as she spun the flower between her fingers, "you look much better today."

"Yes, well I feel much better," she lifted her chin to reach his eyes, "thanks to you. I guess I didn't know how much I needed someone to talk to."

"Everyone needs someone to talk to," he folded his arms over his chest, "I think people forget that too often."

Regina hummed in agreement, "what do you want to do? I have a little more time today, I'm just glad you're here, I wasn't sure I'd find you."

"Likewise, I mean I didn't see you the past few days and I wondered if I was ever going to see you again."

She smiled playfully and spun the flower in her fingers as she leaned forward, "you miss me?" She chuckled softly but was cut off by his definite answer.

"Yes," he was almost confused as to how taken aback she was by his answer, "what? No one ever miss you before?"

"No, no not really," she smiled weakly, "why are you so shocked?"

"Because I can not imagine why no one would miss you," he thought it was a simple answer, apparently not. He smiled and let his eyes wander over her, "have you ever chased sheep?"

She creased her brow in amusement and cocked her head, "uh no, no I can't say that I have."

...

"Oh get it! Get it get it!" He pointed and ran around the sheep, laughing as the nameless woman stopped quickly and moved from side to side with her arms out, preventing the sheep from moving past her. Her long hair swung with every step and her dress swayed with every sharp motion as she laughed and chased the sheep in to the corral with him.

She felt free. She would run along side the shepherd, chasing his sheep and laughing with every passing second and laughing harder every time one of them stumbled when suddenly changing direction with the sheep in question. They had made it in to a game and she was far from winning but she didn't care, in her mind she had already won, she was having fun which was something she hadn't had in much too long.

"Oh no! No! My sheep!" She laughed loudly and pointed to it as it ran off after she had fallen to the ground, "I was so close!" She laid down in the grass, laughing as she tried to catch her breath.

He walked over to her and chuckled, "you're getting better," he shrugged his shoulders and laughed at the eye roll she gave him. Her hair was spread out under her head and the layers of white and light blue fabric of the skirt of her dress were fanned out and the fabric over her chest and stomach tightened with every breath she took. She really was quite a beautiful sight.

Regina laughed, "no I'm not, you're just saying that to be nice," her eyes were closed to keep the sun out of them but she knew he was standing right above her.

"Come on," he stretched his arms forward and she opened one beautifully dark eye before she laughed and sat up to take his hands in hers. He pulled her up but over estimated how hard to pull and she tumbled in to him with a thud and a laugh. He held he waist as she laughed in to his chest, the warmth flooding through his body originating from his stomach was hard to ignore.

She lifted her head, still laughing and her hands laying flat on his chest as their bodies pressed together. His hands felt nice around her waist, they were large and strong, she felt safe. She didn't even know this man's name and yet she trusted him fully. Her laughter subsided slowly as she felt the old and familiar flame burn inside her, warming her body and lifting her heart. Her eyes met his and she was almost certain he had felt something too, "come on, let's go catch that sheep," she smiled at him and flicked her eyes to his mouth just to make sure she didn't want to change her mind before she backed out of his arms and ran toward where the sheep had gone.

He let out a shaky breath, instantly missing the feel of her in his hold, he had never felt that before and he wanted to feel it again. He watched as she stopped running and turned to face him with a wide grin. He didn't even know her name and he had completely fallen for her.

"Are you coming? You know very well that I'm not going to be able to catch it by myself!" She laughed lowly and opened her arms wide only to let them fall back to her sides. She grinned when he shook his head through a laugh and ran toward her and she started running after the sheep again.

As she neared the sheep she stopped running and bent at the waist and knee as she started to creep up to it with her arms outstretched, "come here little sheep," her voice was coated with sweetness, "come here you stupid sheep," when she got just over an arms length away from it, every step she took resulted in the sheep taking one as well. She was growing irritated but she kept her voice sugary sweet, "you are going to make a very nice bundle of wool for us aren't you," another step from both of them, "I am going to have you sheered," yet another step, her voice growing thick with smooth sweetness "and then I'm going to eat you, you thorn in my side!" She gave the sheep a deadly smile before standing tall and turning to her nameless friend who was trying very hard not to laugh.

The look of pure irritation on her face sent him over and he couldn't hold in his laughter any longer, "I'm sorry," he shook his head as his shoulders shook with laughter, "sweet talking the sheep is not going to make it go up to the house."

"I can see that!" She laughed and lifted her hands and let them fall causing the sheep to spook and run further away, "are you serious?!" exasperated she pointed at the fleeing sheep and looked back at the laughing shepherd, "your sheep don't like me."

He pushed his head back in a laugh before looking back at her, trying to hide the amusement in her features and replace it with irritation, "sheep don't like anyone," he chuckled as he shook his head and walked up next to her, "come on, follow me, we'll get it in there together," he held his hand over her arm and his smile grew wider as hers did and she didn't hesitate to go with him.

They circled around the last sheep and pushed it up toward the small house. The two of them laughing and shouting out to each other the entire time they herded the single sheep up to the others. Stumbling and panting, they managed to get the sheep in to the pen without letting any out in the process, something she had done in the beginning by mistake.

If there had been anyone else around to watch them they would have been in for quite a show. The two of them running around carefree and laughing, stumbling over their own feet as they chased the sheep. The pair were more caught up in one another than the sheep they were chasing which resulted in them losing it several times and running aimlessly around each other simply just to laugh.

"There, all of them safe and sound," he put his hands on his hips and looked over the sheep before turning his attention to the nameless brunette, "job well done."

Regina let out a small laugh through heavy breaths, "yes because I did so much," she grinned and pushed her chin forward, bending slightly at the waist in a self mocking position. The laugh rising in her throat was hushed when she caught glimpse of the sun, "is it really that late?"

He turned his head up slightly, "I guess it is, time flies when you're having fun," he smiled down at her, heart skipping as she smiled back at him. Her deep chuckle was cut off when she raised her thumb and finger to her mouth and whistled loudly, startling him and causing him to cover his ears, "what was that?!"

"A whistle."

He scoffed with a grin, "thanks. Why?"

She shrugged simply, her eyes focused on the tree line, "I don't have time to go and get her, she may as well come to me and then we'll have a better chance of making it back on time," she raised her fingers once more, another loud whistle cutting through the air.

"Who is 'she'?"

Regina ignored him and smiled at the faint sound of hoof beats, "I really must be going. Besides, if I'm not mistaken, that must be your mother," she pointed over his shoulder at the older woman walking toward them from the path they had come in on.

"Yes, would you like to meet her?"

Regina contemplated it for a moment but then shook her head, "yes, but I don't have time right now," she began walking backwards, away from him and toward the faint sound of her horse, "perhaps another time?"

He watched her leave, confused as to what she was whistling for, "yes of course. I will see you around?" He smiled brightly as she looked over her shoulder giving him a look of 'are you really asking me that' before she straightened her neck and ran down the hill with her dress and hair flying behind her.

"Who was that?"

He looked down at his mother and laughed quietly, "I don't know."

"The two of you look a little too friendly for 'I don't know'," she laughed and pushed him playfully, "who is she?"

"I don't know her name."

"Well why not?!"

He grinned and looked down at her again, "we haven't told each other our names, mother," he wrapped and arm around her and squeezed her affectionately.

Ruth only laughed, "oh you and your games, how are you supposed to get anything accomplished when you play these games," it was a rhetorical question and she followed his gaze down the hill to where the woman stood still, "what is she doing?"

"I have no idea."

"Well look at you with all the answers," she jabbed his side with her finger, bringing a laugh out of him.

He smiled when a horse ran out of the trees and trotted up to the nameless woman and she rewarded it lovingly, "she has a horse."

Ruth shook her head in amusement and stepped out of his arm, "you are going to have to get to know more about this woman if you keep looking at her like that," she wasn't sure if he had heard her. His focus was entirely on the woman down the hill, she shook her head and waved her hand at him as she made her way in to the house with her basket.

He could hear the faint laughter coming from her as she gracefully mounted the horse and galloped away, waving her hand in goodbye before she disappeared in to the trees where the horse had come from. His shoulders shook with a quiet laughter, he had a lot of questions for her in their next encounter. More importantly, he had to find another way to get her in his arms again in their next encounter.


	3. Chapter 3

**I am really quite excited and happy with how you guys are enjoying this story! I've got lots planned for it :) reviews are really appreciated, I love hearing what you all think!**

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"I like this," she smiled as she stepped carefully with her arms outstretched to either side of her, his hand holding hers offering balance.

"Like what?"

"Not knowing your name, it's like a game," she watched her feet, carefully placing them one in front of the other on the moss covered log.

He smiled, holding her hand gently in his. She didn't need it, her balance was superb, but it was just another excuse to touch her. Every time he did his body tingled with warmth and excitement shivered through his body, "I've been trying to guess your name," the corners of his mouth pulled up in to a smile, almost embarrassed.

"Oh yeah?" She chuckled softly and bent toward him, "figure it out?"

"No," he admitted with a smile, "no I can't come up with anything that suits you," he looked up at her to find a wide grin on her face. Even in such simple clothes she was beautiful to him, he wished she wasn't married. If she wasn't married he would have taken her for himself long ago. It had been weeks since they first met and he knew quite well that he was falling in love with her if he hadn't fallen completely already.

She stopped at the end of the log and turned to him, putting her hands on his shoulders and letting him put his hands on her waist to steady her as she jumped down, "you want me to tell you my name," she slid her hands down to his chest, heart skipping when he kept her so close.

"Not yet," his voice was almost a whisper when he forced it out, stunned by her flawless features. She was relaxed in his arms, looking directly at him in a way that stopped his heart and made it hard to breath. He wanted to kiss her, he wanted to kiss her with every fibre in his body but she was already taken. Unhappy as her marriage may be, she was taken.

Her breath caught in her throat when he looked at her with such desire in his blue eyes. It wasn't the first time she had wondered what it would be like to kiss him, nor would it be the last, "you know," she smiled and backed slowly out of his hands, "one of these days you're going to run out of excuses to hold me close and you're going to just have to do it without one," she flashed him a wide smile, white teeth grinning knowingly before she turned around to walk forward.

He bowed his head and laughed under his breath, embarrassed that she had caught him. Slowly her words registered further and he lifted his head, did she want him to hold her? Curious, he walked forward, quickly until he was right next to her where he matched her pace with ease, "how are things with your step daughter?"

Regina shrugged simply, "better. I mean, I haven't forgiven her, I don't think I ever will but um," she drifted off in to thought for a moment before she nodded, keeping her eyes on the forest floor, "it's getting better, I can look at her now without wanting to have her killed so I guess that's an improvement," she smiled up at him to find him smiling back. He had often asked how she was getting along with her, she had never told him her name or what she had done and he never asked. He listened and helped her cope, he had found that the girl was one of the main sources of her troubles on his own and he apparently wanted to try and fix her.

A laugh rose out of him from deep in his throat, "yes I'd say that that's quite the improvement," his brow creased in amusement as he looked down at her, a smile lighting up her face, "and what of your husband?" At the mention of her husband her smile faded and saddened.

"There is no change there," her voice trailed off, not particularly wanting to dwell on the subject of her marriage. They walked a few steps in comfortable silence before she started to laugh, "I think I may have come up with another excuse for you to hold me close," she lifted her chin mockingly, "if you're up for it that is."

"Always," he laughed as she bumped in to him and gave out one of her piercing whistles.

...

"Do you not know how to ride?"

He shook his head as he laughed, still impressed how she had effortlessly vaulted on to her horse bareback, "of course I know how to ride, I've just never ridden like this before," he waited with a wide grin as the small woman positioned her horse next to a fallen tree so he could get on with ease.

"Well then you had better hold on tight, dear," she cocked her head playfully, unable to wipe the childish grin from her face. She gathered the reins in her hands as he walked around Rocinante and her discarded saddle to the log beside her. She watched with amusement as he paused, contemplating the easiest and least clumsy way to get on, "here," she laughed and offered him her hand.

He looked at it, a little doubtful that she'd be able to help him up without being pulled off herself. Giving in, he raised his eyebrows and sighed as if to say 'here goes nothing' and then took her hand and was impressed how easily she had helped pull him up, not moving an inch from her perch.

"Ready?" She turned her head slightly to look over her shoulder and her heart started racing when his warm breath skimmed her jaw and his hands snaked around her waist as his chest pressed against her back. She knew his movements were more than just simply bracing himself. They were too slow for that, it was as though he was trying to memorize her. She found herself melting in to him, closing her eyes as he pressed the side of his head against hers.

He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent and going against every nerve in his body demanding that he kiss her, "ready," he whispered and ran his hands slowly up and down her ribs, chest tightening as she hummed softly through her breath and lifted her head and gathered her reins once again.

"Where do you want to go?" She felt the need to stall so she could clear her head from the want she felt for him before she fell off.

"Do I have a choice?"

Regina smirked gently, "no, no not really," she pushed Rocinante in to a walk and turned her around to where they had come in. She laughed to herself how his hands tightened around her waist at the movement, "relax you're fine," and with that she asked her mare in to a steady canter. She laughed loudly as a low and nervous yelp escaped him at the change in pace and his arms tightened even more.

She leaned back against him, offering some sort of movement to copy and he relaxed instantly, moving with her and her horse with a sudden ease as though he'd been doing it for years. He became more confident with every stride he didn't fall or slip and he was soon laughing freely with her. Her horse carried them with great strength over the uneven forest floor and the trees flew past them, it was no wonder she found this so exhilarating. As they broke out of the trees and in to the fields he leaned closer to the brunette's ear, "does this thing not go any faster?"

Regina let out a deep throaty laugh and asked for a faster speed, Rocinante immediately responding and opening in to a full out gallop. She had never felt anything like it before, Rocinante's hooves thundering beneath her, a man who cared for her holding her and laughing with her as he enjoyed the power and speed of her horse beneath them, it made her feel light, it made her feel...happy.

Ruth was brought out of her gardening at the sound of laughter and hoof beats. She stepped away from the garden and closer to the edge of the small hill until she saw what was causing the heart lifting noise. Her son sitting behind a woman, both laughing as a chestnut horse galloped through the field scattering the sheep.

It had been too long since she had heard her son laugh like that so she stood and watched them and listened to the increase in laughter whenever the woman had the horse take a sharp turn causing her son to slip and nearly tumble off. She began to laugh with them, the pair entirely enthralled in each other. She wondered if they knew they had fallen for each other.

She watched them with a warm smile as the brunette steered the galloping horse toward the house, the two of them laughing and smiling so wide their cheeks must have been hurting. Her son's hands were holding the woman's waist and her head was turned down and to the side as he whispered something in her ear as they neared the house. What ever he had said had made the woman laugh as she tilted her head up to look at him.

"Mother!" He slipped off the side of the horse when she came to a halt.

"Hello my dear," she opened her arms wide and pulled him in to a hug and kissing his cheek, "and you," she turned her attention to the young woman standing next to the horse, "you must be the woman keeping my son from his chores."

Regina was unsure of how to approach her, her mother had never shown much kindness and she was unsure if this woman was about to scorn her or if she was just being playful. So she stood still, a nervous smile on her face.

"My dear," Ruth walked up to her, confused at how tense the woman was when she held her arms, "I am not upset, how could I be upset with the nameless beauty who makes my son so happy?"

The older woman's warmth was entirely foreign to Regina but she felt the tension release itself from her body and was replaced with a shaky but relieved laugh as she ducked her head down.

Ruth smiled at her and rubbed her hands over her arms, "you are a tortured one aren't you."

Regina nodded slowly and met the older woman's eyes, "yes well I..." She didn't know what to say, she was waiting for the cold glare, the sharp words, a raised hand across her fair skin. Instead she was pulled in to a hug, her eyes widened in shock and looked to the blue eyed shepherd who stood with his arms folded over his chest and a peaceful smile. Hesitantly, she laid her arms around the older woman and cautiously allowed herself to relax.

Ruth pulled away slowly and shook her head as she smiled and held her hands in hers, "I know you and my son are playing this little name game so I won't ask you for yours but you may call me Ruth."

"Ruth," she nodded and smiled, she was enjoying this new form of a mother.

Ruth smiled at her and took a step back to look over the girl, hands still in hers, "well look at you!" She twirled the young girl around her finger, "aren't you just a pretty little thing," the girl's laughter was infectious and she could hear her son laughing softly behind her as she laughed too, "will you be staying for dinner? I can set another place for you."

"Oh, no, thank you, thank you very much but I really must be going," she shook her head shyly.

"Of course, perhaps another time? I would love to get to know the woman who has stolen my son's heart," she squeezed her hand affectionately, smiling at how the girl's eyes widened and shot to her son.

"Mother!"

"What?!"

"No it's fine," Regina shook her head, "really, I mean it's uh...it's nice to know someone truly cares for me," she caught his eyes and held them. It was a wonder to her how he had managed not to put any walls up like she had, she could see right in to him and feel the warmth and care he shot her way. Breaking the eye contact, she shook her head and cleared her throat, "wow, um," she laughed nervously and looked down before meeting Ruth's eyes, "I have to get going, I'll see you again?"

"Yes dear, you are welcome here any time," she ran her thumbs over the backs of her hands, the concern for her clear in her expression.

"Great," Regina squeezed Ruth's hands as she backed up toward her mare. The concern on her face hit her hard, she had only just met this woman and yet she was showing more care for her than her own mother ever had. She found herself laughing happily to herself and she vaulted on to Rocinante's back, "I really would love to stay for dinner sometime."

"Well then I suppose you'd better come back," she raised her eyebrows and put her hands on her hips. Her playfully stern face was replaced with a smile as the girl gathered her reins with the brightest of smiles.

"I suppose I better," she nodded to the both of them in goodbye and let her eyes linger on the blue eyed shepherd. For one brief moment she let her walls come crashing down and she savored the kindness reflected in his eyes reserved only for her. Then just like that she set them back up and gently pulled her horse around.

"Did she not know?" Ruth turned to her son after the girl had ridden out of earshot.

He shrugged, "I don't know. She's married."

Ruth's features softened with sadness, "oh, dear I'm sorry," she shook her head, "you two are so happy together," she cocked her head sadly as she walked toward him, "I can see that you love her and I'm quite certain that she loves you too, she just isn't sure how to show it," she held her son's face between her hands, "love will always find a way. I hope you believe that."

He could only manage a small smile as he put his hands over his mother's, "I certainly hope that that is true."

...

Regina had walked right past her, entirely unaware that she was there. Snow watched her with a smile because of the smile she was sporting as she laughed under her breath. Her smile widened and became crooked with curiosity, "what has got you in such high spirits?"

She was startled by the voice but relaxed instantly when she saw who it belonged to, "I had a very good ride," it wasn't a lie, she did have a good ride, with the shepherd holding her close. She could still feel the warmth and steadiness his large hands had provided around her waist. Regina didn't want to tell Snow, she didn't know if she could trust the girl with any further secrets.

"You've been having a lot of good rides lately," she was sure Regina had heard the underlying question when she stopped and turned slowly on her heels.

"Yes," she drew the word out longer than necessary, silently demanding that if she wanted answers she was going to have to ask flat out and that she had better tread very lightly.

"Why is that?"

"I don't think I can trust you with my secrets, dear," she shook her head sharply, "you haven't exactly had a great track record."

Snow cocked her head and gently squinted her eyes, "well why does it have to be a secret?"

"Because I don't particularly trust anyone but myself with things I hold dear to me," she shifted her weight so both feet held her evenly as she held her wrist in one hand and let her arms hang limp in front of her, her face carefully schooled do give nothing away but self preservation.

"You don't trust me?"

"I don't know if I can."

"Well of course you can," she stepped forward so she stood well within arms length of her step mother. She raised her chin and looked down at her, inspecting her with great doubt which stung, "Regina, I am your daughter, you are my mother, you can trust me with anything," the cold doubt was still blatantly present over her face as she looked down at her, head held high, "I think I should know what has finally begun to make you happy."

Regina sighed tightly, scanning her eyes over the hopeful expression on Snow's face. She contemplated it, if she were to confide in her and she were to keep her secret it would likely strengthen her relationship with her but if she were to tell and her shepherd were to be hurt? She wasn't entirely she'd be able to recover herself let alone salvage her relationship with Snow. If she refused to tell her, she would question her until she got an answer and there was no guarantee that she would not go to her father or anyone else to try and get answers and she had a feeling that that would not fare well.

"If I tell you, you must promise me you will not tell a single soul."

There was a threat beneath her tone but Snow smiled, giddy at the chance to earn her trust, "I promise."

Regina looked her up and down once more before lowering her chin, "I've met someone."

Snow cocked her head and her brow furrowed, "met someone? As in...?"

"No," Regina answered quickly and shook her head, "no not like that, no. We have become good friends, he's been helping me find myself again."

"Well that's great! Why would you want to keep that a secret?"

"Your father, my husband, he is a kind man and he is trying, I know that. I do not wish to spread rumors that I have...run off with another man," she noticed her hands were fidgeting and she quickly stopped them and gripped them tightly, grateful for the gloves to hide her knuckles that were likely turning white.

"Would you?"

"Of course not," that was a lie, if given the chance she would gladly run away with her nameless shepherd, she would run with not so much as a second thought. She shook her head, her ability to lie had grown strong over the years, "I am loyal to you and your father, the thought never crossed my mind."

Snow stepped closer, taking Regina's hands in her own, "that is wonderful, mother. That you have found a friend in this life," she squeezed her hands and smiled at her, "I am happy for you," she could see the start of a smile pull at the corner of her mouth but it was weak and didn't last, "will you tell me about him?"

Regina was almost annoyed at how excited she sounded. The shepherd was hers, the one thing that was strictly hers, she didn't want to share him especially with Snow of all people. She shook her head and forced a smile, "I'm afraid I don't know much about him."

"But you said you were good friends?"

"Yes."

"Mother," she laughed quietly, "mother that doesn't make any sense."

Regina smiled, a real one this time, "it makes perfect sense, dear."


	4. Chapter 4

**I know, this chapter is really short and I took forever to post it I'm sorry! I guess you could call it a spacer chapter or something lol. Originally it was longer but it didn't quite fit right so I'll post the other part of it as another chapter really soon :) enjoy!**

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Regina had kept a watchful eye on Snow, waiting for her to break her promise. She hadn't. It had been nearly a week since she had trusted her with her secret and the girl had kept her word, she didn't tell a soul. She was starting to believe that perhaps she was capable of keeping her secret, nearly a week was quite the improvement from less than twenty four hours.

As if on cue, Snow skipped up beside her with a bright smile on her face. Regina still preferred to be out of her presence, the closeness still making her skin crawl a little but she had to play her part as the loving mother, "good morning," it was easier now. Easier to spend time with her and share the same space, Snow seemed to cherish the time she gave her and that made it easier as well.

"Good morning," she eyed over the elegant lavender dress she wore, hugging tight around her chest and waist and then left to hang softly from her hips to drag lightly on the stone floor, "I love your dress! Are you not going riding today?"

"Thank you, dear," she smiled softly at the admiration on her face as her eyes moved over the gown, "no I am not going riding today."

"Why not?"

"There is much to do today, appearances have to be made, queenly duties need to be performed," it was all quite boring really. Leopold had gotten along just fine before she was married to him, she never did much but stand there and look nice anyway.

"Hmmm," Snow hummed thoughtfully and then smiled brightly, "I could cover for you! At least for a little while, enough for you to see your friend. Surely he could make you happy and the day would slip by faster?"

Regina stopped dead, "you would do that?"

Snow laughed, "of course! Days like these are no fun, at least one of us should be able to escape for a little while. Besides," she shrugged and let a playful grin spread over her mouth, "there may come a day where I want to sneak out and you will owe me a favor," her grin only widened in success when a real laugh shook Regina's shoulders gently.

"Is that so?" She was thoroughly amused by her reasoning and she let it show.

Snow nodded, "yes it is."

...

"Hey! I thought you said you weren't going to be able to make it today?"

Regina shook her head as she tried to catch her breath, she had saved time by riding to him bareback and simply changing her lavender gown in to a simple cotton dress of various shades of beige and rusty browns through the use of magic. She slid off Rocinante and bounced playfully toward her shepherd, "I didn't think I was going to," she grinned, "seems my stepdaughter likes the idea of me owing her a favor."

"Oh really?" He laughed as she sauntered playfully toward him, "and how, may I ask, did you rope her in to that?"

"Wasn't my idea," she shook her head, "she came up with it entirely on her own," she pursed her lips together in a tight smirk.

"Seems she's taking after you."

"I certainly hope not," she grinned widely as a laugh vibrated deep in her throat, "I only have a few minutes. I just wanted to see you and put myself in a good mood before I face what is going to be a horribly boring day."

"Well you have already made my day infinitely better," he took her hand in his and brought it up to his lips where he kissed her knuckles through a smile. He loved how he was able to bring a rosy blush to her cheeks and a shy smile to her lips with such a simple act.

"I should get going, my stepdaughter is not the most adept liar and I don't need her confusing her story," she rolled her eyes dramatically, making fun of Snow's honest character. She became frozen in place when her eyes met his and he was closer to her than before.

"Alright," he ran his thumb over the back of her hand that he had lifted between the two of them with both of his hands consuming hers, "I'll miss you while you're gone."

"I'll miss you too," she managed to hush out a whisper, she couldn't manage anything more with the way his rough hands held hers so gently. It was nice, distracting but soothing.

He smiled softly as he watched her eyes move to their hands. He loved her dearly, he didn't even know her name and he loved her more than he had loved anyone. He only wished he could show her how much he loved her. He didn't want to put her in that position, instead he leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead.

Regina closed her eyes and leaned slightly into the contact, a quiet hum escaping her as he kissed her. He was a kind and selfless man, willing to sacrifice his own happiness to keep her from having to struggle. She wished their timing was different. She wished everything was different.

He pulled away and tenderly pushed a rogue curl behind her ear and his heart strained painfully as she leaned subtly into his hand, "I will see you soon," he offered her a smile which she happily mirrored.

"Most definitely."

...

"Did you even leave?" Snow walked up to her mother curiously. She looked exactly the same as when she had left just over an hour earlier.

Regina laughed, if she was able to fool Snow then Leopold surely would not notice, "of course I did. What was your story?" She walked quickly and Snow turned and fell in step beside her.

"Your seamstress held you up, unable to get a new gown unpinned enough for you to get it off," her heart skipped and her smile widened at the approving nod Regina gave her.

"Very good," it was simple and easy to manipulate, she was impressed, "poor woman is going to have to make another gown," she laughed quietly and shrugged it off. If a new gown was the price she had to pay for keeping her shepherd from Leopold then so be it. As they neared the large doors separating them from the rest of the royal party Regina stopped and turned to Snow, "I don't believe I've thanked you for what you have done. Thank you, Snow," he nodded and reached out to hold her arms, "I mean it, thank you."

Snow smiled widely, finally starting to gain back Regina's trust, "you're very welcome, mother," she was thrilled at the attention Regina was finally offering her. "Oh," Snow laughed and reached her hand in to Regina's long hair hanging perfectly around her shoulders, "can't have people seeing this."

Regina laughed quietly and shook her head at the small twig Snow twirled between her fingers, "no, can't have that." She was pleasantly surprised by Snow's willingness to help her, she didn't think she would be able to keep her secret and even if she thought she would she wouldn't have thought her stepdaughter would be helping her sneak out of the castle. Nevertheless Regina was waiting for it all to come toppling down on top of her.

Taking a deep breath, she straightened her posture further she pulled the large doors open with a queenly smile and walked gracefully to Leopold's side, "sorry I'm late, dear," she planted a kiss on his cheek just for show. They put on the facade of a loving family whenever they were in public or whenever they had guests and this was one of those times. It was quite believable really.

"I am happy to see you are out of those pins," he smiled up at her as she moved around to the chair next to him, "is this the gown?"

"Oh, no," she shook her head, acknowledging the various royalties sitting around the table, "no that, is a surprise my dear," it earned her a low laughter from their guests and she sat down next Leopold. She remained silent, with a smile on her face as they talked about various positives and negatives of various topics of discussion, she wasn't paying much attention, she had her mind on the way her shepherd's lips felt against her skin and how they would feel against her own.


	5. Chapter 5

**Alright ages, I got a couple of questions on how old every one is in this story so let me try and clear that up for you all. Regina is about ten years older than Snow, give or take, Snow is in her late teens, young adult sort of age and then Charming is a few years older than Snow and a few years younger than Regina :) Hope that clears everything up! I'm looking forward to your reviews on this one! Happy new year! **

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Regina snuck up behind him, biting her bottom lip to keep herself from laughing as she got closer and he remained sitting, entirely unaware of her presence. When she was right behind him she covered his eyes with her hands, chuckling deep in her throat when he nearly jumped out of his skin, "guess who."

In hearing her voice he relaxed and laughed with her, "now that's not fair. I don't know your name," he tilted his head back to where he assumed he would be able to see her if she were to remove her hands.

She smirked even though she knew he couldn't see her, "what? No guesses?"

"Why? When I know I won't get it right?"

"Oh surely you have something you call me? For instance I call you my shepherd," she smiled at him, her moment of vulnerability eased with a kind laugh and a warm smile from his lips.

"I like that," it was a simple title but coming from her it was a special name that he would hold close to him, "you want to know what I call you?"

"Yes," she laughed gently, "unless its something horrible, then you can keep it to yourself," her smile grew as a rich laughter rang from his mouth.

"I call you my girl, my beautiful precious girl."

Regina hummed softly and ran her thumbs across his hairline, "I like that," there was no soft laughter, no smile, she was touched. She was touched to have him call her his, it was something she had wanted someone to call her for a very long time. Remembering her hands were still over his eyes, she pulled them away and smiled down at him as his blue eyes adjusted to the light.

She was beautiful, her long hair left down in dark curls to hang softly around her face as she looked down at him, equally dark eyes shining brightly in the afternoon sun and a smile that he had fallen in love with the very first time he had seen it. He wanted her so much it hurt, he wanted to make her happy, he wanted to know what her soft pink lips would feel like if he kissed her, he wanted to make her his, "you're here later that usual."

"Yes but," she raised her eyebrows as she stood up tall with a wide smile, "I have all night before I have to go back," she couldn't help the laughter rising in her at the excitement on his face.

"Really? Why?"

"I am getting fitted for a dress that no one is allowed to see until it is finished," she had her hands on her hips and looked up at him smugly as he made his way closer to her. As it turned out, Snow's cover story offered quite the opportunity for her to escape and with her daughter's help, she was able to sneak out for the night.

"And what happens when this dress is not finished in time?"

"Oh you let me worry about that."

"Does this mean you're staying for dinner?"

"Is that an offer?"

He grinned at her as he stood well within arms length, "you don't need an offer, you are always welcome to stay."

"Well then," she tilted her chin up slightly, "I guess I'm staying," the excitement on his face was unmistakeable. She let her eyes wander over his features, her smile widening as she did, "you could use a hair cut," she laughed as she stepped closer to him and brought her hand to his face, "and a shave."

"Well the rest of us can't always look as perfect as you all the time," the red that rose to her cheeks made him grin, "although I do agree. Will you do it for me?"

"What? Cut your hair and give you a shave?" She laughed, teasing him.

"Why not?"

She mulled it over quietly and slowly nodded her head, "you trust me with a blade against your throat?"

"Should I not?" He raised his eye brows and she hummed a quiet laugh as she looked over his face.

...

She sat quietly in front of him, warm eyes set in concentration as she moved the sharp blade across his jaw. He couldn't help but stare at her while she was so close, neither of them spoke. It was peaceful and he had a beautiful view. Her gentle fingers turning his head slightly to get a better angle as she carefully brought the blade down over taut skin was relaxing and despite having his head turned he kept his eyes on her face.

It made him want to smile every time her teeth found her bottom lip as she concentrated hard on her task. He found his eyes often lingering on the scar just above the right side of her top lip. He had noticed it before but now he was memorizing it, imprinting it in his memory to look back on in the future. He wondered how she had gotten it, perhaps he would ask her later.

Her breath against his jaw turned his damp skin cool despite the fact that it was warm and her soft sweet scent calmed him even more. He wanted to bury his hands in her shiny dark curls and pull her in to a kiss. Instead he lifted his chin as a delicate finger pushed it up gently.

"Don't move."

The corner of his mouth pulled into a small smile as she caught her bottom lip in her teeth once more as she brought the blade up his neck and under his chin. He didn't know if she was aware she was doing it or if it was just a little quirk of hers, either way he loved it. It suited her.

"There," she whispered as she pulled the blade from his chin. She put the blade down in a bowl of water on the grass next to her and brought a clean rag to his face, patting the tender skin down softly. As she put the rag down she moved her eyes over his hair and face, admiring the way he looked without his stubble and lengthy hair, "there you are," she spoke softly through a smile as she brought a hand up to his face to wipe away a spot on his lip that she had missed with the rag.

Her thumb lingered over his lip and her eyes remained focused on them, wondering what it would be like to kiss him. She knew it was a slippery slope but she was tired of wondering and wishing when it would be so easy to just do it and find out. With lips already parted from thought, Regina moved in slowly until she felt his mouth against hers.

Neither one of them moved, they both waited a moment to let the other change their mind, as though they had a choice. It was her shepherd that moved first, pulling away slightly only to come back and capture her lips in his once again. It took her breath away, there was no other way to describe it. She had forgotten what it had felt like to be kissed with such, well, love.

She felt his hands skim across her neck and tangle in her hair to settle on the nape of her neck, holding her close. His lips moved slowly with hers, taking his time, savoring her, and most importantly earning the right to take her heart completely.

Now that he had her he never wanted to let go. He kissed her softly and tentatively, holding her to him as his heart raced in his chest despite the slow pace. He finally got to kiss her, his girl, and it was wonderful, enough for his head to spin and his stomach jump with excitement. Slowly her hands moved up his chest and hung lazily around his neck and she intertwined her fingers together behind him as they pulled away to breath but kept their foreheads leaning against each other.

"Regina."

It was a soft whisper from her lips and he smiled. Of course that was her name, it was perfect, "Regina," he whispered back, loving the way it came off his tongue. It was a strong name, beautiful, regal, soft, powerful, and he couldn't think of a better name. He leaned in and kissed her smiling lips, softly laughing along with her as she kissed him back. He pulled away slowly, running a thumb over the corner of her jaw, his hands still holding the nape of her neck, "James."

Regina hummed quietly through a smile as she looked between his warm blue eyes, "James," she rocked her head playfully after she said his name for the first time. She was giddy, happier than she had been in a long time, she wanted to stay there forever. Just stay in his arms and stay happy. She didn't have much time before his lips crashed on to hers and muffled an excited laugh as he nearly pushed her over.

"It's about time!"

Startled, Regina pulled away quickly and looked over James' shoulder to find Ruth standing with a basket in her hands and a grin on her face. She pulled her arms down from his neck with an embarrassed smile but when she tried to move away she was held in place by his hands that had moved down to her waist without her knowledge. It had her smile growing wide and her eyes darting to the ground as her cheeks flushed.

"Oh don't be embarrassed, silly girl," she waved a hand at her as she laughed, "have you come back to stay for dinner?"

"Yes," Regina nodded and looked up at the older woman, "yes I have all night," it was strange to her how excited Ruth had become at her answer. She didn't think it was possible for a smile to spread so wide, especially toward her.

"Oh that's just wonderful!" She started walking to the door before she stopped and turned back to the pair sitting on the grass, "please tell me that you know each other's names? I would hate to call my son by his name by mistake and ruin your game."

James turned his head over his shoulder with a wide grin, "yes mother, we know each other's names."

"Oh my!" Ruth put her basket down on the ground and walked quickly over to her son, "look at you! Look at you, all cleaned up! You are so handsome my boy," she held her son's face in her hands and admired his new appearance as he laughed under his breath. She laughed along and then turned her attention to the young brunette sporting a similar smile, "I leave him alone for a few hours and you manage to get him cleaned up, do you have any idea how long I've been trying to do that? And you did such a wonderful job!"

It was all so different, different in a refreshing way, her mother had never given such appraisals for things so small. She was beginning to realize how much she had missed out on having Cora as her mother.

"Now," Ruth offered her hands and smiled as the girl took them and let her help her up, "what is your name you beautiful girl?"

"Regina," to her it was just a name but to this small family it was so much more.

Ruth smiled brightly, "how perfect is that. Just like the queen."

"Yes," Regina nodded and smiled, "just like the queen."

"What a beautiful name for a beautiful woman," she cocked her head and looked over Regina. When she had first met her she was so troubled and while she still had her moments, she could see the improvement. She was relaxed and certainly happier, the wonders a little time and effort could do for a person, "come you two lovebirds, help me make dinner."

...

"How is she supposed to help me clean up when you have your hands all over her?" Ruth stepped forward and swatted her son's hands away from Regina's waist with a wooden spoon, the three of them laughing together. She grinned approvingly when he lifted his hands in surrender, "go tend to the sheep," the words came out in a laugh and it continued as he backed away.

"Okay, okay," he kept his hands lifted as he backed up toward the door. He made it nearly to the door when his mother turned her back to him and Regina smiled and followed suit, turning her attention back to drying the dishes. He couldn't help himself, she was as good as his and he didn't want to leave her so he ran silently up behind her and spun her around, thoroughly enjoying the small yelp and amused laughter that he muffled with a stolen kiss.

"I said get out!" Ruth laughed and moved to swat his hands once more but he had already let go and was backing out once again. She made sure he had left and closed the door behind him before she turned around and worked on cleaning the last dish. She watched Regina out of the corner of her eye, she was smiling widely as she worked and Ruth wouldn't have been surprised if a laugh rose out of her, "I'm glad the two of you found each other. You make him so happy."

Regina didn't know what to say. Even after spending hours at her side she was not used to the kindness the woman had offered her. She was fully realizing now how much she had missed out on. Her mother had rarely ever shown her any kindness let alone love and when she had they were only moments, gone as quick as they came. She had tried so hard to earn any form of love from her mother but no matter how hard she tried, no matter what she did, she never got any.

She knew it wasn't perfect but she hadn't known how far from perfect it was until she had met Ruth. She only had to look her way and the woman would give her a smile full of warmth and kindness. She loved her son dearly and she cared for her the very instant the woman had laid eyes on her. It was quite the contrast, she knew now how much her mother had damaged her.

Ruth pulled the last dish from the water and handed it to Regina but when she didn't take it Ruth turned to where she stood to grab her attention with a teasing comment but stopped the second she caught sight of her. She stood tense, resting her weight on her hands that were braced against the top of the worn wooden table and her eyes were squeezed shut, her mouth set in a troubled and painful frown. It was concerning especially considering only moments ago she was laughing happily, "Regina?" Her eyes snapped open at her name, "are you alright, dear?"

"James is lucky to have a mother like you," she nodded, hating how her voice was tight with sadness and noticeably so.

Ruth smiled but was not put at ease, "thank you. I'm sure you make your mother very happy, a pretty and strong girl like yourself would make any mother happy."

Regina let out a single cold laugh as she shook her head, "if my mother was ever happy with me she certainly didn't show it." She closed her eyes tightly again in an attempt to shove the unhappy memories back down.

"Perhaps she just didn't know how to show it," she hated to see her in such a state of inner turmoil, "she must have loved you."

Again Regina shook her head, keeping her eyes closed, "I don't know if she is even capable of such a thing," it hurt to talk so coldly, her voice so empty. A humorless laugh escaped her lips as she opened her eyes and continued, "I was fine, well I wasn't fine, but I didn't know any different so I didn't think if could be much different until," her voice cracked and she took a stressed breath, "until I met you and I spent time with you and I saw how much you love James and how you are so kind to me," she shook her head as a tear rolled down her cheek, "he is lucky to have a mother like you."

"My dear," Ruth walked up to Regina's side and placed a comforting hand over her back. She wondered now if anyone had ever shown this girl any kindness, surely there had to be someone. But then, when her son had first described this broken and angry woman, she had to acknowledge the possibility.

"She hurt me in a way that could never heal. So I rid myself of her," her tears fell quickly now and she lowered her head with small shakes, "I sent my own mother away to a place where she could never come back to hurt me again."

Ruth was taken aback at her words, the pain behind them as her voice shook with cries threatening to be voiced was unsettling. She removed her hand from her back and moved them to hold the girl's face between her hands causing her to turn to face her. Her dark eyes were flooded with pain and glossed over with fresh tears to replace the ones that had fallen down her cheeks already, "oh you precious, precious girl!" Ruth shook her head gently and wiped the tears from her face, "come here."

Regina crumbled in to Ruth's kind and caring arms, resting her hands on her chest and her head on her shoulder as the tears streamed silently down her cheeks. She closed her eyes gently as Ruth began running her fingers soothingly through her dark hair, a simple gesture that had Regina letting her head drop its full weight in to Ruth through a shaky breath that threatened to turn into a cry.

"Thank you," Regina managed a whisper in to the older woman's shoulder, the tears still rolling down her cheeks.

"You don't have to thank me Regina," she shook her head as she continued running a hand through her hair while the other held her close around her back, "I'll be here for you dear. Anything you need. I won't hurt you."


	6. Chapter 6

**I apologize for the long wait! I've got no proper excuse :p I've just been so excited for the show to come back on and to start writing Unfolding a Plan again! That's besides the point though ;) Enjoy! **

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"Mother!"

Her cheery voice still rubbed her the wrong way but it was less like glass cutting into her skin now and more like being pricked repetitively by pins, uncomfortable but more tolerable. After quickly pushing the metal buckle of the girth through its designated hole in the saddle's billet she turned to face Snow with a smile, "yes dear?" The stables had been the place she would go to get away from Snow and yet here she was.

"I thought I may have missed you," she walked quickly to Regina with a wide and hopeful smile, "I was wondering if maybe I could join you today on your ride?" She watched as Regina's expression became unreadable and carefully guarded.

"Uh," Regina cocked her head and averted her gaze to the stable floor as her features creased in thought. She didn't particularly want to be in Snow's company longer than necessary and she wanted to go see James, her shepherd and she couldn't very well do that with Snow tagging along.

Snow took another step forward and moved her hands in small gestures as she spoke, "you did say that maybe one of these days I could go with you provided you don't have to save me again," she began gently picking at her fingers, hopeful that she would agree. They had gradually grown closer since she had trusted her with her secret, she could see she was slowly letting her pick away at her walls she had put up and for that she was grateful.

"I think that is a wonderful idea."

Regina let her eyes harden, momentarily letting her hate toward the girl show as Snow looked past her over her shoulder to Leopold. Subtly shaking her head free from the darkness, she turned her head to find Leopold had stopped next to her, "yes," she nodded slowly as she looked at something at Leopold's feet, "yes I suppose it would be alright."

She found no easy way out that didn't involve a web of lies to tend to to keep Leopold from the truth. It was just easier to allow Snow to join her, given the progress in their relationship she may even find herself having a good time, "you're not wearing that," she motioned to the baby blue gown, "princess or not, I am not letting you in the forest wearing that."

Snow grinned happily as she nodded and quickly looked over what Regina was wearing for some idea of what she was looking for her to come back in. A beautiful deep red coat that skimmed the stable floor and fit her closely with buttons ending at her waist to allow for a leg to peak through clad in tight fitting chocolate brown pants paired with shining black riding boots, under the coat she wore a very simple and low cut ivory top to contrast the elaborate pattern hidden in the red fabric of the coat. With her image in mind and her smile only growing excitedly, "I'll be right back!"

Regina watched her run from the stable, conflicted by the warmth that she was able to make her happy and the sharp cold that dug at her knowing she was going to be spending time with the girl that took her happiness from her. She shot Leopold a quick smile before her hands found Rocinante's girth and she loosened it to give her some comfort as they waited for Snow's return, "did you need something?"

Leopold shook his head simply, "no I was looking for Snow and was told she had come down here," he kept his hands folded behind him and watched her move. The tension, frustration, and sorrow that had plagued her months earlier had faded significantly in to something that resembling contentment. When she turned around he could see the life had started to return to her dark eyes and she was beginning to resemble the woman he had proposed to so many years ago.

The joy on his face was entirely foreign to her, it was full of relief and it confused her. Her eyes moved over his face and she remained entirely relaxed as he stepped forward and held her jaw gently in his hands, he had never looked at her like that before and she was beginning to worry that maybe he had changed his mind and found a way to care for her. It would have been comforting if he had but she had already given her heart to her shepherd.

When his lips connected to her forehead instead of her own lips she let out a long sigh of relief through her nose as she slightly leaned in to the contact as she closed her eyes. It was the most real feeling he had shown toward her in all her time with him. It was a kind and friendly gesture that would leave her comforted rather than hurt and lonely, "thank you."

He knew exactly what she meant, she was thanking him for not leaving her hurt from another loveless kiss. He didn't want to do that to her again, he didn't want to have her cry again. He knew she did, despite her best efforts to hide it from him, he knew it broke her down a little more every time.

The kiss was quick, only a few seconds, when he pulled back he kept her face in his hands and was relieved to see none of the pain that had been there in the past, "I am happy to see you are doing better."

...

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know."

"Well where were you going to go before you allowed me to come with you?"

Regina momentarily debated her answer but chose honesty, "I was going to see my friend."

"Can we go?"

Regina laughed at her absurdity and shook her head, "absolutely not."

"Come on please! I want to meet this friend of yours," she smiled at the low laugh barely audible from Regina's grinning lips. Snow knew she wasn't going to give him up that easily, "how about I race you for it?"

Intrigued, Regina lifted her chin and looked at Snow with a smug expression, "go on."

"I win, I get to meet this friend," she chuckled, excited by the possibility of racing her mother, "I lose, I never ask again," her smile grew wide as Regina nodded thoughtfully through a contemplative smile as she looked the pair over, weighing her chances.

Snow's bay stallion was much larger than her own mare, she had only ridden him once, a request from Leopold to see if the horse would be too much to handle for his daughter. He was magnificent and quite well mannered but she didn't believe he had quite as much heart as her little mare. Besides, in woods like these, a smaller and more agile horse gave her the benefit. Regina hummed thoughtfully and then met Snow's blue eyes with a dare, "deal," her heart lifted and the competition grew in her as the victorious grin spread over the girls impossibly red lips.

"Deal," she nodded once and without warning and without breaking eye contact with Regina, dug her heels in to her horse's sides causing him to lurch forward and burst in to a powerful gallop.

Regina laughed quietly at her little trick and quickly pushed Rocinante up in to a gallop, reveling in the strength in the mare's hind quarters and she sat back and pushed the both of them forward in a powerful stride, front hooves digging in the earth as the hind ones pushed off and they gave chase. Regina laughed richly as Rocinante quickly gained ground and they were only strides behind Snow and her large bay.

When she looked over her shoulder she was surprised to see Regina so close and she laughed lowly as she pushed him faster. The hoof beats from both horse's thundered through the forest but did not cover the sound of her mother's laughter behind her. Beside her. Snow laughed wildly in her surprise when she turned her head to see how much ground they had gained only to find they had lost it and Regina was now next to them.

She had thought she would have had the advantage with her stallion but she realized now that Regina knew horses better than she and she would never have agreed if she didn't think she had a chance. That wasn't going to stop her though. She matched Regina's open mouthed grin and encouraged her stallion to go faster.

Regina laughed at Snow's efforts but judging by how both horses matched one another's stride now perfectly and their nostrils flared with competition as their eyes remained locked on one another's, it was a battle between them now. Regina's purpose now was to simply steady her mare so she would not stumble, she didn't think it would have been possible to enjoy her time with Snow this much. Her attention was caught by both horse's ears flicking forward, Snow seemed to notice as well but her expression differed from her own. A fallen tree blocked their path, roughly shoulder height when standing next to it, while Snow hesitated Regina's spirits lifted impressively.

Skidding to a halt in front of the tree, Snow sat perfectly perched upon her dark horse and watched in wonder as Regina continued and her mare cleared the log with ease. She laughed through her panting as Rocinante untucked her legs and landed perfectly, continuing a few strides before Regina stopped her and trotted back up to the log, halting with a wide grin.

"I win."

Snow laughed at the way she said them through a toothy grin as though she knew she was going to win the entire time. She nodded and then shook her head as she dropped her eyes to her horse's neck, patting him in a reward for his efforts, "yes you did, although you cheated."

She couldn't have stopped the low laughter if she had wanted, "my dear, you are supposed to cross the finish line," she shook her head through her laughter, "not stop in front of it."

"Oh!" She laughed loudly, "that must have been where I went wrong!" She lifted her hands in exclamation as her shoulders shook and a smile played over her face as she looked up to the sky.

...

"Regina!"

She turned her head toward the sound of her name and she felt impossibly light when she saw her shepherd jogging to her through the crowd with a bright smile. It was a wonder how he hadn't run in to anyone considering he never once broke eye contact with her. She walked toward him with a skip in her step and a giddy laughter rose from her as his hands reached the top of her hips and pulled her in to him.

She paid no attention to the townspeople around them and arched her back in to him, pressing herself closer as she hung her arms over his shoulders, "hello," her lips pulled in to a wide smile as she looked up in to his blue eyes. Still smiling, her lips parted and her eyes darted down to his lips before meeting his eyes again.

The exchange took only moments before her head was spinning and his lips found hers in a firm kiss. She chuckled at his urgency but found she was no less urgent herself when her arms moved of their own volition and snaked tighter around his neck, pulling herself up higher to get a better angle. Their kisses had grown bolder but no less gentle since their first. She opened her mouth slightly further in a shy invitation and to her delight he obliged and slipped his tongue past her lips and ran it over hers, eliciting a quiet moan from her.

He pulled away reluctantly, thoroughly enjoying how she followed him as he did so, leaning in to him and softly pouting before she started to laugh, "hello," he leaned in and gave her a quick kiss, "l missed you," he swayed them subtly, enjoying the way her features lit up brightly, her dark eyes seemingly lightened with happiness.

"I missed you too," she traced her finger along his sharp jaw line and softly over his smiling lips before she leaned in and kissed him once again. She kept her fingers lightly on the side of his face and she kissed him slowly, her lips caressing his between savoring the feel of his warm breath over her jaw. "I'm sorry I couldn't see you yesterday, I know we had planned to-" her hovering lips were stopped by another kiss from him.

"It's okay, you had your reasons," he smiled and ran his hands up and down her sides, "I'll always be here when you come back," for a moment he lost himself in her dark eyes. Dark eyes that were burning with light and life, it was difficult to believe that they were dull and and filled only with anger only months ago. He trailed his hand over her cheek and pushed a loose strand of dark hair behind her ear as he exhaled long through his nose, "I love you," instantly her features became guarded.

"You love me?" She could manage only a choked whisper as the combination of fear and love fought within her. With Daniel's passing she had blocked herself off, scared of what could happen if she let herself truly love again. She didn't want to get hurt again, she didn't know how well she would fare if she had love ripped from her once more.

James nodded definitively, "yes. I do," her hands were resting on his chest now, her lips parted in a silent protest as her eyes darted between his, looking for the lie. In the state he had initially found her in he did not blame her for looking for a way out, he did not take it personally, he did not expect her to tell him that she loved him back either. He didn't want her to say it until she was ready.

...

Snow walked down the long corridor next to her father as they made their way to the courtyard. They often walked together, enjoying the fresh air and the conversations they shared together. She loved her father dearly and she could only hope that someday Regina would feel the same.

"I never did ask you. How was your ride with Regina yesterday?"

"It was great! We talked a lot," she smiled fondly as she recalled the recent memories, "it was nice to hear her laugh again."

"Yes that is something I would hope to hear. I have never heard it before."

"You haven't?"

Leopold shook his head sadly, "no I have not," he tried to remember a time when he may have heard it but he came up empty. He had heard her forced and fake laughter when it was needed to be heard in the company of others but he had never once heard her real laugh.

"It is quite a beautiful laugh," Snow smiled softly and shrugged, "I'm sure you'll hear it soon enough, I mean he has done wonders on her already..." she instantly felt sick to her stomach.

"He?"

She could feel the blood drain from her face. She had never felt worse. She had broken her promise to Regina. The promise she swore she would keep, the one that she had kept for so long and the one that had in turn gained Regina's trust in her. She couldn't find her voice, she couldn't come up with a way out. She had betrayed her.

"Snow," Leopold stopped and turned to Snow who made a point to avoid his eyes, "who is 'he'?" The panic and discomfort in his daughter only got his mind reeling, "Snow, where is Regina?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Alright! The aftermath of Snow's slip up and a hint as to where this will be going at the end ;) I'm off to go start the update for Unfolding a Plan which is gonna be a little difficult seeing as how David was kind of a prick toward Regina this episode. Enjoy this chapter! I hope it won't be too long before I update again! **

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"My queen."

Regina turned her attention momentarily to the servant standing in the doorway before she turned back and lifted the saddle from Rocinante's back, "yes?"

"His majesty requests your presence."

Regina motioned with her head for the servant to come and when he walked up to her she handed him the saddle and he moved to put it away. It wasn't very often that Leopold had sent for her so she needn't waste time. Quickly she ran a brush over Rocinante and closed her in her large stall, "assure she is tended to please," she spoke to the servant kindly, "feed and water," she nodded her thanks and turned, walking quickly from the stable.

...

Slowly, Regina pushed the large wooden door open in to Leopold's chambers, "you asked to see me?" she walked toward him but her relaxed and proper posture quickly became tense and unnerved when he kept his back to her. Something wasn't right, in fact something was very wrong.

"Who is he?"

Regina's heart instantly plummeted and panic threatened to settle within her, "he?"

"Snow has brought to my attention that you have been spending time with another man," he turned around to face her, she held her wrist in one hand and let her arms hang in front of her. Her expression was carefully guarded to be unreadable, he was unable to decipher what was going through her head.

_Snow_. The anger began to burn inside her once again, the flame that had been tamed and brought down to a mere flicker was now roaring and she wanted nothing more than to go scream at the girl, throw her with the magic Rumplestiltskin had been teaching her. She kept her voice neutral, "how do you mean?"

"Do not play games with me, Regina."

His voice dipped threateningly but she only found it reassuring that he could actually feel frustration, anger, the darker emotions. She continued dodging him, not at all willing to give up her shepherd, "I am not playing games. I wish to know what you mean by your accusation."

Leopold stepped closer to her so they were just out of arms reach from each other, "where do you go on your rides?"

"Many different places."

"Let me rephrase. Who do you see on your rides?"

"A friend."

He was growing tired of her answers, "name."

"I've only just learned his name. Seems it has slipped my mind," she was never going to give him his name. With a name, he could find her shepherd.

"Regina."

There was that threatening dip again, "yes?"

"A name."

"I cannot give a name that I do not recall."

"I'm sure you can remember."

"Even if I could I'm sure you would understand why I would be less than willing to give it up," her voice tensed angrily on the last few words. She held his stare dangerously, not daring to back down, not when the possibility of her shepherd losing his life was present. She wasn't entirely certain that Leopold's kind nature would prevent him from killing her lover. Lover. She loved him. A small smile crept over her mouth without her consent and she regretted it instantly but she morphed it in to one that was laced with a threat.

"You find this amusing?"

"Absolutely not."

"Who is this man?"

His voice was raising but it didn't phase her, "I told you already he is a friend."

"And this _friend_ has managed to cause these changes in you? Has managed to make you happy? Seems like a lot more than a friend, Regina."

"Well you clearly do not understand what it is like to have someone who will truly listen to you when you need it most," she leaned forward, verging on aggressive.

"You talk to me! When you need someone to listen to you you come to me!"

"I can not come to _you_!" Her face creased in anger and accusation, she was yelling back at him now, "you would not understand! You can not hear these things! You can not know what is eating away at me! I can not share my pain with you!"

"But you can share it with a man you barely know?"

"Yes I can! I can because he is not tainted with the knowledge of who I am or who you are or who Snow is!"

"He does not know who you are?" That offered him some relief, news of the queen with another man would spread like wild fire.

"Do you think I am stupid? You think I would tell him that I am the queen? Are you mad?" She let out a dark breathy laughter.

"Well then explain this to me! I am giving you this one chance to explain yourself."

Regina was hesitant, quickly going over what he wanted to hear in her own head before she voiced it. She didn't want to give any more than she absolutely needed to him, "he approached me, we did not share our names, only a general summary of our lives. He is kind to me, he listens to me," she looked over Leopold coldly, "he has taken the time and effort to help me. He is my friend."

She had moved closer to him, her jaw was tight and her eyes dared him to cross her, "are you not happy here?"

"You know quite well that I am not happy here."

"Have you lain with this man."

"No! A betrayal like that..." She shook her head, "no."

"Would you?" Her hesitance to answer followed by silence was answer enough. It enraged him, "do I need to remind you what it would do to this family if you were to lay with another man?"

"You speak as though I am part of this _family_!" she spat the words at him and was shocked at the sudden harsh sting across her cheek that had forced her to stumble back. Her hand found it almost immediately, her skin was hot under her palm and she straightened her posture and looked back up at Leopold in shock, eyes wide and lips parted. She could see he regretted his actions, she knew she had pushed him and had pushed him a little too far.

He had never once laid a hand on her, or any other woman for that matter. He felt guilty, he opened his mouth to apologize but no words came out and they stood staring at one another for what seemed like hours. The air between them grew thick with tension, the silence was deafening and the look on her face was devastating to him, "Regina, I-"

She cut him off quickly, angry and not wanting to hear his apology, "no! I am exhausted! I am so tired of this! You are angry now be angry! For God's sake just show something different!"

The red mark his hand had left on her fair skin was nearly as distracting as the tears that were shining in her dark eyes, "I forbid you to see him again," his voice was quiet, still shocked at himself for hitting her.

Regina shook her head firmly, "no."

"Yes, Regina! I forbid you to leave this castle without an escort! You will not see that man again!"

"You can not keep me prisoner here!"

"I am not keeping you prisoner! You can leave when ever you like provided you take an escort with you."

"What is the difference?" Her voice was sharp and bitter.

Leopold ignored her question, "I will not allow you to do something stupid and ruin the reputation of this family and our kingdom."

Regina clenched her jaw tight and glared at him, anger tensing her entire body, fingernails digging in to her palms. He would not keep her from her shepherd, she would find a way. Her anger bursted and she didn't even blink when the mirrors and the various glassware on the tables shattered simultaneously. It more than startled Leopold and he looked around to observe the broken glass and then back to her in confusion but she offered him no change in her expression and she turned and stalked out of the room.

Furious, she walked with large quick strides, she wanted to scream. She touched her fingertips to her cheek and found the skin to still be hot, she pulled her fingers away and looked at them as if she were checking for blood despite knowing there was none. Her anger only grew when she rounded the corner and found Snow, she didn't slow her pace, she shot her a cold glare and continued on her way and was absolutely infuriated when she dared to follow her.

"Regina!" She felt absolutely sick to her stomach, she hadn't stopped shaking or crying since her father had closed himself in his chambers. "Regina wait! I didn't, it was, I-," she took her arm in her hand only to have Regina rip it roughly from her and spin around sharply causing Snow to take a step back.

"I don't care why or how or if it was intentional or if it was an accident," she stepped forward slowly, like a cat stalking its prey, "the fact is you did it," she kept her voice down, only increasing the deadly tone it carried. She continued walking forward and Snow continued walking backward, the tears streaming down her face gave Regina no consolation, she looked right past them, right down to the distrustful girl Regina knew she was.

Gradually her voice began to raise in to a venomous yell, "you betrayed me. I trusted you! I trusted you with my secret and you betrayed me again!" She saw the confusion flash over her face but was too angry and hurt to care. Regina wanted to strangle her. It wasn't a difficult secret to keep, neither was her and Daniel's and she still couldn't keep it. The trust and fondness that Snow had managed to muster up out of her was completely shattered and irreversibly so.

With Regina only inches away from her she could see the fading red mark on her gentle skin. She let out a choked gasp as she looked at it and then back to Regina's cold eyes that reflected nothing but hate and pain. Surely her father wouldn't have struck her.

"You have ruined everything," her voice quieted to a hateful whisper. It would be so easy for her to kill her.

All of her effort, all of her earned trust, all of the new friendship she had acquired was lost with one slip of her tongue. She knew she would never gain Regina's trust back and now that she had gotten a taste of what it felt like to be around her mother when she had some of that trust it was going to be hard to never feel it again. She made a move forward and lifted her hands to rest them on Regina, "mother, I-" she stopped and words were replaced with fresh tears as Regina stepped back coldly, her dark eyes digging in to her as if they were daggers.

"If _any_ harm is to come to him, know this," she bent ever so slightly at the waist, letting her fury be known, "I will blame you," she spoke slowly, slowly and clearly so the girl would never forget, so the girl would know without a doubt that it would be her fault. There would be no escape this time, she would not show her any kindness this time.

The deep and menacing tone of her voice caused her to go tense with fear. There was more to this man than she had let her know but now she was putting the pieces together. The happiness, the changes, the devastation, the fury, the secrets, the red hand on her face...Regina loved this man without a name. Snow was not angry, she knew Regina didn't lover her father and despite hoping she would grow to love him she always knew she wouldn't. The conclusion only made her feel more guilty, hurt her more, like a hand squeezing her heart in her chest.

She quickly came to realize that Regina's eyes had become brimmed with tears that threatened to fall but before Snow could say anything Regina turned briskly and walked away quickly with long and angry strides. She covered her mouth with her hands as she let out the breath she wasn't aware she was holding and backed up until she hit a wall where she sunk down, her shoulders shaking from her cries. She had put her mother's happiness and her love at risk, more risk than she had previously thought and she was entirely uncertain of what would happen.

...

Regina threw open the doors to her bed chamber and then slammed them shut with magic, not caring if anyone saw, not even looking over her shoulder to see if anyone was there. "You stupid girl!" She waved her arm angrily, effectively flinging anything and everything in its path with an invisible force of magic, "I trusted you!"

Quite suddenly her legs gave out beneath her and she collapsed to the floor, legs tucked beside her and weight supported by both hands on the cold floor as pained cries tore her body. She didn't know what would happen, she didn't know how she was going to get out of this mess. Her chest hurt from the heavy and tight breaths she fought for through her sobs and her fingers tried to dig in to the stone, anything to hold on to. When she lifted her bowed head she caught glimpse of Daniel's ring laying on the stone floor amongst the mess she had made.

Her legs unwilling to move, she stretched forward and took the ring gently in her hand while she draped the chain over her other, her sobs quieted to shallow breaths but the tears still fell down her cheeks. She ran her thumb over the worn metal, wiping away damage that wasn't there as her brow creased with sadness. "I won't let her do this to me again," while her voice was but a whisper to herself it cracked nonetheless as the tears came faster and she closed her hand around the ring and brought it to her chest, "I won't let him get taken from me again."

...

Regina spun Daniel's ring on her finger slowly as she stared at her reflection in her intricate vanity. She wasn't looking at herself, she wasn't looking at anything, she was entirely lost in thought. The crying had stopped hours ago, the clutter of fallen and broken objects still laid on the floor, she had moved to the vanity to ease the tangled mess her long dark hair had become. It was something she had found had distracted her throughout the years, taking her time to pull her hair in to elaborate braids, focusing on every strand rather than the pain and loneliness she had to live through.

"Rumplestiltskin," she waited patiently for him to appear, never really blinking as her eyes remained glazed over in thought. It was barely seconds before he had made himself known.

"You called," he grinned and looked around the room with interest. The mess along the entire wall did not surprise him, he had assumed she could have quite the temper and was proven correct when she had pushed her mother through the mirror. There were several other times of course but he hadn't witnessed such an outburst since she had met her shepherd.

"I need an advancement in my lessons."

Her empty tone had him curious, "is that so?" He strutted up next to her, his hands dancing as he moved, "and what might these advancements be, dearie?"

She had gotten used to his lack of attention to personal space and because she hadn't been fully drawn from her thoughts and her gaze still set on nothing in the vanity mirror, she didn't even notice that his face was right next to hers, "I need you to teach me how to travel like you do. To disappear and then reappear somewhere else."

Rumplestiltskin let out a high pitched laughed as he stood up straight, "to visit, your shepherd!" He grinned widely as she spun around in her seat with wide eyes, "you think so little of me, dear!" Another shrill laugh escaped him, "yes I will teach you this simple trick but for my own reasons, not for yours."

The shock on her features had him continuing to chuckle. Of course he had known of this shepherd, he kept a close eye on the things he needed and she was most definitely one of those things. What he also knew was King Midas had a little problem with a fearsome dragon, he also knew that one of his own deals with a particular King George was about to need a renewal, a renewal that would surely bring his pretty little monster back in to his manipulative hands.


	8. Chapter 8

**So this is a super long chapter but I doubt you'll even notice seeing as how I had to change the rating to M ;) Enjoy! **

* * *

The traveling was simple really. She had expected it to be a little more difficult but with the help of Rumplestiltskin she had quickly mastered the trick and could easily travel from place to place. Rocinante was a bit more of a challenge. Her shepherd knew that that was how she traveled and she did not want him knowing she could use magic and the thought of her walking such a long distance in such a short period of time would fool no one.

With gentle encouragement and a little bit of magic to help things move faster, Regina had taught her mare to open the simple latch on her stall door to a specific and subtle sound. She would then vanish and reappear further and further away, quietly calling Rocinante toward her and through one of the hidden exits she had created herself from the castle. No one thought much of the activity when the odd person did happen to walk by, they had seen them play the game before when it was actually a game and not a means of escape. The mare enjoyed it, she thought of it as a game, often tossing her head and prancing toward her hidden rider. It brought a smile to Regina's face and once they were through the castle walls and out of eyesight she would summon a bridle to her hand and ride quickly to her shepherd bareback.

She had started to change her clothes once she had left the doors of the castle itself. A simple wave of her hand while no one was watching and her lavish gowns would dissolve into simple linen. It drew less attention but it didn't mean she could be careless. She had gotten quite adept at moving without being seen, a skill she was not exactly proud of but useful nonetheless.

It had been nearly a week since Snow broke her promise and she had not talked to her since. She had taken rides with escorts to ease Leopold's suspicions but she had managed to get out twice to see her shepherd. She had practiced moving around without being seen and had worked with her mare to get her opening the stall latch more efficiently during the time she wasn't able to escape.

It was quite the process but she couldn't stop seeing her shepherd and she couldn't get caught disobeying Leopold's direct orders so she managed. She still hadn't told her shepherd how she felt, she had come close but had always changed her mind at the last second. She wasn't able to love as free as he was. She didn't want to get hurt again. She hoped today would be the day though, that today would be the day that she could put her heart in the sole care of that kind man.

...

James smiled as he watched her canter up the hill toward him, her hair and dress flowing softly behind her. He hadn't seen her quite as often as he had grown used to, almost every day had narrowed down to what would now be only the third time that week.

Something had her shaken the first time that week but she had blatantly refused to tell him and he accepted it, not wanting to push her troubled soul too far. The previous time she had come she was significantly better but he was still concerned and now he swore he would get her to let him take the load off her tired shoulders, "you're here," his voice chimed warmly and his hands found her waist after she swung her leg over her horse's neck so she landed facing him with a gentle bounce.

"Yes I am," she ran her hands over his chest to hold his neck and pull herself up in a firm and hungry kiss. A knowing grin pulled at the corners of her mouth when he returned her kiss with just as much need and force as herself and pulled her in with large hands around her slim waist. She chuckled lightly when she pulled away and remained just above his lips.

He returned the laughter as he spoke, "what has gotten in to you?"

Regina shrugged simply, "I've come to realize that I want to get everything out of our time together. I don't want it to be cut short but in case it does," she rocked her head softly and looked at the ground beside them, "I just, I don't want this to end."

He looked down curiously in to her troubled eyes, "Regina this doesn't have to end," he ran his hands comfortingly up and down her sides, "what gave you such an idea?"

She parted her lips to give him an answer that would ease his mind but her eyebrows knitted together when she could come up with none. She didn't want to lie to her shepherd. She just didn't want to trouble him any further, "my step daughter," she huffed and closed her eyes as she cocked her head slightly and shook it, "seems that once again she was unable to keep my secret," she opened her eyes and tried to smile but it was unsuccessful.

"Your husband," he breathed out the title slowly, still wishing he did not take part in her life. He didn't deserve her, he didn't love her.

"Yes," she nodded slowly but then shook her head, "but fear not, he does not know who you are, not even your name. I would pay any price to keep you safe."

"Price? Regina, did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine," she nodded but she knew he could see right through her smile. He was not one to try and hide what he was thinking and his face became ridden with soft lines of worry and sadness with hints of anger. She lifted her hands to his face and attempted to smooth away the lines with her fingers, "hey," she whispered softly as her eyes followed her fingers over his temples, "you know I don't get knocked down that easy."

"You shouldn't have to worry about getting knocked down at all," he watched sadly as her soft pink lips narrowed into a tight frown.

"I don't deserve you," she whispered as she swallowed the lump growing in her dry throat. Her thumbs moved slowly over his cheek bones and she wandered her eyes over his sharp but gentle features, avoiding his eyes as though she was afraid of what she would find.

"You deserve more than a simple shepherd," he shook his head, "you deserve someone who can take care of you, you deserve a king."

Regina let out a single laugh and her voice danced with a sad uneasiness, "I don't want a king," she found the courage to meet his blue eyes, "I want my shepherd," she cocked her head sadly, her lips forming a sorrowful frown at the love his features were showing her, "I just want my shepherd," she could only manage a whisper as her throat tightened and threatened to send the tears falling. Quietly she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in to the nook of his neck as she closed her eyes.

After a long pause and after he gripped his arms around her small frame he whispered in to her dark hair, "run away with me."

Regina hummed softly, "that would be nice."

"I'm serious."

She smiled in to him, "and there was a time where I would take you up on that offer without a second thought," she shook her head in his neck, "but after the last time...I don't want you to get hurt."

"We can go far away."

"You don't know who I am," she wanted so badly to drop everything and go with him. She knew she could live a happy life with him, she wished she had a chance to do so.

"I know who you are."

She smiled a small smile, he knew her better than anyone but that was not what she meant. Being queen had its perks for sure but it had quite the consequences to follow if she were to step out of line, "if I were to leave with you, you would likely be killed. I'm sure I wouldn't fare much better either."

He sighed as he pushed his head deeper in to the side of hers and rubbed her back heavily. He wondered what life she was living, one that had her so trapped and unhappy. Her grip on him hadn't loosened, "how much time do you have?"

"As much as I feel like taking. I'll figure it out when I get back."

"I don't want him to hurt you again."

Regina smiled in to his neck before she pulled away enough to focus on his eyes, "he won't."

She seemed so sure, "you know I will be here when ever you need?"

"Promise?"

"I promise," he smiled and captured her lips in a quick kiss and then leaned his forehead against hers. Her tilted his head up slightly so his nose pushed against hers and she laughed quietly causing him to smile, "can I take you somewhere?"

"Yes."

"It's a surprise," he grinned when she pulled back with a playfully suspicious look and kept her arms hanging over his shoulders. She didn't even have to try, she was beautiful to him always, even when she pulled her face into childish expressions.

"Is it far?"

James shrugged and looked up at the sky, "not too far."

Regina squinted her eyes mockingly through her pursed lips and backed up, rocking her head on her shoulders, amused by the curious expression on James as he followed her once she left his arms. Her hand found her reins and she stopped, her fingers tapping the leather sequentially in thought. "Be gentle," she pushed her hand forward, offering him the reins.

He smiled brightly at her and took the reins lightly from her hand, "of course," she had told him many times that her horse was dear to her heart and for a long time was her only friend. He was honored to have enough of her trust for her to put her mare in his hands. He rolled his eyes and lifted his leg when she pushed her hands out and she laughed lowly as her hands held his shin and boosted him up. He was going to have to work on getting on himself.

...

"Close your eyes."

"Why?" She laughed behind him and lifted her head from its rest on his back.

He smiled and looked over his shoulder, "because I said," he chuckled quietly when she rolled her eyes before closing them and letting a smirk play over her lips, "thank you," he only got a halfhearted humph as a response, "now hold on," when her arms slinked around his waist he asked Rocinante in to a steady canter.

A small yelp escaped her at the sudden motion but it turned in to a soft laughter as she struggled to keep her eyes closed. Every sound and every movement was magnified without her vision, it was exhilarating. She could hear the sound of water grow closer with every stride and curiosity threatened to get the better of her but she pushed her eyes closed and risked putting her full trust in him.

She gasped audibly when Rocinante's stride suddenly changed and she was sprayed with cold water. Her eyes snapped open and her jaw dropped in as she pulled her knees up and in turn brought her feet out of the water to rest on the warmth of her horse when she came to a halt. A low laugh starting to rise in her throat as she registered what had just happened.

He was delighted by how she gripped his shoulders in her attempt at balance as her chest pushed against his back with sharp and shallow breaths. She began to laugh when she got over the shock but he had other plans. The water was nearly at the mare's back and Regina had managed to perch herself up and out of the water making it easy for her to become off balance even though it was one of her skills.

He laughed loudly when she shrieked and tried to grip on to his shoulders when he gave her a firm but gentle push and she landed in the water with a splash that hit both him and the horse.

"Oh my god!" She pushed the wet hair from her face, her voice was stuck and uneven as her body tried to get accustomed to the new temperature, "I'm going to kill you," she nodded quickly but couldn't stop the laughter as she bounced in the water. If she were to stand the water would be at her chin so she opted to bouncing lightly off the rocks at the bottom of the lagoon and treading water as she laughed dangerously, her body still not used to the cold.

He watched, transfixed by her dark eyes as she dipped under the water and pushed back up again to move her long hair seamlessly from her fair skin. His laughter had faded but his smile was still wide, "no you won't," his eyes followed her as she floated toward him.

She hummed darkly as she gracefully came to his side, "oh you have no idea," she place her hands on either side of him on Roncinante's back and withers and slowly pushed herself up to nearly meet his eyes, her lower half still in the water, "what I am capable of," she whispered against his jaw.

Her slow movements had him in a trance, a trance that only strengthened as her voice became a dangerously low whisper. It made her seem dark and powerful, sending shivers down his spine but he didn't feel he would ever be in danger. It was a strange balance. His focus was pulled to her soft and parted pink lips when he lost her eyes in the process of them looking to his own mouth. He ignored the cool water that was soaking through to his skin from the wet fabric that clung to her. He was finding it hard to breathe, truthfully he was finding it impossible to breathe but when he moved in to close the distance between them he became confused.

He was suddenly broken from his trance by the bright eyes flashing up to his and the dark and childish grin that flashed white in front of him. It was too late, by the time he put the pieces together in his head he found himself falling into the water with her hands pulling him down. Her laughter was muffled by the cold water but when he pushed out he could hear its entirety, "you," he gasped and lifted his arms from the water at the shock of its temperature, "siren!"

Regina laughed victoriously at the title, not even pretending to be offended for the sake of the game. The look on his face was priceless, wide eyes, open mouth, water dripping from his short hair and down his sharp features as he stood in water that licked at his shoulders. When he turned his gaze toward her she ducked down into the water so that only her eyes could be seen while her shoulders continued to shake with laughter underneath the water.

Her eyes were laughing at him and he shook his head slowly as a playfully revengeful smile pulled at his lips. He pushed a large spray of water her way but she had completely submerged herself before it hit her and he waited with his bottom lip caught in his teeth in a plotting grin to try again when she resurfaced. She got him first. She jumped back out of the water in front of him and splashed him, the gasp catching in his throat as she did so.

He splashed her back and she couldn't help but think of how childish they looked as they laughed and splashed water at one another, trying to soak the other more than they could possibly get. Their splash match ended when they both lifted their arms to cover their laughing faces when Rocinante grew tired of getting splashed herself and pushed herself through the deep water with powerful strides that effectively soaked them both.

As she removed her arms and straightened her posture she was pulled in roughly by her waist and the air was partially pushed from her lungs with the force and before she could get it back his lips crashed against hers. With his help and the weightlessness the water lent her body she moved so that she was above him, her hands holding the nape of his neck as she angled herself to kiss down to him as her legs snaked around his waist to keep herself from falling back down.

Her lips were cold against his but they tasted no less sweet when he brushed his tongue over the cool flesh. There was no hesitance on either party as they deepened kiss and pulled each other closer. Her stomach was pressed against his chest and they were pushed harder with every breath and if not for their position in such deep water he would have moved to further things along but he had to resort to patience. It was a virtue that was fading away with every moment he spent with her wanting to have her fully.

Slowly their kiss came to a stop but neither one let go of the other and Regina kept her face close to his, "can we climb that waterfall?" Given their proximity she kept her voice down to an intimate whisper and ran her fingers slowly through his short wet hair. While her eyes remained focused on his lips her mind wandered to thoughts on what would happen if she were to allow herself to truly love him and let herself go in to his hands. Would it be worth the pain that would follow? Would she even be so fortunate to not have to suffer through such pain? What if she were to run away with him?

He smiled gently at the playful spirit in her, "yes," his chilled body filled with a new warmth when she smiled back down at him and captured his lips in a tender kiss.

...

Her shoes, being entirely soaked, had been thrown to the shore before they swam to the base of the waterfall and now her feet padded silently across the cold damp stone behind the curtain of water. It was not a large waterfall, the water was clear and it fell smoothly allowing for the green of the forest to be seen in a blur on the other side. Her attention was pulled from the interesting view by the sound of a hand smacking the wet stone, "there you are," she smirked and remained standing, not offering him a hand, "I thought you were never going to make it up here."

"Ha ha very funny," with a grunt he pulled himself up and sat on the ledge she stood on. He watched with a smile as she walked forward and parted the glassy curtain with her fingertips. It was peaceful. He didn't know what she was thinking about or if she was thinking of anything at all but had never seen her so tranquil before. It made him relax and lose himself in her as she moved closer to the water and the stone's edge.

His heart began to race as she turned to face him and let the water run over her shoulders and the clear liquid shone over the exposed skin of her neck and chest where it pooled in the valley between her breasts before falling and soaking the bodice that held her so tight. He watched with a warm smile as she laughed quietly and tilted her head back so the water ran around her face and she opened her arms to rest straight on either side of her.

The water felt nice, it lent her a feeling of freedom that she had been starved of for most of her life. She laughed because she could not express it any other way and she could not hold it in, not that she wanted to in the slightest. She closed her eyes and let the feeling fill her, "I love you," she breathed out the words calmly as she tilted her head back down to meet his eyes.

He cocked his head slowly and looked at her with a love she had only seen once. With Daniel. She felt like her heart was going burst with the flood of emotions that attacked her and threatened to make her cry with joy. Her smile only grew when he stood up and walked toward her, his kind blue eyes never looking away as he brought his hands up to hold her face.

His heart swelled in his chest and he shook his head ever so gently as he looked in to her dark eyes that had become glossed over with tears and ran his thumbs over her cheeks, "I love you," he listened to her shaky laughter for a moment before he silenced it with a kiss. His fingers tangled in her wet hair and often grazed the falling water behind her. He didn't care, he hardly even noticed, nothing else existed but her in that moment.

...

"You're still cold," he spoke softly and she rubbed her face deeper in to his neck.

She traced patterns over his chest with her left hand and let the smile dance on her lips, "I'm fine," she was more than fine. Being a little cold was at the very bottom of her priorities as she wiggled to get closer to the warmth he provided. She laid on her side with her head on his shoulder and his left arm wrapped closely around her waist. The grass was soft beneath them and the sun provided further warmth as she listened to the pleasant sounds of the waterfall and Rocinante grazing somewhere nearby.

James leaned his head to the side to rest it on top of hers and brought his right hand up to hers on his chest. She hummed quietly at the contact as he ran his fingers over hers, "why do you not wear your wedding ring?"

Regina watched him play with her fingers a little longer before she answered, "because that finger is supposed to be saved for the one you love," she enjoyed how he lingered over her ring finger and then intertwined his fingers in hers.

He smiled at her answer but it was tainted with sadness at the reminder that she was not happy and did not love her husband. Her ran his thumb softly over hers and kissed the top of her head before resting his back down and letting out a long and quiet sigh. They laid in a comfortable silence for a long time and he wondered if she had possibly fallen asleep until she cautiously moved so she was on top of him. She kneeled on the grass, straddling his lap and bent at the waist with her hands supporting her weight on his chest.

She was put at ease when his hands held her waist and his expression remained calm and open. Her eyes darted between his as she contemplated her decision before her lips parted and she lowered herself down and kissed him. She sat up willingly when he began to move underneath her but he didn't let her move far when his grip on her waist remained steady.

He pulled away to examine the bodice that was laced tight around her torso and pushed her breasts up making it nearly impossible not to stare at the delicate skin. They both watched his fingers with bated breath as they unthreaded the garment leaving only the damp white cotton blouse covering her chest. He barely suppressed a moan when he looked her over as his hands moved to the small buttons.

Because of the water the white fabric hand become translucent allowing him to see the slight pink hue of her nipples that were perked from the cold. He caught her lips in a kiss, desperate to keep his mind busy before he tore the fabric away from her body and sent the annoying buttons flying.

When his fingers opened the last button he pulled back quickly, leaving her dizzy and out of breath. When his mouth connected with the top of her neck her breath caught and she pushed her head to the side exposing more skin to him. Shivers coursed through her entire body when his large warm hands moved up her chilled sides underneath the damp fabric and up her shoulders to push it off as he lowered his mouth to her collar bone. She closed her eyes in pleasure, his hot mouth against her cold skin causing her heart to race and she dropped her arms behind her to allow him to push the clothing off her arms.

She gasped sharply at the swift and gently bite he delivered on the top of her breast but found she didn't mind the sensation and exhaled slowly when his tongue moved over the bite, soothing it and sending her off on a high. She had spent one evening with Leopold, just one, and neither found any pleasure in it. It was awful and neither made a move to do it again but what her shepherd was doing now had her savoring every movement.

She removed her hands from his arms and pulled his face up to meet hers where she paused and looked over his lustful expression before crashing her lips on to his. She kissed him with long and slow movements as her fingertips trailed down between them and found the hem of his shirt. Rather impatiently she tugged at it, pulling it up until she couldn't and he had to let go of her waist and pull away from her mouth to pull it off himself.

The moment he got his shirt over his head Regina was pressed up against him again with her hands holding his neck. Her skin was still cold but it was beginning to warm at his touch and he tossed his shirt away and moved his hands to her bare back. He pulled her down on top of him only to roll them over so she was underneath him and he ran his hands from her ribs to the waist of her skirt where he hooked his fingers and pulled it and her undergarments down her hips all the while muffling her moans as his tongue moved with hers.

He reveled in the short breaths she was taking when he moved his lips back to her neck and then her collar bone, his tongue darted out in the valley between her breasts and he smirked lightly when she pushed her chest closer. His hands slid to her hips and she raised a knee as he laid soft kisses down her stomach to her hip. Her body twitched visibly when he flicked his tongue over her clit and she bucked her hips in to him when he kissed her and ran his tongue over her, thoroughly enjoying the choked gasp and whimpers that were pushed from her.

Regina pushed her head back in pleasure and her fingers tore at the blades of grass around her. Her mouth remained open in partly silent screams and her eyes closed in long blinks as her heart pounded in her chest and her body started to shake, threatening to be pushed over. Her stamina was not what it used to be and she was overly sensitive making every flick of his hot tongue push her quickly to the edge where she teetered, fighting hard not to fall just yet.

When he slid his fingers inside her and pumped them back and forth while keeping his tongue moving over her clit she made her pleasure at the change known through louder moans as she pushed her head back hard in to the grass causing her back to arch off of the ground. Her body convulsed gently and her pleasured screams became harder to voice as her orgasm ripped through her and his movements continued as she rode it out.

He ran his hands heavily up her sides, his mouth hovering over her body, his lips would brush against her fair skin with every labored breath she took. A smile played on his mouth when he caught sight of her parted lips and her darkened eyes and her long hair tousled in damp curls. Her skin was warm now as he lowered himself down so they laid flush with each other and caught her top lip between his in a soft kiss.

She kissed him back but only halfheartedly for she was still caught in a blissful state. Slowly she came back, she became aware of his hand holding the nape of her neck, she became aware that his breathing was just as heavy as hers, and to her excitement she became aware of how hard he was against her pelvis. She smirked and taunted him with an open mouth as he he did the same.

She dragged her fingers down his torso, greatly appreciating how her fingers bent to accommodate the muscled body of her shepherd. When she reached the waist of his pants she began pulling them down but she stopped to run her hand firmly over his length which resulted in a moan that came from deep in his throat.

With a firm kiss he moved off of her to remove his pants and she remained laying on her back patiently waiting for him to return. He did not however and instead she found herself quite suddenly on her knees with her back pressed against his chest and a hand on her hip holding her steady. Her head spun with the sudden movement but it was all forgotten when he guided himself slowly in to her, letting her adjust.

She pushed her head in to the side of his neck and closed her eyes tight as a soft whimper escaped her parted lips. He kissed her neck and shoulder as he began to move in and out of her causing her chest to heave with labored breaths and her stomach to tighten with warmth.

Gradually his thrusts became faster and more powerful, his hands slid from her hips to hold both her breasts and he pulled her closer in to him. Her body wanted to curl in to itself at the amount of orgasmic pleasure but his strong arms held her upright and open to steady rhythm that caused her to cry out as she prolonged her release until she met a point where she no longer could.

The kisses he had been giving her had faded in to hot and heavy breaths over her skin as he rested his head against hers. She was starting to lose control over her body, her breasts pushed harder in to his hands with every uneven breath and her erotic screams and moans were only pushing him closer to his release.

"Don't stop," she whispered through a tight breath before another string audible gasps and moans were pushed from her.

It was an entirely pointless request but it made him more determined than ever to get her to scream his name. He let go of her right breast and slid his hand over her stomach and down to her clit where he started to rub her in small circles. He managed a kiss on her neck as she hissed at the added sensation of his fingers rubbing the sensitive nerves and the pace of his thrusting increased at the sound.

He had pushed her right to the edge and she didn't know how much longer she'd last. She clenched her teeth together in a final attempt to keep herself from going over but quite suddenly the pressure of his fingers increased substantially, "J-ames," she screamed his name through her powerful orgasm and once again his hand kept her from curling in to herself so instead she leaned hard against him.

Her body shook and her broken screams of pleasure continued as he kept himself from finishing just yet. He kept his fingers moving over her clit and his thrusts continued as he brought her to her absolute maximum. After a particularly long scream he could hold on no more and his own voice was heard in deep groans as he continued to move inside her, slower now as he brought both of them down.

Her breath was shaky and labored and her heart thundered erratically in her chest as her body quivered in the aftermath. She rolled her head back to rest on his shoulder and found that his state did not differ much from her own, his hot breath panting against her neck. When he removed himself from in her she turned around to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him.

Their lips moved in tired and rather clumsy movements as they tried to catch their breath and compose themselves. It was Regina who pulled away first and she smiled at him, a smile he returned before she rested her head on his chest and letting him pull her down to lay with him on the grass. He wrapped his arms around her bare frame and her hands laid open against his chest on either side of her head.

She left a lingering kiss on his chest before she laughed lightly and nuzzled her face in to his chest, "I love you."

He smiled when his heart skipped happily at her words, "I love you too," he rubbed her back gently as a long and loving hum was heard from her closed lips.

...

Ruth sat at the table in her small home as she fidgeted with her fingers wondering where her son could be that kept him gone for so long. She had hoped he was with Regina but she hadn't seen the girl in so long she didn't know what had happened to her. The sun was starting to set and the sky was painted brightly in variations of pinks and oranges, the two were always back before sunset.

At the sound of voices, Ruth stood and walked outside only to find that the pair were closer than the volume of their voices had lead her to believe. They were nearly at the house, walking side by side with the horse following close behind. They hadn't even noticed her presence yet, they were caught up in an intimate conversation that caused them to smile and Regina pushed her forehead against her son's chest as she smiled and he looked down at her with such love that it could be seen even in the fading light.

Ruth remained silent as she watched the couple with her head cocked and a smile over her face. Their fingers were intertwined and she felt the warmth flood her body when she saw how James ran his thumb over the back of her hand. She had never seen him so happy, it made her eyes well up with tears.

"Ruth," Regina smiled at the older woman in a warm greeting but it faded and her voice became thick with concern when they got closer and she could see the tears in her eyes, "are you alright?"

Ruth shook her head and sniffed back the tears, "oh yes I'm fine, dear. Just a mother who is happy for her son and his girl," she could see that the poor girl still wasn't accustomed to her behavior. She laughed softly and opened her arms, gesturing for her to come in to them.

Regina smiled as she walked forward and cocked her head for a moment before straightening it and wrapping her arms around the woman. Her hold was gentle and unsure at first but it soon grew tighter and she tilted her head down to rest on her shoulder and closed her eyes.

Ruth rested her head against hers and rubbed her back reassuringly, "he loves you more than anything you know. Don't forget that."

She smiled at her gentle whisper and lifted her head and moved back only enough to see her face, "I love him too," she nodded and her smile grew into a quiet laugh as Ruth's face brightened with a great excitement. Her laughter could be heard again when Ruth brought her hands to her face and affectionately ran her thumbs over her cheeks.

"You precious little thing you! Seeing you two together makes me so happy," she smiled and removed her hands from Regina's laughing face, "now you had best be going before you can't talk yourself out of trouble," she dipped her head down and tucked her chin in knowingly but didn't hide the warm smile that accompanied the gesture.

Regina nodded and looked to the ground before meeting Ruth's eyes once again, "yes I suppose I should," she gave her one last smile as she nodded her goodbye and turned to walk back to James. Rocinante stood behind him and his arm was outstretched toward her with the reins in his hand, "thank you," she nodded and took the leather from his hands. She raised herself to her tiptoes and rested her hands on his chest as she kissed him goodbye.

It was a simple and chaste kiss that lingered on his lips but it didn't make it any less easier to watch her leave again. He smiled warmly as she pushed her hair behind her ear, "I will see you soon."

"Definitely," she grinned and put the reins back over Rocinante's head before she stood next to her and let James boost her up. His hand remained on her leg until she asked her mare forward and his hand slipped away. She glanced at him and his mother over her shoulder before she picked up a canter and rode off.

Ruth walked up to her son and stood right next to him, a knowing grin plastered on her face as she chuckled through closed lips, "seems you two made quite a bit of progress today."

"How do you mean?" He looked down at his mother and the smug look on her face told him everything, "oh I uh...we were just, um, we got wet, no I mean!" He shook his head and pushed his eyes shut as his mother laughed lowly beside him, "we went swimming."

"Ah yes I'm sure it started out that way," she laughed and patted his shoulder, entirely amused at how his head hung in an embarrassed defeat, "you can't fool me, dear," she chuckled and gave his shoulder a small push before turning and walking back to the small house.

...

It was dark by the time Regina made it back to the palace. Her eyes and ears were trained on any sound or movement that would alert her of any danger of getting caught on her way to the stables. She walked silently while her mares hooves clopped against the cobblestone as they neared the door to the stable.

They entered successfully and Regina closed he door behind them before taking a deep breath and walking Rocinante to her stall and removing the bridle. As she hung the bridle with the many others, she contemplated whether or not she even wanted to go to her bed. She stared at the door for a long while before she looked over the simple dress she wore and then over to Rocinante's stall.

Her day couldn't have been any better and she wanted to pretend a little longer so that her perfect day would not be tampered with by going in to the castle and playing the role of queen. Instead of changing her clothes she left the simple dress alone and walked back in to her mare's stall and kindly instructed her to lie down.

Once she had, Regina slowly dropped to her hands and knees and crawled up to Rocinante and laid down next to her, her head resting on her neck. She didn't want to be queen and she hadn't been for almost the entire day, she had been allowed to be her true self and she wanted to end her day in that way rather than ending it by being queen. It didn't take long before sleep overwhelmed her but before it did she buried her face in to Rocinante's brown fur and smiled as the face of her shepherd flashed behind her eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**I apologize for the long wait! I got distracted writing parts of future chapters ;) there's going to be a lot of emotions being thrown around in those ones! This one is pretty relaxed though so no need to get anxious just yet ;) Enjoy!**

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"Regina?"

The gentle voice had her lifting her head, not expecting to hear him seeing as how they hadn't really spoken since their argument. She didn't stand though. She remained sitting against the wall with her legs tucked beside her in the straw with Rocinante's large head on her lap. Her thumb moved over the soft fur on her cheek as she remained silent and waited for him to show himself.

He walked directly to her mare's stall when he noticed that the simple horse's head was not hanging out to greet him like she always had. He looked over the door to find Regina looking directly at him with an entirely open expression, "you didn't come to dinner last night nor breakfast this morning. Are you alright?"

"Yes I'm fine," she smiled simply at him.

He was almost happy that he had found her in the stable, she was always more relaxed and easier to talk to when she was with her horse, more willing to talk to him, "I thought you may be hungry," he opened the stall door and closed it behind him. She watched him innocently as he walked toward her and lowered himself to sit a friendly distance beside her. Once seated he offered her a small freshly baked loaf of bread and an apple.

She took the food with a curt but friendly nod, "thank you," she had hoped he would leave her in peace but judging by how he sat next to her that wasn't going to be the case. She avoided eye contact with him, using the excuse of carefully tearing a piece of bread from the loaf to its full extent.

He couldn't help the small smile that pulled at the corner of his mouth when she absentmindedly placed the apple on Rocinante's cheek so she could use both hands to tear the bread, careful to keep any crumbs from falling in her mare's eye. The horse didn't move and Regina clearly thought nothing of the act but he found it to be amusing. It was then that he came to realize that she was not wearing one of her many gowns but instead a simple linen frock laced tightly around her torso.

She was just as beautiful as when she wore any other gown made of the finest fabric but he did not quite understand why she chose to wear such a thing. Dirtying one of her gowns wouldn't have been an issue, "what have you been doing that kept you away so long?"

Regina paused for a moment and finished tearing the end from the loaf. She cocked her head and lifted the apple from Rocinante's face so it would not fall when she chewed. Once lifted she placed the heel of the loaf under her muzzle and smiled when she eagerly took it, "forgetting," her smile faded instantly and she watched the muscles move in Rocinante's jaw as she chewed.

It was an answer he found rather distressing, he was aware she wasn't happy at the palace but to hide away for nearly an entire twenty four hours in a commoners gown to pretend she was somewhere else meant she was more than unhappy, "why is it you come here so often?"

"She is my only friend," she answered without hesitating and looked up to meet his eyes for a moment before looking back down, "the only one I'm allowed to see anyway...she will listen to me no matter what I have to say. I've had her for most of my life," she placed the apple back down on her cheek as she had finished chewing and ran her hand down her face, "she knows all of my worries, all of my desires, and all of my secrets and I never have to worry about her telling a soul. She knows me inside and out just as I do her."

"Why don't you talk to me?"

Regina's features remained unchanging as her hand ran gently over Rocinante's eye as she closed it, "why don't _you_ talk to _me_?" She countered with the same question and it effectively silenced him as she knew it would. Perhaps things may have been different if they had confided in each other, perhaps she wouldn't have become so dark if they had talked.

But how could she have? His daughter was the source of much of her pain and she couldn't just tell him that. She didn't want to explain that to Snow either, she didn't want her to have that guilt but maybe if she were to tell her she could finally get some closure...she didn't think she had it in her to tell her, not without breaking down herself. She tore a small piece off the loaf, "did you need something?" She placed the piece in her mouth and kept her eyes down on her fingers as she picked at the bread.

"Yes I came here to apologize Regina," he turned his body slightly so he could look at her and he waited until she met his eyes however unwillingly, "for striking you. I didn't mean to do such a harmful thing. I don't know what came over me."

She knew he was genuine in his apology but she didn't smile nor did she accept it, "it wasn't entirely uncalled for. I purposely pushed you, I just pushed a little too far," she pushed another piece of bread past her lips.

"That doesn't make it okay."

She shook her head quickly and swallowed as her brow creased, "no it certainly doesn't. We are both at fault here, that's all I'm saying."

He nodded slowly and thoughtfully, yes they both were at fault, him with his loss of control and her with her secret companion, "why would you push me in such a way?"

She finished chewing and swallowed again, "because you were angry. I've been angry for all of these years and it was a refreshing change to see you angry as well. It's just not natural for a human to be so calm all the time. I was tired of being the only one that was ever angry in this place...it may not make sense to you but I found relief in seeing someone just as angry as I was even if that anger was directed at me."

He watched her pick at her bread in silence as he tried to understand. He found the motives behind the actions of any woman to be rather hard to understand at times let alone those of an unhappy and angry woman. He supposed he could sort of grasp where she was coming from but he didn't know how far it went, "you didn't seek out this man did you?"

She snapped her head up to him, "what? No! I would never do something that spiteful."

"I'm only trying to understand what your relationship with this man is, Regina," her face remained guarded and expressionless as she pulled another piece of the diminishing loaf in to her mouth and kept her eyes down. She wasn't going to give him anything, "if I were to guarantee his safety?"

Regina breathed out a quiet and entirely humorless laugh as she moved a piece of bread around as she answered, "safety? And where is this _safety_ that you wish to take him to? No," she shook her head slowly, "I have been hurt and fooled far too many times to not read in to the vague suggestions of a deal."

He hadn't meant it like that but he'd be lying if he said he wouldn't have used that little out if he so desired, "a promise then."

She gave him an unimpressed look before she began removing the soft inside of the loaf with her fingers, "in case you haven't noticed promises aren't kept. There are only a small handful of people whose promises I would trust would be kept and I am not so sorry to say that you are not included in that handful."

"You're not going to give me anything on this man?"

"No," she answered simply and put the soft middle of the bread in her mouth and took the apple once again to give Rocinante the other end of the loaf.

There was no point in arguing, not when they were outside of the palace where everyone could hear. Besides he didn't want a repeat. He didn't know what had happened in his chambers when he had confronted her the first time but she did. The glass took a long time to be removed and he was still finding shards of broken glass on the stone floor. Surely it wasn't magic, she didn't seem like the type.

"I didn't mean to take so long to apologize. I was making my way to your chambers not too much long after you had left but Snow stopped me."

Her curiosity was peaked, "what did she say?" She kept her eyes down and she took a bite of the apple.

"She was absolutely furious. Like me, she could not believe I had done such a harmful thing to you...I have never seen her so angry. She pleaded your case and told me, yelled at me really, that I shouldn't even dare to see you."

"Smart girl," she dead panned and took another bite of her apple.

He furrowed his brow at her reply, not quite sure what to make of it. Her tone gave nothing away and neither did her expression. He wasn't sure he wanted to go down that road so he let it go, "she does care for you Regina. She never would have stood up to me like that if she didn't think it was important."

"Hmm," she raised her eyebrows slightly and hummed shortly without giving away the turmoil inside her. She owed Snow nothing for what she had done but that didn't mean she wasn't grateful and a little impressed with what she had done. She was still nowhere near forgiveness and as far as she could be from gaining her trust back, "I never said I didn't care for her."

...

"What do you think it would be like to live there?"

"In the palace?"

"Yeah. I think it would be nice. I mean you wouldn't have to worry about anything, you could have something different to eat everyday, the clothes wouldn't be so bad either," he tucked his forehead playfully in to the side of hers causing her to laugh.

His stubble tickled her skin and she tucked her chin in to get her neck away from his jaw as she scrunched her face and laughed softly though her teeth. He continued burying his face deeper to her neck, purposefully because he knew it made her laugh, "stop! Stop!" She pushed her hands on his chest to try and get away but he held her close with his hands on her waist.

"But I love to hear you laugh," he grinned as he pulled his head back and stole a kiss from her smiling pink lips. When they parted he smiled back at her and pulled her in closer as she nuzzled herself tight against him.

They laid on their backs on a hillside looking at her home not far off in the distance only she didn't like to call it home. It was the place she stayed it wasn't home it was just a building. Home is a place where something flourishes, where they are happy and well taken care of. She had found a home in the arms of her shepherd and in the kind words of his mother. That was her home.

He smiled when she rested her head heavier on his shoulder and took his right hand in both of hers. He held his left on her hip and tilted his head so it rested once again against hers, "what do you think it would be like to live there?"

She played with his fingers absentmindedly, enjoying how they bent at her touch. She didn't look toward the palace for she had seen enough of it, "I think it would be lonely."

"How so?"

"It would feel like you were trapped, unable to do what you truly wanted because of the expectations the rest of the world forced upon you. I suppose it would have its perks but would those really outweigh your freedom?"

It was great food for thought. He had never thought of it like that before. He had always envisioned it to be a place of joy and celebration not lonely and binding. He could see it happening however if surrounded by a specific type of people, "I think you would make an excellent queen."

She smiled a wide smile at his comment, fully aware that he couldn't see it, "being queen is overrated. It's just a title."

"A title that holds a lot of power."

"I don't want power."

"No?"

"No," she answered simply as she took care in intertwining her fingers in his. His calloused hands were much larger than her slim and delicate hands, it made her smile. The complete contrast of the lives they led and yet they fit so perfectly together. She studied them, taking in every detail, every bend and every line so that she could look back on them and remember the feeling that came with them.

"What do you want?"

She took a moment to answer. Not because she didn't have an answer but because it had been so long since someone asked and even longer since they had asked without pushing her in the direction they wanted her to go. She took a deep breath and softly breathed out her answer, "I want to be free."

His face became tainted with a quiet sadness for her. Freedom was not a lot to ask for. He sighed and tightened his arm around her and let his gaze fall to their hands, "there's nothing else you want?"

She sounded quite distant in her reply, "I have everything else," she was recalling a similar conversation that took place many years ago between her and her mother. She liked this version better.

He smiled gently at first but it slowly faded when she remained silent and he was allowed to register the emptiness her words held. She didn't want everything else. He furrowed his brow and opened his mouth to speak but closed it again when she rolled on to her side so her front pressed closely against his side. She exhaled slowly as she nuzzled her face deeper in to his shoulder, "what is it, love?"

She smiled a small smile, just a corner of her mouth before it disappeared in to a frown. She untangled her fingers from his and laid her hand flat against his chest, warmed at how he laid his on top of hers, letting his fingers curl to hold her hand, "I don't want to be alone again. I can't lose my shepherd too."

He pulled his arm around her tighter and softly kissed the top of her head, "I won't leave you alone, Regina," he rested his forehead against the side of her head and tilted his head downward so his mouth was closer to her ear, "I promise I will always be here for you."

"Is that really a promise?"

"Yes that is really a promise."

Regina relaxed fully against him, almost surprised by how easily she let herself believe him. She didn't feel the need to be wary with his promise or try and prepare herself for when he would break it just like every other promise anyone had made her. She believed with all her heart that he would keep his promise and that was such a relief to her, "thank you."


	10. Chapter 10

**Alright you loyal followers I'm sorry I had to do this but unfortunately things can't stay happy forever :( I will make it better but it is going to get worse before it gets better and I'm only a little sorry for that ;) reviews are greatly appreciated! Seriously it's like I live off of them hahaha :) **

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Regina walked up on Rocinante behind Ruth. She was hunched over and unsettlingly still, if she wasn't standing on her own two feet Regina would have been worried she had passed out or even died, "Ruth?" She jumped slightly, startled when the older woman whipped around with wide eyes.

"Regina," she whispered but her feet still remained stuck to the ground. She brought a hand to her mouth and willed herself to move forward, "Regina I need you to ride Rocinante like you've never ridden before," she pushed on the mare's chest and she obediently backed up.

"What? Why?" The stern emptiness to her voice was making her nervous and the way she pushed her backwards was more than concerning.

Ruth ignored the questions, "you need to run, and when I say run I mean run, down and take the trail down at the west side of the clearing," she continued to push the horse backward, "you know the one?"

"Yes I do but Ruth-"

"Run Regina!" Her voice was demanding and she was certain the urgency was written all over her. Regina instantly clamped her mouth shut and spun Rocinante back around and took off in a full gallop toward the trail, "oh god please let her make it in time."

...

Rumplestiltskin walked with a skip in his step, the shepherd trailing behind him with shoulders hunched. He could have quite easily transported them to the king's castle but he knew Regina would turn up soon and he was not entirely a heartless man contrary to popular belief. He would allow her to say goodbye to her lover. He hadn't the chance to say goodbye to his son. Besides, a little twinge of false hope would be a welcome addition in the process of bringing her back down to him.

As though on cue he heard the distant sound of furious hoof beats and he pivoted around in a smooth gliding motion with a quiet shrill laugh through closed lips. He stood still with his hands out at his sides and grinned at the confused shepherd, "you may want to prepare yourself," he pointed at the man and then looked over his shoulder, "you're about to see a different side of her. She's not going to be too pleased with me," another shrill laugh escaped his teeth.

James furrowed his brow in confusion and turned around to try and see what the imp was looking at. Nothing was there and he glanced back at the strange man before he turned back to the entry of the trail. Regina came racing around the corner on Rocinante and he smiled and exhaled in relief. She caught his eyes for a moment but didn't slow Rocinante's pace.

Rocinante kept galloping but once she reached them she slid off quite gracefully and landed on her feet. He could see she was beyond furious. She landed and walked right past him and right up to the Dark One. He instantly feared for her safety but she was not the slightest bit scared of the man. If you were to call him that.

"Where are you taking him?!" She demanded angrily, stepping well within his personal space.

"Hello Regina it's nice to see you too," he grinned and held his ground, "I think I like this look on you! So different than what you usually wear."

"Where are you taking him Rumple?!" Her voice had quieted but it was no less venomous or demanding.

He shot her a toothy grin and cocked his head, "he is a vital part of a deal that needs maintaining and as you know I never break a deal!" His voice rose and fell through many different tones and volumes.

"Then find a loop hole," she tilted her head aggressively and the words slipped easily from her tongue, "there always is one with you."

"Yes indeed there is! But not one for this particular situation," he flicked his eyes to the still confused shepherd and then back to Regina, "besides! I'm sure in doing this I'm saving you a lot of trouble at home aren't I dearie."

Regina shifted her weight and gave him a dark smile, "you're not saving me any trouble and you know that."

"Sure I am! Or do I need to remind you of what happened when your dear husband found out about this shepherd," he brought the back of his fingers to caress the cheek Leopold had hit. She didn't even blink but the shepherd behind her looked like he was ready to tear his head off if he continued. He smirked at his pretty little monster, "imagine what would happen to you if he were to find out you had continued against his direct order for you to stay put."

Regina forcefully swatted his hand away, "yes because you're doing this with my best interest in mind," she was closer to him now, angry, their bodies nearly touching.

"If this modification to the deal so happens to work toward your best interest in the process then so be it," he almost mocked her, he wanted to push her, perhaps she would lose her temper once more and her world would come tumbling down by her own doing, "nevertheless I'm keeping the beautiful wife of Le-"

"Do _not_ speak his name!" She yelled at him, her fists clenched at her sides.

"Regina, Regina, temper, temper," he tisked but the grin never left.

Had she gone mad? He watched in disbelief as she viciously confronted Rumplestiltskin without batting an eye. She stood well within his personal space, her tone and posture aggressive and authoritative. Perhaps she had a death wish? Surely she had to know what he was capable of and yet she only became more aggressive.

What he didn't quite understand why Rumplestiltskin hadn't hurt her yet. For someone who claimed she didn't want power certainly had a lot of it if she was able to keep him rather at bay. His stomach twisted and he clenched his jaw when he brought a hand softly to her face. She was his, she wasn't the imp's and he wanted to make it known but she swatted his hand away before he could open his mouth.

He didn't want to think on the implication the imp had put in his mind of Regina getting hurt if she were to continue with him but he couldn't stop himself. Images of her cringing and falling to the ground, the possibility of blood and tears, filled his mind and it made him angry. He had gotten the impression that he would never hurt her but he had snapped once who's to say it wouldn't happen again?

It was like they had forgotten he was there despite the fact that their heated conversation was about him. He was waiting for things to explode and for her to get hurt in the process of Rumplestiltskin losing his temper on her. He watched every detail, heard every word, analyzed every tone the pair used and he honestly couldn't tell if she was brave or foolish for confronting him in such an angry manner.

With the way she yelled at him about her husband's name he was certain he was going to retaliate but once again he remained standing still. He had never heard such demanding rage enter her voice before. Quite frankly it startled him.

Rumplestiltskin looked over the furious and rather nervous brunette with a dark grin, "I will allow you to say your goodbyes," he leaned back slightly to get around the queen. He walked a couple strides toward James and then spun on his heel to face Regina and pointed over his shoulder, "I will be taking him though."

"You bastard," she snarled at him and quickly looked him up and down. He offered a wide grin and then disappeared in a cloud of deep red smoke.

James jumped slightly at the sudden cloud but when it disappeared the anger was but a small flicker in Regina's eyes. It was replaced with worry, sadness, and more than a touch of fear. They stood standing still and silent for a few seconds before she began to move toward him, nearly breaking in to a jog, "Regina what was that? What were you-"

She cut him off with a desperate kiss, pulling herself up to him and him down to her with her hands on his face. His arms wrapped around her and held her so tightly she almost couldn't breathe when she was forced to remove her mouth from his for air. Her heart started to ache in her chest and she wanted to cry but she could cry later. She could cry when he was gone.

He didn't want to believe that this could very well be the last time he would kiss her. He tried to memorize everything. The way her soft hands gripped his face, the way her lips moved firmly against his, the sweet taste of her tongue when it slipped past his lips, how she smelled when she was so close, and the warmth of her body pressed against his. She pulled away from him but the instant her lips left his her face was buried deep in his neck and her arms wrapped like a vice around him.

He craned his head in to hers and slid his hands up so one held her head close and the other held the middle of her back. Her hands balled in to tight fists pulling at his shirt and he closed his eyes tightly and spoke gently in to her dark hair, "Regina I promised I wouldn't leave you alone," he swallowed back the tears when she started to shake in his arms, "and I plan to keep that promise."

"How?" She drew out the word sadly.

It felt like he was being stabbed in the heart over and over again, "I will be back. In a month or so I'll have finished this task the kings have planned for me and I will come back to you."

"How do you know that? Do you even know what they are asking you to do? What if you die?" She struggled to keep her voice even as the fear of truly losing him forever like she had Daniel started to soak in.

He rubbed her back slowly and shook his head softly against hers, "no I don't know. But I'm not going to die, I will come back."

"But you don't know that James."

The despair in her voice was causing his throat to tighten and he dropped both his hands to her waist and pushed her gently off of him. He could feel how reluctant she was to let go but she did and he moved his hands to hold her face and she placed her hands over his. He cocked his head and tried to smile but he knew it wasn't coming across very strong, "I do know that Regina."

His strong calloused hand were warm and steady on the sides of her face and she made work of committing his face to memory. It was difficult though, her eyes kept falling back to the warm blue that looked back at her. She had never seen such a blue before. It was almost as though it changed every time she saw him. How she was going to manage being alone again after having someone so close she did not know. She didn't want to think about it.

Her dark eyes were glossed over with tears and he wished he could take her fear away, "have faith my precious girl, I will find you again," he knew that was a lot to ask. Trust was a difficult thing for her to find and faith was an even more trying concept. The doubt was clear on her face but in all of that doubt there was a flicker of hope and hope was a powerful thing.

He took a small step forward so their bodies were touching once again and he leaned in and closed the small distance between them. His hands slid back so that his fingers could bend around to the nape of her neck and her hands gripped his biceps. This kiss was slower than the first as they both wanted to savor the contact before it was gone.

After one last long synchronized movement he pulled away, chest tightening painfully when she followed him wanting more, "I love you and I always will," he ran his thumb over her cheek and he was just far enough away from her for his eyes to focus on hers. They swirled with seemingly every emotion possible but the most prominent was the worry and pain.

"I love you too," she forced the words out through the feeling of her heart being crushed. She meant it, she meant it with all her being.

"Time's up!" Neither one looked his way and neither one even flinched at his sudden presence. Almost a little disappointing.

Slowly he trailed his hands from her face and down her arms as he stepped backwards towards Rumplestiltskin, never once breaking eye contact. He stopped when he reached her hands and they hung gently between the two of them, "goodbye," it hit her hard, he could see the way she stopped herself from flinching despite his gentle tone.

"Goodbye," she whispered sadly and watched the deep red smoke obscure him. Then her hands were empty. The space around her was eerily quiet and still, as though no life was there at all. She stumbled backward a few steps and tried to catch her breath, placing a hand on her stomach in a hopeless attempt to stop the way it was churning within her.

Finally she let the tears fall down her cheeks and near silent cries shook her shoulders gently.

...

"Regina," she whispered sadly as she walked slowly seeming to have the weight of the world coming down on her, "please tell me you had enough time to say goodbye."

Regina nodded silently, keeping her eyes on the ground and her fingers hanging on the reins resting around Rocinante's neck. She was having a hard time accepting she wasn't going to see him again for a long time, "I think I need to sit down," as she began to lower herself to the grass Ruth took a few steps toward her and put her hands on her sides to balance her.

"Whoa slow down, dear," she caught her gently and guided her down and sat next to her. Regina kept her head bowed to look at her still fingers resting limply in her lap. Her mouth was set in a troubled frown and her eyebrows slowly knitted together as she lost herself in thought. She looked like she didn't even know where to start.

"Why do you think it is that the people I love keep getting taken from me?"

She didn't have an answer. There was no answer for such a question from such a loving girl. She put a hand on her knee in an act of comfort, "do you want to talk about him?"

"Who?"

"Anyone."

Regina's shoulders slumped and sadness pulled on her features as she turned her head to look over to Ruth. How she still managed a smile after her son had just been taken she had no idea, "I'm sorry you lost your son Ruth."

She swallowed back the lump in her throat but she could manage barely more than a whisper, "he's not lost dear," she blinked back her tears and shook her head all without pulling her eyes from Regina's, "he will come back, all three of us are just temporarily inconvenienced."

"You really believe that?"

Ruth nodded and cocked her head, "you don't?"

"I want to," Regina forced a sad small but it quickly disappeared, "but I've known Rumplestiltskin for a long time and I know that there is always something more with him and his deals," she dropped her eyes back down to her hands as she quietly fiddled with her fingers.

"I know that now," Ruth agreed and nodded slowly. She had regretted giving up her other son the instant he left her arms and now the other was gone as well. If she had known that in time both of them would be taken she would have never agreed. A sudden concerning realization came to her and she ducked her head and tried to catch Regina's eye, "what do you mean you have known him for a long time?"

She went very still and her eyes looked up at something off in front of her but her head remained tilted down. It was like she had given up something that she really shouldn't have and now she was struggling to find a way out. Ruth didn't want her to be in the hands of the Dark One.

Slowly she tilted her head sideways before turning to look at Ruth, "I really don't want to talk about that," it was almost a plea for her not to push for answers and she softened her face accordingly. The concern in Ruth's expression did not go unnoticed and it was rightfully there but she didn't want to talk about the things she had done under his instruction. She wished she was able to forget at least half.

"Alright," she agreed reluctantly and gave Regina's knee a squeeze.

"Thank you," she whispered gratefully and gave her a weak smile before straightening her neck to watch Rocinante graze in front of them. She was perfectly content and practically unaffected but James' leave. Regina wondered what it would be like to trade places with her just for a little while. She'd be able to run away and bound happily through the fields and forests without a care in the world, a very welcome relief to the throbbing pain she was feeling now.

"Have you ever been in love?" She asked curiously and looked back up at Ruth who wore a heart lifting smile.

"Yes," she nodded and was encouraged to continue when Regina gave her her full attention, "my husband was quite the romantic once he got me," she smiled and shook her head teasingly, "it took me a long time to give him a chance and when I did he screwed up royally and then he wouldn't leave me alone until I gave him a second chance," she chuckled lightly, "he practically begged me."

She smiled fondly at the memories and when she looked at Regina she was happy to see the stress straining her body had lifted and was replaced with a smile as she listened attentively. Ruth shook her head, "the very second I agreed to give him a second chance he gave me the widest most excited smile and then he leaped forward and pulled me in to a kiss. I couldn't help myself, I kissed the idiot back and there was no turning back. We never left each other's side after that."

Regina's smile widened to show her teeth and the corners of her eyes creased because of it. She could picture it clearly and it made her laugh quietly, "and where is this Mr. Ruth? What happened to him?"

"The bastard gave out on me and left me to run his damn farm," she laughed and shook her head, "but he's still with me," she lifted her left hand, "I've never taken it off."

Regina's heart swelled with a combination of happiness and sadness at the sight of the ring. She knew exactly what that ring meant to Ruth.

Ruth sighed quietly at the ring and then put her hand back in her lap, "what about you, dear? My son has told me that you loved someone once."

She nodded stiffly and pushed her lips together in a small smile, "his name was Daniel. Years ago he was our stableboy. I had just turned eighteen when he was brought in to work for us and there was something there between us instantly, a little spark," she brought her hand up and brought her pointer finger and thumb close together to indicate a small amount.

"I already knew how to ride very well but I took lessons from him anyway, there's always more to learn and we would have the greatest time together. He would have me forgetting about how unhappy I was with just one look. When my mother wasn't around we would tease and flirt all the time. I remember our first kiss like it happened yesterday. We were in the stables and it was dark and as I was leaving I said some smart ass comment and then turned and started walking out to get home. Well, he called my name and when I turned around he was right in front of me and I nearly jumped out of my skin and for a second I panicked, scared of what could happen but when his hands held my face I relaxed instantly and when he kissed me it felt like everything was right and that nothing could bring us apart."

"What did?" Her joyous smile faded and her brow creased with sorrow.

"After nearly a year of stealing kisses and riding away to be alone together we got in to a little bit of a disagreement about telling my parents about us. Well telling my mother really, I'm sure my father knew, but my mother...she pushed for excellence and so help you if you stepped off the path she laid for you. He believed she would get over it because of her background but I knew better. I ended up saving the life of a young girl on a runaway horse and we never really did get to finish talking about it. Turns out that girl was the daughter of a very powerful man," she cocked her head and pressed her lips in an unfortunate line and raised her eyebrows slightly.

Ruth could see where her story was going and she could already feel her stomach twisting uncomfortably. What she didn't know was how truly cruel the ending was.

"That man asked for my hand and my mother accepted for me. I was devastated. That same night I ran to the stables and asked Daniel to marry me and we could run away and we could be happy and we could be together. I told him of the girl and he said I deserved to have that life, that life with a stableboy was a far cry from life as a-" she paused and cleared her throat gently, "I disagreed and assured him that I didn't want that life. He agreed finally and he turned and pulled a metal ring from a saddle and he slid it on to my finger, it fit perfectly," she smiled happily and tears started to blur her vision, both from the happiness of that memory and the pain of the following.

Quickly she wiped an escaped tear and dropped her hand back into her lap, "I was so happy but when we kissed the little girl saw us and ran off. I chased her down and explained to her that I did not want to marry her father. She didn't understand why so I explained to her that I loved Daniel and that true love is magic and that it is even the most powerful magic of all. She was star struck and she believed we should tell everyone but I had her promise not to tell anyone and especially not my mother."

Regina went very still and the words came out cold, "but she did."

There was a long pause before she came back from her thoughts and Ruth wondered if she would hear the end of her tale. She was about to question her but she started speaking again and Ruth sat quietly.

"The next night Daniel and I were ready to run. We didn't even make it out the door," the tears started to slowly trail down her cheeks and she made no effort to stop them or wipe them away, "my mother stood just outside the stable and tossed us back in, slamming the doors on either end shut. Needless to say she was not happy. We stood our ground and pleaded our case telling her that there was nothing she could do as long as we were together. We were right. There was nothing she could do as long as we were together. Looking back on it now it was so clear I don't know how I didn't see it."

"She changed her approach and claimed she would let us go and be together, I guess I was so relieved I didn't think to look for the danger that always followed her actions. She pulled Daniel aside to talk to him and everything was fine, I believed that finally everything was going to be okay...then her hand was in his chest and she ripped his heart out," she pushed her eyes shut to try and push the image away, "he collapsed to the ground and I ran to him but there was nothing I could do, my mother had crushed his heart to dust. Not even true love's kiss can wake up the dead."

Ruth had a hand over her mouth and she looked at Regina with wide and disbelieving eyes. She had no words, she was still trying to soak it all in.

Regina avoided eye contact and she looked down at her hands as her tears landed in droplets on the backs of them, "I still have the ring. I wear it on my finger when I'm alone or on a chain around my neck when I'm not. I miss him so much."

Finally finding her voice, Ruth dropped her hand from her mouth, "Regina I'm sorry I asked, I didn't mean for you to walk through that again."

"No, please don't say you're sorry," she quickly responded and shook her head as she looked at Ruth, "I haven't told anyone that story, you have no idea what a relief it is for someone else to know it."

"You mean you haven't told a single person what had happened?" She stared at her incredulously.

Regina shrugged and sniffed softly, "there was no one to tell. I've been alone since then. I couldn't tell the girl that because of her inability to keep that secret my mother had killed Daniel and I certainly couldn't tell her father. There has been no one else. I nearly completely shut down and I didn't think it was even possible for me to love or for anyone to love me again."

She was quiet but then an entirely humorless laugh came from her mouth, "so imagine my absolute relief when I find James and find that I love him and that he loves me, that I'm not completely broken but then he is taken too and I have to sit and wait and hope that he won't be gone forever, that I won't have to go through what I had to with Daniel again. I honestly don't think I'll be able to recover from that."

Silently Ruth pulled gently on Regina's arm and she caved and followed the contact, laying her head on her lap when she gently held the crying girl's head. She made no sound but her body shook with worry and fright of losing the person she held so dear. Ruth pulled her long dark hair back from her face and started soothingly running her fingers through it, "you're going to be alright, you are a strong woman, you've made it so far already."

"But I'm tired," she whispered defeatedly, "I'm just so tired of having to pick myself back up again only to be knocked back down once more," she let her eyes close and enjoyed the feeling of Ruth playing with her hair.

"Well I need you to show me the ropes, dear," she began a small braid in the shiny curls, "I'm not letting you give up until you show me how to get back up. Understood?"

Regina breathed out a small shaky laugh, "understood."


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm looking forward to seeing what you all think of this chapter :) there are a whole bunch of emotions getting thrown around in the last half so enjoy! ;) **

* * *

Weeks had gone by and there was still no sign of her shepherd. She had heard nothing in the palace of king George's or king Midas' endeavors and Ruth had heard nothing on the farm either. She was starting to get anxious, "do you think he's alright?" She asked quietly.

Ruth nodded as she peeled an apple, "yes I think he's perfectly alright," she smiled and looked up at Regina who cut off a small slice of her apple and slid it in to her mouth. Her attention was caught by Rocinante dropping her head inside the door. Ruth smirked when the horse looked at her and then turned one ear to Regina's back before taking a cautious step inside and stretching her neck down to the sack of apples by the leg of the table between her and Regina's feet.

The mare couldn't reach the sack and when she took another step in to the house Ruth started to laugh quietly when the apples were just out of reach. She had grown quite fond of her mare, she was quite the character and she knew exactly what she was doing and she knew it wasn't allowed. Her ears were fixed on Regina's back and she inched forward, careful not to get in to her peripheral. Ruth wanted to see if she could in fact get away with it.

Slowly Regina was brought from her thoughts on James to the sound of Ruth laughing quietly to herself and she paused her process of peeling a new apple in a perfect spiral. When the knife stopped cutting she could hear the familiar sound of a horse smacking their lips together in an attempt to grab something.

The very second the sound registered in her head she slammed both knife and apple on the table as she spun around, "Rocinante!" She scolded loudly and unsuccessfully bit back a grin when all four legs jumped off the ground and then spread out underneath her and her neck stuck out straight. With her back half out the door and her neck outstretched her muzzle was just within arms length of Regina, "what do you think you're doing?!" The mare didn't move and Ruth was trying hard to stifle a laugh, "get out!"

Ruth began laughing hysterically when the horse swiveled her ears toward the door, acknowledging Regina's demand but not following it until Regina leapt from her seat in a threat. She quickly backed out, her legs scrambling underneath her until she stood outside the door and snorted.

"She's like a child!" Regina dropped back in to her seat with a laugh.

Ruth pointed to the door and continued to laugh, "look at that face!"

"Puppy dog eyes don't work on me Rocinante," she laughed without even looking at the door and she heard her hooves reposition her with soft thuds on the grass, "we are busy. Stop trying and go away," she laughed and picked up her knife again.

Ruth chuckled as the mare hung her head just outside the door and nickered softly, "awe come on Regina! I can't do it!"

"Just don't look at her," Regina laughed under her breath in amusement.

"No I can't," she whined and glanced at Regina before tossing an apple out the door much to the horse's delight.

"Ruth!"

"I couldn't help myself!"

Regina shook her head and focused back on her apple, "she isn't going to leave you alone now," she smirked as she listened to the sound of Rocinante chewing the apple.

"Look she's so happy now," Ruth laughed as Regina shook her head with a smile and continued to peel the apple. She reached down and plucked up another apple from the sack, "you sure it's going to be alright we use these apples?"

"It's my tree, I can do what I please with the apples it produces," she smiled and shrugged, "besides the fact that you have never had an apple pie is not even funny."

"Well sorry it's not like I've been busy do other things or anything," Ruth teased and nudged Regina's leg with her foot causing her to laugh. It was a wonder how far she had come since the first time they had met and she could barely look her in the eye and flinched every time she had moved. Now she sat perfectly relaxed and laughing while teaching her how to make an apple pie.

"Where did you learn to make pie?" She watched the younger woman's hands handle the knife with great skill and ease, "I'm going to assume it wasn't your mother."

Regina shook her head and laughed softly, "no it most certainly was not my mother," she raised her eyebrows and kept her eyes on the knife, "I befriended a woman in our kitchen when I was younger and she taught me how to cook. Mother didn't approve and she was let go the day after she found out. Ladies don't cook apparently. Proper ladies aren't allowed to do much as it turns out," Regina looked up at Ruth and forced a smile to take off the edge of her bitter tone.

Ruth was not fooled by her smile in the slightest. It didn't reach her eyes. When her dark eyes dropped back down to her apple Ruth sighed quietly through her nose and frowned. Poor woman didn't have a friend in the world except for Rocinante and now her and James, "kitchen hands and stable boys," she smiled lightly, "sounds as though you were living a life as queen."

Regina kept her hands moving consistently around her apple and she kept her eyes following the knife as a small smile played on her lips, "I couldn't have very well married up if I was queen now could I?"

"No," Ruth shook her head, "no I suppose not."

"Ah," Regina grinned victoriously and held up a perfect spiral of an apple peel and it bounced in the air off her knife, "look at that," she laughed softly.

Ruth shook her head through a laugh, "show off."

...

"Now what?"

"Now," Regina pushed down the last corner of a section of lattice styled crust on the top of the pie, "we bake it," she smiled and lifted pie and waited for Ruth to open the door to the small wood burning oven. She slid it in to rest above the hot coals and dusted the flour from her hands, "and now we wait."

"What do we do with these peels and cores Ms Regina?" She motioned playfully to the small bucket they had dropped them in as they needed.

Regina picked up the pail and spun on her way to the door, "I'm sure your new best friend would love them," she smirked and Rocinante peered around the corner and walked cautiously toward Regina.

Ruth laughed as Rocinante snorted at the bucket and Regina simply switched hands so the bucket perched on her other hand further from the horse, "don't be such a tease," she scolded playfully and walked out the door past the laughing brunette, "I'll be right back."

"Alright," she chuckled and pulled out two of her spiral peels before placing the bucket on the grass for Rocinante to eat. As the mare put her head down Regina bent down and placed a peel on each of her ears, "beautiful," she laughed and brought a hand to her mouth to stifle a louder laugh as her ears swiveled and the peels bounced.

She shook her head and sighed with amusement, "I'd like to see you get those off," she chuckled lightly when her ears moved again and she lifted her head toward the sound Rocinante was listening to. It was Ruth talking to a man. Two men. Her brow furrowed lightly in concern and she peaked around the corner of the house to find her talking to two of her royal guards. Not hers personally but they worked under her and Leopold's command.

At the sight of them she pivoted back around the corner so as not to be seen. Needless to say she didn't want them to recognize her. She leaned against the house and took a deep breath as she tried to tune in on what they were saying.

"I don't have the money to spare right now, please just give me a little more time, my son will be back in a few days, he will have the money and then some to cover any other interest you or the royal family so desire to place on the amount."

"Ma'am this property will be taken by the royal family if you do not pay."

"There must be some way to buy more time," Ruth insisted as she spoke with her hands moving, "just claim that you missed us, assumed someone else came instead, we weren't home, anything!" She watched them desperately as they stood unmoving. Something caught the shorter one's eye over her shoulder and he looked back at her and grinned.

The shorter one spoke as the taller one focused on whatever was behind her, "I'm sure we can make something happen," he nodded toward the house.

Ruth turned to see Regina walking up to her and she turned back around absolutely furious, "absolutely not!"

"Just one night," the shorter one lifted a finger between them, "one night alone with her. I've always had a thing for brunettes. Especially the pretty ones that lace their dresses so fantastically tight," he moved both his hands in a manner that drew an hourglass shape in the air.

Ruth glared at him, her mouth open in disgust. She stepped forward aggressively and hissed at him, "you will not lay a hand on that girl you filthy _pig_! Get off my property!" She snarled and became confused when the fear of God himself was suddenly present in both of the men, especially the shorter one. Surely she didn't do that.

Regina placed a hand on Ruth's shoulder but did not look at her when she looked up at her. She tossed her men a small bag of gold that she had magically summoned while behind the house, "this should suffice and there is more than enough in there so I do not want to see you or hear that either of you were here until that money is gone understood?"

"Yes y-"

She cut them off quickly before they could finish addressing her, "now leave. And so help me if you say or do anything more than 'good day' and turn around and walk away I will make your lives a living hell," she looked at both men sternly, her hand still placed protectively on Ruth's shoulder. The two men stood stiff, scared to move or speak. Knowing the longer they stood there the easier it would be for someone to slip up she raised her eyebrows expectantly, "good day," she pushed her head forward as she watched them scramble between habits and orders.

"Good day."

"Good day."

Without a nod or any further gesture both men, one tall one short, all but ran off in the direction they had come. With a quiet sigh Regina tapped a finger on Ruth's shoulder thoughtfully before letting her hand fall back to her side and turning to walk off. She knew Ruth was going to follow her and demand an explanation but she just needed a few seconds to gather her thoughts before she slipped herself.

Ruth stared at the empty space the two men had occupied as she made work of processing what had just happened. She turned with her lips parted in a silent objection as Regina walked away and sat down in the grass hugging her knees. Ruth glanced back over her shoulder to where the men had left before she turned and walked toward Regina.

"Regina," she sat down next to her with her legs tucked beside her and asked very quietly, "who are you dear?" She watched her carefully, catching the way the muscles in her temples moved and she clenched and unclenched her jaw in contemplation before bowing her head.

"I can't tell you that," she spoke sadly and lifted her head, turning it to look at Ruth, "please don't ask me again. I don't want to lie to you and the knowledge of who I am...I don't want you to get hurt because of me."

Ruth opened her mouth and breathed in to object but she closed her mouth and let the air go at the desperate pleading look she gave her. Reluctantly she nodded, "alright," and the girl relaxed significantly.

"Thank you," she breathed out and looked out down the hill.

"Why did you pay them? So much too, why so much?"

Regina shook her head subtly and dropped her head down a fraction as she looked at Ruth, "they weren't going to leave without some sort of payment and king George isn't going to hold up his end of the deal until James succeeds or dies trying. I didn't feel like counting it," she laughed lightly, "it'll just keep them off your back for a long time."

"You didn't have to do that Regina. I could have figured something out."

"Ruth you have been a mother to me, I couldn't just stand there and watch you struggle. It's only money, it's the very least I could do for all you've done for me. I can't even begin to try and return the favor."

"It's not only money Regina, and that was a lot of money," she spoke seriously but it didn't affect Regina.

She shook her head, "I wish I could have paid them more," she said honestly.

"I can't accept that money," she spoke softly.

"Why do you think I didn't ask you?" Regina smiled gently as she looked at Ruth. Her mouth was set in a conflicted line and her eyes moved quickly between her own steady dark ones, "I know quite well you would never accept any money from me no matter how much you needed it. You're stubborn," she smiled warmly, "so I didn't even try."

Ruth kept her face set tightly, grateful that she had done it of course but she didn't want to trouble her with her own problems. She didn't want her to take care of them, she had so much to carry already. Eventually she released a tense breath and softened her features, "well thank you," she said quietly and Regina's smile brightened, "I will pay you back."

Regina shook her head once more, "I wish you wouldn't," she let go of her knees and leaned back on her hands when they reached the grass.

"You have a good heart Regina," she watched curiously as Regina bowed her head with a sad smile as though she was willing herself to believe it were true. Ruth didn't understand why she would think otherwise but she felt it was not something she would be willing to open up to her about it yet. She looked over her shoulder once more and asked, "what was that? You were very...different," she turned her head back to Regina and the girl was looking directly at her.

"I wanted them to go away."

"You scared them."

Regina shook her head and looked past Ruth, "no I just don't think they expected to see me here."

"Dear please don't make me ask."

Regina nodded and averted her eyes to the ground, "they did as I asked because the king respects me and my opinion and they knew that I could very well make their lives difficult if I so desired."

So many questions poured in to her head but she knew Regina would not answer even half of them. She figured she could start with the most obvious, "you know the king?"

There was a long pause as Regina worked out how to word it, "not particularly the word I would choose but yes in its simplest form I do know the king. He is a good man but we are far from close," there was another pause as she contemplated telling her more. She tapped her fingers on the ground and decided she may as well cover Snow as well, "Snow White is nice too, very friendly. I believe she'll get everything she wants out of this world because of it. She really is as beautiful as they all say," she risked a smile toward Ruth.

"The queen, however," she paused for a moment and looked out at the sheep ahead of them, "she doesn't seem like she fits...she most certainly isn't happy, I mean, I know better than anyone what an empty smile looks like," she cleared her throat gently and dropped her chin to look at her knees.

...

"Leopold?"

He jumped slightly and turned to the voice, "Regina. I didn't hear you come in."

Regina shrugged, one of the perks of magic, "may I have a go at picking a guard to ride with me this afternoon? Previous ones have proved to be rather a bore," that was true but she had another agenda. She needed to get the taller guard somewhere private. She felt confident that the shorter one would remain quiet , he couldn't very well tell anyone without bringing up the compromise he had offered Ruth and trying to bed the queen did not exactly go unpunished. She would confirm it of course with the taller one that his smaller and less than respectable companion would keep quiet.

Leopold shifted his weight and held his hands in front of him as he looked over the young woman, "yes of course," the words came out more suspiciously than he intended and she scoffed quietly and bitterly.

"I am not going to go anywhere, you've made it quite clear that I can't. If I was going somewhere I wouldn't have stopped by to hint at it," her top lip was curled back in a snarl and her face creased with frustration as her hands moved in angered gestures. As soon as she said it she closed her eyes and shook her head, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap."

Leopold nodded slowly as he walked up to her, "I understand."

Regina sighed and closed her eyes as she replied sadly in a near whisper, "no. No you really don't," when she opened her eyes Leopold was standing in front of her. There was still that soft kindness to him but it was tainted now. Tainted with something akin to pity as well as the sad frustration of not being able to fix her slow suffering. She didn't like being looked at like she was broken and there was nothing to do to fix her.

She wasn't broken, not yet, she was unhappy and she was angry. She didn't belong there, she didn't want to be there. She was growing tired of being looked at through his eyes. She wanted to be looked at through her shepherd's eyes. Warm, friendly, strong blue eyes that put her at ease rather than making her want to scream.

She knew he meant well but she couldn't stand it any longer, "stop it!" She cried accusingly and retracted within herself.

He furrowed his brow and shook his head slightly in confusion at the sudden outburst, "stop what?"

"Looking at me like that! You can't make this better! So stop looking at me like you're trying to figure out some puzzle with no solution!" Her voice started to shake in her desperate plea, "I am not some puzzle for you to solve! I am an unhappy and lonely human being who just wants someone to love her," her last few words came out in an exhausted breath and her hands laid flat, palms up and moving on every word.

"Regina," he moved to hold her upper arms but she ducked her head and quickly shrugged out of the contact.

"No! Stop looking at me like that!" She shouted desperately and put her hands up in front of her as she backed away a few steps and pushed her eyes shut to keep the tears from coming. He remained silent with his hands outstretched toward her and her own hands started to shake with the effort it took to keep herself from crying.

After a painfully long moment of silence Regina brought her right hand up to her mouth and shook her head quickly as she backed away, keeping her eyes closed until she turned around and walked away quickly, almost jogging. After all these years she was finally starting to snap. She imagined that finding she was capable of love and that someone was capable of loving her back but then no being allowed to act on it sped up the process significantly.

"Regina!"

She ignored the concerned call of Leopold behind her and continued forward without slowing down, if anything she sped up.

"Regina," he caught her wrist and she turned to face him and he held it despite her pulling to get it free, "Regina you are not okay!"

"Of course I'm not okay! I just told you that I am not okay!" A dry and humorless laugh was pushed from her and her arm hung limp in his hand, "in all the years I've lived here I have never once been okay!"

"Regina please, I can't stand seeing you like this, let's try and figure something out."

"There is nothing to figure out Leopold," she whispered coldly and ripped her wrist from his grasp, "you and I don't and never will love each other and there is nothing either of us can do about it," the cold was replaced with a heartbreaking truth.

"What is-"

"Stop looking at me like that!" She all but screamed at him, not noticing that Snow had walked up behind her father. She hadn't heard her start to speak when she had cut her off, she was distracted by the look in Leopold's eyes. The look that only seemed to be magnified the longer she looked. She felt like she was completely losing her mind. Without warning she spun around and quickly walked away.

Leopold took half a step forward before Snow stopped him, "what is going on?"

"I don't know she can't even look at me, she's unhappy and lonely and she can't stand the way I look at her that is all I could get from her," he motioned toward Regina as she retreated. Before he could say another word Snow was running down the hall after her.

Regina had the advantage wearing her riding clothes but Snow caught up quickly, holding up the skirt of her simple yellow gown as she ran, "Regina!"

"Not now Snow," she warned as she rounded the corner.

"Regina what is going on?"

"I said not now Snow!" She spun around and yelled furiously at the girl.

Snow stopped dead, Regina's eyes reflecting a similar deep purple of the coat she wore. Before she could fully comprehend the odd colour it was gone and the brown that remained softened into an unmistakeable fear that spread over her entire face. She opened her mouth to say something but Regina beat her to it.

"I'm sorry," her voice cracked shakily and she backed away from Snow, terrified of what she could have just done to the girl. She didn't want to hurt anyone, the frightening day dreams were bad enough but now she had almost followed through and that scared her, "what is happening to me?" She whispered to herself, not aware that she had said it out loud as she stared wide eyed at Snow.

"Mother nothing is wrong with you," she tried to calm her down with a slow and soothing tone despite feeling the strong urge to run.

"I nearly killed you!" She exclaimed loudly, unable to stop the panic from entering her voice as she continued to back away. She collided with a small table decorating the hall sending its contents flying to the floor with a loud crash and she gasped and spun to get away from it but hit her back against the wall instead. Shaking, she sank to the floor and pulled her knees up to her chest as she looked off in to nothing with her fingers resting anxiously on her mouth while the other arm laid across her stomach to try and calm its twisting, "where am I?"

Snow approached her cautiously and crouched in front of her, "you're in the palace mother," she placed her hands on Regina's knees and tried to ease her shaking. Her eyes glanced her way but she wasn't all there.

"No, me," she whispered, "where am _I_?"

Snow watched the tears pool in her dark eyes before she looked away in to nothing again. She wasn't asking where she was physically, she was trying to find where she had lost herself. Snow had no answer, nothing to comfort her frightened and distressed mother. But she stayed on the floor and rubbed her thumbs over the knees of the quivering woman who had always been so strong and resilient in her eyes.

Neither of them said a word and neither of them moved aside from the shaking and the comforting movement of fingers. Regina had her head turned to look at something that wasn't there, trembling fingers resting on her bottom lip. Snow desperately wanted to know what she was thinking about but she knew better than to ask and she remained silent as she gently studied her.

Slowly her shaking began to stop and became isolated to her hands and even they weren't shaking as much as they used to be. Snow lowered her head to rest her chin on Regina's knees and her hands slid to hold the sides of her legs, thumbs still moving in slow comforting circles. Regina snapped her head straight and dropped her hand to lay on her other one over her stomach as she looked right at her as though she was startled by the change in contact.

Snow held her gaze steadily, trying to give her something to depend on, trying to let her know that she didn't have to be alone. It seemed to hit a nerve and her eyes started to well up with tears once again. Neither one of them broke eye contact despite the conflict that clearly flooded her mother.

That is how she wanted to be looked at. She didn't want it to be Snow who did it though. Anyone but Snow. It made her feel guilty. She didn't want to hate her but it hurt her, physically hurt her, to love the younger girl despite how much she wished it wouldn't. Maybe it would have been easier if the gentle blue of Daniel's eyes didn't look back at her from the girl that caused his death. Almost everyday she had to look into that blue and every time she did she was reminded that she would never see him again. How could she even begin to try and move on if she was constantly reminded by the girl that killed him that he was never coming back.

Her shepherd's eyes were blue but they were different, always changing and yet they were always familiar. Her hands started to shake once more and her lips parted in a silent plea for some understanding on why she had to be hurt so much in what was really so short a period. She had a nagging feeling that she didn't have much of a chance of it getting much better. Past experience. Perhaps she was just not destined for happiness.

The thought made her heart throb and her throat tighten and when Snow turned her head so that the side of her face rested on her knees Regina could not stop the tears from finally falling silently down her cheeks. Even though it hurt, Regina lifted her hand and gingerly brought her fingers to the girl's hairline and gently pushed her hair behind her ear and repeated the motion, every time she did it hurt a little more.

She did it to try again, try one more time to see if trying to love her would hurt any less but it only seemed to hurt more. When Snow wrapped her arms around her bent legs Regina brought her free hand back up to her mouth only now she covered it entirely and her fingers stopped moving through Snow's hair but remained resting on her head as she squeezed her eyes shut to keep herself from crying even more.

She was truly grateful for Snow's silence, she didn't want to talk, she didn't even know if she could her throat was so tight and thick with sorrow and guilt. A mother should be able to love her children even if they weren't hers. She couldn't keep living like this, it was going to ruin her.

Snow couldn't remember the last time Regina let her hold her this long and never once had she allowed her to try and comfort her. She had so many questions regarding her current state but she wouldn't dare ask any now. Not when Regina was breaking down, not when she was obviously hurting, not while she let her hold her, not while she trailed her fingers over her hair trying so hard to find it in herself to love her back. She wouldn't dare do anything but be still and hope that maybe things could change between them, that maybe, just maybe, they could find a way back to the way they were before she married her father.


	12. Chapter 12

**Yaaaaa so I'm sorry about all the sadness lol! Have to do it though in order for the story to progress :) I'm looking forward to reading your reviews!**

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"Mother."

"Oh my boy!" Ruth ran to him and pulled him in to a hug, "I've missed you so much!" She stepped back and held his hands in hers, "look at you! You look like a prince!" Her wide smile faltered when she caught glimpse of pain underneath his smile, "what is it my son," she smiled, unaware of the news he had brought.

He could feel his chest tightening, "is Regina here?"

Ruth laughed happily under her breath, "no she was here yesterday but I imagine she'll be back tomorrow or the day after and you two can catch up and hold each other to your heart's content," her smile instantly vanished when James bowed his head sadly and his face warped and creased into heartbreak, "James, what is it?"

James shook his head slowly, his heart feeling like it was slowly being ripped in two, "king George and king Midas want to join their kingdoms. I am to marry king Midas' daughter," he raised his heavy head, "I was sent to say goodbye."

Ruth stood with her jaw dropped in shock, no words could come from her. Her son was to leave again only now he wouldn't come back. He didn't want to marry for any other reason but love and she knew that. Any other reason would break his heart. Regina. The name caused her to gasp. This news would hurt her and she wasn't certain there would be any coming back from it, "no, no don't do this, you don't need to do this, you can stay here, you can marry for love."

"The woman I love is already taken," his voice cracked in to a whisper and he swallowed back the tears but they still glossed his eyes. He promised Regina he wouldn't hurt her, that he would never leave her alone, that he would come back to her. He didn't want to think about how much his broken promises would hurt her but that didn't mean he could stop himself from thinking about it.

He wished she was there. A day too late, how cruel fate could be. He wanted to kiss her, he wanted to hold her tight, he wanted to tell her that he loved her, he wanted to explain this to her himself and then let her cry in his arms. He wanted to say goodbye in person. He wanted to see her face again, to see her smile, to lose himself in her troubled dark eyes, he wanted to hear her laugh and hear her voice just one more time. He didn't want to leave her. He couldn't even go and find her, he didn't even know who she was.

Ruth felt like she was choking. Her son was going to leave and she may never see him again and that was terrible but really it was inevitable, she knew a time would come when he would leave home and she wouldn't get to see him as often but Regina...she was going to lose everything all over again, her heart was going to be crushed and she was going to shut down just to keep herself from getting hurt again. She breathed an incredibly shaky breath as a tear rolled down her cheek, "no, no just stay. You don't have to go, the farm's dues have been paid far in advance and we can save money for when it runs out and you don't have to marry the princess you can stay here with Regina and me."

"If I don't do this king George will kill you and everyone else I care about and burn the farm to the ground. I don't have a choice."

"There is always a choice."

James shook his head, "I don't see one this time," he hated seeing his mother cry, "I'm sorry mother," he whispered sadly and more tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I know dear," she tried to smile but she couldn't hold it, "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too," he nodded and pulled her in to a hug, holding her tight as she did the same.

"I'm going to be alright dear," she assured him.

James closed his eyes and sighed through his nose, hating that he had to leave her and Regina. Then something she said finally came to his attention and reluctantly he pulled away, "what do you mean the farm's dues have been paid far in advance? We never had that much money."

She smiled and pushed on his chest with her finger, "your Regina is just full of surprises."

"Regina paid? Why?"

Ruth laughed softly, "she said she didn't want to watch us struggle. She didn't even give me a chance to interject, she tossed the king's men a bag of coins and told them not to come back until it was spent up. I got after her for it once they had left but she insisted that everything was fine...she's a very complicated woman," she smiled and nodded quickly in an attempt to keep the tears from falling.

The hopelessness on her son's face caused an intolerable pain and with shaking hands she pulled her ring off her finger, "here, take it."

"No, mother I can't take that," he put his hands over hers as he shook his head.

"Love follows this ring," she gave him a tear filled smile, "give it to the princess. Perhaps you will grow to love her."

He let her hands slip from his and he took the ring he offered her, "I don't believe I will be able to love anyone as much as I do Regina," he whispered sadly and spun the ring between his fingers

"But you will be able to love another, you have a big heart James and Regina will always be in there taking up a big part of it but I know you will find room for another," she nodded and caught his eye before he dropped them back down to the ring in his fingers.

"Um," she dropped her head and swallowed, gently clearing her throat to steady her shaky voice, "if she doesn't make it today," she pushed her eyes closed and tilted her head, forcing down the painful throb in her chest before opening her eyes and looking up at her distraught son, "what do you want me to say to her?"

...

"It's been nearly two days...do you think we are in the clear?"

"No. Mind you I have always been in the clear, it's yourself that you have to worry about."

He hadn't been able to relax, he was constantly jumping at people's sudden appearances or footsteps behind him. He was incredibly paranoid but for good reason, "you think she'll have me executed?" He didn't understand how his friend could be so calm.

"Who? Me?"

Both men spun around to find the queen standing in the doorway of the quarters they and their colleagues were given to enjoy. His heart all but stopped beating and he held his breath, his eyes wide with fear as she walked toward them with her head held high and a face that have nothing away.

It was times like these when she appreciated the power she had. She walked with a strong stride and stopped in front of them as the shorter one scrambled to his feet to stand next to his already standing companion. She stood in front of them silently, her eyes moving over them critically causing the nervous one to grow even more tense. She had skipped her ride the day earlier because of the sudden emotional state she had found herself in and she didn't even want to try and find these two guards when her emotions were on such a high.

Now she stood in front of the two men seeming much taller than she really was, "I am not going to have you executed," she said simply but her dark eyes remained hard and daring making the shorter one's relief short lived, "but I will not _stand_ for that behavior toward any of my people," she spat and he flinched, "that was absolutely _unacceptable_, these people deserve to be treated with respect and not as an array of play things to be used at your disposal!" She found she was leaning forward slightly as her eyes moved between the two men, "have I made myself _perfectly_ clear?"

"Yes your Majesty," they answered in unison, their voices each carrying a different tone.

She turned to address only the shorter one and she noticed him shrink back slightly, "as long as you keep your mouth shut about that day and you treat my people as people I won't say a word. Your well being is in your own hands."

"Yes. Thank you your Majesty."

She looked him over once more, letting her disgust with his behavior known before she turned to the taller guard and her features relaxed in to a relaxed expression, "can you ride?"

"Of course."

"Come," she turned and walked away, hearing a pause likely due to an exchanged glance between both men before footsteps were heard behind her.

...

"You still haven't told me why you have brought me with you," there was an underlying question as he addressed her.

"What is your name?"

"Claude."

"Well Claude I am not permitted to leave the castle without an escort," she said simply, "and I need you to assure me that you aren't going to run up to the king and tell him that I have been leaving without one despite his direct order," she turned her head and looked directly at the tall bald man as their horses walked side by side.

He shrugged, "I have no reason to tell the king."

"That may be so but you also have no reason to not tell him."

Claude nodded and raised his eyebrows, not at all offended by her distrust, "that is also true."

"Unlike your perfectly _delightful_ companion, I have nothing on you to keep you quiet," she looked him over thoughtfully when a smile formed on his face as she addressed the second guard. Her fingers tapped her reins and she continued, "you seem to be one of the better men in the world. All your morals relatively in the right place."

"Thank you," it came out as almost a question.

"I think I believe you when you say you will not tell him but if the situation ever arose that he asked you to your face what do I need to do to ensure that you won't answer him honestly?"

"Just ask me not to," he shrugged his shoulders and then looked over to the queen. She was looking at him with a doubtful stare, eyes narrowed and lips pursed slightly in thought, "you obviously care for that small family, you wouldn't have risked your identity to help them if you didn't. At least I assume they don't know who you are, with the choice in your appearance I can't come to another conclusion."

She remained silent and still upon her horse's back as she listened attentively, "you weren't brought up in this lifestyle and you have never seemed to quite fit. I don't see anything wrong with you taking time to enjoy the simple things in life like you may have done before you were brought here. If the king desires to keep that from you that's his business but clearly it hasn't stopped you. There would be no point in me telling him, it would only cause more distress for everyone and as you said I have all my morals in relatively the right places," he gave her a relaxed smile and he could see the doubt in him beginning to fade, "I don't hurt anyone unless it is necessary or ordered by you or the king. So if you wish me to remain quiet no matter the circumstances then just ask."

His sincerity was almost off putting, she wasn't used to it, she had only seen it in a select few, "I wish you to keep this between us," her voice had lost its distinctive certainty.

Claude nodded once, "alright," he smiled and turned his head to look at her again, "I expect you'll be watching me very closely until you find it in you to trust me," he teased lightly and it earned him a small smile from her.

"Thank you."

"Of course."

"No," she shook her head, "I mean thank you for treating me like a person and not a queen."

"You are a person. Queen is just your title and while you should be treated as a queen, most forget that there is still a person under that power."

Regina hummed approvingly and her smile reached her eyes this time, "I am happy to hear that outside of my own head."

...

"Ruth?" She called as she slid from Rocinante's back. The woman was always there to greet her on her arrival but this time there was no reply. She walked to check the small house, worried that she may have hurt herself in some way. The house was empty of life which gave her some relief but also fed her curiosity on where she could be.

She didn't think too much of it. She likely had something to fetch in town. Since James had gone to complete the work of the king she had a lot of work she had to get done on her own. She had grown quite close to Ruth, helping her around the farm and talking as they worked. It was comforting and quite a relief to have someone to talk to in James' absence. She hoped he would return soon and that he would return in the same condition he had left.

...

She walked slowly back home. The day before she had remained at the house, silent, sad, worried, and almost hopeful that Regina wouldn't show for both her own sake so she would have to tell her but also so that she wouldn't have to live with being just a day too late. Regina hadn't come yesterday and Ruth was relieved but now she was anxious. She didn't want to tell Regina. It would crush her gentle soul and she knew she would run. Run to try and escape the pain that followed. She didn't know when to expect the girl to arrive but she knew it wouldn't be long before she did.

She walked with slow steps and her head hung low, her basket empty despite her trip in to town. She hadn't needed anything in the first place, she just wanted a change in scenery and almost hoped Regina would come and go in her time away and she could prolong telling her just a little longer. She didn't know how to tell her.

As she emerged from the tree line she caught sight of the chestnut mare grazing outside the home and her heart sunk. She paused for a moment and took a deep breath only continuing when the mare lifted her head and greeted her with a soft nicker. She didn't want to break the girl's heart.

...

Regina lifted her head when she heard Rocinante greet someone and she got up from the worn wooden table and walked quickly to the door, a joyful smile on her face. When she made it outside and saw Ruth walking toward her she continued forward with a skip in her step that faded quickly. She looked like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Regina tried a smile as she got closer but it came off nervous as the older woman came nearer and she could see the lines of pain she had hoped she would never have to see on her kind face, "Ruth?"

She attempted a smile in return to ease the concern in Regina's features, "hello Regina. How long have you been here?"

"Not long," her brow furrowed gently when she stopped in front of her and her fingers picked at the empty basket anxiously, "are you alright? You're starting to scare me..."

"Honestly," she rocked her head sadly and tried to keep her voice from cracking, "I've definitely been better." She didn't deserve this, she was so young and bright and it had already happened to her. This time she feared there wouldn't be a recovery.

Regina shifted her weight on to her other foot and cocked her head slightly, "how do you mean?"

"I have news about my son," she felt sick when she saw the fear grow over her features and she ever so slowly started to shake her head, "Regina...he isn't coming back."

"No, that," she shook her head in short movements as the tears welled up in her eyes, "that can't be right."

Ruth nodded gently as the tears started to pool in her own eyes, "I'm afraid it is, dear. He was here the day before yesterday-"

"He's alive? Well then why can't he come back? Ruth that doesn't make any sense," the first tear trailed down her cheek.

"The king has forced him in to a marriage, threatening him with the lives of everyone he loves," she took a step forward and held her arms gently, "he would have found you dear and he would have killed you."

Regina shook her head and lowered her hand that had been covering her mouth, she felt sick, "e-even if he did find out who I was he couldn't kill me and I would have kept you both safe," she pushed her eyes closed as the tears fell faster.

"Regina there would have been nothing you could have done."

Regina shook her head, "you don't know who I am. There is so much that I could have done," she was the queen. It was all happening again, she was losing love again. She couldn't handle standing there any longer, she felt like she was being torn in two. She needed to get away.

"Dear, unless you are the queen there is absolutely nothing you could have done," she said it gently and tried to soothe her by running her hands up and down her arms but her words only made it worse and she broke down entirely. Her body shook viciously and it sounded almost as though she was choking, "this was his sacrifice to keep us safe."

"I have to go," she darted her tear filled eyes around, looking anywhere but the devastated expression Ruth wore.

Ruth tightened her grip when she began to back away but she tore free anyway, "Regina!" She cried after her and caught the girl's wrist before she got more than four steps. "Regina! You don't get to run away! Not yet! Not until you hear what I have to say," her heart broke all over again when she met the dark eyes that were filled with such light and warmth only minutes ago but were now empty save for the intense pain that seemed to physically shatter her.

Her voice was shaky, "he made me promise to tell you and I will not break that promise," her voice quieted in to a whisper as she neared the end of her sentence as her own cries fought to take over. She shook her head to show that she was not going to let her go and she willed herself to stay strong for her. The tears fell anyway, "he loves you Regina. He loves you with all his heart and the fact that he couldn't say goodbye himself hurt him more than you can ever know."

Regina closed her eyes tightly and bowed her head but could not swallow the quiet sob that shook her shoulders. She could feel her heart wilting away painfully in her chest.

Ruth took a shaky breath to try and pull herself together enough to continue. She had never seen such hurt in a person before, "he told me he promised he would never leave you alone, that he wouldn't make you go through that pain again and that he would always be there for you. He knew it would crush you that he had to break that promise, I know it paid a similar toll on him."

She watched with great difficulty as the young brunette pushed her lips together to try and silence another pained cry. Her lips parted in a shaky and audible breath as she looked up just over and to the side of her head, her eyes now open to intensify the look of heartbreak.

"He wants you to find happiness, to stay strong, to never forget who you are in here," she gently placed a hand over Regina's heart causing her to cry further and push herself closer to crying herself, "I will take his place, I will put that promise on myself. I will always be here for you my dear, I will not leave you," she shook her head as her voice gave way to her own shaky cries, "I do not expect I will see you again," she paused to try and hopelessly steady her voice and let her own pain take hold in her chest, "but I truly hope I will. Do not forget us, if you choose not to come back, do not forget us."

Regina didn't no what to say, her entire body hurt. She didn't want to believe he was gone, she didn't want to believe that she had lost love again, she didn't want to believe that she would likely never see him again. "I have to go," she didn't think her voice could sound so sad and quiet as the words came out slowly in defeat.

She shook her head again as she lifted her head to meet Ruth's eyes. She didn't even want to think about how this was tearing the kind woman apart. Losing her son, having to let him go, "I could never forget you or James. Not after how you have treated me so kindly," her body quivered and her mouth pulled in to a frown as she tried once more to calm her unsteady breaths but they only turned vocal.

She stepped forward quickly and wrapped her arms tightly around the older woman as she sobbed into her neck. She was like a mother to her, a proper mother, and she didn't want to lose her too but she couldn't come back to this place, not with the memories she and James had created there. Perhaps when she was stronger she would come back. She felt so safe in her arms, "I love you."

Ruth broke then, no longer able to hold back her cries any longer, "I love you to my dear," she hugged her tighter, knowing full well how hard it was for her to trust anyone let alone admit she loved them and put herself in such a vulnerable position. She didn't want to let her go but she understood that she didn't want to be surrounded by the memories of lost love. Again. So she let her slip from her hold, her face absolutely devastating and filled with despair as she backed away.

She backed away because she wanted to remember her face. She made it several paces before she could no longer bear to watch the tears roll down her face and she turned and ran toward Rocinante who stood waiting nearby, sensing something was wrong. She vaulted herself on and was galloping away before she had even balanced on her back.

Once at the bottom of the hill she looked back over her shoulder. Ruth stood at the top watching her leave, her posture suggesting nothing else but a calm understanding. Regina whipped her head forward when the tears blurred her vision again and she whispered in to her mare's neck, "run Rocinante. Just run."


	13. Chapter 13

**This chapter is shorter than the otheds but I didn't want to add anything else to it. I'm really super looking forward to reading your reviews! :) **

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She felt heavy. Heavy and yet hollow, so incredibly hollow. Her posture was straight but only due to habit as she walked slowly through the maze of halls in the castle, a route she followed subconsciously for she was only able to focus on the pain in her heart and not her surroundings. It still hadn't quite set in but she was sure she had no more tears to cry. Her soft pear green gown seemed to mock her. The light colourful silk covering her dark and empty figure as it trailed behind her with a quiet ruffling sounds and swooshed with every step but to her ears it sounded like chains and shackles.

When she finally reached the large doors to her bedchamber she pushed both open and walked in only enough to turn around and push them back closed with a nearly inaudible click. She stayed like that, arms stretched out to hold her weight against the door as she bowed her head and stared blankly at the carved wood. Her eyes found her left hand and studied it curiously. She found she was stuck on the large ring on her finger.

It was like she didn't recognize it. She just stared at it. This was not her, this could not be the woman she had to be for the rest of her life. She had to get out.

Snow had been waiting patiently in her mother's chambers for some time now and when the doors had opened she stood up quickly and turned to face her with a smile. That smile faded the very instant she laid eyes on Regina. Her movements were strained and seemed painful and now she stood silent and unmoving, pushing on already closed doors. She was unaware of her presence, Snow had caught glimpse of her eyes before she turned around and they were glazed and empty. Her face was uncomfortably pulled in to a sad and lost confusion when she opened the doors but she didn't know why, "mother?"

Regina didn't even blink, the fact that Snow was there not completely processed in her head yet, "what are you doing here?"

Snow frowned, her voice was lost of any fight. Even in her lowest times she had always had a certain boldness to her distinguished voice but now it was practically unrecognizable. If Regina hadn't have been standing in front of her she would never have believed that that tired and empty voice belonged to her. She took a cautious step forward, "I wanted to see if you were feeling any better but I couldn't find you and when I went down to the stables Rocinante was gone so I came up here to wait for your return."

"I am not any better I can assure you," she spoke quietly, her voice painfully neutral.

Regina still hadn't moved from her place. It was unsettling. She had always turned to face her when they spoke. Then suddenly the pieces of a masterfully hidden puzzle started to fit together, "you are wearing a gown, mother."

"How very observant," she dead panned softly.

"You are not wearing your riding clothes," it was not an accusation but there was a question in the statement. It was then that she saw the first signs of life in her mother as her back and shoulders stiffened ever so slightly.

"Get out," she whispered.

"If you're not wearing your riding clothes that means no one knew you were riding."

"Get out," her voice became a little louder and a little firmer but her back remained turned.

Snow shook her head and continued but not in a manner of accusation, "if no one knew you were riding then that means you didn't want them to which means that you were going somewhere and you didn't want anyone to know where."

"Snow. Get out."

"You went to see your friend didn't you," her shoulders slumped sadly and she cocked her head as she looked over her mother with a certain sort of admiration but there was also heartbreak in her expression. Regina had gone against her father's direct orders and she went to go see this secret man. She must truly care for him if she was willing to go through all that effort to be with him even if it was just for a short while.

"Get out," her voice cracked painfully and she bowed her head once again and pushed her eyes closed as the tears she had thought had run dry returned.

The sadness that had entered her voice now sent a sharp pang through Snow's heart. Once again she ignored the request for her to leave and she watched as her mother finally removed her hands from the door but her heart began to throb in her chest as one hand found her mouth and the other held her stomach. Snow felt the overwhelming sense that something had gone terribly terribly wrong, "mother what happened?"

Snow stood her ground when Regina whipped around and marched toward her as she screamed, "get out!"

"I know you love him!" Snow blurted out and she saw the fear and the pain in her mother's tear filled eyes as she stopped in her tracks, "your friend," she elaborated quietly, "I know you love him," it didn't bother her that she did, everyone deserved love. Regina's chest rose and fell with quick and nervous shaky breaths as her dark eyes darted back and forth fearfully between her blue. Suddenly they stopped but her breath was still shaky and the tears started to fall as she pointed behind her.

"Get. Out." She clenched her jaw and held her step daughter's gentle stare with what little control she had left.

"Mother I-"

"Get out!" She screamed as she closed her eyes and threw her hands in to her hair and pulled at the strands that had all been pulled up off her neck in beautiful twists.

The doors flung open at her outburst causing Snow to jump at the sudden movement and sound. Her heart was racing in her chest and she picked up the skirt of her dress and walked quickly from the room. When she passed through the doors she stopped and turned back to see Regina remove her hands from her hair and slowly drop them to her sides as she pivoted only enough to see her.

Snow's breath caught in her throat at the immense amount of pain that seemed to flow from her mother's beautiful figure. Her lips were parted and her eyes were frightened as the tears continued to fall, everything about her image just screamed defeated and heartbroken. This was a whole new side to her and she wished she didn't have to see it.

She had seen the bright young woman that had saved her from that horse, she had seen the woman that had been consumed by anger and loneliness, she had seen the woman who had found joy in life again and had remembered how to laugh, she had seen the stress ridden and terrified woman, and now as the doors slowly closed of their own volition she saw a heartbroken and defeated woman standing in front of her.

When the doors clicked shut she shook her head and tried to steady her breath and erase the image of the broken woman from her eyes. There was no use, there was no getting away from that heart wrenching sight. She took a step forward with fingertips on her mouth and heard the sound of muffled wails as her dear mother sobbed in to her bed. Tears sprung to her own eyes and she took a sharp and shaky breath as she shook her head and whispered, "Regina what have we done to you?"

...

Regina had told him that she believed it would be lonely to live in a palace and that it would feel like you were trapped. He had considered her view and thought hard about it but now that he was here in king Midas' castle awaiting the preparations for this wedding he understood what she had meant. He couldn't help but wonder why she had had such an opinion on the royal life. He missed her dearly.

He hadn't realized how much work had to be put in to such preparations and was told that he would remain here for at least the span of a few months before they were ready to leave and move along with the wedding. A few months that he could be spending with Regina and his mother but was instead trapped in a castle under George's magnifying glass and Midas' plans.

He just wanted to hold her and to assure her that everything would be alright. His heart ached for her soft touch and gentle words, he wanted to hear her laugh and kiss her again. There were times when it felt like his heart was in his throat and he would get so angry he would throw things and stiffly run his fingers through his short hair as he paced.

James was not an angry man, he never had been, but as of late he had a certain bubbling hatred toward king George. He had taken him from the people he loved and told him he would kill them if he tried anything so yes the man made his blood boil. He wanted to get out and run back to the farm to see his mother and try to find Regina once again but he was trapped by the image of their death and that would surely be the end of him.

He stood staring out the window as though if he stared long enough he would be able to see Regina. It was a hopeless task, his girl was a kingdom away and he had no ideas on where to even begin his search. She could be anyone. At the sound of footsteps he paused his thoughts but as the unfortunately familiar stride was recognized his mouth pulled in to a bitter snarl and he kept his back turned.

"Forget her."

"With all due respect your majesty," James turned to look at the arrogant and particularly cold king, "no."

"It will do you no good to dwell on this woman. Get over her, forget her. You are to marry Abigail and you are to save our kingdom from our debt."

"_Our_ kingdom? I have played no part. It is _your_ kingdom you speak of that you have run into debt. The kingdom I lived in thrived and was beautiful and debt free! I will not share the blame for your kingdom's downfall, I am not your son," he looked him over critically and then turned back to look out the window.

"No you are most certainly not my son!" He spat, "but you will follow through with this marriage and you will forget this girl in your past and you will learn to care for Abigail. In time you will see that this was the right decision."

"It is only the right decision because you have made any other option harmful."

"Only so you are not tempted by any of them. Power, that is what you will have now."

"I don't want power," he closed his eyes as his heart wrenched in his chest as he recalled Regina's exact words to him. The king only laughed.

"Everybody wants power! Foolish man, I am doing you a favor."

"You made me break a promise to a woman who trusts no one. That is no favor," he replied solemnly as he opened his eyes again and looked out the window.

"She'll get over it just as you will," he said it without any emotion in his voice. It sounded cold, as though he couldn't care less and really he couldn't. The former shepherd said nothing further, "forget her. You can't go back now," and with that George turned and left the room.

James breathed out a long sigh and rubbed his hands over his face. For his mother and for Regina, that is why he had to do this, to keep them safe. But what if there was another way? Regina had kept her identity a secret and he knew she didn't want anyone to find out who she was and she had been very successful so who was to say she couldn't keep her identity from George and he would never be able to find her. If he couldn't find her he couldn't hurt her and he could move his mother, hide her somewhere so she wouldn't be hurt either.

Would it be worth the risk though? It would certainly be worth the trouble and effort but what of the risk? If he stayed their safety was guaranteed but no one was happy, if he were to back out every one of them would be in danger but they would be together.

He wanted to know how Regina was coping. He knew for certain it wasn't well, "I'm so sorry Regina," he whispered as he looked out the window in the direction of his home. The home he wanted nothing more than to share with her.

...

Snow caught sight of Regina crossing the hallway she was currently walking down and she quickened her pace to catch up to her. She hadn't left her chambers all night and Snow feared she had cried herself to sleep. When she rounded the corner Regina was still ahead of her, her hair was pinned up in an elaborate way that she had chosen likely just to waste time. Her gown was a dark navy blue velvet that trailed along the floor behind her and small black gems covering the waist of the dress from beneath her breasts to just below her navel, "mother."

Regina stopped and turned to face the girl with a smile, "yes Snow?"

Snow's face instantly fell in to grief, "no," she whimpered under her breath in a whisper that she was certain Regina didn't hear. The life was gone from her eyes and her smile was empty, she was gone. Snow stepped forward and placed her hands over her mother's arms but she was gone, there was no warmth that grew in Snow like any of the times she had touched her in the past, the tears pooled in her eyes once more as Regina glanced at the contact and then back up to her with a painfully empty expression, "you don't have to do this mother, please, please don't do this!"

Regina cocked her head, "do what?"

"Collapse! Come back! Please!" She begged but the cold stiffness to her mother's movements as she shook her head as though she was confused made the tears fall from her eyes.

"I'm standing right in front of you, I haven't gone anywhere dear."

"No! No please, you don't have to go back to being this way! I can talk to father! We can try and figure something out we can try and get you out of here! W-we can-," a choked sob broke out as Regina looked down at her through such broken and empty dark eyes that only weeks, days ago even, had been filled with such warmth and openness, "you can go back," she cried quietly.

"There's nothing for me to go back to," she shook her head and and forced a quick smile before it was gone and her expression went dark, "I am done."

Her sudden darkness sent chills down her spine and she shook her head, "no," she protested quietly but Regina backed away and turned around to continue on her path. She looked down to her hands to find they were shaking, "no, no, no," she shook her head as she cried quietly to herself and looked back up to watch Regina retreat. There was no glimmer of that gentle woman anymore and there was no longer anything that was keeping her from falling cruelly in to darkness.

She was tired, she had been beaten down, and she had stopped trying to get back up. This life had ruined her mother and Snow couldn't help the guilt that rose from the pit of her stomach.


	14. Chapter 14

**Again this chapter is not as long but I wanted to leave it there :) things will turn around soon so don't worry too much! **

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The king was dead. But that was not why she was crying, that was not why she was shaking. The genie had gotten to her, touched a part of her she was certain she had blocked off months ago when James had left. He had loved her enough to kill Leopold for her and that scared her more than she had thought possible. What would have happened if she had agreed to go with with him? Could she have possibly lived happily with the former genie?

No. She shook her head and brought shaking hands to her face. No she wouldn't go down that road again, it seemed to only end in pain and heartbreak. She wouldn't go there, she couldn't fall for loves tricks again, she refused to get hurt again. She had given her heart fully to both Daniel and James, she would certainly not give it away again and especially not to a genie who didn't know her.

That didn't mean the small opportunity for her to maybe love again hadn't shook her and shook her hard. With Daniel's death she hadn't thought love to be possible for her again and she was beyond thrilled when she had found her shepherd. Then he was gone too and she couldn't tell which loss hurt her more. Daniel or James. What she did know was that she didn't want to get hurt again so she blocked herself off and didn't even try to mend her broken heart. There was no point in mending something no one would receive.

Over those few days though she felt that want to be loved again but she stomped it down because of Daniel and because of James. Especially because of James. She shook because the genie had, did, does, love her and he killed for her and used a wish, a rare and precious wish, so he could be with her. She didn't love the genie, she didn't think that even if she had gone with him that she ever would. But he loved her and that gave her a sliver of hope for the future, a sliver she did not want.

He sacrificed everything for her and to her that was terrifying and struck a chord deep within her that reminded her what her love for Daniel and James felt like, "no," she shook her head in her hands, "no I won't," her voice was louder and then it was a scream, "I can't!" She threw the small mirror containing the genie's face across her room but despite the great force she had used, miraculously, the mirror didn't break.

She collapsed back down in front of her vanity and dropped her head on to folded arms as she cried. She thought she was done, she had gone months floating around without feeling that stabbing pain in her heart but now? Now it was back.

"Mother?!" Snow barged in to her mother's bedchambers in a panic. She was awoken with the news of her father's murder and she panicked of course but then her thoughts moved to Regina. If her father had been killed was her mother dead as well? She didn't want to lose another. A wave of relief washed over her when she lifted her head from the top of her vanity. She was crying but she was okay.

She had been cold and empty since that night months ago and everyday since then Snow hoped she would find her and see the light in her eyes. "Oh you're alive!" She breathed out and smiled as she ran to her, wrapping her arms around her, nearly pushing her off her chair.

"What are you doing?" Regina questioned quietly with an underlying venomous tone. She didn't hug her back, she remained still and tried to blink back the tears she had shed.

"I thought that maybe you had been killed as well," she whispered in to Regina's neck as she sat down on the very edge of the chair practically on top of Regina.

The young girl started to shake against her as she cried and Regina felt that old but familiar pang of guilt ring through her chest but she squashed it down inside her again. She would not feel guilt for the girl that took everything from her. She knew she didn't take James from her but she had told her secret once again and in turn forever broke her trust, "perhaps it would have been better if I had."

"No! Stop it!" She sobbed in to her and held on to her tighter, "I refuse to believe that you are this way! I know that you don't want to be this person! You used to fight this person! I'm not going to give up on you," another violent series of sobs shook her body at her mother's stillness, "please!"

"Please what, Snow?"

"Can you please just hold me for a little while?! My father is dead! Please mother just...hold me?" Her distraught voice faded in to a whisper as she clung to her, "I don't want to be alone right now."

Regina had hundreds of bitter remarks lined up but before she could pick one her arms had slowly wrapped around the young girl. She hadn't permitted the action but she found she couldn't stop it nor could she pull away when her arms held Snow and the girl breathed out a relieved laugh through her continuous cries as she buried her face deeper in to the nook of her neck.

Her mother was dead. Her father was dead. All she had left was Regina, the woman she happily called her mother and she didn't want to lose her too. She clung desperately to that small flicker of warmth she felt in her once again when her arms wrapped around her. It was just a mere flicker of warmth but she would take anything she could get from the woman who had shut down and shut everyone out. That little effort on her part gave Snow a new will to fight as the tears poured on to her mother's skin, "I will find you in there mother."

"Don't waste your time dear."

Her empty voice was clear of any hope or fight, she had given up and that was devastating and she hugged her tighter as she continued to sob. She had ruined that joyous young woman that had saved her life so many years ago, broke her and darkened her, tried to mold her in to this life but there was no molding such a strong spirit. You had to break it to make it fit but then that spirit was damaged, warped, or gone entirely.

She shouldn't have gotten on that horse. She had been told she could not go on her own yet but she wanted to prove a point. Not only did her foolishness prove her incorrect, it cost her the life of an innocent woman. She was going to try everything to right that wrong.

...

That rock had hurt and when he brought his hand to his chin he found he was bleeding. It was soon forgotten however when he lifted his gaze back to the brunette thief galloping away on the grey horse. He grinned a wide grin and an excited laugh rose from deep within him, a new fire burning in his chest as he sprinted back toward the carriage, "give me a horse!"

Obediently a guard dismounted and stepped aside allowing him to quickly mount the bay horse's back and galloped off in pursuit of the brunette. It was an image he could never forget no matter how hard he tried. A strong fiery woman with beautiful long dark hair flowing behind her as she took off running on horseback.

No longer would he live under the thumb of king George, he would take his mother and he would hide her from the king's wrath. He was curious to see how the kingdom had fared since king Leopold's death but that was not the topic filling his mind. He was going to find Regina. But first he needed that ring.

...

"Snow White," he chuckled as the woman stopped struggling in the net at the sound of her name.

"How do you know my name?" She questioned and repositioned herself as best she could to look down at him. The laughing man unfolded her wanted posted and she closed her eyes and nodded as she smiled, "ah, I see, taking me to the queen then? Giving her my heart in exchange for a reward?"

"Oh no," he shook his head, "no I'd rather not have any dealings with the queen. From what I've heard she's not exactly pleasant," he was thrown off by the flash of guilt and sorrow that flashed over the princess' features. It was gone as quick as it came but it had been there, "these charges true?" he waved the paper in his hand.

Snow cleared her throat gently, "yes. Well, I don't recall anything about the murder but most certainly treachery and I suppose a little bit of treason...mostly treachery," she nodded and then rested her chin on the thick rope of the net, "why?"

James shrugged, "curious is all. A queen out for her princess' heart. Had to wonder if it was true."

"She has her reasons. I am certainly not proud of what I did to her. Especially considering she is my mother."

"Step mother."

Snow hummed as she smiled and shook her head, "she was a good mother to me. She tried very hard but in the end I failed her. Treachery is too soft a word."

"Interesting you feel such remorse for your actions against the woman who killed the king and is now out to kill you," he folded the paper back up and tucked it away as he looked up at the trapped woman with raised eyebrows awaiting an explanation.

Snow shrugged, "I'd be worried for my health if I didn't feel remorse. I do not exactly forgive her for my father but realistically I can't exactly blame her, not in the state she was in in the months before she had him killed. I'd be careful not to cross her path now though. She always finds those who have talked with me and now that you have I suggest you keep away from any mirrors."

"Why?"

"She uses them as windows," she replied simply and gave a small smile as she kept her head resting on the rope.

"Well thank you for that."

"Now it's not very polite to hang up a princess."

"It's not very polite to rob me or smash a rock against my face either," he smirked and folded his arms over his chest.

"Oh you're funny Charming," she gave him a sarcastic smile.

"I have a name."

"Don't care, Charming suits you. Now what do I need to do for you to cut me down?"

"My ring. I need it back."

"Don't have it. I sold it," she shrugged her shoulders and grinned down at him, "a girl's gotta eat."

"You sold it?! Go buy it back!"

Snow only laughed, "why? I'm sure you have plenty of others."

"That was my mother's ring, I intend to give it to someone."

"Please don't tell me it's the princess with the bad attitude!" She openly mocked him and let out a laugh.

"Are you asking for my hand? I'd be honored."

Her laugh was gone and she glared down at him, her lips pressed firmly together in a smile that resembled and snarl. The longer she remained silent the further the corner of his mouth pulled in to a grin, "just charming."

James breathed out a laugh at her frustration, "no worry not, it's not for you and it's not for Abigail either. In fact it's because of you that I'm getting out of that particular wreck of a marriage," he shot her a smile and she gave him confusion, her eyes were still narrow as she glared at him, "you reminded me of the woman I had to leave for this ridiculous predicament the king dropped me in and I need to find her now."

"And this woman. You know where she is?"

"I have absolutely no idea. I don't know who she is, I only know her name."

"Sounds like you're chasing a shadow."

"I very well could be," he agreed but then shook his head, "but I don't want to believe that the grief and anger that had consumed her before I found her only returned in my absence."

"Huh," she stated simply as she looked him over. For some unknown reason his story prodded something inside her and she felt the need to help this man find the woman he knew nothing about, "alright Charming," she quirked her head at the nickname, "I'll get you your ring back."

"It's very much appreciated your majesty," he pulled out his sword and as he bowed he cut the rope suspending her in the air and with a shriek she fell to the ground.

...

"Your majesty."

"Have you brought what I asked for?" She questioned the guard without turning to him but instead looked at his reflection in the mirror of her vanity.

"Yes. As you already know king George ran himself in to debt but the recent events of prince James marrying princess Abigail to save them from that debt have been put to a halt."

She went entirely still. She didn't even breathe. What did that news mean, "why?"

"Because, your majesty, the prince is dead."

She felt sick. Not dead, not another one dead.

"There is an imposter now that king George is after and many witnesses have put this imposter working together with Snow White but their intentions are unknown."

"Thank you," was all she could say and the guard gave her a small bow before turning and leaving. Her mouth opened in confusion and despair and her breathing went shallow and uneven. James was dead. Her shepherd was gone forever just as Daniel was. No tears came though. She was too tired to cry. She had lost all hope now. There was no cure for the dead. She had already tried.


	15. Chapter 15

**It is super early in the morning right now lol but I thought I'd post this for you before I went to work :) Regina and James were sooooo close to seeing each other hahaha but not yet! Let me know what you think! I'll be reading your reviews as they come :) **

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"Snow!" He hissed as he walked forward and gripped the bars of his cell, "what are you doing here?!"

"Oh you know, the usual," she spun on her toes as she danced her way up to him, "saving your sorry ass," she gave him a wide smug grin that didn't show her teeth.

"Oh ho funny!" He whispered and nodded his head sarcastically and she chuckled through her teeth, "you shouldn't be here!" his humor was gone.

Snow rolled her eyes and began working on the lock, "you can't very well find this Regina of yours if you're locked up in here now can you?"

"I would've managed."

"You would have managed without a head?" She paused and quirked an eyebrow as she looked up at him under dark eyelashes.

"Point taken," he nodded slowly and she continued her task, "why are you helping me? It's been nearly a year and you're still helping me on this practically impossible task."

Snow shrugged, "I want to help you. This Regina means a lot to you, that much is clear, you've spent nearly a year looking for her and then months before that missing her. If that's not love then I don't know what is. I believe she deserves to have the man that offers her such devotion and love, don't you?" she offered him a quick smile and then dropped her head again to the lock.

"Well thank you," he said softly.

"You're welcome," she looked up at him again with a smile that he returned this time, "besides," she shrugged and fiddled further with the lock, "one of these days I may need your help with my mother and you will owe me," she bit the tip of her tongue between her teeth in a grin as she rocked her head on her shoulders.

He let out a single laugh, "what could I possibly do to help you with her?!"

"I don't know right now," she laughed under her breath as she turned a piece in the lock, "but you never know. I may need an ally in my own quest to find someone I lost."

"You really believe she can come back don't you," it wasn't really a question, it was a statement filled with a sort of admiration.

"Yes I do, I know who she is and this 'Evil Queen' is not it," she shook her head and then they both froze. The door down to the dungeon had been opened and king George's voice could be heard just barely along with the quiet sound of an all too familiar low laughter, "no. No, no, no!"

"Just go!"

"No! She's here too! I'm not going to leave you here with the both of them playing tug of war with your life! I'm almost done," her hands moved frantically, twisting and turning, lowering and raising, footsteps growing nearer and George's voice getting louder.

"Snow!" He whispered in frustration, "it's both our heads or just one!"

"Got it!" She breathed out shakily and her hands pulled the lock from the door and as she opened the door she yanked on his arm, pulling him along behind her. She flung open the small door she had entered through, unnoticeable unless you were looking for it, "go, I'm right behind you," she nodded and pushed him in before swiveling in as well but not closing the door all the way. She hadn't seen Regina in a long time.

George was brought out of his rambling by a seemingly random dark laugh from the queen walking next to him. He looked up at her and her expression was entirely amused and when he followed her gaze he became absolutely furious.

"Seems your locks aren't truly what you make them out to be," she chuckled and kicked over the discarded lock. She stopped moving, her eyes not really looking at anything but her senses on high. Someone was watching her.

"You!" He pointed to the guards behind them and growled, "find him!"

Several other words and apologies and excuses left his mouth but Snow wasn't listening. She knew the very instant Regina stopped moving that she knew she was being watched. Her body went entirely rigid as though she had focused all her energy to listening or feeling for her audience's presence. Her blood ran cold as Regina's head swiveled slowly and stopped when they made eye contact.

It was like she knew exactly where she was the second she decided to move her head. She didn't move, neither of them did and Snow couldn't breath. Regina had gotten worse, her eyes were hard and her mouth set in a spiteful scowl, no remnants of the woman who once laughed so happily. Snow didn't hide how much it saddened her and she looked at Regina with a sad and heartbroken expression. It seemed like hours before Snow closed the door to break eye contact but really it was only seconds.

She dropped her forehead against the small wooden door and pushed her eyes closed. She was going to need something big to bring her back from this cold thick armor she had put in place. Just as she was about to leave her attention was caught by the muffled conversation on the other side of the door.

"How is this possible?!" He growled.

"I'd put my gold on Snow White."

"What makes you say that?" He snapped, "no one gets in here without being seen!"

Snow could feel the eye roll Regina gave him and she couldn't help but grin behind the door.

"There is always someone who can get in without being seen. Snow White is resourceful and her and this problematic man of yours have been galavanting about for nearly a year now, who else would break him out of this mere canary cage you call an impenetrable dungeon? Really George why your people haven't rebelled against you yet is beyond me. If you had half a brain you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place."

She had always had a quick tongue and combined with the heavily mocking tone Snow had to bite back a laugh. Even if she was out for her heart, she still admired Regina. Then it occurred to her that Regina knew precisely where she was and yet she didn't come after her, she didn't use magic, she didn't even tell George that she was just behind the door. In fact she could hear her walking away now. Why?

She found she didn't have an answer.

...

"Charming?!" She whispered as she emerged from the castle wall, crouched down so as not to be seen, "damn it Charming where are you?!" she hissed but there was no answer. A kind of panic and fear rose inside her and she jerked her head in every direction in search of him. Had he not made it out? Did he get caught again? Did they kill him? She was standing now and spinning around in a mad search for him.

"Snow," he whispered and she spun around with wide blue eyes, "relax I'm-" his quiet laughter ridden voice was cut short when she leapt forward and crashed her lips against his and gripped his face between her hands. It was unexpected to say the least and both of them tensed at the contact but his hands instinctively found her waist.

Her heart beat wildly against her ribcage, she didn't know what happened. She was standing and staring at him and then a split second later she was kissing him with no recollection of how she got from point 'A' to point 'B'. He was the first to relax and accept the kiss and she followed suit and relaxed in to him.

She pulled away but remained hovering over his mouth. Her breath was shaky and shallow, "uh," she gave a quick smile and a small nervous laugh before she stepped back, "I'm sorry," she shook her head and looked at the ground as she stood a fair distance away from him, "I don't know what came over me."

"That's alright, I don't mind," he smiled gently but she still couldn't look at him. He wasn't really bothered by it, a little perplexed of course but he couldn't help his growing smile.

"No it's not alright," she said quietly and brought her fingers to her forehead, "you are-we are looking for your Regina and now I've just gone and made things a whole lot more complicated than they need to be," she shook her head and breathed out a sigh. When she dropped her hand from her head and finally looked up she was startled to find him so close.

He struggled to keep a straight face as he leaned in closer, "no need to feel embarrassed. Like I said, I didn't mind."

Her lips parted beyond her control in a nervous anticipation for his kiss. She couldn't breathe and she could hear her heartbeat in her ears. She managed a small breath when he moved to close the distance but he laughed and walked past her leaving her flustered and gasping. A low laughter grew in her throat as her jaw dropped, "mean!" Her voice was higher pitched than she had wanted, still frazzled as she turned on her heels to face him.

He walked backwards with his arms outstretched on either side of him with a good humored grin. Her mouth was open wide with shock as she stared at him and laughed, he only shrugged.

"You are such-" she bent down and picked up a small round stone and threw it at him as she laughed. He dodged it narrowly and moved his hands in front of him to hit away any more rocks she may throw, "I saved your life!" She was still laughing under her breath.

"Yes but then you kissed me and threw a rock at me so..." He clicked his tongue and sucked in a breath through his teeth.

A loud and disbelieving laugh was pushed from her lungs and she pointed at him, "you're a dead man!"

He looked up and pointed at the ground, "now wouldn't that defeat the purpose of you saving me in th-" he cut himself short and spun around and began sprinting toward the tree line when she lunged forward and ran toward him with playfully murderous eyes.

"You can't run forever Charming!" She growled through her grin as they both laughed.

...

"How are you doing mother?"

"Oh I'm doing well," she smiled down at his and squeezed his shoulder as she walked around to sit next to him at the table, "I miss the openness the farm provided but it's nice here, much less work to worry about."

"Good," he nodded and smiled weakly and started to spin his cup between both hands as it rested on the table.

"What is troubling you dear?"

"You've been alone for awhile."

"I make do," she nodded, "you any closer to finding Regina?"

"No," he sighed and found himself staring in to the water in his cup, "Snow kissed me."

"Oh?" Ruth raised her eyebrows and changed her mind about takin a drink and lowered her cup from her mouth, "and?"

"And what?"

"Was it..." She lifted her hand and made a clumsy gesture in the air, "was it like a friendly peck or a...pin her against a tree and make her see stars sort of kiss?"

"Mother!" He chuckled self consciously and found his cup simply fascinating.

"Well?!" She stuck her hands out and chuckled.

He shook his head, unable to wipe the smile off his face put there by her bluntness, "it was a spirit of the moment thing, didn't last more than a couple seconds."

"Hmm and if you were to compare?"

He knew what she was asking and a longing frown saddened his features, "I don't like to compare."

"But if you were to compare?"

He breathed out a long sigh, "there was something there I think but...it wasn't what I felt with Regina. She stole my heart with one smile the first time I met her and I wanted so badly to call her mine and kiss her and, and hold her and when she let me do that, when she let me love her she turned my whole world upside down and I never wanted to go back. With Snow it's just different but I do think I could love her."

Ruth watched him with a warm smile as he worked through his thoughts. She knew very well that he loved Regina without a doubt in his heart only now he had almost another option and he was fighting with that.

"Do you think I'll ever find her?"

"Yes I do," she moved her hand to his arm and squeezed it, "and you do not get to give up until you have exhausted every single option okay?" She smiled when he breathed out a small laugh, "you know why?"

"Why?" He turned his head to smile at his aging mother.

"Because you love her," she whispered softly and ducked her head down and looked up at him. His smile saddened and he cocked his head.

"I miss her."

"I miss her too," she ran her thumb over his arm, "and you're going to find her and fix that for both of us. You are going to bring her to me and I am going to hug her and I'm probably going to cry," she laughed softly with her son, "and then I'm going to cry some more and I am not going to let her out of my sight as I am sure you're not going to either. Then I'll probably cry some more but," she lifted a pointed finger in the air and laughed a little louder with James, "the point is that you are going to find Regina and we are all going to be together again. Understood?"

"Yes mother understood," he shook his head and laughed, a new strength and sense of hope growing within him, "thank you."

"Of course! You are not the only one that is worried about her nor the only one that loves her."

...

Regina walked aimlessly around the palace grounds, her shoes left behind long ago so her bare feet padded silently on the sun warmed cobblestone outside. It was nice to feel something even just for a little while. She didn't hear the hoof beats canter up behind her, she didn't hear them when they slowed to a walk just outside her peripheral, she didn't hear anything at all until she was snapped back from her thoughts with a gentle nudge on her shoulder blade.

Startled, she stopped walking and turned around with wide eyes that soon softened, "Rocinante," she said her name lovingly and quietly and brought a hand up to stroke the mare's face, "how are you darling? I'm sorry I haven't come to see you in a while, it's been too long my dear friend," tears sprung to her eyes when the horse took half a step forward and dropped her head down so that it pressed against the length of her torso torso. Regina rested part of her weight against the mare's face and dropped her head on her crest between her ears and hung her arms behind her ears on her poll, "I see you still remember how to open your stall," she teased and a smile brightened her face, a very rare sight now.

They stood like that for a long time before Regina let go and backed up, lifting Rocinante's head so their eyes were at the same level, "how about we go for a ride hmm? Just you and me? Like we used to," she traced her finger around the corner of Rocinante's mouth and a quiet laugh rang from her mouth when she lipped at the perfectly manicured fingers. An even rarer sound.

"What do you say? You want to go and forget for a little while?" Another small quiet laughter was voiced when Rocinante nickered softly and perked her ears, "alright," Regina ran her hand down the soft brown fur of her neck as she walked to her side. Without a bridle or saddle Regina vaulted on and began adjusting the long skirt of her navy blue velvet gown, "it's been a while since I've had to do that," she huffed quietly and with the dress covering Rocinante's hind quarters and dropping down her sides to cover her bare toes she began playing with her mane.

"Take me somewhere," she said softly and the mare began walking to a destination she didn't know. Even after not spending much time with her as of late, Regina trusted Rocinante with her life, she was her oldest and dearest friend and she didn't even think twice about jumping on with no tack whatsoever. Her back felt different underneath her, not as smooth or cushioned as it once was but not uncomfortable, "you're getting old sweetheart," she smiled but it wasn't long before it saddened.

She knew she didn't have too many more years with her. It wouldn't be long before the only one she fully trusted left her life forever. What would happen when she lost her dearest friend? She shook her head at the thought and sniffed back her tears. She didn't want to think about being truly and fully alone with no one left to talk to.

To her small delight Rocinante did not walk to the palace gates but instead to one of the hidden entrances they had used many times in the past. No one had to know that she was leaving. It wasn't like anyone would miss her. Once outside the palace Rocinante picked up a steady canter on her own accord and followed a n invisible path that only she knew where it lead.

It was nice to focus on the simple task of keeping her balance as Rocinante moved the the forest with sure feet, never stumbling. It had been a long time since she had ridden bareback and even longer since riding with neither saddle or bridle. It calmed her, she was certain she would be a little stiff in the morning but she didn't care. The forest had overgrown, the paths she and Rocinante had made were nowhere to be seen but she didn't doubt that her horse knew where she was going.

For just that little while she felt at peace, she was where she belonged on the back of her treasured mare running freely through the forest. They were both older, yes, but she felt young again and with the way Rocinante tossed her head in delight every so often she knew she felt the same. Time could be cruel. Time is more cruel when you are alone.

Regina hummed a small loving sound when Rocinante broke gently in to a trot and then to a walk and snorted in pleasure as she shook her head in delight, "feels good hey," she smiled gently and ran her hand down her neck as she continued to walk toward the edge of the trees. She didn't know how long they had been gone, she wasnt keeping track but it was a rather long while since they had left. Suddenly things started to feel familiar and she looked around, "Rocinante where are we?"

Her question was answered the very second Rocinante stepped out of the trees and in to the field on top of the small hill. Regina's chest tightened uncomfortably and Rocinante came to a halt in front of the small home. It was abandoned, that much she could tell and she slid off the side of her mare and walked toward the empty home.

The cool green grass felt wonderful beneath her bare feet and her heart started to throb with the memories of her and James. The games, the work, the laughter, the conversations, the kisses, the family, the love, all of it flashed behind dark eyes that filled with tears. Their first kiss right there on the grass a few strides from where she stood, down the hill where she helped him chase sheep the first second time she saw him, over there she met Ruth for the first time and she treated her like a daughter, everything, everywhere there was a memory.

She couldn't breathe and she spun around, leaning forward with her hands balled into fists at her sides as she screamed, "why would you bring me here?!"

The mare stood still and watched her gently, unfazed by her pained screams.

"I don't want to be here Rocinante!" She screamed desperately and the tears streamed quickly down her fair skin. Then just like that the mighty queen collapsed to the ground and her nails clawed at the grass beneath her as she was torn apart by wracking sobs that alternated between silence and painful wails, "I don't want to remember Rocinante!" She shouted at her mare and then whimpered to herself, "I don't want to remember what I have lost."


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello again! We are getting so cloooooooose ;) lol! I'm sure a few of you are going to be growling and thrashing around with where I left it but hey I'm a little mean like that ;) however I will most definitely post the next chapter tomorrow so you won't have to wait long :) Enjoy! **

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She sat alone with her legs tucked up beside her as she stared at the fire burning in the dark when she heard foot steps closing in on her, "go away," she growled but the footsteps continued until they stopped behind her. She ignored their presence but her hard expression softened into confusion when a small cake was presented in front of her with a small lit candle stuck in its center.

She looked up to find Claude smiling down at her and she offered him a small smile in return but it quickly vanished as the tears pooled in her eyes and she jerked her head back down to look at the small cake in his hand.

"Happy birthday your majesty."

"Thank you Claude," she nodded her head through her tight and quiet voice and took the small cake gingerly from his hands as the tears start to fall. She couldn't even remember the last time someone had gone out of their way for such a small act of kindness toward her. It meant a lot. She didn't even know how many people knew when her birthday was anymore. It was her third since James' leave.

Claude moved around the small sofa and lowered himself down so that he balanced on his toes and sat on his heels. She tried to hide the fact that she was crying by bowing her head but he could see the tears sparkling on her cheeks in the light of the fire, "make a wish," he smiled softly but she shook her head slowly and kept her eyes down.

"No," she lengthened the word and smiled sadly down at the small candle, "I've tried many _many_ wishes over the years," her brow furrowed and her voice was small and quiet, "I stopped trying long ago."

He always knew there was a brokenness to her, that she really wasn't as dark as she showed herself to be. This encounter was one of the many more that proved his suspicions correct, "humor me," beautiful dark eyes flashed up underneath tear soaked eyelashes at his request. The pain in those eyes was enough to make it hard for him to breathe. Her cold mask was gone and sitting in front of him was a lonely broken woman.  
It troubled him to see such a beautiful woman so pained. He held her eye contact silently, praying she could find that younger woman with enough will and fight in her to disobey the king's direct order and run off to enjoy the simple pleasures in life.

Her face seemed to become more pained and she tried her very hardest to have her next breath come out steady but it shook and fresh tears fell from broken eyes before she blew a small breath and the candle stopped burning.

He smiled up at her and placed his hands on her knees, "maybe this time it will come true."

"I don't think it will," she shook her head and her voice cracked in to a whisper filled with despair.

"I believe it will."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because wishes always work when you have absolutely nothing else to turn to," he ran his thumb over her knee as she bowed her head once more and tried to swallow her cries but her body quivered with the effort. She was no evil queen. She was desperate, "what did you wish for?"

Regina breathed out a single small laugh and shook her head before lifting it to look at him, "can't tell you," she managed a weak smile as the tears continued to fall silently, "I'll lose all hope of it coming true."

"Ah see?" He smiled as he teased gently, his heart lifting as he saw the smile he hadn't seen in years, "you're very clever," he lifted one hand from her knee and pointed at her, earning him a small laugh. "There is always hope, your majesty," he gave her knee a comforting squeeze with his other hand before he stood up, "and hope is a very powerful thing."

She tilted her head back as he stood so she could look him in the eye, the small cake still between both her hands, "thank you," she whispered so quietly she nearly didn't hear it herself.

"You're very welcome," they both shared a smile before he walked away, leaving the queen with hope instead of anger and despair.

Regina looked down at the cake, her mouth seemingly set in a permanent frown, "I miss you my shepherd," she whimpered and slowly pulled the candle from the center of the cake and twirled it carefully between her finger and thumb, "I miss you more than you will ever know."

...

"I'm running low on options," he said quietly, his eyes focusing on nothing in particular as he kept his head dropped in something akin to defeat.

Ruth stopped washing the dishes and let the plate drop back in to the murky water as she turned to look at him. He looked tired and hopeless, "you've said that before."

"Yes but three years is a long time," he took a deep breath through his nose and sat back in his chair as he rubbed his face with both hands, "I've looked everywhere."

"There's always somewhere," she walked over to him, "have you looked up in the higher classes? She must have carried some weight if her opinion was respected by the king."

"Yes I looked through everyone with a fine toothed comb but there was no sign of her."

"Well have you tried using the ring?"

"The ring?" He furrowed his brow in confusion, "your ring?"

"Yes. My ring."

"No," he shook his head and furrowed his brow further. A hard smack upside the head started him, "ow!" He brought his hand to the back of his head and started rubbing it to soothe the sting left by his mother's hand.

"Why the _hell_ not!?"

"What do you mean?" He grumbled like a child and cringed slightly, it had been a long time since Ruth had ever needed to smack him. He had forgotten how much it actually hurt.

"Love follows that ring, it was given in an act of true love. Why do you think we keep our lover's rings even after their gone? Why do you think Regina carries that worthless ring her stableboy gave to her and not her husband's? Because it is absolutely priceless to her. That simple ring of hers as well as all the others given in love carry the magic of true love and that is the most powerful magic."

James brought his hand back down from his head to rest next to his other one on the table and cocked his head in thought. It made sense and it wasn't like he had any better alternatives, "you think it will help me find her?"

"Do you still love her?"

"With all my heart."

"Then I most certainly believe it will help you find her," she place both her hands on his forearm and gave it a firm reassuring squeeze. Then she was shaking her head, "I cannot believe you've been wasting all this time!"

"How was I supposed to know that a ring would help me find her?!" He defended as he laughed.

"Why the hell are you still sitting here?! Get out!" She pushed him repetitively as he scrambled to his feet and walked out the door, "go you fool!" She laughed as he stumbled out the door with a final push, "I'll be waiting for you."

James pulled the ring from his pocket and turned around to show it to his mother between his thumb and forefinger with a smile as he walked backwards. She shook her head and waved him on with a laugh, "I'll see you soon and I hope I'll have her with me," he gave her one last smile before he turned back around and spun the ring between his fingers.

...

James wandered aimlessly through the forest staring at the green stone set in the ring, "alright ring this is getting tiresome. Do you like...glow...or something?" He examined the ring closer and tried turning to face different directions as he walked in a straight line to see if the ring would change. Nothing. He sighed in frustration, "alright then how do you work?"

His thoughts were cut short and he was startled when his feet stepped on gravel rather than soft soil. He turned around and looked over his surroundings with nervous eyes. He was on a road. He must have been walking for a lot longer than he had thought for there were no roads near the cabin that he had hid his mother in.

"You look lost."

James spun around to find a tall man standing in front of him dressed in black armor. A guard of the queen, "no not really. Just wandering. It's good for the soul and clears your head."

He eyed over the blue eyed man in front of him, "is this him?"

A second man walked up from behind the first and studied him, "well would you look at that. Snow White's Charming just walked right in to the hands of the queen's men," he chuckled lowly and drew his sword, "come on then. Let's go."

James shook his head, "see I'd rather not. I'm sort of busy."

"I don't care."

He stood still and pushed the ring deep in to his pocket as the men started walking up to him. The taller one swung his sword first and James easily jumped out of the way and drew his own sword, "I'm _busy_!" He growled and lunged forward, his sword clashing with the other man's.

...

There were four guards. One in front of them leading the way, one tailing behind, and the other two on either side of him holding his arms roughly despite the rope that tied his hands tightly behind his back. More had come from their posts hidden in the trees along the road and he had killed many of them in his attempt to escape but there was a great deal of them and only one of him.

The palace was massive and the grounds were impeccably kept, something he hadn't quite expected from such a dark woman. She was after Snow for reasons only vaguely known to him. Something had caused the two to grow apart and she had grown to wish her dead. Snow knew what she had done to ruin her but she hadn't told him everything yet.

There were similarities to them. The long dark hair, the slim but strong stature, Snow's skin was fairer than hers but that wasn't huge. Their character was similar as well, both were fiery and had a skill at manipulation but used it only to play or to survive. When Snow would ride away from him he found himself standing on that hill with the sheep watching his precious Regina ride away only so she could come back. The only thing that got him was her eyes. Snow's were not even close, they were all the wrong colour. Regina's were dark and warm and troubled. He still missed her.

His heart still throbbed painfully at the memories. He had searched everywhere for her when he had escaped king George's grasp but try as he did he was unable to find her. He knew nothing about her, at least nothing he could use to find her. He hoped she was alright, that she had found happiness, that she had found a way to get away from her husband and step daughter or at least found a way to come at peace with them. But he also hoped that she was alone, not for her sake but for his so he could take her and finally call her his.

He lifted his head to the sound of hoof beats on the cobblestone of the courtyard. A smile lit up his face as he instantly recognized the horse with the white marking down her face. She was older now, she was older back then too but now it was starting to show. Her chestnut coat was still as healthy and shiny as ever and despite the way her age cause her eyes to sink and her withers and hips to show more prominently, she was well muscled and healthy.

The guards started to laugh quietly as she came to a halt and then turned and walked beside them. He smiled happily at the mare when she started to prance around him as though she was excited to see him again, "Rocinante," he whispered under his breath and her ears flicked toward him and she nickered softly like she always had when he called her name.

If she was here then perhaps his Regina was too. Her and her horse were almost always together, surely she could be here. He forgot about Snow and he forgot about the queen, his body filled with the hope that he may see Regina again. Perhaps the ring had led him to her.

"Will one of you fools take her back and make sure the stall is latched properly," he laughed under his breath, "the queen will not be pleased if her favorite horse runs off."

He smiled to himself knowing full well that Regina had taught her to open her stall so she could run to him. Seemed it had become a bit of a habit or a way to fix the boredom. The queen's horse. That made him angry. Rocinante was not the queen's horse, she was a dear treasure to his Regina not this queen using her name. He suddenly felt sick. The queen had taken this horse. What had happened to Regina? She would have been absolutely devastated. This queen was known for her cruelty, she ran the kingdom efficiently and very few went hungry but he had been told she was merciless and cold and would rip your heart out without batting an eye. To take a well mannered horse would carry no guilt in her heart. If she even had one.

Could Regina have been killed and Rocinante taken as a prize? He didn't even want to think about how the queen could have hurt her. His anger boiled inside him as the guard tailing behind slung a rope loosely around Rocinante's neck and led her away. He was saving this anger for the queen.

...

She had told her guards weeks ago that she wanted Snow White's dear Charming and she told them that if they were to fail they had better die trying. That girl did not deserve to have even the inklings love.

She rolled Daniel's ring in her fingers slowly, the chain warm against her neck but the ring cool in her fingers. It had been over a decade and a half since she had lost Daniel and just over three years since she had gone to the farm only to be told James wasn't to return. It had broken her heart all over again only that time she didn't have a whole heart to break.

She had had no one to help her when he had left. She had given up. She no longer had love in her life, it kept leaving resulting in her being alone and hurt. She had blocked herself from it now. She had never gone back to see Ruth, and she had never gone to look for her when she found the farm to be abandoned when Rocinante took her there. She was afraid that she too would leave her alone and in the dirt trying helplessly to pick up the pieces. She had decided that it would hurt less if she would be the one to leave instead but she didn't know if that was true. It still hurt.

She brought the ring to her lips and closed her eyes tightly. She didn't even have something of her shepherd's to remember him by. She only had the memory of his face and she had started to find that that image was beginning to fade. She didn't want to lose him entirely.

"Your majesty."

Regina cleared her throat and brought her hand from her mouth in no rush, "yes?"

"Snow White's Charming. He is locked in a cell, awaiting visitors."

She grinned at the wicked teasing tone he used and she turned to face him as she stood and walked toward him, "very good," she chuckled lowly and stopped in front of the guard, "I'm happy to see you're still alive and well Claude."

"Well I have no intention of dying and leaving you with these fools, my queen," he made a small motion with his hand and smiled back down at her.

"Yes, thank you for that," she had always liked him, he was the only one that took pleasure in talking to her. He was the only one that took the time to see if she was alright, he had earned her trust when he hadn't told Leopold of her sneaking off and the stunt with the birthday wish had her feeling a sort of fondness toward the man. Not love or anything of the sort but a simple friendship. Their conversations were often just simple bantering but it always lifted her spirits, "you're hurt," her brow furrowed in something akin to concern when she caught sight of the large gash on his side bleeding through his armor.

Claude lifted his left arm and followed the queen's gaze to his side, "oh. So I am. It appears that Charming fellow is rather skilled with a sword. I'll live," he shrugged but before he could lower his arm she drew hers forward and slowly moved her hand over the wound but didn't touch it. He could feel the pain start to ease in his side until it was gone and she pulled her hand back, "thank you," he said quietly, a little shocked that she had done such a thing.

"You're welcome," she smiled a little and then brushed it off, "can't have my best guard bleeding out and ruining the flooring," she smirked and then rocked back in a movement to straighten her posture, "now, shall we go take a look at this _Charming_?"

"It would be my pleasure," he bowed with a playful smile and outstretched his arms in to the direction they needed to go, allowing the queen to walk past him chuckling quietly to herself.


	17. Chapter 17

**It's tomorrow lol! I didn't want to keep you guys waiting too long, I'm not that heartless ;) now I've been asked a couple times about Thief Queen and I'm considering giving it a try BUT I'm not going to until I get a better grip on Neil's character otherwise it wont be all that great. EC will still be my first priority though so there won't be any alteration in their updates so you all don't need to worry if I ever do start another story :) anywho enjoy this reunion! There will be more of course in the following chapters and Regina will also get reunited with Ruth :) oh and READ THE ITALICS! DON'T BE LAZY! ;) **

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_"M'lady," he hadn't meant to startle her but he couldn't stop the smile that spread over his mouth as he bowed playfully. She had nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of his voice and now she looked at him with a sort of fear, as though she had been caught. It confused him, what could she be hiding from?_

_He came over because she was alone, alone and caught up in deep and unpleasant thoughts judging by the lines creasing her beautiful features, "may I ask why such a beautiful woman as yourself is wearing such a troubled expression?"_

_"I have many troubles," no one had ever approached her while she was down there, she was still unsure if the young man did in fact know she was queen or if he was just being overly polite._

_"I would like to hear them," he straightened his posture and smiled down at the brunette sitting on the back of a wagon._

_"No you wouldn't."_

_"But I would," it was as if no one had ever bothered to talk to her. It was strange to him, he imagined that she would be tired of people talking to her._

_She looked up at him with doubt playing on her face, "why?" He was handsome, younger than her but older than Snow, each by a couple years. He was by no means wealthy but he stood with such pride and confidence, like she had when she was younger._

_"Because you look like you need to talk," he didn't want to see such a beautiful woman in such discomfort. Beautiful women like herself should be smiling and enjoying themselves._

_"Why should I tell you? I do not even know your name."_

_His smile only widened, "that is the beauty of it," the way she cocked her head in a question and her hair tumbled over her shoulder made his heart skip, "you can tell me anything you want because you don't fear my judgement. People do not fear what a person with no name will think of them. A person with no name can not cause nearly as much harm as a person with a name."_

...

"I want to talk to him alone."

"Of course. I will remove the guards from their post."

Regina nodded and waited as Claude walked on ahead to the cells. She gently cleared her throat and smoothed the dark purple silk over her stomach. The dress' colour was verging on black giving it a wonderful contrast to her skin. It was simple in design really but no less bold. A simple long skirt that hung from her hips trailed behind her as she walked, the silk seemed to be painted on her torso and the low cut neckline really only covered her breasts while pushing them up causing any lustful eyes to drop. The sleeves were long and the gown fit her impeccably, giving her a wonderfully striking silhouette.

Half her hair was up, leaving the bottom half to fall to the middle of her back in loose curls. Her lips were painted to exaggerate their natural colour and her eyes were coloured with various purples, blacks, and neutral skin tones to give them a dark and edgy appearance. She straightened her posture and cleared her throat when she heard the guards grow near.

"Thank you," she nodded as they walked past her, nodding their heads in polite bows. She had never really liked it when they bowed to her whenever they saw her. Putting on her infamous smug grin she walked down the tunnel with arrogant and powerful strides. She felt a small sense of approval and excitement when she found the man with his back turned to her. His slumped posture straightened and tensed at her approaching footsteps and she laughed menacingly under her breath. But then he turned around.

She stopped dead, her eyes widened and her lips parted in nothing but shock at the face that looked back at her. She was frozen in place and the anger that pulled on his features faded and recognition and joy replaced it. She simply couldn't move. She couldn't pin down any one emotion or sensation, it felt like everything at once and nothing at all. He was dead.

It couldn't be. But it was. She stood in front of him now, right there on the other side of the bars, a few large strides from him. The woman everyone referred to as the evil queen was in fact not that at all. She was his dear Regina. If not for the bars he would have run to her and held her once again and would not let go. There was a long silence between the pair as they both shared a purely shocked expression. He stepped forward and held a cold metal bar in each hand and smiled at her, beyond happy to have found her even if it was under rather unconventional circumstances, "may I ask why such a beautiful woman as yourself is wearing such a troubled expression?"

She felt the lump rise in her throat as those oh so familiar words echoed in her head from years ago, "I have many troubles," she had never forgotten. She couldn't count the number of times she had repeated that conversation in her head.

"I would like to hear them."

Her voice quieted in to a sad and broken whisper as the tears built up in her eyes "no you wouldn't."

He nodded gently, "but I would," at that the tears finally began to fall down her cheeks and he smiled gently at her. He didn't want to see her cry. He knew she would but he didn't want her to.

She had believed him to have left her forever, she had been told he was dead. Yet here he was in front of her remembering her as if they had met yesterday. She wanted nothing more than to run to him and fall in to his arms and let him hold her like he had done years ago. But now he was taken and he was taken by Snow White no less. It crushed her heart.

"James," she hadn't spoken his name since the last time she had seen him, "where did you go?" Her voice shook noticeably, almost a whimper, "I thought you were dead."

The soft heart break that kept her voice hushed tore him up inside, "king George made a deal and I was forced to stand in as prince. Apparently I had a twin brother and we shared a name. He's dead and that's why the king wanted me. Regina," he would expand later but now he shook his head and his voice caught in his throat, "I can not begin to tell you how sorry I am," he could see her eyes shone with more tears even in the darkness of the dungeon. He had no idea that the Regina he had known all those years ago was the same Regina everyone knew as the evil queen. He never connected them, how could he? The Regina he knew was not evil or cold. She was quite the opposite.

It seemed so painfully obvious now. The good woman warped in to darkness by magic and lost love, the step daughter she loved and wanted dead, the loveless marriage, the secrets, the threat of danger she had warned him of. Her name. All so obvious.

"What happened to you? When did you become queen?"

She shook her head and lowered her gaze to the ground, "I've been queen since before you knew me."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You never asked."

"Regina," it was soft and gentle, coaxing her to explain further.

Tears fell faster and she drew in a shaky breath through parted lips that could easily be classified as a cry. No one said her name like that anymore. Her name was said with fear, hate, and anger, never gently and never with love, not anymore.

"I was never happy here, I wanted to be...me," she shook her head again and met his eyes once more through her tears, they took her breath away, she never thought she'd see them again and she struggled to continue, "I could only do that if you didn't know who I was and I didn't want you to get hurt," her voice started to shake and she pushed her eyes shut and bowed her head in attempt to swallow down the tears. She could feel it. All that pain, heartbreak, loneliness, fear, need, joy, and love, all of it bubbling up to the surface and forcing the coldness out.

Under the elaborate make up, hair, and gown he could still see the bright and simple woman that he had known. He could see clearly that this was all a mask, a fragile facade that she had constructed to keep from getting hurt again. He couldn't help but feel guilty knowing that he had caused her to get hurt again like she had been before he met her.

She waved her hand and the cell door opened with ease, "please go. You don't deserve to be thrown in to this, you were never anything but kind to me," her voice quivered as she recalled the time they had spent together, "go, please. Go back to Snow and I promise I will keep anyone from ever hurting you," she met his blue eyes with saddened and broken dark ones as he stepped out of the cell and walked slowly toward her shaking his head. The blue was unreadable as he stepped closer and she darted her eyes between them, trying hopelessly to read them anyway.

He came to assume that she believed there to be more between him and Snow than there actually was. He stopped inches in front of her and she stood unwavering despite the way her eyes were filled with pain and uncertainty. The trust she had put in him all those years ago was shattered, there was no doubt. She willed herself to stay strong but he wished she wouldn't, he wanted her to give in to him like she had before and let him hold her up. He moved his hands up to gently hold her face and at his touch her features became conflicted with relief and panic. He needed to know if it would feel the same to kiss her now as it did when they were younger and less burdened.

He moved in slowly, painfully slowly. She couldn't breathe, her chest felt heavy and her lungs simply refused to release the air inside them. She didn't know what she wanted but it seemed her heart had gone against her mind and remained standing, however shakily, in front of her shepherd. The same man she had thought to be dead years ago. The man who she had thought had left her alone. The man who had broken his promise to always be there for her. The man who had hurt her. Now he was so close. She hoped it was real. She had lost _so_ much.

Her lips parted instinctively as he came increasingly closer and the very instant his lips touched hers a small gasp and a quiet sound resembling a whimper escaped her and her body shivered, recoiling slightly as though she had been burned but she didn't go far, only enough so the contact broke momentarily. He didn't falter and when his lips closed so gently around hers, her walls went cruelly tumbling down and she was left raw and entirely heartbroken, the same painful state she had found herself in when he had left her alone all that time ago. The tears were quickly streaming down her cheeks as she gave in to him, her cries muffled by his mouth against hers but with every small moment they broke for air her shaking cries could be heard. She was so tired.

He knew his precious girl was in there, over taken by the pain and darkness but she was still in there. His beautiful, precious girl with the bright smile, warm eyes and freeing laughter was still in there. She just needed help to be found once again. His thumbs ran over her soft cheeks slowly, wiping away the tears but they were quickly replaced. He didn't deepen the kiss, there was no need and she was finding it difficult to fight back her cries enough to kiss him back at all. He pulled away slowly and his heart physically hurt at the sight of her.

The tears rolled down her cheeks, her dark eyes lost with pain, red lips parted with sadness, her heart and mind unsure of what to do, her body quivering with the cries that fought to be heard, "I never stopped loving you," he shook his head slowly and let his own tears fall as he caressed her cheek with his thumb. Her body went suddenly limp and she fell in to him, no longer containing the strength to stand in front of him let alone stop herself from crying. He caught her and held her tight as her painful sobs tore through her, shaking her body violently against his. He had had no idea the amount of pain his disappearance had caused her.

Her knees give out and she sobbed against him because she had no other way to express the joy and relief that she no longer had to be alone, that she no longer had to fight to hold herself up, that he was alive and holding her up instead and allowing her to rest.

She clung to him, balling her hands in to tight fists to hold on to the back his shirt and her arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, afraid that if she were to let go he would disappear and she would be alone again in the dark. She never thought she would ever be in his arms again, they were just as she had remembered them, strong, safe, loving. Those memories flashed behind her closed eyes and she cried harder in to his chest and gripped her hands tighter.

He didn't know what to say, there were no words to portray how sorry he was for causing her such indescribable pain. No words of comfort for such hurt woman. To have love ripped from her twice. It was not fair. He held her up, easily supporting her full weight against him as she cried through her hurt and relief. He pushed his eyes closed and turned his head in to hers, tears running down his face. He had always been looking for her, for his Regina. He didn't want to lose her again and he pulled his heartbroken girl impossibly closer, "I've got you now," he whispered in to her hair, "we are going to be okay."

He smelled just as she had remembered and that scent enveloped her and filled her senses as she cried it to his chest. His arms were slightly bigger and stronger but they were no less loving or gentle as he held her up and held her close. The hard cold armor around her heart had been breached and he had found his way in once again and she felt nothing but warmth and relief, something she hadn't felt since he had left. It made her happy, an emotion not frequently felt and she started to laugh through her cries.

She lifted her head from his chest and looked up at him with a smile as the tears continued to stream quickly down her face. Her happy and unsteady laughter continued quietly as she let go of his shirt and brought her shaking hands gently to his face. The instant her fingers touched the rough stubble a short joyous laugh escaped her lips and she moved her fingers over his face, tracing his jaw, running her thumb over his bottom lip, following the line of his brow with her fingertips, his face was the same, a little worn from the years and an added small scar on his chin but other than that it was the same.

He smiled softly at her, admiring her, soaking in her laugh as soft fingers remembered his face. He couldn't recall a time when he was more at peace. He had missed her so much and now she was finally in his arms once again and he never wanted to let go.

Her voice was a shaky mixture of laughter and cries but she managed to get the words out quietly, "my shepherd," fresh tears fell down her cheeks and she breathed out a small and quiet happy laugh when he leaned in to her right hand as she ran her thumb over his cheek bone.

He hadn't been called that in too long, "hello," he smiled down at her and her smile widened and her dark eyes brimmed with more tears to add to the ones trailing down her face.

"Hello."


	18. Chapter 18

**Ooooooooh my god I am sooooo sorry! It really should not have taken this long! Hopefully some sexy time still at least sort of make up for it ;) lol! Enjoy! **

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She sat curled in to him, her head laying on his chest, listening to the crackling of the fire in front of them but more so to the heart beat inside him that was strong and alive as she watched her hand that laid flat on his chest next to her face. His arms were wrapped securely around her, his left between herself and the back of the couch to curl around her waist and his right crossed over himself so his hand held her upper arm below her shoulder. She had given her guards no explanation when they had walked out and up in to the castle hand in hand and often stealing glances at the other but that was not important right now. She would deal with that another time.

They had been talking for hours about things that were important as well as things that were not so much and there was still so much to be said. Regina smiled and started to laugh softly, "did you ever learn to mount a horse bareback from the ground?"

There was a hesitance to his answer and he laughed quietly, "no."

"Over three years of running and you never bothered to gain that skill?" She teased gently and nuzzled her face deeper in to his chest.

"The horses I borrowed always had a saddle," he defended with a laugh.

"Oh yes borrowed, you only borrowed," she tilted her head back so her chin rested on his chest as she smirked at him.

James shook his head down to her so their noses brushed and her face scrunched playfully, "I didn't steal them, that would require me keeping them. I always let them go back."

"So honorable."

He chuckled softly, "well I was looking for you, honor wasn't exactly my first priority."

"Well what took you so long?" She grinned and then lowered her head back down on his chest and her eyes found her fingers again, "it's not like I was hiding."

James let out a loud laugh and shook his head, "no, no you most certainly were not," they both laughed quietly and he pulled her closer. As their laughter subsided she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself up a little higher so her face rested in the nook of his neck.

He smelled good, she hadn't realized how much she had missed it until she had it back. She took a deep breath, inhaling his scent and then exhaling with a soft hum, "I made a wish on my birthday," she whispered, not entirely aware that she was saying it until she had said it.

"Yeah?" He smiled and lowered his head on top of hers.

"Yeah," she breathed out a small laugh, "I wished I could be in your arms again," her voice cracked as the tears pricked behind closed eyelids once more and she tilted her head up slightly to nuzzle in to his neck further, "I never thought it would come true."

"Well I'm happy it did."

"Me too," she smiled against his neck and felt his pulse run steady beneath the corner of her mouth. It was proof that he was really alive and holding her and she turned her head just a little further so she could feel it move against sensitive lips as she kissed his neck softly and then rested her forehead and the bridge of her nose against his neck.

They had both been dancing around the subject, both waiting for the other to ask but neither wanting to. She knew she wasn't going to be able to truly relax until she got the answer so in their comfortable silence she mustered up enough will to ask quietly, "what about Snow?"

"What do you want to know?"

"I-" her voice failed and her face creased with worry. She almost didn't want to know the answer, "do you...love her?" She waited unmoving and tense, listening carefully, the short silence deafening.

James shook his head and moved his thumbs over her arm, "no," she relaxed instantly and he tightened his arms around her, "she is a close friend and I am fond of her but our relationship has never surpassed a small handful of kisses shared either in the spur of the moment or as a means of keeping character while sneaking our way in to settings we weren't permitted to be in while we searched for you," he felt her brow furrow against his neck and it was like a stab in his chest, "she's been at my side for three years," he continued softly, "she's been working to help me find you, she never wanted any more from me than a loyal friendship and neither did I. I don't love her any more than two good friends love each other."

Regina nodded slowly, again surprised that she trusted him instantly like she had when they had first met, "okay," she whispered against his neck and nuzzled her face in deeper.

He let go of her with his right hand and moved it up to push her hair behind her ear and repeated the motion several times when she smiled against his neck, "what about you? Anyone I need to know about?" he asked and then continued gently when her smile faded, "I know you believed me to be dead, I am not upset with you, not at all. I just want to know you."

Regina tightened her arms around him, afraid he may leave her, "just the huntsman," she whispered, "right now it's only him. There were a couple before him but I'm sure not as many as people have rumored. The only reason I've kept him around is because if I closed my eyes," she started to shake and her already quiet voice ran sad and became even smaller, "I could pretend he was you," she closed her hands, bringing fistfuls of his shirt in her fingers.

A wave of sadness washed over him and it hit him hard, knocking the breath right out of him. "Oh," he breathed out slowly and quietly and he held her head close against him while his other hand pulled her in to him, "Regina," he whispered and kissed the side of her head, "please tell me you've had a friend while I've been away?" His voice was full of hope and he tightened his arms around her.

"Claude is the closest thing to a friend I've had," she whispered, her throat thick with the heavy loneliness she had felt over the years.

"Who is Claude?" He asked gently and began running his fingers through her hair above her ear again.

"He's my favorite guard," she replied and then shrugged as the teasing tone began to return to her sad voice, "I know I shouldn't pick favorites but," a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth when James' chest bounced with a soft laughter, "he is. He is the one I gave the money to when I was visiting your mother on the farm and he kept my secret without anything in return," her hands still held fistfuls of the back of his shirt but they weren't as tightly clenched anymore. She couldn't explain what a relief it was to have him back and to be talking to him and laughing with him like they used to.

"He is the only one that really talks to me...he brought me a small little cake on my birthday and convinced me to make a wish," she smiled softly against his neck, soothed by his fingers running through her but fighting off sleep.

"Well he sounds like a good man."

"Yes. And you stabbed him with your sword."

James couldn't help but laugh quietly as he shook his head, "I'm sorry, if I had known what he had meant to you I wouldn't have."

"I had to fix him myself, the idiot didn't even notice he was bleeding all over my castle!" James started to laugh louder at the good humored critical tone she used, holding it back as best he could but his shoulders were bouncing and he turned his head in to hers in an attempt to keep quiet, "it's not funny!" But her words danced off her tongue as she started to laugh as well, "word gets out I will heal wounds with my magic people are never going to stop knocking on my door!"

"I'm sorry," he laughed quietly and shook his head against hers. He had forgotten how much he loved to laugh with her.

Regina raised her eyebrows and nodded against his neck, "you should be," she laughed with him, enjoying the light atmosphere of the room that had almost always been heavy and dark. Her cheeks were hurting, she hadn't smiled let alone laughed this much since the time she had spent at his side before they had said good bye. Slowly their laughter faded and she nuzzled her face against his neck, the side of her head laying on his shoulder and her arms still wrapped around his neck.

"You're tired, love," he said gently, a warm smile on his face as he traced her hairline behind her ear with his fingers.

Regina hummed softly, "yes I am."

"You should sleep."

Regina shook her head and watched the dying fire through heavy eyelids, "I don't want to sleep," she allowed her eyes to fall closed and instantly sleep threatened to take her, "I don't want to fall asleep to wake up and find this was just a dream," she turned her head and left a gentle kiss on his neck. Strong arms held her close and a kiss was given on the top of her head in return. Her voice was small, nearly inaudible, "I am scared it will be."

"Me too," he whispered and tightened his arms around her so it became impossible for her to slip from them. He was aware that he may be holding her too tight, that he may crush her but she didn't protest so he didn't let up his grip around his precious girl, the girl he got to see again that night as she laughed with him until the pain from her dark eyes had at least faded.

...

Regina woke up slow, she didn't sleep completely through the night very often and when she did her dreams kept her from sleeping well. She couldn't remember any dreams she may have had last night and her body was entirely relaxed and warm. It felt good to move and fantastic to stretch as she arched her back and pulled her shoulders up to stretch her spine, taking a long deep breath through her nose that filled her lungs entirely and she held it for a moment before letting it rush out through her nose again.

As she exhaled she nuzzled herself back in to the warmth that surrounded her, not yet fully aware that it was another body. She flexed the muscles in her arms, unbending them just enough to stretch but found herself not wanting to let go of whatever her arms were holding. She moved her fingers next, flexing them quickly and sequentially and then started gently playing with the short hair on the back of his head.

She furrowed her brow with slight confusion when she came to realize what she was doing and then she became aware that her movement was restricted by something heavy wrapped around her. She was laying on someone and those were arms that kept her from moving too far. Her throat went dry with a sort of fear as she remembered the events of the day before. Slowly she blinked her eyes open, she couldn't be sure it was him. Silently she took a deep breath and tilted her head back to look at his face.

It was him. She released that breath shakily and tears pricked her eyes as she looked upon the peaceful face of her sleeping shepherd. It wasn't a dream and that hit her hard. He was really there, he was back in her arms and she in his, he was back, she wasn't alone anymore and she knew he would keep her from falling further into darkness. He was her life line, the last one she had had, the one that she was certain had been cut off.

She smiled as the tears continued to fall and she brought her left hand from around his neck and gently followed the line of his cheekbone with her fingertips. She felt herself start to shake slightly with the effort it took to stay quiet and let him sleep and not wake him with happy laughter and relieved cries.

All of those happy memories flooded her mind again and they only made the tears fall faster. Riding with him, playing with him, laughing with him, kissing him, being held by him, loving him. It all came back at once. Slowly she became aware of his arms tightening around her shaking form as he began to stir.

"Regina?" He asked groggily and softly as he looked around the room trying to recall where he was. The soft hand holding his jaw as a thumb caressed his cheekbone brought his attention to the woman he was now aware he was holding. He met her eyes and the dark brown was filled with joy and hope. There was a smile brightening her face and she was trying with all her might to keep herself from crying.

"You're here," she whispered and then pushed her lips together in a smile.

James smiled back down at her and nodded, "you're here," the words reassured both of them and her smile grew to flash white teeth beneath red lips and tears as a soft laughter filled the room originating from his beautiful brunette. Gently he repositioned them so they both sat up in front of each other and he held her face in his hands and her hands hung lightly on his wrists. He shook his head sadly at the tears in her eyes and down her face, "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

"But last time-"

"Not this time," she shook his head again and wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

"But what if-"

"No," he said definitively but gently as he caressed her cheek bone with his thumb. A lump formed in his throat when she leaned in to the gesture, her eyes still filled with tears and a worried doubt.

"I love you," she whispered timidly.

To hear those words from her again, he just couldn't describe what that felt like. His laugh was happy, excited, relieved, and quiet as the tears started to pool in his own eyes, "you have no idea how much I've missed hearing that from you," he breathed out another laugh and then pulled her in to a kiss. A proper kiss that only two lovers could share, a kiss that had been postponed because they got caught up in a conversation that lasted hours and that was okay. He loved talking to her, he missed it, it was what they had done when she would come and meet him because for the longest time he wasn't able to kiss her.

He was glad it was this way, that he waited to kiss her and that she waited to kiss him. There was still more to talk about, there always is but now they both knew it was real and that they were together again and now he could kiss her like he had wanted to for the last three years.

Her hands still held his wrists and and his still held her head as he kissed her softly. It was like kissing her for the very first time again. Her lips were warm and soft as they moved tentatively with his. It was she who flicked her tongue over his bottom lip in a silent request for more that he was more than happy to accept.

He opened his mouth and her stomach filled with a fluttering warmth when his tongue moved over hers. She had forgotten what it had felt like to be kissed by someone who loved her and took great care in kissing her. Taking a deep breath through her nose as she continued to kiss him, she slid her hands from his wrists, down his arms, and up his chest before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling herself closer so she was practically on his lap.

Their movements remained slow as they savored their kiss, neither wanted anything more just yet. As she had moved closer his hands fell from her face to remove his arms so leather could touch silk and he moved his arms behind her and spread his hands out to keep her close, one hand just below her shoulder blades and the other at the small of her back. She was in his mouth now, remembering him and learning him again as she tasted him. She caught him by surprise, a very pleasant surprise at that when she moved her tongue over his in a manner that always made him moan and pull her closer. He wasn't expecting for her to remember that, he had almost forgotten himself.

She grinned with an open mouth during a quick momentary break for air, thoroughly pleased with herself at the sound she was still able to bring out of him. She continued to smile when he increased the pressure of his hands on her back, pressing her harder against him before the split second break ended and their kiss continued as a low chuckle vibrated in her throat. She received a quick chastising bite on her bottom lip for laughing and she knew it was all in good fun, confirmed when he smiled against her mouth.

They stayed like that, foreheads and noses touching as they rested against one another with wide happy smiles. Her fingers began drawing small circles in his hair on the back of his head, "I love you Regina," he took his time saying the words as he smiled and pushed his nose against hers causing her to scrunch her face and laugh softly.

"I love you too," she whispered and felt tears threatening to build up behind her eyes. He made her happy and every time he spoke to her so kindly it lifted her tired heart a little closer to the surface. Her smile was still set in place, as was his while they took time to enjoy being so close, "let's go eat."

"Yes please," he laughed and she captured his lips in a quick kiss before pulling away and taking his hand in hers as she stood up and watched him with a smile.

...

She lifted another blueberry high in the air with her magic and then let it fall in to her mouth, "oh I have a question," she smiled as she chewed the berry and lifted another from her palm and in to the air.

James took a bite of his apple, "alright shoot," he smiled and watched the berry in the air. He sat with his back against the headboard and his legs outstretched in front of him while she laid on her back with one knee bent and her head on his lap, their bodies perpendicular to each other and her deep purple gown splayed over the bed.

"Have you ever," she released the berry and paused her question, expecting the berry to land in her mouth but James' hand reached out and caught it before it did. She turned her head and looked at him, the berry laying on his open palm as he grinned down at her. She raised her eyebrows and nodded once at him, "rude," then she flicked her finger and the berry launched itself from his palm and hit him in the eye.

"Ow!" He yelped more from surprise than anything else and clapped a hand over his eye and looked down at the laughing brunette with his projectile free eye as he started to laugh with her.

Regina shook her head as she laughed at him and lifted another berry in to the air, "have you ever had chocolate?" She chuckled and let the berry fall and this time it landed in her mouth.

James rubbed his eye and dropped his hand as he laughed at the playful behavior she still possessed, "I've had chocolate on things or mixed in to things but never on it's own and not since I was just a boy."

"Well we have to fix that," she nodded through a mischievous grin as the remaining berries in her palm were exchanged for an assortment of small chocolates. She hummed thoughtfully as she looked over them, "these ones," she plucked a chocolate from her hand and showed it to him, "are filled with a softer chocolate on the inside. Delicious," she nodded and popped it in her mouth.

"Oh and these ones!" She picked up another and presented it to him between her finger and her thumb as she swallowed the first chocolate, "are filled with this cherry cream or something, I don't exactly know what it is but it's to die for," she rolled her eyes dramatically and dropped it in her mouth.

James breathed out a laugh as she moved her attention back to her handful of chocolates, "why aren't you sharing?" he whined playfully.

Regina grinned as she chewed and then turned back to him with a new chocolate before she swallowed the rest of the cream filled one, "now these ones-" she was cut off abruptly when James bent his legs, lifting his knees and pushing her upward with them so he could kiss her. She laughed against his mouth at his sudden movement and opened her mouth for him to taste the remaining chocolate on her tongue.

She sat sideways in front of him, her head turned so it ran parallel with her shoulders as she kissed him. She brought her arm around his neck to hold him in place, the single chocolate still held between her finger and her thumb while her other arm remained out at her side, away from him and balancing the small pile of chocolates in her hand. She melted in to him, moaning softly as he kissed her.

The chocolate was sweet and the cherry filing was delicious and his method of tasting made it all the more satisfying. With a final swipe of his tongue that caused her to shudder with pleasure he pulled away with a grin, "amazing."

She remained close to him, only inches apart, "these ones," she whispered as she brought her hand from around his neck and put the chocolate in his mouth, pulling her finger from his mouth when he closed his lips around it, "are my favorite," she stared at his mouth, a sudden heat flowing through her as her heart began to pound in her chest.

The chocolate had the perfect sweetness and the perfect texture and it made his mouth water, "I can see why," he whispered and she let out half of a single quiet laugh and a flash of a smile without looking at him and when she did look at him she was a little nervous and that was probably due the the sudden amount of lust in her eyes.

Without missing a beat he leaned in and kissed her, pulling her head up to his with his hands now on either side of her face. The sound of what must have been the remaining chocolates in her hand being dropped on to one of the half eaten plates of food reached his ears and she began to move. Without breaking off their passionate kiss save for the small gasps of air, she repositioned herself so she straddled his thighs and began blindly navigating the ties keeping his leather coat closed.

He slid his hands down her neck and beneath her long hair and began unbuttoning the long line of small rounded buttons from their designated loop. Her fingers moved at a steady pace and when she finished the last tie he was down to the middle of her back. He let go and helped her tug off the coat leaving him in a loose ivory shirt with a small v in the neck laced together with a tie but not tied together.

He pushed his back off the headboard, moving closer to Regina as she kissed him with strong and passionate movements and desire filled nips and kisses over his jaw and neck while she found the hem of his shirt. His breathing was heavy and his focus on the buttons weaker than he wanted it to be as she lavished him in soft wet kisses over his skin and slowly pulled his shirt up. With the last button finally open he lifted his arms to allow Regina to pull the white cotton over his head and toss it to the floor.

Her lips connected with his shoulder and her fingertips rested lightly on his hard chest as she continued to kiss him, dragging her lips lightly over his skin between kisses. When she left a kiss on his jaw he turned his head toward her and they both hovered for a moment with their eyes focused on the other's mouth. He closed the distance between them, pushing her head back slightly with the sudden need he felt.

The taste of chocolate lingered in both their mouths and her senses were on high at the soft touch of calloused fingers over her bare back and up over her shoulders where he began to push the silk from her body. She removed her arms from the closely fitted fabric and he pulled her closer so skin was against skin. He was warm and strong and she relaxed against him, her arms wrapped around his head and neck as she kissed him.

She moved with him when he rolled forward on to his knees and laid her down on her back, not that she had a choice in the matter with the way he held her so close. He pulled away slowly and kissed her neck, lingering on her pulse before traveling downward and pushing the gown off her hips and hooking his thumbs in black panties to pull them down as he went. Regina laid entirely bare underneath him, smiling happily with her arms laying above her head bent comfortably at the elbows while his large hands moved heavily over her body.

They started at her knees, one bent just enough for her foot to sit flat on the bed. From there they moved up her thighs and over her hips and as they reached her waist he began to lower back on top of her. His core muscles flexed wonderfully in the small effort it took not to fall on her when his hands reached her ribs and then moved against the sides of her breasts.

She hung her arms around her shepherd's neck when he hovered over her mouth and she waited with lips parted in anticipation, his hot breath skimming her lips and jaw. He caught her lips in a soft kiss before he pulled back again and then repeated the action, pulling her bottom lip in to his mouth before letting it go again. Regina lifted her head from the bed and flicked her tongue over his bottom lip, making him follow her as she backed away slightly before moving forward again to catch his lips in a kiss.

"Regina," he whispered her name softly, full of desire and lust before he dropped down and kissed her again. He moved his tongue with hers as he took a hand from her side and moved it down between them and slid his fingers inside her. She moaned in to his mouth and and bucked softly in to his touch. His fingers moved slowly and her breath started to grow heavy and short and her kisses became clumsy as pleasure warmed her body. She arched her back into him, soft breasts pressing against his hard chest as she dropped her head back in a moan and brought her knee up to grip against his side. One arm was slung around his neck and her other hand held his shoulder, her nails digging in to his skin whenever his fingers threatened to push her over.

She was beautiful, a vision of ecstasy as she whimpered and hissed under his touch. He watched with parted lips and heavy breaths, unable to pull his eyes from her as he helped hold her up with a hand between her shoulder blades as he continued his movements inside her with his other hand.

She was getting close but she didn't want it to end so she held on to enjoy it as long as possible. She breathed out a quiet pleasured moan as his lips trailed down her skin, kissing her neck and chest between heavy hot breaths. He pushed her right to the edge and then removed his fingers much to her dismay and she whimpered in protest as she ground her hips against him seeking release.

He kissed her slowly as he lowered her back down on to the bed despite her quiet protesting. He sat up and quickly removed his pants before dropping back down on top of her. Instantly their kiss deepened and as he guided himself in to her she opened her mouth in a gasp that grew in to a groan as he began to thrust slowly, all protests were forgotten.

Their lips brushed against each other in time with his movement, breathing the same air as his hand moved up her side to hold her ribcage, his thumb under her breast and his fingers bent around toward her back. She writhed underneath him, her moans growing in to choked screams and she pushed her head back in to the bed as he quickened his pace just a little.

Nails dug in to his lower back as she pulled herself closer to his body as her orgasm built up inside her. His rhythm was becoming uneven as he neared his climax and the grip of his hands around her tightened. Her head was spinning and her breath was hard to find and then it was impossible to find when quite suddenly her orgasm tore through her and she pushed her head back with a series of moans and screams as her body tensed with pleasure.

He was unprepared for her orgasm and as she clenched around him he went with her with several groans and harder thrusts as he came inside her. He dropped his head down and caught her lips in his, kissing her as he slowed his movements to bring them both back down before removing himself from her. Both of them were finding breathing to be a near impossible task as they pulled each other closer.

Regina had her hands on either side of his face as she kissed him and his held her ribs as he pulled her up. It felt good, it felt right to be back with him and she opened her mouth wider again to allow him easy access despite it making it difficult for her to breathe properly. She was still vibrating from the powerful orgasm.

"Can I call you mine now?" He whispered with a smug grin as he pulled back just enough to be heard.

Regina laughed softly and grinned back as she whispered softly, "I have always been yours," after a moment of shared smiles she pulled his head back down and kissed him softy but with just as much want.


	19. Chapter 19

**Another update! Yay! Lol I get excited when I get to update! and I looooooove the next one I'm finishing up for you guys :) shouldn't take too long!**

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"What are you grinning about?" A low chuckle vibrated deep in her throat and he rocked his head on his shoulders as he popped another chocolate in his mouth and continued to grin. She laid on her back with her head on a pillow and her hands on her bare stomach and he sat next to her at her hip. The soft sheets gathered around both of their waists to keep them from getting too chilled but the sun had come around and was now shining warm light through the windows and on to the their bare skin.

James leaned slightly forward in a playful manner, the grin never leaving his face, "I just made love to a queen."

Regina closed her eyes and laughed quietly as she shook her head in amusement, "the mighty conquests of the simple shepherd," she teased and she opened her eyes to see him laughing quietly as he pushed another chocolate in his mouth. His blue eyes were only seen through narrow slits because of the wide grin plastered on his face but they warmed her heart all the same, "you have done it before," she smiled softly and took a deep breath, soaking in the warmth and love that surrounded her.

"But I didn't know it then," his shoulders bounced with laughter as she rolled her eyes at him but that joyful smile stayed put on soft pink lips. With a final look between them he moved his gaze to his handful of small chocolates, he had found a favorite in the small cubes that were infused with an orange flavor and she had kept him well supplied, "so," he smiled and carefully placed a chocolate just below her navel, "what are we going to do today?" After straightening the small sweet he placed another just below the bottom of her sternum, just above her thumbs that remained resting on her stomach.

Regina sighed quietly, perfectly happy, "I don't really know," she smiled and watched his fingers turn another chocolate so it stood in line with the others while it perched in the valley between her breasts, "is there anything in particular you want to do?"

"Well when we are done here," he leaned forward with a playful grin and they both laughed softly, "I would like to go riding," he placed a chocolate cube at the base of her neck in the hollow dip above her clavicle, "and I would like you to teach me," he rolled forward on his knees and bent down over her, supporting his weight on both hands on either side of her ribs, "how to do it properly."

Regina hummed through a smile as she rubbed her head deeper in to the the pillow, "I'm sure we can arrange something," she smirked and her lips parted as she walked her fingers up his bare chest. He had grown bolder over their time apart and she suspected that with the combination of there no longer being anyone to hide from, he was taking what he wanted.

Slowly he lowered down and caught her top lip in a gentle kiss that had her heart skipping in her chest and her breath catching in her throat when he pulled away slightly ducked his head down and to pull her bottom lip between his teeth. In time with one another they parted their lips further and deepened the kiss. She found herself smiling as he kissed her with such gentle and playful movements, a method she was more than happy to copy.

With a teasing nip to her bottom lip that resulted them both laughing happily and quietly, he lowered his attention to her jaw and then her neck where he lingered on her throat where the skin vibrated under his lips with her laughter. Her body shuddered with pleasure and she breathed out a sound resembling a purr when he closed his mouth around the chocolate above her collar bone and his hot tongue moved over cooled skin.

...

Claude rounded the corner, following the sound of laughter to find the queen walking backward with a light skip in her step as she spoke to the man walking forward in front of her, the same man they had brought her the previous night. The two of them obviously knew each other and it was nice to see her in such high spirits, "your majesty," he acknowledged her kindly and she stopped walking and craned her head over her shoulder.

"Claude," her smile returned and she turned on her heels and walked up to him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug.

The gesture caught him by surprise and instinctively his arms hugged her back. He looked to the man they had captured and he watched the two of them with a wide smile and a quiet laughter, "to what do I owe this pleasure?" He chuckled under his breath, letting her go when she pulled away.

"You brought my love back to me," she smiled and cocked her head gently.

James met Claude's gaze when he looked over her shoulder and he walked up to the pair while a smile, "hello I'm James," he offered his hand and the other man took it in a firm hand shake.

"Claude," he nodded and smiled back.

"It's nice to meet you, she has told me much of what you have done for her and I would like to thank you for that," he nodded and his smile never faltered, " I would also like to apologize for hurting you yesterday," he motioned forward and the guard shook his head.

"Thank you, it's not everyday I get an apology from a man who tried to kill me," he chuckled and James laughed with him. He liked this man.

"Oh look at my two boys getting along so nicely," she teased and rocked her head on her shoulders, ducking her chin playfully. "Now," she lifted her head, her mouth still curled in to a smile as she put her hand out to her side and with simple elegant magic, a sword slowly became visible in her hand, "kneel my dear friend," she smiled up at Claude and held the heavy sword with ease, "you are to become a knight."

...

"He's really big."

Regina laughed under her breath as James looked over the black stallion at her side with wide eyes, "yes he is."

"That is an impressive creature," he nodded and let his eyes wander over the shining black coat that covered the horse's strong muscles and the long forelock that hid friendly brown eyes underneath, "what is his name?"

"Isadoro," she smiled and the horse flicked his ears to his name, "he's still a work in progress but he's a wonderful horse and Rocinante has raised the standard pretty high haven't you darling?" A small nicker was voiced by the mare at James' side that made both of them laugh.

"I will let you take Rocinante, you two are familiar with each other already and I will take Isadoro. Now get on," she smirked at James and ran her hand down the sleek black neck of her stallion.

With a playful huff and a shake of his head he walked to Rocinante's side, neither horse wore any tack for they were grazing in the pasture when they had gone to get them. Regina had curbed the stallion's desire to breed with a simple spell in order for he and Rocinante to be out together without incident. Her exact words were that the stallion was learning from the best. He enjoyed how she talked about horses, "I can't do it," he shook his head at the mare's back and Regina laughed.

"Yes you can, she's smaller than him," she bit her bottom lip and grinned at him as she pointed over her shoulder and leaned forward, mocking him.

He wanted so badly to kiss that mocking grin off her face, "you get on him first," he pointed to the stallion that towered over her, "if I have any hope on getting on her I need to see you get on him."

"Fine," she held the tip of her tongue between her teeth as she smiled. Taking a handful of his thick black mane in her left hand and took a couple large strides for the purpose of momentum and pushed off on her left foot and gracefully pushed herself on to his back with a grin. As she chuckled she shifted her weight and slid forward on his back, "there. Your turn."

"That shouldn't even be possible," he shook his head and laughed with Regina as he turn back to Rocinante. Copying what Regina had done, he took a handful of her mane and then ran and jumped only he didn't jump high enough and he ended up with his right leg gripping her back as he clung to her side trying to pull himself up as he laughed and Regina laughed loudly from atop Isadoro.

"Oh my word," she pushed her head back in a rich laugh before looking back at him. Giving up on that attempt he stumbled back to his feet, "that was awful," she shook her head and closed her eyes as she continued to laugh.

"Shut up okay, I'm trying!" He put his hands out at his sides as he laughed, much like a child throwing a small tantrum only he wasn't at all angry, "I've got this!"

...

It was the most relaxed he had ever seen a stallion as they rode on the roads through the forest, "you look worried," he commented gently and Regina snapped her head up, brought out of her thoughts abruptly and she blinked quickly as she cleared her throat.

For a moment her mask was up but then she pulled it back down and smiled nervously instead, "that obvious?"

James smiled in return, "no but I know you better than that," she looked at him for a moment longer before she looked down at her hands and began playing with the buckle on her reins. He moved Rocinante closer to Isadoro and placed a hand on Regina's thigh as they walked side by side, "she is going to be thrilled to see you. She never let me forget that I had to bring you to her once I found you."

"That was when she didn't know I was the evil queen," she said quietly without looking up at him.

"You are not evil, Regina," he shook his head but her expression didn't change, "you were a queen on the farm and you are a queen now. My mother will love you all the same."

"You sound so sure."

"I am sure."


	20. Chapter 20

**These reunion chapters make me so happy! They are what got this story going in the first place :) I had to work backwards so there was a story to go along with the reunions! Turned out pretty well I'd say :) I can't wait to read your reviews for this one! The next chapter will pick up at relatively the same place this one left off so there will be more of this trio to come! **

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She was nervous, her hands were gripped tightly around one another in front of her and she walked with tense shoulders as Isadoro followed close behind. He stopped her steps by walking in front of her and placing his hands on her shoulders while he smiled encouragingly, "she is no different than what I know you remember," she nodded silently but he knew she didn't believe him in the slightest, "do you want me to go ahead and ask her to take it easy on the motherly smothering?" That earned him a very small laugh but he was going to take it.

"Sure," she said quietly and nodded with a smile but her body was still tense.

James nodded and gave her shoulders a small squeeze, "okay," and then he turned around and continued up the path, not at all surprised when Rocinante stayed at Regina's side with Isadoro.

She found she didn't like to watch him walk away. It made her nervous, "wait," it was quiet and uncertain but he heard it and stopped. She walked up to him slowly and for some strange reason she felt incredibly unsure if she was allowed to go up and kiss him. An odd thought altogether but she remained standing in front of him as he smiled down at her. Perhaps it was that they were out in the open and not within the safety of the walls her palace provided or the fact that she had kept herself from putting up her own walls inside her that made her feel suddenly so vulnerable.

Sensing her uncertainty he teased her gently, assuring her she was alright, "as much as I love being the one to kiss you I certainly wouldn't mind at all if you just kissed me any time you felt the urge to do so," that was better, she was quietly laughing now and the tension was nearly gone from her shoulders.

Without another word she brought her hands to his face and rose on her toes to kiss him. A gentle kiss through her laughter that purred in her throat. It wasn't a long kiss and when she broke it her hands remained softly on his face, her thumb caressing his cheek as she rested her forehead against his and kept her eyes closed. He was warm and he was there, a concept she still found herself struggling with. For three years he had been cold and gone in her mind and now suddenly he wasn't.

His hands held her close around her waist and she let a small smile curl her mouth for just a moment when he leaned his head in heavier against hers. They didn't say anything and that was perfectly alright because she didn't want anything to be said, she just wanted to have him there for a little while.

Rubbing her sides slowly with his hands he spoke quietly but not in a whisper, "I am not going very far. Just up and around the corner," he soothed and she didn't move, her thumb still running back and forth over his cheek softly, "you don't have to stay here, you can come with me."

Regina shook her head in small movements against his and kept her voice just as quiet as his and kept her eyes closed, "no I think I need a minute, I'm not quite ready yet."

"That is just fine," he he said it slowly as he continued to rub her sides, "do you still want me to go up ahead?"

She nodded quickly, "I'll be right behind you."

"Okay," he waited until she started to remove her hands from his face before he moved and when she did he kissed her forehead gently and smiled at her, "take all the time you need."

...

"Mother?" He called but there was no reply so he tried a little louder, "mother?"

"Is that you James?" She poked her head around the back of the house and found her son standing at the end of the path, "well this is a surprise," she smiled and started making her way up to him, "you are back very soon," she looked around him but saw no sign of anyone in his company, "have you not found her? Are you alright? I heard word that the queen had gotten her hands on you. Did she hurt you? Did she cast some spell on you? Did she rip your heart out? Did she-"

"What? No, no I'm perfectly alright mother no need to fuss," he put his hands on her upper arms and smiled but she kept her eyes at his chest over his heart and pulled the corner of her mouth in to a frown. He couldn't wait to see her reaction when she discovered who Regina was, "how did you hear word of that? No one knows you're here."

Ruth took a deep breath, "I went in to town."

"You did what? Mother!"

"Oh don't you 'mother' me! I needed to see another human being before I went completely mad! I swear the squirrels are trying to communicate...they just sit there and stare at me...the rabbits aren't much better...with their twitchy noses and their big ears."

He had been holding his breath trying not to laugh but he burst and covered his mouth as he laughed and shook his head, "I'm sorry."

"Don't laugh! I'm going insane! Old age is not helping my case!" He was still laughing at her and she glared at him before swatting his arm, "stop laughing!" But he only laughed harder which made her start to laugh as well, "I am losing my mind and you think it's hysterical! What kind of a son are you?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he put his hands up in front of him in surrender and tried to stop his laughter, "can I ask a favor of you?"

"Oh sure ask me a favor after laughing at my deteriorating mental health! Maybe I'll ask the birds to help me! I haven't talked to them yet!" He was laughing loudly again as she threw her arms up in the air, motioning to the sky with a good humored tone of voice as her words bounced with laughter.

"I said I was sorry!"

"And yet you're still laughing," she folded her arms and shot him a smirk.

They were both silenced by the sound of a twig snapping. Initially he believed it to be Regina but the hairs raising on the back of his neck told an entirely different story, "mother I need you to go inside."

Her son's voice was distant as he looked around, "I'm sure it's nothi-"

"Please go inside," he turned to face her and did not hide the urgency of his request and she nodded and hurried off toward the small house. He watched the door close behind her before he turned back around only to find several of king George's men emerge from the tree line and he drew his sword.

...

She wasn't ready for any outcome. She wasn't ready for her to be loving like she had been and like James had assured her she had remained but she wasn't ready for the possible disappointment or anger and possibly even fear either. She wasn't ready, she didn't know what to expect and she did not like that.

At the sound of clashing blades she snapped her head up and furrowed her brow as she looked up the path where James had gone. That was not a promising sound. She picked up a jog and made her way down the path. When she heard hoofbeats behind her she held her hand out and looked over her shoulder to assure the horses stayed out and out of sight. Rocinante stopped immediately and nipped Isadoro's shoulder when he tried to continue causing him to try and bite her back but she pinned her ears and he lifted his head away from the mare but remained standing next to her.

Satisfied that they were going to stay, Regina straightened her neck to look forward as she rounded the corner. James was fighting two men, two were on the ground either dead or knocked out, one more was coming up behind him but he seemed aware of that. What caught her undivided attention was the archer off to the side that was redirecting his aim from James

At first she thought he had seen her and was aiming to shoot her and she wasn't worried, a simple arrow was nothing she couldn't handle. However, her brow furrowed in confusion when his taut bow was moved past her and she followed his gaze to the older woman standing roughly one hundred feet diagonally from her. Her focus was on her son and not on the man aiming a lethal arrow. His fingers began to unbend to release the arrow and without a second thought she disappeared and reappeared in a plume of purple smoke next to Ruth and snatched the arrow from the air.

Ruth jumped back with a gasp and stumbled to regain her balance, her heart stopping when the woman appeared at her side from nowhere. Her hand clenched angrily around an arrow and for a split second she thought she was going to use it on her but then she followed the woman's line of sight to an archer that had been scared stiff and she realized that the woman had managed to catch the arrow. She let out a tense breath when she noticed where the arrow was. The sharp point in line with her heart.

Regina glared at the archer, his eyes wide with fear, clearly recognizing her as the woman they all called the Evil Queen. Under any other circumstances she would have snapped his neck with a mere flick of her wrist for trying to hurt Ruth but Ruth was watching and she didn't need to see that. Instead she resorted to whipping all of George's men together in a bundle high in the air, held tight with an invisible force making them as uncomfortable as she could without maiming them before she let them fall, scaring them before purple smoke engulfed them and they were transported away before they hit the ground.

James looked up at the sky where the men had been flying and then back down at the ground where they had all disappeared. He was confused and stood with his sword hanging from his hand so the tip was on the forest floor. Then he remembered that Regina could use magic and he smiled as he lifted his head to find her standing next to Ruth who looked positively terrified and shocked.

"I had it," he teased but his heart dropped to his stomach when she waved an arrow in her right hand directly in front of his mother's heart.

"I don't think you did."

Ruth was working to recover from the ambush with her hand over her chest where the arrow would have hit. Her breathing was shaky and labored, she had nearly died and this woman had appeared in a cloud of smoke and plucked the arrow right from the air. She had not seen the brunette's face but something was familiar about her, something she couldn't quite place.

It couldn't be. She shook her head and looked over the back of her carefully, the hope growing within her. Her voice was not quite right, it was a lower and more raspy, as though she was being weighed down. Her clothing was expensive and masterfully crafted to fit only her. Then the magic. She had quite literally appeared at her side and caught the arrow before throwing the royal guards aside with nothing more than a flick of her wrist. But the way her son was looking at the brunette. It couldn't be, "Regina?"

Regina turned slowly to face the older woman for the first time in years and smiled timidly, "hello Ruth."

"Oh!" She covered her mouth with both hands quickly, entirely shocked and confused and happy. She was speechless as her eyes raked over her, unable to believe she was really truly standing in front of her. She dropped her hands and stepped forward to touch her. When her hands rested on her arms and she felt the solid and warm body beneath her touch the tears welled up in her eyes and she brought a hand to cover her mouth once again.

Her eyes darted between the same dark troubled brown that she had grown so used to seeing. It was really her. Her face was painted beautifully, the top half of her hair was pinned up in an intricate way she didn't even think possible, the subtly patterned bold navy blue coat that fell just above the ground paired with tight black pants and a black top with white crystals lining the low cut neck line, it was all so different than the simple girl with the simple dresses but she was still there.

The clothes, the make up, the magic, the money, the secrets, her name, it all began to fall in to place, "you're the queen," she dropped her hand from her mouth and and took a step back and moved to bow but black gloved hands stopped her movements immediately and she looked up at her curiously.

Regina shook her head, "don't you even dare," she gently pushed her back upward looked directly at her, "you have done so much for me in the past, it is I who should bow to you," she nodded and let a small smile pull on her mouth as she bowed respectfully to the older woman.

Ruth put a hand to her chest and the tears started to fall as the queen bowed to her. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that the Regina she had known and this regal and powerful queen were the same person. She didn't quite know how to approach her as she stood up straight, "Regina-"

"No," she shook her head and looked down at her hands, "I'm sorry I didn't come back Ruth. I thought about it but I didn't know what you'd think, after all I've done, after all the pain I've caused...I really lost control of my anger and Rumplestiltskin only pushed me further. I had nothing left to lose so..."

Ruth cocked her head sadly as the tears of happiness continued to roll down her cheeks. She very much resembled the young girl she had first met for that afternoon after watching her ride with her son scattering the sheep on Rocinante. Nervous, unsure, small, afraid to get hurt once again. This was nothing like the enraged queen she had heard so much about, it broke her heart all over as she came to the conclusion that she had truly been alone all those years, "can I," she swallowed the lump in her throat and tried again, "can I give you a hug?" Her voice cracked in to a whisper as she opened her arms.

Regina furrowed her brow in confusion and lifted her head to look at Ruth. She was rendered speechless by that kindness that was so clearly present like it had always been. Her lips parted but her voice didn't come and her chest tightened as her eyes glossed with tears.

"Oh my dear," Ruth breathed out through a shaky breath and quickly stepped forward and wrapped her arms tightly around Regina's small frame. The girl went instantly tense and her arms laid uncomfortably over her back but she only laughed through her cries and held her tighter, "I've been worried sick about you," she could feel her body start to quiver in her arms, "Regina, dear, you're safe, you're going to be okay."

She blinked back her tears but she couldn't stop the shaking. James had assured her that his mother would be thrilled to see her but she only came to ease his mind, she half expected her to at least be angry. No one had shown her any kindness for years and once again Ruth had pulled her in without a second thought. She found it overwhelming and a tear finally broke free against her will.

Reluctantly Ruth let go, knowing how uncomfortable she was. She wished she would give in but she knew trust was a difficult thing for her and she believed that now it was even harder. "Oh," she shook her head, "no, Regina," she spoke softly and brought her hands up to hold her face and wipe the tears away, "don't be so scared. I'm not going to hurt you," she shook her head sadly as the girl dropped her chin and closed her eyes, her jaw clenched and her lips pushed together to keep her self from crying.

"I've missed you," she confessed in a small sad whisper.

Ruth nodded quickly and kissed her forehead, "I've missed you too," she opened her eyes and Ruth felt her stomach flip uncomfortably at the amount of hurt swirling in those dark eyes. "You have much to tell me my dear queen," she smiled when a soft and quiet laugh made it out of Regina's sad breath. She shook her head as a giddy laughter rose from her throat, "I can't believe you've been right in front of us all these years. Do you have any idea how hard we've been looking for you?"

"I'm sorry, I just didn't want either of you to get hurt otherwise I would have told you who I was."

Ruth nodded, still truly baffled that she was standing in front of her, "I completely understand. I mean the queen falling in love with a shepherd," she shook her head but couldn't stop smiling at the young brunette, "that would carry quite the consequence."

Regina nodded stiffly and remained quiet, unsure what to say to Ruth. It was hard to find that high spirited girl she had buried so deep inside her. She desperately wanted her to come back. She cocked her head curiously and let out a low laugh when Ruth removed her hands from her face and jumped around excitedly.

"I cannot believe I have personally known the queen! And now she's back on my doorstep! I've never had the pleasure of such company," she smiled over her shoulder at Regina, happy to see she was smiling now, "well I suppose I have had the pleasure but I didn't know it then," she smiled brightly and turned back to fuss with random objects. She had heard the stories of the queen's wrath but now knowing who she is she knew she was in absolutely no danger whatsoever.

Then she paused and spun to face her with a new joy, "you saved my life! I haven't seen you in over three years and our first interaction is you saving my life! My dear girl!" She grinned and then walked quickly back up to her and held her face between her hands, "thank you," she smiled, tears of joy shining in her eyes and a mess of emotions reflecting in Regina's. With a happy laugh and a kiss to her forehead Ruth began rearranging objects again.

"You okay?" James came up behind her and whispered gently in her ear.

Regina nodded quickly, "yeah, I just wasn't expecting her to be the same," she whispered shakily and turned her head up to look at him and offered him a weak smile.

Ruth watched the pair with the widest of smiles as they held an intimate private conversation. They were not aware that she was watching them which gave her the precious opportunity to see them interact without any guards put in place. He was so gentle and loving with her it made her heart swell, such a good man he had become. Regina was struggling, her poor tired soul was struggling to claw its way back to the surface once more like it had years ago.

She believed with all her heart that her son could find that gentle girl inside that dark queen. Ruth couldn't wait to talk to her, to dig down and find what it was that had snapped inside so that she could help her mend it. The look on her son's face. It was so happy, so full of love, a unique expression he saved only for this brunette, a look she had feared she would never get to see again, "I need a kiss!" She chuckled and lifted her arms toward the pair as they snapped their attention to her and waved her hands in a less than graceful manner, "right now!"

Both laughed at the request, Regina's more tense and unsure than James'. Ruth stood in front of them and they stood side by side until her son spun Regina around and silenced the queen's gasp with a kiss. She laughed happily and covered her grin with her hands as Regina relaxed and kissed him back.

Regina went stiff at the motion and put her hands up and out so she wouldn't touch him as she inhaled sharply through her nose. She still wasn't used to him showing any love toward her in private let alone in front of anyone else but soon enough she found herself relaxing in to him and parting her lips in a smile only to close them around his own. His hands found her waist and she shifted her feet so her balance was even and her hands moved up so her fingers bent around the nape of his neck and her thumbs rested on the corners of his jaw.

"Oh I'm so happy!" Ruth yelped in excitement and clapped her hands in front of her face as the couple pulled away laughing, "so so so happy!"


	21. Chapter 21

**This one wont make you cry lol! Unfolding a Plan was brutal I know but this one wont make you cry ;) the next chapter will pick up right adhere this one left off. Enjoy!**

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The cabin was small and for lack of a better word, cozy. It brought a small smile to her face and she found herself starting to relax a little further in the close walls. It very much resembled the small farm house Ruth and James used to live in. The floor was of worn dark wooden boards and the table looked to be the same one from the farm. She felt a little out of place but she also felt like she was home.

Ruth continued her fussing and moving of objects that didn't need to be poked or prodded, "I know this is smaller that what you're used to, not as big and luxurious as your home," she trailed off and adjusted a small vase before putting it back to its original position.

"No this is much better," she smiled and looked around the home again before her eyes landed on Ruth, "it's freedom."

Ruth smiled up at the queen, still not over the fact that she was back and that she was and always had been the queen. In hindsight it made perfect sense but once you have the answer to the puzzle the puzzle always makes sense. "Well I suppose it's got it's benefits," her smile only grew the longer she looked at her, "not as many as a palace however," she lifted a finger and then turned and adjusted the chairs around the table.

"Have you forgotten how I used to sneak out of the palace to go to the simpler accommodations of your home?" She smirked gently and held her wrist in her hand and let her arms hang in front of her.

Ruth laughed quietly and shook her head as she walked around the table to push in another chair, "I suppose I just never thought of it like that. Mind you I haven't had much time to think of much just yet," she looked at her out of the corner of her eye and then started laughing again, "the queen is in my house!"

Regina laughed softly and shook her head in amusement as she walked over to the wash basin and found dishes inside. Something to do. Without a second thought she picked up the wooden pail on the floor and walked toward the door only to be stopped immediately.

"No you will not do my dishes!" She laughed and made a move for the pail but Regina moved it away and she looked up to find her with her head cocked, a smile on her mouth, and her eyebrows raised in a silent disagreement. Ruth put her hands on her hips and grinned as she shook her head at Regina, "I will not allow the queen to do my dishes."

Ruth made another reach for the pail and without looking away from her, Regina let go of the pail only to quickly catch it with the bottom of it in the palm of her hand and she raised it above her head. When Ruth made yet another grab for it she simply raised it on to her fingertips making it just out of reach and she smirked at the huff of frustration Ruth gave her, "I am going to go get some water from the well and then I'm going to help you wash your dishes."

Unable to keep the smile from pulling on her mouth, Ruth caved, "fine!" She laughed and shook her head, "fine!"

Regina smiled and lowered the pail down and dropped it only to catch it by the rope handle, "I'll be right back," she still was a little unsure of what to do around Ruth so her movements were rather awkward and she opted for just walking past her trying not to touch her on her way to and out the door.

She made it outside without incident and brought the pail up into both hands and looked inside it for no reason in particular.

"What are you up to?" He smiled as he finished tending to the horses and fell in step beside her.

Regina returned the smile and lifted the pail up a little higher, "getting water."

James breathed out a soft laugh and slipped his arm around her waist and rested his head against hers as they walked. She kept both hands on the bucket and tensed slightly for a few steps before relaxing against him and leaned her head in to his. She was out of her element but she was trying to come back. He had seen that same spirited girl shine through again and he could see that parts of her were beginning to stay.

"Wait! Wait I want to check something!" Ruth walked quickly up to the pair and they stopped and turned to face her. She held her hands out in front of her as she smiled, "may I see your hands dear?"

"My hands?"

"Yes your hands," she insisted and Regina turned her head slight and furrowed her brow in confusion but put the pail down on the ground anyway, "oh and gloves off please."

Confused, she began pulling the black leather from her fingertips on her right hand first as she looked at James who wore a similarly confused expression. She pulled the right glove from her hand and then repeated the process with her left. When both were off she tucked them in to the waist of her pants and offered her hands to Ruth who smiled and took them in her own and studied them intently.

She noticed right away that there was no ring on her finger but she studied them anyway, partially to keep her from catching on and partially because her mind started to wander. She ran her thumbs over the back of her hands slowly and smiled. Her nails were perfectly manicured, her skin soft, and her fingers and palms free of calluses. What had these hands done over the years? Had they ever had the opportunity to be gentle and loving? She exhaled slowly through her nose, her mouth set in a warm smile, "you have beautiful hands, dear."

Regina cocked her head gently, her brow still furrowed and her voice quiet, "thank you."

He had his suspicions when she seemed fixated on Regina's left hand and they were proven correct when she glanced up at him with a hopeful and knowing smile. He shook his head in amusement and smiled back, "patience mother."

Regina shook her head and smiled a small confused smile, "be patient for what?" She looked up at him and he looked back down at her with a calm smile and then back to Ruth when she let her hands go as she tried unsuccessfully to stop from grinning.

Poor thing was confused, hadn't the slightest idea of what they were talking about. Ruth wondered if the thought had ever crossed her mind at all. She very much doubted it had. Before they lingered too long on the topic and Regina began to work it out she changed the subject, "now you are welcome to stay as long as you wish but I imagine being queen has its responsibilities so I know you have to go back to your home but when do I get to see you again?"

Regina shifted her weight slightly and glanced up at James, "well," then she looked back at Ruth who was still smiling at her, "why don't you come back with us?"

"To the palace?" She laughed and shook her head in silent protest.

"Yes. I am not alright with leaving you here alone, not when George knows where you are. It's not like I don't have room," she smiled and James' hand found her waist again as he grinned from ear to ear. She saw the joy light up her eyes and it warmed her heart to be able to bring that again instead of fear.

"No I couldn't intrude," she shook her head and raised a hand even though she was right ready to agree and jump in to Regina and hug her, "I've gotten used to it here, befriended some of the animals, and I don't have anything suitable to wear to a palace."

"You two are the closest thing I have to family, I did and hope to again call you my family. You are more than welcome to stay with me," she smiled and nodded and then shrugged her shoulders, "as for what to wear I really don't care but if you wish I can ask my seamstresses to work with you and set you up with as many outfits as you so desire," a soft laughter vibrated in her throat as Ruth's face lit up at the idea of being pampered. She herself had always had the resources for such a thing but Ruth hadn't and she imagined it would be something a woman like herself would wish to be able to do every now and then.

"I could always post several of my best men out here but I would prefer to keep you close and protect you myself. However I know you want to come with us so stop with the formalities and agree," her voice was light with a quiet laughter.

"Okay yes! Yes I would love to come with you!" She brought her hands up in front of her in excitedly shaking fists as she grinned and laughed through her teeth. James laughed with her and Regina smiled softly and happily, "when can we leave? I don't really need to bring anything...at least I don't think I do...let me go check!"

"Ruth?"

She turned quickly to the sound of her name, "yes dear?"

"May I have a redo?" She asked quietly as she stepped forward and opened her arms a little.

Ruth cocked her head and smiled a wide smile and opened her arms, inviting Regina in to them. Regina stepped forward, her movements still a little unsure and tense and her smile nervous. She pulled her in with a happy laugh and held her tight and Regina clamped her arms around her in return and buried her face in to her shoulder. Ruth laughed softly and held one arm around Regina's waist while the other rested on her head and played with her dark hair, "my dear," she hummed happily and rested her head against Regina's, "I am so happy you are here."

"Me too," she whispered and closed her eyes as she turned her head further in to her neck. With a final squeeze and a deep breath she let go with a smile and held her hands on Ruth's upper arms, "we can go as soon as you are ready."

Ruth shook her head and smiled as she brought her hands to Regina's face and her smile grew into a soft laugh when the young brunette put her hands over her own, "I won't be long," she assured before she let go and hurried off toward the house.

Regina continued to smile as she began pulling her gloves back on and James walked up behind her and kissed the side of her head as he snaked his arms lazily around her waist. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she leaned backward in to him, "I have missed her," she exhaled long and slow, "and I have missed you."

"We have missed you too," he smiled against her ear and she laughed under her breath, the soft sound warming his heart and he dropped his head down a little lower and kissed her neck gently.

She grinned and turned her head in to his and allowed her body to follow suit so she faced him, her body pressed against his with her arms hanging over his shoulders and his still around her waist. When she looked up she met bright blue eyes, the same eyes she had such trouble remembering and now they were back, "I love you," her voice was quiet and her fingers were playing with the short hair on the back of his head.

"I love you too," he smiled brightly and her smile grew in return before she pulled his head down as she rose on her toes to meet him in a slow and tender kiss. It didn't last long, only a few seconds but that is all that was needed and she pulled away with a giddy smile that made him laugh softly and his heart overflow with love and warmth. With a final look she slid her hands from his jaw and down to lay flat on his chest on either side of her head it rested on his chest as well.

...

Snow was running and she was running fast, her feet moving quickly and impressively quietly across the forest floor. She was afraid of what she might find when she got to the hidden cabin. At the sound of quiet and relaxed voices she stopped dead and made work of catching her breath to attempt to hear the voices. She kept herself well hidden as she made her way to a gap in the trees and bushes near the end of the path. What she found confused her.

They were speaking quietly, there was no reason for them to be louder for they were standing right in front of each other but it meant that she couldn't hear them. She could see their faces well enough though and Regina looked better than she had seen her in a long time. Why Regina was there she didn't know, she seemed to be a little out of her element but she looked content and even happy beneath the tense posture.

Whatever she had said made the older woman that she assumed to be Ruth, very happy and she hurried toward the cabin but was stopped by Regina. Her lips were parted in thoughtful confusion when Ruth welcomed Regina in to her arms without a second thought and Regina held the her tight. Perhaps if she wasn't so fixated on her step mother, Snow would have looked at James and the pieces would have fallen together right away. The joy and relief present in both women as they interacted had Snow's full attention.

It was only when James stepped up behind Regina and wrapped his arms lazily around her waist as he kissed her head did the gears in her own mind began to turn. He was gentle with her and she was gentle right back, his kiss on her neck was too intimate and loving to be from a relationship formed over a short period of time. Snow fit the pieces together when Regina turned around in his arms and the pair looked at each other with such happiness and adoration that it could only be called love.

She found herself smiling with them and when Regina pulled him down and rose on her toes to kiss him Snow felt her heart flutter and her stomach flip with warmth and excitement as she covered her mouth with both hands. Of course it was him, of course it was her, it was so blatantly obvious. It was no wonder James' story struck a chord inside her; man trying to find a woman he loved but knew nothing concerning her identity. It was the same story Regina had told her when she had first agreed to tell her about her secret friend; a woman loving a man she knew nothing about.

Snow had told her it didn't make sense but Regina had assured her it made perfect sense. It did make perfect sense. She can see that now. Her step mother was so happy, he made her happy. Snow was grinning like a fool as she watched Regina without her walls up and be the woman she knew she was and knew she wanted to be.

As she stood up straight from her hiding place she rattled the bush and instantly cringed. If it had been anyone else they wouldn't have noticed or if they had they would have blamed it on an animal but it was Regina and she always knew when she was near. She assumed her guard wasn't up all the way while she was with James and Ruth which is why she hadn't found her yet but now she had made a sound and as she looked up she found a confused James trying to console a distressed Regina. She was caught and there was absolutely no use in hiding now so with a deep breath she stepped in to the open and waited.

...

The quiet sound had her flashing her eyes open and all her senses on high alert. It was too quiet for an animal to make and even if it was an animal there were no disturbances after the first to alert her of its path. The ache in her chest and the course of uncomfortable shivers down her spine told her exactly who it was before the animal topic went any further. How long had she been there watching?

She lifted her head from his chest only enough to turn it and rest her forehead against him, "go away, go away, go away," she whispered her plea in to his chest.

"What?"

"Go away, go away," her voice was getting louder but she didn't move except shake her head against his chest.

James was entirely confused and he loosened his hold around her slightly and rubbed her back, "go away?"

"Go away, go away," it was quiet again and then she pushed herself up off of James and spun around in one swift and graceful movement before she screamed at Snow who had remained unnoticed by anyone but her until now, "go away!"

Snow put her hands up in surrender and shook her head and answered calmly, "I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't want you here!" She screamed in anger, hurt, sadness, worry, and despair.


	22. Chapter 22

**Hope you guys had a great weekend! Let me know what you think of this chapter :) hopefully it won't take as log to get the next one up. My best friend sort of kidnapped me for the past five days and I didn't get much writing done at all! Had tons of fun though :) can't wait to read your reviews in the morning!**

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The sudden screaming had scared Ruth and she nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound coming from the woman she had always known to be so quiet. Sure she was told the queen had a hot temper but to hear it herself was unnerving. Who was she screaming at? It couldn't be James. She ran to the door and stopped outside when she saw Regina with another woman not much younger than her. Who could she be to cause such an emotional and vicious reaction from Regina? She looked over at James and he had one foot forward as though he went to stop Regina but then changed his mind and let her go. He seemed to know what was going on.

"If I had known you were here and who you were to them I wouldn't have come," she defended herself calmly, not wanting to push Regina.

"Why are you here?!"

"I heard word that you had gotten your hands on James and then I was tipped off that George's men were on their way to kill his mother," her hands were still up and her voice was relaxed despite the way her heart raced in her chest at her step mother's threatening posture, "I wanted to make sure she was alright. I didn't want him to come back to find her dead."

"She's perfectly fine," she spat and looked Snow up and down with her teeth bared.

"I'm sorry mother-"

"Don't call me that!" Her hands flung upward to shake just over the sides of her head, her elbows bent as she yelled and pushed her eyes closed. It made it worse when she called her that. The ache in her chest grew stronger with that title.

Snow frowned and nodded gently, "alright."

"Get away from me," she hissed and opened her eyes to find Snow shaking her head, "I will not let you hurt me again! Get away!"

"Regina I am not going anywhere and you need tell me what exactly it is that I have done to you to hurt you."

Regina took a step forward, her posture aggressive and her lips pulled back in a snarl, "quite the sudden rush of bravery Snow. Tired of running?" She cocked her head threateningly, her voice ending so innocently it was hateful.

"I want to know what I did so I can try and fix it."

"You cannot fix what you have done! There is no coming back from that broken promise!" She was yelling again, her words bouncing with a humorless laugh.

"It has been years Regina! You have been hating me for years over something I am not even aware of!" She found her voice was raising as well and gone were her hands raised in surrender, now they moved angrily as she spoke.

"I never told you because I didn't want you to carry that with you! You were just a child!"

"I am not a little girl anymore Regina!"

"I don't want to hurt you!"

Snow widened her eyes and opened her mouth in an irritated smile, "are you _serious_?! You've been trying to kill me for the past three years! You have sent so many to hunt me down to try and kill me!"

"If _I_ wanted to kill you you would be dead and you know that!"

"Then what is this for?! You send your men after me and yet whenever our paths physically cross you do nothing?! You let me _go_?! I looked you straight in the eye and you let me get away without so much as a scratch?!" Her eyebrows knitted together as she shook her head slowly and looked at the ground.

"I want you dead! But I _can't_ kill you!" She screamed and Snow snapped her head up.

"Why?! Why can't you kill me?! I am standing right in front of you! You want me dead! You had my father killed! You have killed people with your bare hands! Just kill me! Get it over with! Fulfill your need for revenge!"

"I can't!"

"Why not?!"

"Because I _love_ you!" When she shut her mouth and clenched her jaw the yelling was replaced with tension and dead silence. She remained perfectly still as her steady eyes burned holes in to the fair skin of Snow White. Bright blue eyes darted over herself and red lips were parted but she had nothing to say.

She was confused but she felt relief that her efforts in trying to find a way to get her back were not hopeless. She could get her back. Before she could smile or have any other expression than shock, Regina closed her eyes and rolled her head down in a manner full of sorrow, a sorrow she did not understand. Not yet.

Her voice was thick with pain, "and Daniel is dead."

Snow shook her head in small movements, "I don't...understand, how is that-" she was cut short by the pain and hatred in Regina's eyes when she looked back up at her, "no...no no no! No Regina! No you said-" Regina's dark eyes were hard and deadly despite the tears that pooled inside them, "your mother," she breathed out sadly, hoping she was wrong.

"You promised me you wouldn't tell her," she shook her head slowly as she hatefully spoke the words just above a whisper through her snarl, "she ripped his heart out right in front of me and crushed it into _dust_," she enunciated every word slowly and carefully as she brought her right hand up in front of her and watched it as she tightened her fist as though she was crushing a heart herself. When she looked back up at her step daughter the girl's breath was shaky and a hand was over her mouth and her eyes were fixated on her fist. She only looked up to meet her gaze when she uncurled her fingers.

She felt sick. Regina was so young and kind, she had taught her about love and how it was the most powerful magic and then to have it so cruelly taken from her because of her, because of a secret she didn't keep. She had derailed her and set her on this destructive path, "Regina," her voice was quiet as she removed her hand from her mouth and reached forward but her heart wrenched in her chest when Regina did nothing but take a step back. She took a breath as she shook her head, "I am sorry Regina."

Regina tilted her head and ran her tongue over her teeth as she smiled coldly and shook her head, "there are times when an apology can mean the world to someone. And _then_ there are times when they mean absolutely _nothing_ because the apology can do absolutely nothing to fix what has been done. Now is one of those times."

With one last look over Snow, Regina turned with a heavy heart and tears in her eyes as she walked away. She didn't know where she was going, she had to get away from her because she didn't know what she would do to the girl if she stood there any longer.

Ruth glanced over her shoulder to watch Regina leave before she turned back and looked over the woman she had put together to be Snow White. She looked like she was about to run after Regina and while Ruth didn't know much about their relationship she knew that that would be a bad idea. "No, no," she raised her hand and smiled gently when the raven haired girl took a step to follow Regina, "you stay here, dear. I will take care of our lovely Regina but you need to stay here," she smiled and raised her eyebrows as she tucked her chin in a fraction.

Snow nodded in agreement and smiled a very small smile in gratitude and the older woman turned and walked after Regina. She was left with James who hadn't said a word yet and she took a deep breath to try and calm her tears.

He was a little overwhelmed by this dark side in Regina he had just seen. It was unnerving yes but it was also unsteady and frantic, it was as though she really couldn't yet grasp it, couldn't control it. The side she showed when she was with him was entirely the opposite. She wasn't fighting to keep her mask in place or keep her armor up, she was herself when she was with him and he was more determined than ever to keep her from trying to fight to keep her true self buried and repressed.

"I suppose now you know where the murder charge came from on your wanted poster," he teased lightly and she gave him half a shaky laugh through a sad smile.

"Yes I guess I do," she breathed out another half laugh as she shook her head and quickly wiped away tears that had just begun to fall, "you know about Daniel I take it?" His reaction was nowhere near surprised when the story was brought up, "your mother too?"

James nodded, "yes. My mother knows the story in greater detail than I do but yes I know about Daniel. In fact it was the first thing she told me about herself. I didn't think the ring was her engagement ring, I thought it was just a precious trinket."

"What engagement ring?"

"That worn gold ring she carries around all the time. I'm certain you've seen it."

"_That_ was her engagement ring?!" She breathed out yet another shaky breath to try and stop the guilt from painfully picking away at her, "she told me she didn't remember where she got it."

He watched with a frown as Snow closed her eyes and put her fingers in her hair, gripping the dark strands tightly as she shook her head, "she never did want to hurt you, it scared her how much her mind wandered down that path."

"Thank you for helping her," she whispered as she brought her hands down from her hair.

"It was my pleasure."

Snow looked up at him and a smile softened her face, "alright I have to let my guilt eat away at me unattended for a minute so I can freak out right now."

James laughed under his breath and folded his arms over his chest, "about what?" It was then that she jumped forward and slammed her hands down on his chest causing him to stumble backward as he laughed, "ow!"

"It was you! That entire time! I cannot believe it was you! You have no idea how happy I am right now that she gets to have _you_!" She pushed her arms forward in a gesture to size him up, "that it is _you_ that loves her! I feel like an absolute idiot for not putting it together earlier! But it's you," she smiled excitedly and then pushed her head back and looked up at the sky, "I could kiss you right now!"

He couldn't help but laugh as she let her excitement show and jumped at him once more only this time she wrapped her arms around his neck as she laughed and he hugged her around her middle.

"You really have no idea how much you help her," she laughed softly against his shoulder before she let go of him and took a step back, "you are going to put her back together like you did before and I cannot tell you how happy that makes me. Even if I don't get her back, you will, your mother will, and she will and that is more than enough for me."

James returned her smile and shook his head in amusement, "well I'm happy to hear you approve of me," he teased and she laughed quietly, "I will work with her to let you back in again. When she comes to get you though you can't attack her like you just did to me or she'll change her mind," he chuckled and she rolled her eyes and shook her head, "you are going to have to act like a civil human being."

"Shut up! I am a civil person," she folded her arms and pushed her head forward and raised her eyebrows mockingly as she bit back a grin.

James raised his eyebrows as well and nodded quickly, "mhm."

Snow scoffed and swatted his arm, "rude!"

He only laughed at her and shook his head, "it's going to take all of us to get her back with you though. I'm sure my mother is having the time of her life chiseling away at the walls Regina has put up around herself and I will continue on as I have done in the past but when she comes to get you you can't explode."

"You sound so sure," her voice was defeated and yet hopeful, wishing he was right and that she would come and find her.

James smiled down at her, "I give it two and a half weeks. Give or take."

Snow sighed through her nose and shook her head, "I'd give it much longer than that."

"Want to take bets?"

Snow pushed her lips together in an attempt to keep her grin from growing too wide, "yes I would," her heart still throbbed in her chest but she tried to focus on the love her mother had now. The love of a man so devoted to her that he scoured kingdoms for her for over three years. It eased the pain in the smallest of ways to know that Regina was no longer alone but she knew that the guilt would get to her the very moment she was alone with her thoughts.

...

Ruth found Regina around the side of the cabin where James had left the horses. She cocked her head sadly as she took in the sight before her eyes and shook her head gently. Regina's back was to her and her arms were wrapped around her precious mare's head as she rested her forehead against Rocinante's and whispered words that were only shared between her and her horse. Ruth didn't know what she was saying but it broke her heart to know that Rocinante was likely the only one Regina had ever had to confide in.

She didn't want to interrupt but she called her name softly, "Regina."

Regina frowned against Rocinante before she let go of her and turned to face Ruth, "yes?" Ruth only raised her eyebrows and dropped her chin a fraction, waiting for an explanation that she didn't really have. She was still afraid to open up even to Ruth, "that's...complicated..."

"I can see that," Ruth nodded and Regina dropped her head to look at her fidgeting fingers, "care to elaborate?" She asked gently and ducked her head to try and catch the queen's gaze.

"Not particularly no," she responded quietly.

Ruth nodded and took a deep breath in preparation, "may I say something you are not going to like?"

Regina furrowed her brow and lifted her head slowly and turned her head slightly in a question.

"You, my dear, are falling in to the footsteps of your mother," she knew very well it would hit a very _very_ raw nerve and that the queen she knew as a bright young woman could very well retreat and fall back on her violent defense mechanism she had put in place. What Ruth also knew was that Regina would never actually hurt her and in pushing this topic she knew she would be able to use that particularly painful part in her heart to regain her trust and work to soothe that pain.

Regina's eyes were the most expressive eyes she had ever seen and they were currently filled with intense fear and pain. No Ruth did not know everything of Regina's mother but she knew enough.

"Don't say that!" She was finding it hard to breathe and Ruth only stood holding her wrist and letting her arms hang in front of her, "no," Regina whispered and shook her head as the tears pooled in her eyes, "no I am not my mother," her voice was thick and low.

She walked up to Ruth with quick and powerful strides and lifted her finger to point at her, "you have no right to say that to me! You don't know what she was like," the tears fell as she forced her clenched jaw to move with her words as Ruth watched her in the kindest way that only made her heart hurt more, "you know nothing. I am not my mother, I am not following in her footsteps! She-" she what? She ripped out people's hearts? Stored them in her vault? Lost track of who they belonged to? Harmed and killed without a second thought? Misused her power? Was feared by all? Manipulated people in the worst way? "No."

That simple word that came out in a quiet whimper was filled with the realization of her current path and Ruth didn't move nor did she speak a word. She could physically see Regina crumble in front of her, she could see the connections she was making and there were likely many many more that Ruth herself was entirely unaware of. She knew it would hurt but she knew that that pain had festered for far too long and it needed to be healed properly and the best way to do it was to trudge through that pain and pull down those walls and tear out the darkness so that the light could fill it once more.

Slowly Regina began to back away as the tears continued to fall silently from dark and terrified eyes but Ruth walked forward and softly took her arms in her hands and steadily held Regina's unwavering gaze.

"You're right," she whispered so quietly she barely heard the words herself and the horror in her quiet voice was unmistakeable and the tears fell faster.

Ruth smiled a small and sad smile, "you are going to be alright dear."

Regina shook her head in silent and lost disagreement.

"You want to know how I know that?" She asked softly and lifted her hands to wipe away her tears, "I know that because," she wiped away new tears and looked directly in to those troubled eyes with a small but encouraging smile "anyone that is capable of love is capable of being saved."


	23. Chapter 23

**I love Ruth lol! Seriously she is just so much fun to write! hahaha that aside I hope you enjoy this chapter :) George is gonna pop up in the next one and possibly Rumplestiltskin too... :) enjoy! **

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"Oh my! This place is enormous!" She grinned and she walked ahead of the couple and looked around the room they had entered in. Tall ceilings, stone walls and floors, plenty of mirrors, warmer than what she would have imagined for such a large stone building but then she caught sight of the roaring fire in a large hearth that had no wood, "how is that burning?"

Regina followed Ruth's gaze and smiled a little wider, "magic. Why burn wood when the people need it and I don't?" She shrugged and leaned in to James a little heavier as she continued to hold his hand between both of hers, "occasionally I will buy wood from those who can find nowhere else to sell it and are in desperate need of gold. However as of late many of them have turned to cutting their own lumber and those who sell it have had to actually think about what else they can do and they have proved to be quite clever and resourceful. Besides the gold not spent here on wood can be spent on other things for the kingdom."

Ruth smiled and shook her head in quiet admiration, "I think that people forget that under your rule they have been better off. The whole 'evil' part of your title throws them off," her voice drifted off as she began looking around the palace again and continued to wander up ahead of them.

She had been very quiet the entire ride back except for when she was forced in to a conversation by him or his mother. Even now she remained quiet and her smile didn't quite reach her eyes as she watched Ruth zig zag across the hallway up ahead of them, "what's on your mind?"

"Hmm? Oh. Nothing much..."

James frowned slightly and moved so he stood directly in front of her, "don't do that. Tell me. What is troubling you?"

She wasn't good at opening up even if was only to him. It made her vulnerable and nervous but she wanted to try. She wanted to trust him with her weaknesses and fears but she just couldn't. Not yet, "Ruth said something and it frightened me is all," the concern and worry in his expression was evident, "I'll be alright, I'll fix it but you can't ask me what she said."

"Regina-"

She shook her head and cut off his gentle voice, "please don't. I don't want to repeat it, I just want to fix it so it doesn't have to be said again. So please," she shook her head and lowered her voice, "please don't ask what it was. It's just between Ruth and me and I would like it to stay that way."

He breathed out a tight sigh through his nose but nodded at her pleading dark eyes, "alright. But if you ever need-"

"I will come straight to you," she finished for him with a loving smile that he returned.

"Good," he approved softly and moved his eyes back and forth between her brown, soaking in the warmth that grew in his chest, the warmth that he had longed for since he had left her. He didn't think he would ever forgive himself for leaving her.

He moved to turn and continue walking with her on his arm but he didn't even move his feet before he was grinning and stopping, "nope. I can't. I've got to just-" he cut himself short and leaned down as he cupped her jaw between his large hands so he could kiss her smiling mouth.

She laughed against his mouth and he felt her melt in to him as she kissed him back slowly. He pulled away with a happy hum but stayed close enough for their lips to nearly touch, "I like kissing you," he grinned and pushed his nose a little harder against the side of hers.

Regina laughed softly and tilted her chin up so she was even closer to him, "good," and with that she closed her parted lips around his.

...

Ruth sat on a chair in front of a large full length mirror and watched Regina stand behind her and run her fingers through her damp hair. It felt wonderful to be clean, all clean, head to toe and then to be wrapped in silk of all things as this darling woman, a queen no less, played with her hair.

Strong yet seemingly delicate fingers moved through her long hair and she continued to watch Regina in the mirror. Her mouth set in concentration and her eyes fixed on the back of her head as she contemplated how to style her hair. She watched in admiration and with a bright smile.

Regina glanced in to the mirror and then did a double take when she made eye contact with Ruth. She paused her hands for a moment and smiled in to the mirror, "what?"

Her hands began to move through her hair again but she held her gaze, "you are very beautiful Regina," and just like that her movements faltered along with her smile but it only made Ruth smile more.

She averted her gaze back to her hands as she forced them to move again and a smile returned to her face, "thank you," it was a certain softness her voice adopted that she hadn't used in years. It was the absolute sincerity in Ruth's voice paired with the certain randomness of the thought that caught her off guard. Yes she knew she was beautiful but she didn't hear it from other's very often and she heard it even less from people who meant it as an unconditional compliment.

"You are quite welcome dear," her damp hair was nearly dry and Regina began to twist and roll her hair with great care. It was odd not having to do anything herself but it was also nice to have a break as well as spend some time with Regina, "where is James?"

"He is with Claude," she smiled up in to the mirror at Ruth and then continued with her hair, "seems the two of them are going to be good friends."

"Oh? And who is Claude?"

"You would know him as the guard I gave my gold to that afternoon on the farm. The one with a moral compass unlike his perfectly wonderful companion," she slid a pin in to Ruth's hair and then pulled up another piece of hair and ran her fingers through it, "he never spoke of my secret and he has been something like a friend to me over the years. Every time I found myself teetering on the edge and ready to give up and fall completely in to darkness he would do something kind to me and pull me back."

Ruth just continued to smile as Regina watched her hands work away, "I am happy to hear you had at least one person who cared about you."

Regina let a small smile curl her lips and she replied quietly, "me too."

They were lost in comfortable silence again as she continued to twist pieces of Ruth's hair and pin them up off her neck. She was very much enjoying having her near as well as having something else to do, something different. She could still feel Ruth's eyes watching her in the mirror but she didn't mind, it put her at ease.

"What of your step daughter?"

"She..." She drifted off to try and find the right words but she still didn't know what to make of her feelings toward Snow, "I tried," she shook her head and her voice went quiet with desperation and failure, "and tried and tried and tried but every time I tried to love her it hurt me a little more. I wanted to love her," she shook her head and frowned as she kept working, "she didn't know what she did to me she didn't know the consequences of her broken promise. All she wanted was a mother..."

"So why the change in heart?" She asked slowly and carefully with a gentle tone knowing very well that she was walking on thin ice with this topic.

Regina shook her head again and twisted another piece of hair, "I never really did have a change in heart...I've always wanted her gone and I've always wanted to love her properly. Over time the latter was overshadowed by the first because every time I looked at her I wanted to cry and I nearly would because the pain in my chest was too much...I bottled my pain and that gave room for the need to get her away from me."

"And now?"

Regina laughed shakily and quietly, "I don't know now," she smiled sadly in to the mirror at Ruth for a moment and then focused back on her hair, "I have no idea."

"Well I know I don't know much either and I hadn't met her until this afternoon but James would go on and on about how the princess was obsessed with finding a way to fix the queen," she watched Regina carefully in the mirror and her hands had stopped moving and she had closed her eyes firmly as she bowed her head and her jaw clenched with a combination of pain and guilt she was certain she had been trying to avoid, "she wants to save you."

"Please stop now," she whispered slowly as she tried to calm the tears building behind her closed eyes.

Ruth nodded through the ache in her heart at Regina's conflict and agreed gently, "alright. But I think that you should give the both of you another chance. I believe that you can love your step daughter and you can love her without it having to hurt you any further," she smiled sadly despite knowing Regina couldn't see her. Her mother and the princess were her two places of injury and with a little help she knew those tender wounds could finally be healed.

...

Regina walked in to the courtyard following the sound of laughter and clashing blades only to have to jump back when the pair of men moved their spar across the archway she was walking through. It brought a smile to her face and she watched them fight and critique and improve as their blades clashed harder and faster as they continued around her apple tree.

She stepped in to the open and cleared her throat gently, "I do hope I'm not interrupting anything," she smiled when both men stopped at the sound of her voice.

"Of course not your majesty, we were just-" he stopped when the tip of James' blade reached his chest and looked down at it and started to laugh.

Regina laughed under her breath and walked up to the pair, "please don't kill my friends dear," she stopped at James' side and smiled up at him and then at Claude who was still laughing and smiling at her.

James lowered his sword with a quiet chuckle and switched hands so the sword was in his left and he could pull her closer with his right arm around her waist, "wouldn't think of it." She was still a little tense because there were other eyes watching but she allowed him to hold her so their sides were touching and she placed a hand over his.

Regina hummed with unease but tried her best to relax and when she forced herself to look up from the ground and at Claude she felt relief and it put her a little at ease when she found him smiling down at her. A warm and comfortable smile that showed he was happy for her and it was an odd feeling for her to have someone be happy for her. She smiled back at him but dropped her eyes back to the ground when she couldn't stop it from growing to show her teeth.

"Uh," she laughed softly and James rubbed his hand up and down her side as he laughed with her and she made herself look up at him, "your mother wants you to know that now she is even more upset with you that you hadn't found me sooner and brought her to the palace and," she lifted her finger and looked at something straight ahead of her as she laughed quietly while James and Claude laughed a little louder, "and," she tried to continue but their laughter was contagious and she had to pause to compose herself, "and she wants you to see her new gown. She is very excited and she is running amuck in the palace and she will get lost but I gave her a necklace with a charmed pendant so that I can go and get her when she does."

James was shaking his head and laughing and Regina looked the happiest he had ever seen her. It was a wonderful thing to hear her laugh and see her smile again, she had never really laughed in the palace aside from the quiet forced laughter when it was absolutely necessary. He liked James plenty and the fact that he was the one who had stolen his troubled queen's heart made him like him all the more.

"Thank you," he laughed and pulled her in a little closer and was happy to find that at least some of the rigidity had left her body.

"Oh look! Look at where I am!"

All three of them looked up to find Ruth on a balcony waving down at them and they all started to laugh again, "hello mother! Love the dress," he called up to her and she grinned down at them.

"Thank you! Oh Regina dear do me a favor?" She called down to her with a wide smile.

"Perhaps," she laughed and pivoted half a step so she faced the balcony, "what is this favor?"

"When you are done kissing my son please come and get me, I don't really know how I got here or how to get down."

Regina shook her head and furrowed her brow as she laughed, "what are you talking about? I'm not kis-whoa!" She yelped when she was pulled down backwards and tried to catch her fall by putting one foot back but she was already caught by James' arms as he dipped her down in a kiss. She held on to his bicep tightly with one hand while the other gripped the leather clothing his chest as he opened her mouth with his.

She relaxed a little, enough to kiss him back with a giddy smile but she was still painfully aware that Claude and Ruth were watching. It was going to take awhile to get used to and she was going to have to learn how to love again but she knew it would come. Her heart was fluttering in her chest and she felt light as he kissed her but to both her disappointment and relief the kiss didn't last long.

With a grin he stood up and as he did he pushed her back upright causing her to bounce a little to regain her footing as she laughed quietly and looked over her shoulder at him with the brightest of smiles. He wanted to take her back in his arms and kiss her more but he knew she wasn't comfortable with showing love or affection in front of others and that only made him love her more.

She risked a glance at Claude to again find him still smiling at her and then she looked back at James and mirrored his wide white grin and breathed out another laugh before she straightened her neck and looked up at Ruth who wore a similar grin, "I'll be right up," yes it was going to take time to get used to being loved rather than feared.


	24. Chapter 24

**I apologize for the wait! I've been physically exhausting myself over the past five days getting ready for this dressage thing next weekend and when I get home all I want to do is sleep ;) however wit all that time of not writing I have had lots of time to figure out what I'm gonna do and how I'm gonna end this story :) but don't worry there's still a long time before that happens! Lots of talking in this chapter but it had to get written :) enjoy! I'll be waiting to read your reviews and finishing up the update for Unfolding a Plan :)**

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"George!" She acknowledged with the widest of unmasked fake smiles and a voice that was clearly too enthusiastic and joyous to be genuine as she walked in to the room she had told her guards to bring him in. He took her obvious hints and his posture and expression became defensive and a little angrier than it had already been, "to what do I owe this great pleasure?" She questioned, her voice laced gently with a new distaste for the man.

"Oh I think you know quite well why I am here," he tilted his head and tucked his chin in, his mouth set in agitation as he watched the woman walk nearer.

Regina chuckled through closed lips and rocked her head on her shoulders, "your men, yes?" She smirked and then indifference played on her face as she shrugged and smoothed the fabric of her deep red gown over her stomach, "I sent them back to you. I could have killed them."

"You dropped them in a moaning and bleeding mess in the middle of our table during a meeting with Midas and several other kings and lords!"

She shrugged again, and tried very hard not to let her grin appear, "not my fault. I sent them back to you, where you were at the time was your decision."

"What am I supposed to say when injured men fall from nowhere?"

"Your men were unauthorized in my kingdom and they were disturbing my people. What you come up with as an excuse for your decision to send them here is not my problem nor my concern," she remained to appear indifferent on the topic when internally she was trying very hard not to maim him. Or laugh at him. He had taken James from her and kept him from coming back and then he went after Ruth, the woman who was a mother to her. That was not okay.

"Don't touch my things," she leaned forward a fraction and squinted her eyes as she lowered her voice in a threat.

George only scoffed, "your things?" She held his gaze with burning dark eyes, "the only reason you want your hands on him is because of his companionship with Snow White! Why do you care so much about what happens to the man's mother when you are only after him to get to Snow White?"

Regina hummed through a deadly smile and straightened her posture to her full height, "he was mine long before he was yours and he and his mother are under my protection."

"_Protection_?!" He laughed coldly and Regina didn't so much as flinch, "since when is anyone under your protection?!"

"Now _that_ is not of your concern," she nodded once and looked up over his head before looking him straight in the eye once again, "what is of your concern is that if you so much as _try_ and lay a finger on them again I will make you wish you were dead," her tone was vicious and George backed off slightly and stared at her with a new curiosity.

What was finally registering in his head was that she claimed that the former shepherd was hers first. There was an obvious underlying meaning but what exactly that was he didn't know, "first?"

"Yes," she nodded and raised her eyebrows, "first." He was going to find out at some point and she was almost looking forward to seeing the look on his face when he did. She wasn't going to tell him straight out though. No she wanted him to figure it out on his own, "you took him from me and I do not appreciate it when the things I care about are taken from me."

George shook his head in confusion and laughed, "what are you talking about?"

Regina smiled coldly at him and when a knock on a door was heard she lifted her head and looked over his shoulder, "yes?"

"Oh good I got it right," Ruth congratulated herself as she opened the door with a wide smile, "so many doors in this place," she chuckled and walked up to the pair, looking over the man as he turned around and gaped at her, "what are you looking at?"

Regina smiled and hummed a quiet laugh, "he's just not used to people treating him like a person," her smile went a little too sweet and she cocked her head and shook it as he turned to face her again, "and not a god," she finished and held his glare for a moment longer before smiling a little wider and blinking once to look at Ruth.

"Oh! Well then this must be George," she smiled at him and looked him up and down as she made her way to Regina's side, "I don't like you."

"You don't even know me," he squinted his eyes and tucked his chin in, shocked that he was being talked to in such a demeaning manner and that Regina was allowing it to continue, encouraging it even.

"Oh I know plenty and I really do just want to kick you," her brow furrowed thoughtfully and she dropped her gaze to a particularly kickable shin. Then she shrugged and looked up to find the distasteful man looking down at her through narrowed eyes. Didn't phase her in the slightest and she pivoted to face Regina, "anyway dear, I thought I'd try my hand at finding you first and look at me I did it! Ever since my son caught word that you allowed this...man...in here and that you decided to talk to him alone he's been positively, well, frantic. He's worried for you dear."

George shook his head, still thoroughly confused, "worried for the evil queen?"

"You had better shut your trap _king_," she spat, the word 'king' rolling off her tongue in the most bitter way she could manage. Her Regina was not evil and she'd have anyone's head who thought differently.

"You allow you working hands to speak like this?!" She motioned to the older woman with his hand as he question Regina in disbelief.

Regina shook her head and furrowed her brow as though she was confused, "she is not under my hire."

"Regina," James waltzed in to the room and hurried to her side, "what are you doing?"

"Having a conversation," she replied.

James sighed tightly, "don't give me that."

His tone was gentle but stern and Ruth stepped back to allow herself to turn and face him, standing closer than what was really necessary only because she loved being close to him but wouldn't let herself show how much with George watching. It was so easy to get lost in his eyes, "just setting up the rules."

"What is this?" George questioned and the queen and the shepherd looked at him, the protectiveness of the other clear in both of them, "he your new play thing?"

That hurt more than it should have and she had to try very hard not to flinch. She opened her mouth to retaliate, her teeth bared in a hateful snarl, only she didn't have time for any words to roll off her quick tongue before her line of sight with George was obstructed by James.

"You do not speak to her like that," he hissed as he got in to George's space, "you got between us once before and I will be damned if I let you do it again."

"What in God's name are you all talking about?!"

"You really are daft aren't you?" Ruth sighed and shook her head incredulously at him.

George broke eye contact with the shepherd to look at the older woman, still shaking her head. When he looked back in to the blue eyes of the man in front of him the pieces started to fall together and he started to laugh, "you and her," James didn't move and he looked past him to Regina, "you and him?!" She didn't move either, only held his stare as he laughed, "you cannot be serious!"

Sensing the beginning of George's rage she took half a step forward and gently placed her hands on James' biceps and applied a little pressure asking him to back up and he did. She breathed out a silent breath of relief at his cooperation and closed her eyes as she let him back in to her and she pressed her lips softly against his shoulder blade and allowed him to protect her a moment longer. It was something she never got to feel. Protected. So she relaxed in to the back of him and let him act as a wall between peace and turmoil just for a few moments. Maybe a little longer.

From what he could feel, Regina had her forehead resting against his back with her hands just a little lower as her torso solely relaxed into him. It caused his heart to ache in his chest and a love for her to nearly overwhelm him. She was letting him do his job. To keep her safe from harm.

"This conversation is over," he said sternly, his eyes fixed on George's.

"Like hell it is!" He leaned back slightly as though he was shocked by the words coming from James' mouth. Regina stood behind him, nearly completely hidden, "she is the woman you were distraught over? Leopold's queen? Could you have possibly picked anyone less available?! Could you have possibly picked anyone less capable of love?!"

"I never her knew her as the queen," he said simply and then his tone grew defensive and cold toward George, "as for your assumption on her ability to love, you couldn't be more wrong."

"She has gotten in your head boy," he laughed at him through his growl but James remained steadfast in his claim and the queen remained behind him.

"She never left it," he hissed and wanted so badly to get in to his space but Regina had pulled him back for a reason and he didn't want to leave her even if he was only two strides away, "you are not welcome here. I suggest you leave."

George only shook his head angrily and bared his teeth as he spat the words out, "you do not give me orders. I don't not answer to you _shepherd_. I took you in and offered you a prized life and agreed to keep your _dear mother_ safe and wanting for nothing. And this is how you repay me?! You run to the queen and set her completely against me? Leave me without Midas' alliance of the kingdoms?" He only stopped because he was cut short.

With the use of magic she had suddenly placed herself inches in front of him with dark eyes swirling with anger and an unnatural purple hue that threatened her use of magic.

"Leave," her threatening tone gave no room for argument and when he opened his mouth to try anyway she sent him back to his own home in a plume of purple smoke. She knew she hadn't heard the last of him but she didn't care to hear any more at the moment. Good riddance.

"Well, well dearie. That was quite a show."

Of all times, "what do you want?" She turned to look at him, finding Ruth and James had done the same. As a pointless precaution she walked forward so that Ruth and James were behind her.

"I have a problem and you," he pointed to Regina, "are going to fix it."

"Is that so?"

"You are the one who has caused this problem so yes you are going to fix it."

"I'm not in the habit of fixing," she deadpanned and he grinned as a shrill laugh shot cruelly down her spine originating from the imp.

"No indeed you are not!" He jumped down from his perch on the long wooden table and strode up to the trio with his hands moving as he spoke through various tones and speeds, "but you see the future was very clearly laid out, I had great plans," he lifted his hand up a little higher and grinned and then dropped it down a little lower as the three continued to watch and listen intently, "and everything was going brilliantly, I couldn't have asked for better. But then," he lifted both hands to point at the queen and the shepherd with an annoyed grin, "you two happened."

James had unknowingly gotten closer to Regina and suddenly his hands were protectively holding her arms just below her shoulders. He supposed his subconscious wasn't ever going to be ready to let her get taken from him either, "what are you talking about?"

"The two of you," he lifted his eyebrows and shook his head through his grin and dropped his hands, "never should have happened. The twisted queen and the pure hearted shepherd. That was not a possibility in any path time could have taken."

"Oh?" Regina questioned, "and what was supposed to happen?"

Rumplestiltskin laughed through his teeth, "he was supposed to be with Snow White! And you dearie were supposed to do something for me; the final step in getting me to where I need to be. I allowed the interaction and the infatuation with the shepherd because it did not yet interfere. It is interfering now."

Regina was comforted by James' tightened grip around her arms and the small movements of his thumbs at the information given. That he had been destined to love Snow and leave her alone under Rumplestiltskin's thumb.

"Seems that once again I have underestimated you dearie for you have certainly exceeded my expectations and I do not mean that as a compliment," his voice rang to cheery to be considered anything but annoyed.

Regina smiled a cold smile and cocked her head, "the student out does the master," she hummed and his grin grew threatening. Didn't phase her in the slightest, "and what does the oh so certain future tell you now?"

"Oh I have no idea," he shrugged and pursed his lips slightly as he bent his arms at the elbow and stuck them out at his sides and let them drop back down.

James furrowed his brow and cocked his head, "what do you mean you have no idea?"

"I mean just that. There was no future where the pair of you were together and now that you are, there is not path to be followed. You two are making it up as you go along, all I see is white. Like a blank canvas," he paused as though he was admiring it and then scrunched his face and leaned forward slightly, "it's quite annoying really."

Ruth could only smile, "so what you're saying is that against all odds these two found each other and formed a love so strong that it is changing the course of time?"

Rumplestiltskin nodded in quick short movements and squinted his eyes as though that is exactly what he had just said, "yes that is what I am saying."

"Well isn't that just beautiful!"

"Perhaps for your circumstances but for my own I much preferred the outcome previous to this."

Regina didn't quite know what to do with that information. It scared her. It scared her a lot in fact. Could love do such a thing? Rewrite what was already written? Apparently it could and she and James were doing it, "what was the other outcome?"

"Doesn't matter-"

"Matters a lot if you are asking for help," she countered quickly, effectively cutting him off and silencing him with her mocking tone. Rumplestiltskin asking for help. She never thought she'd see the day.

"Help? No."

"You are asking me to fix something. Something you cannot fix yourself so yes I believe 'help' is the perfect word," she smiled and dropped her chin a fraction.

"Call it what you will dearie! Point is you were taking me somewhere via extraordinary measures and given your current position it is very unlikely that you will take that same route so!" He clapped his hands together and leaned forward with a grin, "any ideas?"

Regina laughed once, "no."

"I'm sure you can think of something. I'm sure you'll think even faster if I were to take one or both of these lovely people off your hands."

"You have given me nothing to work with _dearie_," she expanded on her previous answer.

"You're a clever girl! You don't need much to go on."

"A destination would be wonderful."

"Oh silly me!" Rumplestiltskin laughed and rocked on his feet, "I need to get to a land without magic."

Taken aback by his answer she lifted her head up and turned it slightly as she squinted her eyes, "why?" Magic was his crutch, she was no fool, he depended on it. It was his power, his life.

"That is certainly not of your concern," he said through a voice bouncing with laughter at the question, "my business is my business I only need you to get me there and the faster you come up with a solution the faster you are rid of me. One less threat to your oh so desired happy ending!" His voice lifted higher with the last statement and he grinned and opened his hands to the trio.

Regina sighed through her nose. Yes she wanted him gone but what would it take? what would it cost her? Magic beans were practically extinct and she felt right to assume he had already exhausted that option if such extraordinary measures were needed from her to begin with, "in this past future I have gotten the impression that you did not go alone. Who went with you?"

"Everyone."

"Everyone?"

"The entire Enchanted Forest dearie!" He grinned and spread his arms up and out to the sides.

"Not everyone," she shook her head and ducked her chin.

"Yes everyone, but one did escape the effects of your chosen method of travel."

"How?"

"Well she went through a...ahaha very clever!" He pointed a finger at her and she forced a smile through her glare, "it's so simple it's a wonder I didn't come up with it myself. Enchanted trees are short in supply however so I am going to need you to get me one and a carpenter to carve it."

"Do it yourself," she scoffed and looked him up and down, "I gave you a way out just as you asked."

"Fairies don't like to work with me," he shrugged.

Regina's voiced lowered hatefully, "and I don't like to work with fairies."

Rumplestiltskin looked up and pointed upwards as he took a breath and looked back down at her, allowing his pointed finger to follow, "not my problem," and with a final grin he vanished in a thick cloud of dark red smoke.

"It's like he's got a bag of cats up in there," Ruth waved her hand around the side of her head as she gazed off at where he had stood.

Regina chuckled quietly, her thoughts still elsewhere, "not far off," she smirked and leaned backward into James.

"You alright?" He whispered in her ear as he dropped his head down to rest against the side of hers and slipped his arms around her waist. She nodded and hummed her reply before resting her head heavier against his shoulder, "please don't do things like this without me. I don't you like being in another room than me let alone you being alone in a room with George and Rumplestiltskin."

Regina smiled softly and put her hands over his on her stomach, "I'll do my best," he pressed a loving kiss to the side of her head and she leaned into the contact, allowing her walls to come back down after the earlier confrontations.

"Angry kings, crazy dark ones, fairies, enchanted trees, mothers, daughters, powerful queens, simple shepherds, and love powerful enough to rewrite the future," she laughed and shook her head as she tried to soak it all in, "certainly doesn't get boring around here."

Regina laughed quietly and shook her head as James chuckled behind her, "no it certainly doesn't."

"Why don't you like fairies?"

It was a simple enough question from the curious older woman but it caused a certain anger and hatred to burn in her gut and she looked down at James' hands and began fiddling with them to try and distract herself from hurting herself with her memories, "I spent a good part of my life trying to get a fairy, any fairy, to help me or at least talk to me and let me know my voice was heard by someone, anyone...as you can see it didn't really turn out..." She tried a smile at Ruth knowing full well it didn't come off as strong as she wanted it to.

Ruth frowned and Regina shrugged, her voice catching in her throat when James wrapped his arms further around her so his forearms were across her middle and his hands holding her sides as he dropped his head to rest on her shoulder, "I suppose it just wasn't meant to be. Someone has to get the short stick."

...

They sat across from each other in bed, the sun starting to fall beneath the horizon giving Regina's skin a wonderful warm colour. He shook his head slowly and she smiled curiously back at him, her long hair left to fall over her shoulders, "you are perfect."

Her smile grew against her will and a slight blush came across her cheeks, "I am far from perfect dear."

James shook his head and smiled, "to me you are _perfect_," he simply couldn't get enough of her and she hadn't resembled that simple girl he used to spend his days with more than she did right now. Relaxed, happy, and still unaccustomed to his love and compliments toward her.

Regina managed to close her lips over her teeth but her smile remained as she looked between his blue eyes and her heart swelled in her chest, "I love you," it came out so much easier now and she was able to mean it more and more every time she said it because he was slowly putting her back together.

"I love you too," the changes in her were clear as day and they sat in comfortable silence just looking at one another. His brow furrowed ever so gently when she dropped her head to look at her fingers in her lap as she fought within herself to get something off her mind. He wasn't going to push her, she would tell him when she sorted her thoughts out so he waited a few moments longer.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"It's about Snow," she paused as she tried to work out her wording and tilted her head to the side, keeping her eyes down on her hands, "aside from Red you are the one who she has spent the most time with. That and I trust that you won't hurt me..."

James shook his head, "no I won't hurt you. What is it love?" He asked gently although he was pretty certain what her question was going to be.

"Do you think I should let her come back?" She asked quietly and looked him straight in the eye, "will it hurt me again if I try to let her back in to my heart?"

James shook his head and smiled the smallest of smiles so as not to scare her off, "no I don't think it will hurt you. I believe letting her back in your heart will help you just as I have."

"But you are different," she reasoned quietly, " you have never done anything to hurt me."

"Yes I have."

There was a long pause where neither of them said anything. They only looked at each other.

"I left you alone for over three years because I broke a promise I made to you," he finished gently and watched her try to swallow down tears at the reminder of being left alone and spiraling down in to darkness. He would never forgive himself even though she had.

"That's different, you didn't have a choice," she forced out a whisper and shook her head.

"I didn't believe I did but look at where I am now," he looked in to her eyes and gave a small smile. He was with her now like he should have always been, "I made a choice, I came back for you, a choice that I could have and should have made over three years ago instead of ever leaving you in the first place."

"But it's different," she insisted quietly, slowly becoming fully aware that it really wasn't at all.

He shook his head slowly and reached forward to gently wipe away a fallen tear, "I don't see how," he whispered and continued with a tender and loving tone, "I took love from you just as your daughter did all that time ago. You forgave me without so much as a second thought and don't tell me that it hasn't started to heal that pain," he smiled softly and carefully traced her hairline with his fingertips, pushing any stray strands behind her ear, "imagine what it would be like to have that space in your heart for your daughter heal and fill with the most fulfilling love. I know you want that," he finished in a whisper, "you have wanted that for as long as I have known you."

"I do want that," she confessed slowly and quietly, "it just _hurts_."

"I know," he whispered and wiped another tear from her cheek, "it hurt with me too though," he pointed out with a sad smile and she nodded subtly in agreement against his hand that was now cupping her jaw, "it gets better," he smiled and kissed her forehead, pulling her in to his arms when she moved in to them, "it does get better."

"It's been so long," she whispered against his chest and closed her eyes, her hands on either side of her head as she relaxed in to his hold, "I've wanted her gone for so long. Are you sure it will get better?"

"Yes I am," he assured quietly and watched his fingers as they ran through her silky hair, "you have all the time in the world to make your decision and I will not love you any less for whichever you decide."

She took a deep breath, savoring his comforting scent as sleep suddenly tugged her away, "okay."

"Sleep on it," he whispered and then lifted her head off his chest between his hands, "it's a big decision," he smiled and she smiled in return as she melted in to his hands, "and you've got plenty on your mind," he soothed and she moved in closer until her lips caught his in a kiss.

His mouth moved with her slow kiss and she purred quietly when he deepened the kiss only for a little while before pulling away. She leaned in again to steal a soft kiss and then pulled away with a happy smile, bringing him down with her as she laid down on the bed. When he got comfortable she nuzzled in to him so she was pressed against him, soaking up his warmth as he held her in place with large arms. She buried her face deeper in to him so the bridge of her nose was against his collar bone and he curled around her, "promise you will be here when I wake up?"

It had become a routine question before she fell asleep since his return and it made him smile, "I promise."


	25. Chapter 25

**I have a question for you all! When I finished this story or Unfolding a Plan (whichever ended first) I was going to give another story a whirl. I had planned to write one where David and Regina fell through the hat instead but I have discovered that another writer has started one :) So do you want me to write one as well or should I try and come up with something else? **

**Enjoy this chapter! I believe that in the next one there will be some Snow and Regina ;) **

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Why they had happened to wake up so early he didn't know. In the two weeks he had been back with her they had always slept in but this morning they found themselves watching the sun rise above the horizon since the very inklings of pink and blue light painting the sky. They hadn't said much after 'good morning' and now she laid on her stomach with the sheets gathered around her waist leaving the bare skin of her back and shoulders to be revealed for his touch.

He laid parallel to her on his side with his elbow bracing himself and his head in his hand while his other hand traced invisible patterns up and down her soft skin. She was different here. Then again she was different wherever you put her. It was almost like she had different personas she would fall into depending on where she was and who she was with. A coping mechanism almost and perhaps even a little bit of a defense mechanism as well.

She was still struggling to find her footing but she was getting closer with every passing day. In this room and when they were outside alone in the open were the places where she felt safe enough to just be herself. Her interactions with Ruth grew easier and more relaxed every time the two of them spoke and that made him so happy. He loved how dearly she loved his mother and how his mother loved Regina so dearly in return.

His fingers trailed up between her shoulder blades to the base of her neck and he smiled adoringly at her when she shivered wonderfully at the sensation. What fascinated him was that she had the capability to be such polar opposites; the kind and tender woman he fell in love with and the bloodthirsty queen he was told to hate and fear. He allowed his eyes to follow his touch as he moved it slowly over her shoulder and down to the side of her breast and over the smooth skin of her side to where the blankets gathered around her hips and then moved back up.

She was all his, there were no more secrets, no need to hide and it was amazing. What did the future hold for them he wondered. There was no path to follow so quite literally anything was possible but really as long as she was at his side he would be happy, he needed nothing more.

When the sun finally peered above the horizon she smiled and it made him smile at such a pure and sweet salutation to the new day. His breath was stolen by the bright colours reflecting in her dark eyes. Oranges, pinks, and yellows painting the dark canvas her dark brown eyes provided and warming the fair skin exposed to the sun's colours. Beautiful.

She hummed the softest of laughs when he moved in closer and gently kissed her shoulder. She didn't move an inch, she remained still and relaxed as she looked out the the large window over the forest below. He continued to lay tender kisses over her skin and she reveled in the love he gave her. How strange it was for him to be back from the supposed dead.

She still hadn't wrapped her head around it and every now and then over the past two weeks she'd forget and she'd fall back to the dark habits she had developed over her lonely three years. She would always snap out of it though and sometimes she would do it herself but then other times it would take the sight of James or Ruth to bring her back. It was getting easier though. Slowly but surely she was remembering who she really was and slowly but surely she was being taught how to stay there and that it was okay to stay there.

Shivers shot through her nerves as he left slow light kisses down her spine while his fingers continued softly trailing over her skin. She sighed quietly and happily as she closed her eyes to focus solely on his touch and the warmth that tingled over her body.

Slowly she rolled on to her back so she was beneath him, his left hand supporting his weight while the fingertips of his right moved gently over her ribs and his mouth connected softly with a spot on her collar bone just off to her right and his left. She let her eyes flutter closed and left her head to fall a little heavier in to the bed as he continued his kisses on her neck while his fingertips trailed higher so they just grazed her left breast.

He was causing her soft and silent breath to grow a little shallower with arousal as his finger traced the skin just below the swell of her breast before he moved it slowly higher and kissed her jaw with a hot mouth. She arched her back in to him as her thumbs moved over his biceps and turned her head to find his mouth with hers.

He kissed her with such soft gentle movements it had her sinking deeper in to the bed and relishing in the sweet and tender love they used to share. She held on to it and let it lift her heart, she felt light, as though she would just float away. She was still on a bit of a high when he broke the soft kiss and kissed his way down her body, his fingertips still skimming over her skin.

"I have to talk to the blue mosquito," she whispered, her voice thick with arousal as he slowly pulled the blankets from her waist and slid her closer to the edge of the bed.

James darted his tongue out over her pelvis before kissing the same spot as he got down on to his knees on the floor and drew patterns over her hips and thighs, "you won't be long," he smirked and kissed her center, sucking her clit in to his mouth and repetitively flicking his tongue over her. She bucked in to him and moaned and hissed with pleasure as he continued kissing her and moving his tongue over her, tasting her and playing with her as she made her pleasure known.

She rocked her hips slowly and her breathing grew heavy and audible between moans. His mouth was hot as his lips closed around her in a kiss only to open them and move his tongue over and inside her. Her fingers clawed at the sheets and she pushed her head back in to the bed as he continued. He would push her right to the edge before slowing down and letting her come down a little before kissing her harder and moving his tongue faster.

...

Ruth was in the habit of getting up before the sun to get chores started and now that she didn't have any she had started to try and sleep in. It wasn't exactly working. She got up right with the sun which she supposed was better than before it. Then again she had only had two weeks of trying to sleep in against years and years of getting up early so she imagined it would come with time.

She had the basic layout of two of the floors of the castle memorized but she would still get lost and Regina would still have to come and get her. They both found it rather amusing. She was nearing Regina and James' room now with news that the blue fairy had honored Regina's request to speak and was now waiting for her. She had offered to take the task of telling Regina upon herself for the sole reason that the young guard looked positively terrified to disturb the queen with the news of the visitor she did not care for.

She had a hand on the door handle to open one of the large double doors when a soft moan stopped her. She waited curiously on the other side of the door trying to determine what she had heard and if it had even come from inside the room. The temporary silence was replaced with more gasps and pleasured vocals from Regina, muffled through the heavy wooden door but the reasons for the sounds were unmistakable.

With a growing grin and a shake of her head she let go of the door handle and turned to walk away, making a mental note to perhaps knock first incase a sound was not heard first to stop her.

The fairy could wait right? After all, Regina was the queen and a powerful one at that.

...

"Finally," Blue muttered under her breath when she saw the queen rounding the corner and walking up the hallway. The woman wore a deep forest green satin gown that seemed to be painted on to her arms and upper body while the skirt was left to hang like a curtain from her hips and trail on the floor behind her. Black lace was sewn decoratively from her wrists to the middle of her forearms as well as around the steep swooped neckline of the gown and as Regina came closer she could see small rounded buttons holding the tight bodice of the dress closed.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long," she forced a pleasant smile at the fairy when she stopped to stand next to Ruth.

"You have."

"I apologize, I was not aware you were here until recently," she replied sharply to the fairy's irritated tone.

"That would be my fault," Ruth chimed in but both fairy and queen kept a cold eye on one another, "I went to go get you but you were a little busy so I allowed you to remain undisturbed and finish what you were doing," she nearly burst out laughing when Regina snapped her head to her with wide eyes and a blank and caught expression. Ruth only let out a chuckle, "I told Blue here that you would likely get along just a little better anyway if we let you finish."

Regina was speechless. She didn't know what to think of what she had just heard. Embarrassed? Grateful? Laugh? Ignore it? She could only manage to blink at Ruth's knowing and amused grin. Regina remained still and stuck when Ruth gave her a squeeze on her forearm.

"I would expect nothing less from you two," she laughed quietly at Regina as she slowly tried to recover, "I'll leave you to converse with Blue," she smiled and then her laughter returned as she walked away.

Regina stared at the place Ruth had been standing for a moment longer before a small smile curled her lips for a moment and then she snapped her head back up at the fairy who was watching her with a curious expression, "I need an enchanted tree," she stated simply with her head held high.

Blue smiled, "no."

Regina smiled back and cocked her head gently, "you and I both know that this is a courtesy call and that I can get my hands on that last enchanted tree without much effort at all. Let's both just save ourselves the hassle of a petty conflict and give me the tree. It will benefit everyone in the end."

"Oh? And how is that?"

"The tree will act as a portal of sorts and take a very willing Rumplestiltskin to another land," she explained vaguely and the fairy looked down her nose at her and Regina shook her head and looked up at the hovering pest, "now don't tell me you don't want that."

...

"I hate fairies," she huffed and dropped herself down on her back on the sofa next to James so her head was in his lap and her legs were bent at the knee on the sofa as well.

She startled him a little, he wasn't accustomed to her being so...herself here. He looked down at her and she had her hands covering her face frustratedly so he looked up at Ruth who wore a similar pleasantly surprised expression at Regina's behavioral change. The moment they locked eyes, huge smiles brightened their faces and he looked back down at Regina and put down his book, "hate fairies or hate not getting what you want right away?" He teased lightly and she parted two fingers so she could look at him with one eye.

"...both."

He chuckled softly and she closed her fingers when she started to smile, "you didn't really believe they'd just hand over the last enchanted tree to you without a second thought did you?"

"No but I had hoped for a little less resistance," she removed her hands from her face and smoothed the green fabric over her stomach, "ridding the land of Rumplestiltskin and they have to hold a talking flea circus to give me an answer."

He had missed her quick tongue over the years, "got a plan 'B' if this one doesn't work out?" The question came of wit a light laugh.

"Sometimes it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission?"

Both he and his mother laughed aloud, "I think that should be the plan if we get all the way to plan 'Z' and it fails," she tilted her head back to give him a look of disapproval but he could only laugh and smile down at her.

She rolled her eyes at him as she lowered her head back down, "would they think faster if I brought Snow back?"

"Don't use this as an excuse to bring her back," he smiled and she huffed, "bring her back because you want to bring her back or it won't mean anything to you," he placed a finger below her chin and tilted her head back, "okay?" She bit back a smile and swiftly swatted his hand away. He furrowed is brow in confusion as he laughed, "what?" She only outstretched her arm to point at Ruth who pushed her head back in a rich laugh that only increased his confusion.

"I-"

"No!" She shot her gaze over to her cut her off with her own laughter filled words, "you don't get to talk to me today," she laughed and Ruth laughed harder, "I can't even look at you right now," she mumbled in to her hands as she covered her face and shook her head and Ruth continued to laugh.

James looked between the two laughing women with his own confused chuckle, "what is going on?"

Still laughing, Regina lifted one hand from her face to blindly point at Ruth again, "don't talk," she only got laughter in return from both Ruth and James.


	26. Chapter 26

**Well look at how quickly this one popped up! Lol! And yes. Cora. Not yet but eventually! ;) got it all mapped out in my head :) enjoy! **

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"For God's sake Snow sit down," she grumbled as her friend continued to pace and fling her arms and hands around as she rambled, "you're driving me mad."

Ignoring Red's request she continued to pace inside the small camouflaged home, "it's been a little over two weeks. Right? So she could be coming. What if she doesn't? Oh but what if she does?" Nervousness laced both questions and she paused her pacing only for a moment before continuing, "he said he could do it in two and a half weeks..."

"You are going to make yourself sick. Please just sit down before I eat you. I'll mourn you when you're gone and it's quiet."

Snow chuckled and waved a finger in her direction, "you and her would be great friends."

Red scrunched her face in distaste, "don't even _joke_!" But Snow only continued to laugh quietly, "I don't want to be friends with her."

"She won't either but I have a feeling there is nothing either of you can do about it," she rocked her head on her shoulders mockingly.

"Oh no not one of your feelings again," she teased and raised an eyebrow.

"That was one time!" She protested loudly and through a laugh as she looked up at the ceiling.

Red simply shrugged her shoulders, "never going to let you live it down, not when you made a complete fool out of yourself," she grinned and laughed under her breath as Snow tried to bite back her own.

"Shut up," she dismissed the topic with a quiet laugh and Red straightened her posture in her seat victoriously, "what if she doesn't come?"

"Then you'll win your bet."

"But seriously what if she doesn't come?"

"I honestly don't know what you see in her. She's an enraged killer who has been out for your heart for years, why do you want to be with her? And if you say because she's your mom one more time I'm going to lose it."

With a huff, Snow dropped down so she sat next to Red, "you didn't know her before and you don't know her now either. She is good inside she's just been hurt so many times while being good that she's buried her goodness down. You were never loved by her but I have and it is a wonderful feeling. When she lets you in you get this overwhelming feeling of love and sense of protection like she'd lay down her life for your own without so much as a thought standing in the way. I felt it when I was younger and when she was brought to the palace I was absolutely thrilled that I would get it all the time but..." She drifted off in thought and played with her fingers before continuing, "I immediately noticed that her love for me was not the same, that she was troubled. I thought perhaps it would just take time for her to adjust to the royal life but she slowly drifted away and no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried I never got that love from her again."

Red sighed through her nose and looked over Snow's distant expression and frowned, "you still want it."

Snow smiled a small smile, "if she is able to cause this much fear and hate then just _imagine_ how much love and protection she can offer."

Red smiled in return and Snow dropped her eyes to her hands as she began to fiddle once again, "and this whole James thing?" Snow's expression brightened impressively at the mention of the pair but Red herself wouldn't be convinced until she saw it herself.

"You know I feel ridiculous for not figuring it out earlier."

"Oh yes you feel ridiculous for not putting a shepherd turned prince together with a murderous queen," she openly mocked and Snow shook her head with a smile.

"If you put it that way of course not but I meant their stories. I cannot begin to tell you how hard I worked to try and figure out who had suddenly made Regina so happy. You should have seen the terror in her eyes when I told her I knew she loved him...he was hers and she didn't want anyone to take him from her like I unintentionally took Daniel. Putting the timelines together now that would have been the day she was told he wasn't coming back.

Could you imagine that Red? Could you imagine being so alone and filled with anger, unable to escape it because you are trapped in a loveless marriage with the man whose daughter followed you around, the daughter who you took your true love from you and yet wants you to love her still? To try again and again to love that girl even though it physically _hurts_ you to do so because in your heart you know she didn't mean to take your love from you? To be reminded everyday of your lost love? To feel so completely hopeless and destroyed that you run away in the day to pretend it isn't real? That maybe if you hide you can escape that cold that threatens to take over you?

Can you imagine the relief you would feel when a complete stranger offers you that love and companionship you have been so starved of? To have someone that is solely yours that no one but you knows about? To have to hide your identity in fear that that person would get hurt? To love him so much that you try again to love the girl who took everything from you? Then to have that man disappear and be unable to come back to you? To come and save you? To save you from the loneliness and despair that fills you every time you come back to the place that is supposed to be home?" Her tears were falling fast now and the ache in her chest expanded to her entire body.

Despite the tears that she wasn't fully aware of she continued with a shaky and tight voice, "to have that girl try and comfort you but you simply cannot take anymore pain so you give up and you shut down? To let the emptiness finally fill you? To kill that man who looked at you like something beyond repair when you know very well that you can be repaired but he and his daughter keep breaking you? To be so unable to cope with seeing the face of that girl any longer you send her out with a huntsman with orders to kill her?

Being so warped by darkness that you kill because you have nothing left to lose? To be told that the second man you loved so so dearly is dead? That the man who had fixed you once was not going to ever be able to do it again? To have all hope lost? So you hunt the girl who brought you to this place but you cannot kill her yourself. You cannot kill her because under all that hatred and anger there is guilt and there is love. There is love for that young girl you saved from that wild horse. There is love for that girl who made and unspeakable mistake and broke her promise to you. Your heart is so big that you can still feel love for a girl you have every right to want dead."

With a heavy heart, Red turned slightly and put both hands over Snow's and watched as the tears continued to fall. Her friend had a good heart, pure and filled with hope and he ability to see the good in all. A heart that could find good in the darkest of people. An evil queen she once called mother. Personally she never understood what she saw but perhaps after her distressing story that forced her to take Regina's place she could see a little clearer now.

"Can you imagine that?" She whispered distantly, her voice pained and lost.

Red shook her head slowly, "no."

"Snow?"

Both women froze at the third voice originating from outside. Red felt betrayed by her senses that always alerted her when danger was near and she was danger. While she had never seen the queen up close, she had heard her voice many times and that distinct sound could never be forgotten or mistaken. But perhaps she truly wasn't a danger? Perhaps she really had come for Snow? The hope in her best friend's eyes told her that that is what she wholeheartedly believed.

So Red stood first and pulled Snow up by her hands before letting go and wiping the tears from her eyes as she whispered, "remember what James said. No attacking the woman," she teased lightly and Snow laughed a little and took a deep breath before walking past her to the curtain of vines that hid the entrance.

There she was. Proud and strong. Standing no more than fifteen strides ahead of her, the cold rigidness to her body was nowhere to be found and only uncertainty tensed her muscles and guarded her now warm and welcoming eyes, "hello Regina," she nodded politely and kept her excitement and nervousness bottled and was careful to avoid calling her 'mother'.

"You have been crying."

Snow nodded and couldn't help the way a corner of her mouth lifted a little higher at her notice and care, "yes I have."

"I do hope no one has died?"

Snow shook her head and fought hard to keep her smile from growing more than it already was, "no that person is very much alive."

Regina nodded slowly, taking note of an unknown and underlying meaning to Snow's words but not wishing to delve too deep in to conversation. She was uncomfortable enough as it was so she thought it best to get straight to the point of her visit, "I have been convinced to invite you to come back to the palace."

Snow wanted to laugh and cry and hug Regina until she couldn't breathe but instead she smiled and held still, "I would like that very much," she bit her tongue to keep her teeth from showing white as Regina cleared her throat quietly and smoothed out the fabric of her coat over her stomach. Snow could only assume that she hadn't gotten past this point in her careful planning of how the situation would play out and now she didn't quite know what to do.

"I suppose I will see you soon then."

"Yes," oh how she could have laughed so happily at the way Regina let a small smile warm her features for just a moment at her reply.

"Feel free to bring the werewolf with you if you wish," she offered neutrally as she motioned to the hidden home with her hand, "bring a leash if necessary."

"Hey!" Red pushed open the curtain of vines to find the queen looking her straight in the eye. She felt no shivers coursing down her spine however and instead found her lips pulling in to a grin without her permission at the queen's dark and mocking eyes. Putting her hands on her hips and pushing her lips together so the grin was not as prominent, she looked away and cursed at herself for actually enjoying the queen. No. She would try harder, she would not like this woman.

"The guards will allow you in without incident," she continued simply and looked back at Snow whose eyes had never left her, "good bye," she allowed another small smile before the purple smoke obscured her vision.

Snow waited a few seconds to assure Regina was gone before she burst in to a fit of excited laughter, "she came! She came to get me!" She turned around and bounded to Red and wrapped her arms around her as she laughed happily and Red laughed with her, "she came."

...

When she disappeared she didn't go far. No she remained well within earshot and well out of their line of sight. She wanted to know how Snow was going to react without her there.

There was a long pause of silence before a loud excited laughter reached her ears and exclamations that she had come to get her. It touched that sore place in her heart and she bowed her head and took a deep shaky breath to quell her tears welling up in her eyes. She had been assured time and time again that she would be okay and that Snow wouldn't hurt her. She still wasn't so sure however.

...

"So?"

"What?"

"Come on you know what I mean," he smiled as he walked up to her and placed the side of his finger gently under her chin to keep her from looking away, "how did it go?"

She would do almost anything he asked if he continued to treat her with such a gentle and loving hand, "I imagine she will arrive later tonight or early in the morning," the words came out in a sigh but shortly after there was a smile softening her features because she couldn't help but smile when his bright blue eyes looked down at her with such love. Oh how she had missed those eyes.

"I'm still not used to you being here," she said quietly through a smile and brought her hands softly to his face as he wrapped his arms around her waist giving her no room to slip away. "I love you," she paused for only a moment as tears started to pooled in her eyes without her consent but she smiled through them and whispered, "_so_ much."

He could only smile as he felt his heart skip in his chest, "I love you Regina, my precious precious girl," he hummed lovingly as he looked back and forth between watery brown eyes before he leaned in and kissed her. Just a soft kiss that had her moving her mouth against his in simple and delicate motions before he pulled away and smiled at her, "everything is going to be alright."

His reassurance did little for her wounded and flighty heart, "I'm not so sure," she confessed quietly with a worry ridden expression and moved her thumbs over the short stubble on his cheekbones.

"I know you won't regret bringing her back."

"I think you may be putting a little too much faith in me," she whispered with an uneasy laugh.

"Not at all," he assured happily and then teased her, "perhaps we should work on getting your mother back as well."

She let out a single laugh and moved her hands to his shoulders, "no."

"Oh come on," he teased and held her closer, "perhaps she's had a change in heart?"

"Doubtful seeing as how she doesn't have a heart," she quirked and eyebrow and tucked her chin in as she looked up at him.

"Well that's a little bit of a harsh thing to say," he chuckled under his breath and moved his thumbs over her lower back.

Regina nodded quickly, "no she actually doesn't have one, she ripped it out before I was even born," at his look of disbelief she nodded again and pointed over her shoulder, "it's in my vault with her things. You don't believe me I can show you."

James furrowed his brow and shook his head, "why would she do that?"

Regina shrugged sadly, "love is weakness because stood in the way of her gaining her power."

"Well that's foolish."

Regina raised her eyebrows and lifted her hands off his shoulders, palms facing up, "thank you. Unfortunately I did fall in to the same illusion during the past three years but up until the point you left I too believed it was a false mindset."

James smiled down at her and she looked back up at him with big brown eyes, "and now?"

She smiled and hummed a laugh, "I'd trade love for power in less than a heartbeat."

Her answer made him smile bigger until his teeth shone white, "glad to hear you haven't lost your mind," he laughed and she laughed quietly with him, "tomorrow will be a good day."

"I'm going to hold you to that."


	27. Chapter 27

**I got stumped with this chapter which is why it took so long but the next one shouldn't take nearly as long! :) enjoy and I will read your reviews in the morning :)**

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After dealing with the duties she had postponed because of James' arrival she made her way down to the courtyard where she knew he would be sparring with Claude. Clothed in fitted black pants, heeled black boots, a low cut cream top, and a long closely fitted dark green coat that just skimmed the palace floor she stepped out in to the sunlit courtyard that held her apple tree and stood next to Ruth.

She relaxed against the sun warmed stone of the palace and smiled as she watched the two men clash swords, "anyone win yet?"

Ruth shook her head and chuckled, "no they've been stuck in this duel since they started it," she looked her up at Regina whose smile grew in a scheme and she wondered what it could be. She couldn't help but laugh under her breath, "what?"

"Can't have them not learning anything now can we?" She smirked and pushed herself off the wall and grabbed their attention, "It looks as though you have reached each other's limit," she walked up to James and Claude. Claude only grinned and offered her his sword which she took with a smile and looked it over.

"You?" James question doubtfully and laughed under his breath.

Regina simply hummed a laugh and flashed her eyes up at him before lunging forward and enjoying the surprise on his face when he reacted quickly and stopped her blade with his own, "quick reflexes," she approved and then swung her sword and his countered her movement and they clashed again, "you are off balance," she looked him up and down and alternated through different pressures against his blade and watched him fight to stay still but he couldn't help but tip, "I can move you," she acknowledged and then shook her head, "you can't move me," she smiled when he tried but she remained balanced and still, "fix your feet and straighten your posture."

With a smile he did as he was told and instantly felt the difference in his strength. This time he was the first to move but she had an answer for every movement of his sword. She was deceivingly strong for her size and build, her movements effortless and fluent. Then just when he thought he was winning, her blade swung to hit his side but she stopped it less than an inch above his body.

"Dead," she smirked and he huffed out a disbelieving laugh. She withdrew her sword from his side and positioned herself to invite him to fight again. He swung his sword and she stopped it with a laugh that continued lowly as they moved and struck swords. Again she made a move for his side but he was just fast enough and stopped her blade before she had to, "fast learner," she complimented and then swung her sword as though it was going one way but then changed its direction so it moved up and in front of him, if she had outstretched her arm a few inches further the sword would have gone up through his ribs and toward his opposite shoulder.

She shook her head and breathed in through her teeth to make a hissing sound, "dead," she nodded and shrugged.

James smirked at her and without warning swung his blade at her with full force and she laughed in approval and brought her sword up, bracing the flat side of the top of her blade with her forearm so her weapon blocked his with ease. She was quick to recover and went at him again, she moved quick and smoothly, every attack he made she had an answer for and it brought a smile to his face. She was incredibly strong for her stature and he did not expect that but he was impressed.

The way she fought had him being constantly aware to keep his posture straight and strong for when he didn't her hits knocked him well off balance. Her eyes, when he saw them, were sparkling and lit up with the game they were playing. He got momentarily distracted however when her shining dark hair swung beautifully when she spun to get away from the pressing force of his blade against hers and nearly didn't catch her sharp sword from cutting his neck.

"Careful dear," she teased and heard the sound of Ruth and Claude laughing behind her.

"You're holding back," he grinned and leaned his head forward over their swords.

Regina grinned and a laugh vibrated deep in her throat, "indeed I am."

"Don't."

The playfulness in his expression had her smile growing all the more wide and she spun her blade quickly so it the point was under his chin on the other side of his sword. She gasped playfully and pointed with her free hand, "dead," the rich laughter coming from their audience had her laughing too and James chuckled under his breath.

"Come on James! What kind of a son are you? She's killed you a total of three times and you haven't even touched her yet," she flung her arms forward and Claude laughed beside her.

"I'm trying mother," he called back through a laugh and Regina took a step back to allow him to come at her again. He was growing tired but he attacked her anyway and they sparred with wide smiles and growing laughter.

...

"So this is where you are from," she looked up at the castle as they walked up the cobblestone path.

Snow nodded with a smile, "yes it is. It's nice to be back."

"Well here's to hoping you get to stay and stay alive..."

Snow scoffed and laughed under her breath, "I'm not going to die, I am going to be perfectly fine now quit being such a pessimist," she walked in to Red's side causing her to stumble to catch her balance with a laugh.

"I'm just here to remind you that this is a terrible idea and th-"

"Shhh," she put her arm out in front of Red and stopped walking.

"Don't shush me!" She laughed and then opened her mouth to continue but was cut off once again.

"Quiet. Do you hear that?" She smiled at her friend.

Red listened for a moment and then back was the downed tone of voice only this time it was laced with good humor, "swords. Great. So their perfect relationship lasted what? Two weeks?"

Snow shook her head and laughed quietly, "no, listen," they waited in silence and at the sound of Regina's laughter her face lit up and her smile grew, "she's laughing again," she said quietly and happily. The sound lifted her heart and she picked up a silent jog and continued up the path with Red running behind her, constantly hissing under her breath how it was a bad idea.

She slowed to a walk just before she reached the top of the path and came to a stop when she reached the edge of the courtyard. Regina's back was to her and they were on opposite sides of the space but she could still hear her's and James' laughter along with the guard's and Ruth's. She turned her head to look at Red with a smile and she smiled back as she shook her head before they both returned to watching the couple sword fight. She didn't know Regina was so skilled with a blade.

"Stop holding back!" He laughed and swung his sword at her and she stopped it with ease.

"The last time you told me that I killed you within a matter of seconds," she teased as she maneuvered effortlessly around him, their blades hitting hard and loud.

He stopped her swings quickly, the movements coming a little easier now, "I wasn't ready then."

"Oh and you're ready now?" She laughed lowly and stepped closer as she slid her sword down his own until it hit the start of its hilt.

"Yes," he grinned and then leaned forward and kissed her over their crossed blades. She kissed him back with a light and amused laugh but did not once let up the force of her blade against his. Her mouth moved slowly with his for a few moments longer before he pulled away quickly and they moved their swords again, clashing them hard together and not at all surprised that she wasn't thrown off by their kiss. He backed up a few steps and grinned at her and lifted his free hand, beckoning her forward with his fingers.

She laughed through her grin and spun her sword in her hand to get a good grip before letting loose on him.

"Whoa," he laughed as she moved faster and stronger, barely giving him any time at all to recuperate between hard blows that knocked him off balance.

"You two have certainly come a long way from chasing sheep!" Ruth called and clapped her hands in amusement as her son got pushed around the courtyard like a foal trying to walk for the first time

"Come now dear," she laughed and spun again to increased the strength of her hit, "you are at least twice my size," she paused and raised her eyebrows as she smirked and then continued her unfair assault on him.

"I'm pretty sure that's the problem!" He laughed with her and continued dodging and blocking her sword. But then he missed one and her the cool metal of her sword laid lightly against the skin of his neck and he bowed his head with a laugh.

"Dead," she grinned with an open mouth and laughed as she lowered her sword, "you done?"

James sighed and pushed his head back to look up at the sky as he tried to catch his breath while she laughed and Claude and his mother laughed behind him, "for now yes," he laughed and brought his head back down to shake it at her.

She rested the point of the sword on the ground and her hands on the hilt as she leaned forward with a throaty chuckle. As she leaned back up straight she kept her smile in place but her laughter died slowly, "Snow, dear, it isn't polite to sneak," she watched James as his brow creased with confusion and he looked around for Snow and Red.

"Sorry," she smiled and stepped closer, "I didn't want to interrupt," the moment Regina turned her head to look at her, her dark eyes became just as conflicted as her expression. It wasn't anger or cold and murderous hatred however. To her true relief her mother was conflicted with the fear that came along with not wanting to get hurt by trying something again that had hurt in the past and then there was that flicker of tenderness that James had miraculously managed to bring back. And that rich and heartwarming laughter. She had missed it.

Regina looked her up and down, taking in her ragged appearance and then moving to Red's to find that she didn't look much better. It was going to be difficult, truly very difficult but she had support now in the form of James and Ruth and even Claude if she needed, "yours and your father's things have remained untouched and your horse is still down in the stables. I suggest you clean yourself up if you are to resume your role as princess," she finished it almost in a question and Snow's smile grew but she kept herself from showing her teeth as she nodded subtly, "run along then," she stepped aside and in to James to offer her plenty of room to pass, "don't lose your pet," she smirked and Snow held back a quiet laugh while Red folded her arms over her chest and ran her tongue over her teeth.

Regina cocked her head and smiled at the new brunette as she looked her up and down before Snow started to walk and Red followed. She couldn't help but notice that while Snow fought with herself with an appropriate distance to pass her at, Red walked much further from her than necessary, "scared I'll rip your heart out?" She teased with a smirk.

"Didn't want to ruin your pretty little jacket with my claws your majesty," she quipped as she turned to walk backwards and lifted her hands in front of her as she wiggled her fingers.

Regina hummed an amused chuckle and then turned to look at Snow, James' hand finding her waist, "I'm sorry," she said slowly and honestly. Sorry that she had hunted her, sorry she had thrown her out, sorry she had shut her out emotionally, sorry that she just couldn't love her like she wanted to.

Snow smiled and nodded, her voice going a little tight with a rush of overwhelming emotions at the unexpected apology, "I know," she couldn't wait any longer. Her first few steps were rather cautious but as she got closer and Regina remained still and kept herself open her last couple steps were a little quicker and she wrapped her arms tightly around her and turned her head in to her dark hair.

She was incredibly tense in her arms but she didn't let go and after a few seconds Regina's arms were lifted and held her awkwardly but some of the tension had left her body, "I'm glad you're doing better."

Her heart ached in her chest and she cringed at the initial contact but the pain didn't quite go away. It was not as intense and didn't reduce her to tears like it had in the past but the love she wanted to feel for her didn't come as easily as she wanted it to, "I am too," she replied quietly and was torn between relief and disappointment when Snow let go and backed away.

"I will see you in a little while," she smiled and Regina nodded back with a tight smile. It was most certainly progress.

James smiled in greeting with Snow and Red before watching them walk in to the palace out of sight, "it will get better," he whispered and rubbed his hands up and down her arms while she kept her eyes focused on the door they had disappeared in.

Regina cleared her throat and shook her head clear of troubling thoughts, "mhm," she put on a smile and then tossed the sword up to catch the blade in her fingertips and tilt its handle toward Claude, "thank you for letting me use it," her smile came a little easier as Claude nodded and smiled at her in return.

"Quite a show you put on," he chuckled and took the sword from her, "and now if you'll excuse me your majesty, I must relieve my colleague from his post."

"Of course," she nodded once and as he left them her gaze fell on to Ruth as she walked up to her.

She reached forward and held her hands that she left to hang together in front of her, "you are doing so well," she complimented with a wide smile, "and it is perfectly alright for you to break down;" she rolled her eyes playfully and Regina laughed softly.

"Unfortunately I don't have time to break down just yet. Rumplestiltskin, fairies, enchanted trees, and threats of war must be dealt with first," she smiled a little and teased gently, "you two have brought me a lot of work."

James rubbed his hands over her shoulders and asked curiously, "war threats?"

"Seems George is quite sore over the two of us. I won't lead my kingdom in to war if I don't absolutely have to but I have begun quietly making preparations for an attack on my people. It takes time to train an army and I sent word out yesterday that it was in need of expanding," she sighed slowly and smiled as she looked Ruth in the eye, "hopefully I won't have to use it."

...

"Well don't the two of you look pretty," he grinned as he looked them over. Snow was dressed in a pink satin gown that almost looked to be white and Red wore none other than a deep red gown, "how does it feel?"

"I feel like I'm suffocating," Red laughed and held her hands over her stomach, "but it is nice to dress up. And be entirely clean," she added with a quiet laugh.

Snow laughed quietly and shook her head at her, "where is Regina?"

"With the Blue Fairy and trying to talk her in to giving her the last enchanted tree," he answered simply with a smile, "she hates dealing with fairies so I am waiting to calm her back down when she's done with her."

Snow smiled at him and shook her head slowly in quiet admiration, "why does she want the tree?"

He smiled back at her, "long story short it is going to rid this land of Rumplestiltskin. He wants to leave and Regina is helping him do so. Apparently we have wiped the future from existence."

Red tilted her head and sucked air in through her teeth, "not even going to ask what that means."

"On to more important matters," she adjusted her weight so she rested most of it on one foot, "I couldn't help but notice there is no ring on my mother's left hand."

James laughed and shook his head, "I am just waiting for her to settle before I get her too overwhelmed. Getting you back here was most of it and now I'm just going to wait for a plateau in this crazy time where she can actually enjoy doing nothing but stare at the ring," he smiled and Snow had her head cocked with the most adoring of smiles.

"I love that you consider things like that for her," she could feel a calming warmth flow through her body at the image of Regina doing such a simple thing.

Red shook her head, her voice a little tense with a bit of frustration, "I still just can't wrap my head around the two of you. You two are such polar opposites."

He shook his head and laughed under his breath, "evil was her armor that she put in place to keep herself safe from harm. I can assure you that when she is herself she is the most gentle person I have ever met."

Snow nodded in agreement, "she's just cautious."

"Cautious?" To her slight annoyance both Snow and James nodded.

"Aggression is one of the best defense mechanisms."

"How so?"

Snow simply shrugged and moved her hands as she talked, "if you were cornered and wary that you would get hurt would you not turn in to a wolf and hurt anyone that tried?"

There was a moment of silence as Red mulled it over and slowly nodded her head, "...alright."

Not wanting to dwell on the dampening mood, James leaned back and put his hands out on either side of him to hold the railing behind him, "you know when I do marry Regina, and I am going to marry her," he assured and Snow chuckled quietly, "I am going to become your step father," he smirked and lifted his chin a fraction higher.

"Why would you say that?!" She laughed with her jaw dropped, "you just no! No! I am not calling you 'father'!"

"That is quite alright, I'm not asking you to," he smirked and then shrugged, "just gives me the authority to tell you what to do."

Snow gritted her teeth together and shook her head as she raised her finger at him and laughed, "you-" she was interrupted with the door to one of their great rooms was opened and Regina closed it behind her with a thud, clearly trying hard not to slam it.

James eyed her over as she leaned back against the door diagonally across the hall from them with her eyes closed. "that bad?" She raised a finger in a gesture silently telling him to wait.

When she felt the glowing pest leave she started to mumble with an irritated tone, "stubborn little flecks of wasted matter. It seems they are made up of whatever was left over in this land when it was created because it was absolutely useless but it couldn't be left to just lay around."

James laughed quietly under his breath and shook his head as she walked over to them and continued to mumble relentlessly but it was just too quiet to hear, "still no tree?"

"Oh no I got the tree! Believe me that bug wasn't going anywhere until she gave it up," she sighed through her nose and looked up at him, "do you know any carpenters? Apparently manual labour plays a factor..."

"I know a man," Snow lifted her hand almost shyly and then continued with more certainty when Regina's dark eyes focused intently on her, "his name is Gepetto. He made my bow awhile back and it's been the best bow I've owned."

"Well then bring him here to carve the tree in that room," she left no room for argument but cleared her throat gently when she saw James look at her through her peripheral, "please."

With a smile, Snow nodded, "I'm sure I can do that."

"Thank you," with that out of the way the uneasiness she felt while in the presence of the blue eyed girl returned. She didn't know what to say and she didn't know how to act, her body and mind fought between the patterns of the past and hope for change in the future. Needless to say she was grateful when James was the one to start talking.

"You wanted to show me something earlier but you didn't have the time?" He offered with a smile a moved his arm to wrap around her waist. She said no such thing but he knew she needed a reason to get away.

Regina pulled her gaze slowly from Snow, turning her head before allowing her eyes to follow the motion, "yes I suppose I do have time now," she smiled up at him, still a little nervous about showing her affection toward him in front of Snow. The last man Snow watched her love was killed and James was nearly killed at the mention of his existence to the girl.

...

"Thank you for taking me away."

"You're welcome," he relied quietly with a smile. He laid on his side with his head propped up on his hand and she sat with her back leaning up against his stomach and her legs outstretched in front of her.

"I don't know what to do," she shook her head and laughed sadly and quietly as she looked down at her hands. He played with the ends of her hair, running his fingers through it and twisting the dark strands around his them as he remained silent and listened.

"I have no happy medium," she started and then put her left hand out, "I either shut down and become cold and angry or," she lifted her right hand with her palm facing up, "I am an emotional wreck. When I don't have something else on my mind all I can think about is how I can't allow myself to shut down but then that only leaves me frazzled and terrified and I hate that more than anything."

"Tell her that," he said gently.

"Tell her what? That the fact that she is going to be sleeping right down the hall again terrifies me? That I want to love her but I can't because it hurts me?"

James nodded, "yes," he watched as Regina tilted her head back with a quiet humorless laugh before she looked at him, "what?"

"I can't say that."

"Why not?"

"Because..." She opened her mouth to give an answer but found herself shaking her head and turning down all the reasons she gave herself, "you can't just-I can't just go up to her and say something like that, I can't put myself in a position to get hurt."

James sat up slightly so his upper body was supported on his elbow and his hand was on her thigh while his hand that had been playing with her hair moved higher so it held the nape of her neck, "you are not going to get hurt, put a little faith in her."

"You _know_ I don't do that very well."

"You have to start to try or you're not going to get anywhere," he shook his head and she clenched her jaw, displeased with his rather stern tone. She didn't like being told what to do but sometimes that is what she needed and really it was what she had asked of him. She was lost and didn't know what to do so he told her, "you trust me?"

Regina's shoulders dropped and her eyes closed, irritated because she knew what he was going to ask of her next, "yes."

Her grumble made him smile and he moved his thumb over her thigh, "I wouldn't tell you to do something that would hurt you sweetheart. You two need to talk so that you know what is going on and what exactly it is that you two need from each other."

"I don't know what I need from her..."

"Well you need to talk to her for starters," he smiled at her when she moved her eyes to the side to look at him but kept her head straight.

"I am not happy with this idea...give me another one."

James laughed quietly and shook his head, "there isn't another one," she sighed through her nose and dropped her eyes back down to her hands, "every heartache will fade away," he sat up a little further and kissed her shoulder over the green fabric and then rested his chin on it, "just like every dark night turns in to day."

Regina chuckled softly and shook her head slightly before she turned her head and pushed it back far enough for her eyes to focus on his, "it's been a very long night."

"I bet it's going to be a beautiful sunrise," he smiled and she rolled her eyes and straightened her neck. He laughed under his breath and kissed her cheek as he maneuvered his way around her back on to his feet in front of her, "come one," he offered her his hands, "let's get you in the same room with her."

"No, James," she protested with a sound akin to whining as she closed her eyes and tilted her head down and to the side, "I don't want to do it at all."

"Just get it out of the way, come on," he smiled and beckoned her to him with his fingers but he only received stubbornness in return. She sat unmoving, her legs still outstretched in front of her and her hands in her lap as she stared at him through dark and storm ridden eyes with her mouth set in discontent, almost a scowl really. In return he put his hands on his hips and raised his eyebrows, "really?"

He received no response, only a blink, "alright," he shrugged and gripped her shins and quickly pulled her closer."

"James!" She shrieked and tried to squirm away but his hands found her waist and lifted her on to her feet with little effort at all on his part. To her annoyance he kept his hands firmly placed around her waist to keep her from getting away and looked down at her with a smile. She only snarled at him, "fine."

"It won't be as bad as you think, I promise," he spoke quietly and gently, encouraged by the fact that she had stayed in place instead of using magic to disappear to somewhere else. It allowed him to see past the anger she was currently showing with his demands of her. He wasn't about to let the habits she had developed over time stay in place when they were keeping her from being who he knew she could be, "come on, let's go find your daughter," he spoke gentler and rubbed his hands up and down her sides and she turned her head slightly away from him and pursed her lips together as she swallowed.

He removed one hand from her side, giving her a direction to walk in and felt the pressure of his remaining hand slightly increase. She knew he was right, that she should talk to Snow but she just did not want to be put in that position. She didn't want to be vulnerable in front of the girl again.

With her head held high and her steps hesitant, she walked out in to the hall with James at her side.


	28. Chapter 28

**Well so much for this one not taking as long lol! Sorry guys! But here you are, a happy happy chapter :) enjoy! **

* * *

"Mother," he grabbed her attention from the swirling magic in the mirror.

Ruth snapped her head up and looked at Regina, "there is a man in your mirrors dear."

"Yes. He was once a genie."

She cocked her head at her neutral and disinterested tone and then looked up at her son as she pointed to Regina in a silent question.

He smiled and placed his hands on Regina's shoulders, her irritation absolutely unmistakable, "I need you to keep an eye on her for me. Make sure she doesn't go anywhere," he looked down at Regina with a smile as she subtly shook her head in short quick movements, "I'll be right back I just have to go find Snow."

"Why are you so cranky?" Ruth questioned with a teasing smile that grew gentler and welcoming when Regina's dark eyes flashed up to her and she kept her jaw tight.

"I'm not cranky," she snapped but readjusted her weight and posture so it was less aggressive when Ruth lifted her eyebrows as if to say 'oh really?'. Regina folded her arms over her chest and looked at a point on the floor between herself and Ruth, "I don't want to do this."

Ruth only chuckled under her breath and the pieces started to fall together in her head, "lock them together in a room?"

Regina dropped her arms to her side limply in protest, "no don't do that."

"That's the plan," he chuckled and Regina made a sound mixed between a whimper and a pout that had him kissing the side of her head in a gesture of support.

"I don't like _either_ of you right now," she grumbled and got quiet laughs in return.

Ruth walked forward and took the queen's hands in her own, "I'll put her in that little drawing room around the corner and sit with her until you find Snow and bring her to Regina," she smiled at the beautiful brunette but only got a look of intense displeasure from the woman.

"I am standing right here there is no need for you to talk as though I'm not."

"Come along dear," Ruth chirped happily and took a step back so Regina's arms were partially outstretched in front of her but Regina didn't follow, "quite digging your heels in like a stubborn mule," she chuckled and Regina huffed irritably and began to walk, "good. You know this needs to be done."

"Need and want are two entirely different things."

"You want to change your relationship with Snow and unfortunately for you, my dear, this is how it starts," she smiled at her, walking at her side now with Regina's hand between both of hers.

...

"Whoa whoa whoa," James sprinted in front of Snow and Red who were riding at a trot down the road toward the palace gates. His arms were waving and the horses skidded to a halt before he bent at the waist for a moment and tried to catch his breath, "you have no idea how hard you are to find!"

"Searching the entire palace for me Charming?" She teased as she rocked her head on her shoulders.

"Yes! At a run!" He took a deep breath and then let it go before he stepped forward and took her horse's bit gently in his hands to keep the bay stallion from moving, "Regina has agreed to talk to you."

He had her full undivided attention now, "about what?"

The softness to her voice and the hope that filled it let him know she knew exactly what and it made him smile, "you don't have a very big time window," he watched her quickly dismount her horse and look up at Red with the widest smile, "she's not particularly happy with me right now for making her do this."

Snow could only laugh in excitement and pulled him in to a strong hug that he returned momentarily before she let go, "we'll postpone the trip for tomorrow Red," she turned to look at her but found she had to lower her eyes because Red was already on the ground with the reins of both horse's in her hands.

"You'd better hurry," she smiled and cocked her head gently, "she isn't going to wait forever," she knew better than anyone that Snow wanted to mend her relationship with the bitter queen.

"Where is she?"

...

"You need to sit," she took the pacing woman's upper arms and pushed her down in to a chair, "down!" Ruth chuckled and Regina huffed in the chair, "you're making yourself anxious and driving me insane."

"I don't want to do this."

"So you've told me," she nodded and smiled, Regina's voice growing less angry and more and nervous and flighty as the time passed. Even now she was fidgeting with her fingers so Ruth pulled a chair up in front of her and took her hands in her own, "you darling, darling girl," she smiled and Regina's eyes flicked up and searched her own in a silent plea for an escape or at the very least a distraction, "your hair is going to turn grey."

Regina lifted her head and tucked her chin in as her brow creased, "what?"

"All of this unnecessary stress you put yourself though. Your hair is going to turn grey and fall out," she said with a stern seriousness but kept her expression soft and playful and watched as a small smile started to curl on Regina's mouth as she relaxed, "however you are a very beautiful girl and I'm sure even without hair you would be pretty," she laughed under her breath and Regina bowed her head to keep herself from laughing along.

She rubbed Regina's hands and forearms, "I know that this is hard for you and I know you have gone your entire life without having to do it unless you truly want to and that has only happened what? Three times?" Daniel, James and herself.

"Yes three..."

Ruth nodded and smiled gently, "that didn't kill you did it?"

"No..."

"That girl out there wants to know you, dear. She wants to know you so badly that she can barely stand herself but she also knows that you don't like people to know you because you find it absolutely terrifying," Ruth tried to catch her eye but Regina kept them down, "so she has given you your space and has respected your fear and will wait patiently until the day you decide it is okay to let her in. She isn't going away anytime soon dear, so I suggest that you save yourself the stress and the heartache and just jump right off that cliff instead of teetering on the edge and causing yourself unnecessary panic."

After a few moments of silence and stillness there was a soft knock on the door and Regina looked up over Ruth's shoulder and Ruth craned her neck to look at the closed door. She looked to Regina once again who didn't look at all pleased that there was someone on the other side. With a pat on her knee she stood up and put her own chair back as Regina stood up slowly, her eyes down and her mouth set in nervous irritation, "come in," Ruth called happily and glanced at Regina over her shoulder. She still was entirely unimpressed with the situation and it only brought a smile to Ruth's face.

She took a deep breath before opening the door in to the small room and cautiously stepped inside. She felt Regina's eyes on her immediately and looked her way with a smile before her gaze moved to the older woman that walked up to her.

"Play nice you two," she waved a finger and Snow smiled while Regina remained silent. She slipped past Snow and closed the door behind her to find James standing in the hall. Ruth smiled at her son and then lifted both hands and crossed her fingers.

"I like Ruth," Snow started once the door was closed and Regina remained silent, "she's very easy to get along with."

"Very headstrong."

Snow laughed quietly and sat down in a larger cushioned chair and tucked her legs up beside her, "you like her too you're just frustrated with her for keeping you from changing your mind."

"I never had a say in the first place."

"You always have a say Regina," she smiled and put her hands in her lap, "if you truly didn't want to talk to me we wouldn't be here right now."

That was probably true..."you've changed out of your gown," instead she wore a tan coat that nearly hit the floor and dark brown riding pants and boots and a red shirt beneath with a swooped neck.

Snow looked down at her attire and then back up at Regina, "yes Red and I were going to go fetch Gepetto," Regina raised her eyebrows a fraction and then turned her head and nodded in approval. Snow supposed she hadn't expected her to go right away.

They sat in silence for what seemed like hours before Regina decided to follow James' suggestion, "so here's the thing," she willed herself to look Snow in the eye while every fibre of her being was screaming at her to run from experience, "you scare the hell out of me."

Snow smiled sadly and nodded as she cocked her head and lowered her voice to a near whisper, "I know."

"People don't want to know me unless they have a selfish reason that will in turn cause me distress and pain so it is hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that you are trying to help me."

Snow nodded quietly and took everything she said to heart, "I know you don't like to be vulnerable but may I ask why it is especially difficult for you to let me get to know you?" She asked gently and held Regina's nervous gaze, "why does it hurt you to love me? Is it my fault?"

"No," she answered quickly and shook her head slowly before she repeated it slower and quieter, "no dear it is not your fault," she could feel the tears burning in her eyes but she continued because she found she couldn't stop, "you remind me so much of Daniel, Snow. Everything about you, absolutely everything. Your good and gentle heart, the way you have always tried to help me catch my footing even when I'm at my very worst, the way you always looked at me like you believed I wasn't broken but that I just needed something to hold me steady so I could stand...even your eyes once belonged to him," she took a shaky breath to try and steady her thickening voice but left her tears to continue to fall, "everyday since his death I have had to look at you, the little girl that caused his death, only to see him, only to feel that sharp pain in my chest that never let me accept that he was truly gone and could never love me again," she whispered her last words and knitted her brows together sadly when Snow's own tears started to fall as she remained sitting in silence.

"I know you are not to hold the blame for his death, you had good intentions as you always have. You were just a little girl and you were a little girl who was going to get everything you ever wanted," she smiled but their tears continued to fall, "everything I had ever wanted and almost got to have. I was so close," her brow furrowed once again and she shook her head slowly and her voice didn't grow angry, it only grew so it verged on despair, "and then that one broken promise took it all away."

She found it a relief to talk and for her to hear these things, it felt like slowly the weight was being lifted from her heart even though it felt like it was breaking all over again, "I want to love you Snow. I really do. I do love you but I just can't show it because every time I try it feels like I am being torn in two. You can reduce me to tears faster than anyone because I hate myself for not being able to show you the love you deserve. I can't even seem to look at you without wanting to run away."

Snow's voice quivered with her cries that she had been holding in, she had never even considered that she reminded her of Daniel. Oh how that must hurt her, "and you still tried."

Regina nodded and cocked her head and she smiled as her tears continued to fall, "of course I tried, I am still trying. I could love you once without it hurting...I can do it again," her mouth pulled in to a sad frown when Snow broke down and started crying in her seat and brought her hand up to cover her mouth as she averted her eyes from her.

Regina walked up to her and lowered herself down so she sat on her heels and balanced on her toes, one knee lowered to the floor for further balance, "hey," she whispered slowly and sadly as she placed her hand on Snow's arm and gently pulled her hand from her mouth before swallowing and carefully bringing her hands to Snow's face and wiping away the girl's tears, the contact stinging her heart, "please don't do that dear."

Her tender voice as she looked up at her through watery dark eyes only made her tears fall faster. She was trying again and she could tell it still hurt. She wanted to hug her and hold her until the pain went away but she knew that that would only make it worse. They had to get everything out before they could reorganize and put everything back in its proper place. They were going to be in this room for a long time and that was okay, "d-do you want to start from the beginning?" She managed to get through with a shaky voice as Regina kept her hands on her face and soothingly stroked her thumb over her cheek, "from the day we met through to today?"

After a moment of thought and a few more shed tears, Regina nodded slowly and whispered through her the constant throb in her heart, "alright."

...

James walked up to Ruth who had remained where he left her down the hall from the drawing room Snow and Regina were in, "they are still in there?" He was surprised given that Regina had been so reluctant to follow through that she and Snow hadn't left the room since they had put them in there early that afternoon. The sun would be setting soon now, it was just above the horizon.

Ruth shook her head and shrugged, "they haven't made much noise at all that I can hear from over here...they have a lot of years to work through."

He nodded in agreement and sighed through his nose and then his nodding turned to shaking and he hummed a quiet and amused laugh.

She turned her head to look at him and squinted her eyes as she smiled, "what?"

"I can't believe she is the queen."

Ruth huffed out a laugh, "you and me both! How did our simple precious girl turn out to be the regal and powerful queen?"

"When you find an answer to that question you let me know," he smiled and shook his head as he laughed quietly with his mother. "Do you think we'll ever get used to it?"

"I think we are going to forget that they are two different people," she turned her head and smiled up at him before looking back at the closed door down the hall, "I think that she's going to let herself be that simple precious girl that chased sheep bareback with you behind her and she is going to let this queen persona go. As for the new surroundings I'm settling in just fine how about you?" She grinned up at him and he laughed at her a little louder but not so loud to be heard by the women down the hall.

"The beds are nice," he admitted, instantaneously regretting it.

A low laugh vibrated in her throat, "I'm sure you think so."

"_Not_ what I meant," he jutted his head forward and shook his head with his eyebrows raised. She only continued to laugh under her breath and he rubbed his hands over his face before resting them on his hips with a laugh, "how much longer do you think they'll be?"

"I have absolutely no idea."

"Do you want me to stay here and you take a break?"

"Oh no I'm fine, you go finish whatever you interrupted doing to come check up on them," at his hesitance to leave she smiled and continued, "our entire lives have been turned upside down. I am grateful for whatever time I can find to just sit and watch like we did the sheep."

He hummed a tender laugh and leaned down to kiss the top of her head and wrap an arm around her shoulders, "I love you."

She leaned in to him with a smile, "I love you too son."

...

They both sat on the floor now, legs crossed, hands moving as they talked and laying in their lap when they weren't. She had found it easier to talk to Snow than she had previously thought and that was certainly a surprise that was only pleasant. She found herself smiling a lot more than she had planned to. Of course they didn't last long but every now and then one would pull at her mouth and they were growing all the more frequent now that they were in the time period when James had entered her life.

Snow hadn't realized how much Regina knew from simply watching over the years in the palace. She didn't talk and wasn't seen unless it was necessary but she knew everything as though she was always there and she knew a lot more about herself than she ever realized. She knew things about herself that she didn't even know until she said it. She was also in a lot more distress during those years than she had previously believed.

She noticed that her voice was coming easier though and the tears from both of them hadn't become any less frequent until now, until she was smiling, "first kiss?" She absolutely _loved_ how Regina laughed quietly and ducked her head to hide her blush. It made her happy and her heart skip in her chest, "come on," she laughed and playfully pushed her knee before putting her hand back in her lap. She wanted to hear what it felt like for her to be kissed by someone she loved and someone who loved her for the first time in years.

"I had wanted to kiss him so many times before and there were many times that I could have. I knew he would never kiss me first because he knew I was married and he didn't want to make my life any more difficult than it already was. He let me have the decision, putting his own desires aside to let me make the decision when I was ready and knew what I wanted."

Regina smiled happily as she recalled the treasured memory that she had shared with no one else, "it happened that day I was pretending to get a dress fitted. I'm sure you can remember that day."

Snow couldn't have wiped the smile off her face if she had tried, "I do," she was honored to have had Regina trust her with such a sensitive thing.

"I told him he needed a haircut and a shave and he asked me to do it for him. I was just pleased he trusted me with a blade against his throat. I made myself focus on what I was doing rather than how close I was to his face and I made it all the way until the end. But then I just had to go and wipe away the cream I missed on his lip with my thumb and I asked myself why? Why was I still waiting and wondering when I could just know?"

"And?" She asked quietly and Regina's smile grew and she looked her right in the eye.

"I kissed him," she dropped her eyes again when Snow's smile grew, "and when he kissed me back...I don't think I had ever been happier, everything felt so right and this tingling warmth just washed over me. It was so...sweet and, and tender and it was wonderful to be kissed like that again, nothing crazy or fierce, nothing empty or lonely, just simple and kind like a new love should be."

Snow hummed softly, feeling at peace with Regina's small tale, "I like that," she had long since come to terms with her father's death long ago and she held nothing against Regina for it. She liked to look at his death as a sacrifice for Regina's happiness. It was what both he and herself had tried so hard to give her and never could but now she could have it, "what happened next?"

"Ruth walked in on us," she laughed softly, "seems she is developing a habit of that as of late."

...

"That day you broke down in the castle..."

Regina laughed once, entirely humorlessly and she shook her head sadly and asked quietly, "which one?"

Snow frowned and her shoulders dropped sadly and Regina kept her eyes down, "you were screaming at my father, begging him to stop looking at you like 'that'...what did you mean by that?" She asked quietly as she ducked her head slightly to try and catch Regina's eye.

"...it didn't bother me so much in the beginning...it hurt but I felt the way that your father looked at me was actually quite defining of me. Like something broken beyond repair, something that no one could mend and bring the life back in to...I was a shell, stuck and observing, looking for anything that I could hold on to to keep myself from falling any further. I found nothing," she whispered and the first tears fell when she closed her eyes and smiled, her head bowed, "and then a simple shepherd who knew nothing about me gave me something to hold on to, a perfect stranger took the time to convince me to talk and tell him what turmoil was twisting inside me."

She had long since given up on wiping away her tears and she let them fall without interruption, "from the very beginning he looked at me like I was an actual person and not something that was withering away and would eventually disintegrate never to be seen again. He gave me hope that I could change, that I really could be happy again and I was so _relieved_," she breathed out the last word tiredly and then shook her head, "when you told your father about him I didn't get to see him nearly as often or for as long and that meant I got less of the people that loved me and kept me steady and sane. Then George took him I didn't have that anymore, yes I had Ruth and yes I was told he would return but the majority of my time I ended up spending here in the palace and that meant being lonely and worried and having to be looked at through the eyes of a man who couldn't fix me and only made everything hurt more...I snapped under the pressure," she confessed quietly and kept her eyes on her hands that laid limp and still in her lap.

Snow sat in silence and simply watched Regina with a frown. She understood her better now, taking in every word and every tone and movement she used and soaked it all in. She was able to get in to her head now and find the reasons for her decisions in the past but there were some she still could quite understand and she was not about to begin assuming Regina's reasons when the woman herself would tell her why. Regina was a complex human being and there was always more to hear.

"The first time I met James it was not nearly as constructive as when you met him," she found the mood to be heavy and thick with darkness and pain so she thought she could lighten it a little, even if it did stray from the timeline they had agreed to follow. Regina lifted her eyes quietly and watched her intently, her face expressionless, "first time I saw him I hit him in the jaw with a rock," she shrugged and looked down at the floor with a simple and exaggerated frown and when she caught sight of Regina starting to smile she stuck her arms out a little and started to laugh quietly, "second time we met he caught me in a net and left me hanging in the trees so yeah I'd say I got the short stick from the very beginning with his relationships with women."

She nodded and laughed through her words, her laughter growing a little more when she looked up to see Regina smiling again and laughing ever so softly under her breath. Everything came so much easier now and she could only hope that at some point in time Regina would allow her to stand beside her as she did James and Ruth.

...

"What time is it?"

"I have no idea..." Regina looked around the room but found there were no windows to show how late it was. Both herself and Snow got to their feet and moved to the door and she opened it to find the sky painted boldly with oranges and pinks through the window that stretched the length of the hallway. It was much later than she had thought.

"I forgot how nice the view was from here at this time of day," Snow smiled and followed Regina so she stood next to her in the hall in front of the window. Regina was calm and over what apparently had been several hours she had noticed that things had been easier for her, "thank you Regina."

"For what dear?" She asked quietly and absentmindedly as she stared out at the painted sky. She was shocked back in to reality when Snow hugged her tight.

Snow panicked and her body's actions without her consent and nearly pulled away but stopped herself when Regina hugged her back.

She tensed at the contact because of habit, preparing for heartache but discovered that there was none. So she slowly moved her arms around Snow and laughed a quick and short laugh filled with joy and relief when she felt love break through the last bits of the walls around her heart she had built to keep Snow out. She was still sore, very sore, but it wasn't a growing pain anymore. So of course she hugged her tighter.

She pulled her closer and turned her head into Snow's dark hair and moved her arms so they wrapped securely around her, one arm bent at the elbow so her hand held the girl's head on her shoulder. She started to laugh happily as tears of joy made their way through her closed eyes.

Snow was startled at first but recovered quickly and clamped her arms around her and began to laugh with her into her neck. Regina was holding her so tight, clinging to her and it was wonderful. She felt that similar love from her that she did as a child and it brought tears to her eyes and she held her tighter in return. Her love was sad and broken but it was healing and it was most certainly a wonderful start, "mother," her voice was hopeful and shaky with laughter and cries.

That didn't hurt either, she laughed a little bit louder and moved so she held Snow's head between her hands and wiped away her tears as she looked in to those bright eyes, "yes dear?"

Snow continued to fight between laughing and crying as she kept her arms around Regina and felt that welcoming protection the woman that she admired was able to give again, "I've missed you," a few more tears fell from her eyes and Regina wiped them away with a heartwarming smile as her own tears fell from dark eyes that seemed so bright, "and I love you so much."

Regina laughed happily and leaned in to kiss her daughter's cheek before pulling her back in to her arms just so she could feel how it was so easy again, like it was when she pulled that little girl in to her arms after saving her from her runaway horse, "I love you Snow."

That didn't hurt either.

...

She found him talking to a couple of her guards but she only hurried her light happy steps and when she was only a few more away from him he turned his head and smiled at her.

"Regina, how di-"

She cut him off with a kiss and kept his head in place with her hands on either side of his head as she pulled herself up in to him. She pulled away but stayed close enough for her to focus on his happily confused expression, "you gorgeous, wonderful, beautiful, smart," she kissed him again, "loving, good," another kiss, "_good_ man," she pulled him down and herself up for another kiss through his laugh. She allowed him just enough time to kiss her back before she pulled away again with a smile and kept her hands on his face, "thank you."

He could only assume that she was talking about making her talk to Snow, "you're welcome," he glanced at the guards in farewell as they made their leave.

"I'm sorry for being so difficult," her words bounced with happy laughter and she shook her head, enjoying it when his arms wrapped around her middle.

"As long as it all worked out in the end," he smiled and she continued to laugh, her eyes showing signs of tears that had recently been shed.

"It worked out wonderfully," she felt like she could just float away she was so light and happy. So she pulled herself up for another kiss and took her time with it, letting her relief and absolute joy flow through the slow movements before she pulled away with a smile that showed her teeth and rested her forehead against his and laughed softly with him when she nuzzled her nose against his.

She was fragile right now and he knew her well enough to know that but it was a good fragile, fragile in the sense that she would break down in tears of joy at the simplest of gestures. He was proven correct when he brought his hand up to softly caress her cheek with the back of his fingers and he cocked his head lovingly when she started to laugh and cry at the same time. He hummed softly and smiled gently at the happy mess of emotions she had become.

He couldn't even begin to imagine what it would feel like for her to finally have the ability to make amends with her daughter. He could feel his own happy tears well up in his eyes at her tender tender heart, "sweetheart," he whispered softly and slowly through a smile and repositioned his hand on her face so he held the side of it and she leaned in to him with a shaky laugh and looked up at him through watery dark eyes, the vibrant colours of the sky reflecting in those tears.

She moved her hands so that one of them held his over the side of her face and the other held his arm. He couldn't wait to see how loving Snow would bring out her true self. Snow was one of the last pieces that she needed and it was most certainly one of the biggest, "you are so happy."

"Yes," she nodded quickly and felt more tears fall down her cheeks as she laughed, "I am," she turned her head and closed her eyes as she laid a kiss on his palm and then put her head back in his hand, laughing softly and happily through her tears when his thumb began to move over her cheek, "I love you so much," she cried out in a hurried sentence that was filled with a mixture of laughter and tears.

He smiled down at her, his heart aching in his chest wonderfully as her grip around his arm tightened and she pushed her head heavier into his hand while simultaneously increasing the pressure of her hand over his while her eyes remained tightly closed. He leaned in and gave her a soft and lingering kiss on her temple and his arm around her waist tightened, "I love you, you sweet and tender woman," he spoke quietly and lovingly with a smile full of adoration that only grew when she opened her dark eyes, "so much."


	29. Chapter 29

**I'm sorry this took so long guys :/ I've been writing Unfolding a Plan like a mad woman lol! I can't put that story down and unfortunately this one has sort of suffered for it. This chapter should have been up awhile ago! I didn't mean for UAP and this one to correlate hahaha oh well! I hope you enjoy it :) **

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This was one of his favorite things and no one but him got to do it which made it all the more treasured. Waking up before Regina. She was a beautiful creature and he never got tired of looking at her. He had over three years to make up for. Everyday more and more of the Regina he knew came to stay and every day less and less of the evil queen was there. Of course she had her moments where she would retreat behind her walls or lash out viciously but they were becoming fewer and fewer and she was getting better at catching herself and getting better at smoothing things over after.

He would get so lost when he stared at her, she was stunning. Slowly and without saying a word he slipped his arms around her waist to pull her close to him. She woke up at the contact but kept her eyes closed as she took her first deep breath of the morning air before nuzzling her face in to his chest and letting the air out her nose. She was warm against him and her sleepy self brought a smile to his face and he rested his head on top of hers.

He could feel her start to doze off again as he played with her silky hair. Her breathing slowed in to peaceful slumber and he found himself wanting to follow her, the warmth she provided was making him drowsy and he allowed his eyes to fall shut while he continued to play with her hair. She fit just right in his arms, she was just the right size, much smaller than she seemed to be.

He was almost asleep again when he felt her wake up, "what is it?" He whispered tiredly in to her hair as he adjusted his arms around her so he held her closer.

"I forgot about someone in my tower," she laid there with him a moment longer as she gathered her thoughts before she sat up quickly and hurried off the bed, instantly missing the comfortable place in his arms, "damn it."

James moaned into the warm spot on the bed that she had left, missing her warm body up against him already, "what are you talking about?"

"I'll be right back."

"Regina," he grumbled tiredly and lifted his head, "where are-" she was no where to be found. With a soft laugh he dropped limply back in to the bed and took a deep breath of the sweet smell she left behind.

...

"Rise and shine!" She called and the sleeping brunette startled awake.

"Wha-?"

"Come on dear we don't have all day, get up," she motioned with her hand and the girl slowly got to her feet, "that's it, a little faster."

She looked over the queen through drowsy eyes, she stood in bare feet and her hair was left to hang in soft dark curls while she wore nothing but a black silk night gown. If she was not mistaken she would have to say the woman had just woken up herself and why she was asking for her she hadn't the slightest clue. Why she wasn't cold and taunting she didn't know either.

Regina looked her up and down and took a deep breath as she shook her head, "so much to do in so little time...better get started. I am afraid to tell you that over the past month I have forgotten you have been up here. Sorry about that. Better late than never," she shrugged and took her wrist in her hand, explaining nothing to the confused girl before they disappeared in a cloud of purple.

They reappeared in her bedchambers and James was still on the bed where she had left him, "back," she smiled and he laughed quietly in to the bed. Dragging the former prisoner behind her, Regina walked to the bath in the smaller room off to the side and waved her hand over the deep porcelain tub so it filled with water. She let go of the girl's wrist and quickly skimmed her fingers through the warm water with an approving smile, "perfect every time."

She looked around the room in awe, white marble, a large mirror across the entire wall above the counter, the large bath with gold feet lifting it off the white floor. It was an impressive room, quite unexpectedly bright for a woman known to be so dark.

"Soap is there," she pointed to the side of the tub, "scrub yourself clean, wash your hair, so on and so forth. Do it quickly but not so quickly that miss spots. You may eat while your hair is drying when you get out and I will give you something to wear," she walked from the room without further explanation and closed the door behind her leaving the poor thing in the room to gather her thoughts on her own.

"Who is that?"

"Rumplestiltskin's girl," she walked to the side of the bed and sat down on the edge as he began to sit up, "her name is Belle."

James looked at her quizzically, trying to understand if she meant what he thought she meant, "like...?"

Regina laughed under her breath and shrugged her shoulders, "don't ask me how it happened but yes those two do love one another."

"Huh," he stated simply as he mulled it over. He supposed if a shepherd could love a dark and broken woman, a simple woman could love a dark and twisted man...

He was brought from his thoughts when she leaned her head against his chest and he smiled down at her, "you know," his fingers slowly trailed up her arm and to her shoulder as he lowered his head so his mouth was closer to her ear, "black is a wonderful colour on you," he teased and pushed the strap from her shoulder.

She turned her head toward his voice with a grin and a chuckle, "there is a person on the other side of that door."

"Doesn't mean I can't look," he whispered through a smile and moved his fingers lightly up her thigh from her knee, taking the hem of the black silk up in his travels, "or touch," she sighed contently and sank in to him as his hands wandered over her body. He let the silk go and it fell back down a couple inches but left the majority of her thigh uncovered for his eyes as his fingers moved up her side and to her shoulder as she laughed happily under her breath.

He rested his head against hers and slid both his hands down her arms to her hands and smiled when she left them relaxed for him to move them as he pleased. He found himself paying extra mind to her left hand and moving over the finger that should hold a ring. Perhaps if everything went well today he would finally ask her. His heart skipped at the very thought and he dropped his head down a little further so his chin rested on her shoulder, the side of his head still resting against hers.

She didn't seem to clue in to the extra attention her one finger got and it made him smile all the more. She held no expectations of him besides him always being there for her so he didn't believe that she had thought any deeper in to the possibilities of that expectation. With a happy hum he intertwined their fingers together, left hand with left hand and right with right and hugged her close around her middle.

She looked down at their tangled arms and fingers with a smile and moved so her legs were tucked up beside her and she leaned against him heavier only to have him wrap both of their arms around her tighter. This was the place where she found peace and the place she felt the safest and the place where she hadn't a worry in the world. Right next to him, right in his arms was her special place. A place she could go to no matter what was on her mind be it the nagging desire to strangle an irritating being or the simple want to be there because she could.

"I like you," she smiled and tilted her head a little so it pushed affectionately further into his.

He laughed softly, "I had hope that you felt a little more than just 'like' toward me."

"That's not what I meant," she smiled and kept her voice gentle and happy as she melted into him, "I love you dearly and I also like you. The two words don't always go hand in hand. For instance I love my mother but I certainly do not like her. I like you though."

"Well in that case I like you very very much," he smiled and she laughed amusedly under her breath and through her teeth as she smiled and he kissed the soft skin of her bare shoulder before resting his chin back down. He took a deep breath and smiled at the sweet scent that filled his nose, "you smell good," he grinned playfully and turned his head in to her neck and nuzzled his face in, her throat vibrating against his skin as she laughed and tried to get away from the rough stubble on his jaw that tickled and scratched her neck.

She squirmed and tried shrugging her shoulders up to keep him off as she laughed and tilted away from him. She moved her legs up in front of her, bare toes on the edge of the bed and her knees tight up against his chest, curling herself in to a ball as James arms and hands remained wrapped around her effectively taking away the use of her own arms as she laughed, "James!"

"Yes Regina?" He chuckled and she cringed happily through her laughter at the sensation of rough stubble moving against soft skin. She continued to try and get away but he easily held her firmly in place despite her squirming.

...

"Close your eyes dear," she directed quietly and when her blue eyes fell shut she brought the tip of her pencil above her lashes, making a perfect thin line to accentuate her lashes.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Had a change in heart," she answered simply and continued painting her face to gently exaggerate her natural beauty.

Belle couldn't help but smile and the pencil moved to her other eye, "anything to do with that man I saw this morning?" She was pleasantly surprised by the sound of soft and friendly laughter come quietly from the queen.

"Everything has been because of that man you saw this morning," she answered with a smile and put the pencil down only to pick up a large brush and smoothed a softly coloured powder over her cheeks, the corners of her eyes creasing in a friendly smile when bright blue eyes fluttered back open.

She couldn't help but smile in return. She found great joy in seeing a broken soul fixed, "you know, you are much more beautiful when you're sane."

Regina laughed quietly, the girl's accent making the words sound just that much more endearing, "thank you dear."

"Mother? What exactly am I looking for for her in here?" Snow poked her head from Regina's vast wardrobe with a quizzical expression and thrummed her fingers over the door.

"Something fit for travel dear," she replied, joy flowing trough her even still at the way the words came so harmlessly and easily, rewarding even. "She's got quite an adventure ahead of her."

"Where am I going exactly?" She questioned skeptically and the princess smiled and laughed quietly before disappearing once again, "I don't particularly want to go on an adventure. What I want is-"

"Hush hush dear," Regina turned back to face her and cut her off with a smile and a wave of her hand, "I can assure you," she bent at the waist and moved her attention to the girl's mouth as she gave her lips a soft shade of pink, "you won't want to go anywhere else."

...

"As I'm sure you are aware, this tree has the ability to transport two people," she lifted her hand and showed two fingers the imp.

"Yes yes I am well aware!" He hissed impatiently.

"I need you to take someone with you."

Now he was entertained. His posture straightened and he laughed, "and what makes you think I'm going to do such a thing dearie?"

"Oh I'm sure you'll agree with me when you see who it is," she smiled and cocked her head, much to his clear agitation, "come on out now dear," she called and never removed her eyes from Rumplestiltskin, "quite a nice girl don't you think?" She nodded and scrunched her nose just as Belle rounded the corner behind her.

His heart all but stopped beating as he laid eyes on the woman over Regina's shoulder, "Belle?"

She laughed happily and ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly and causing him to step backward to catch his balance from the force she collided in to him with. She had managed to go the whole day without finding out what the queen's plans were for her. What a welcome surprise. She had never been so thrilled to see another person.

He was stunned at first, unsure of what to do so his arms laid awkwardly over her but as he gathered his thoughts his arms wound tighter and he closed his eyes as he turned his head in to her hair, "Belle."

"I've missed you," she laughed happily into him and hugged him tighter as tears of joy threatened to fall from her eyes.

"I've missed you too," he whispered and held her close. A special anger for Regina bubbled deep inside him but he would address it later, in a moment or two, after he grasped the concept of Belle back at his side.

...

"Are they coming?" Snow whispered and Ruth peaked around the corner once more.

"No," she whispered back and then leaned against the wall, "do you smell them Red?"

"Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?" Red retorted and when she received waiting stares from both of them she shook her head and laughed before she smelled the air, "they're close, just around the-whoa!" She pushed them all back in to hiding when Regina and James rounded the corner down the hall.

"I can't see anything!"

"Move out of the way!"

"Shut up!" Red snapped in a whisper at the two who were bickering quietly, "they'll hear us!"

...

"A world without Rumplestiltskin," he smiled and she hummed softly, "and without an Evil Queen. It's going to be really quiet around the Enchanted Forest."

"Oh don't be so sure," she laughed and shook her head, "there are a plethora of things and people that I have kept from you. George for one is quite insistent on killing the both of us or at the very least you."

"He certainly isn't one to let things go is he..."

"No he certainly isn't."

"I've got something for you," he smiled and looked down at her and she looked up at him with an excited and curious expression.

"Do you now?"

"Mhm," he smiled and stopped walking only to move in front of her as he lifted the ring from his pocket and held it just below her eye level. Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion and she cocked her head as she stared at it.

"That's Ruth's ring," she didn't understand. Why would he be giving her his mother's ring?

Her obliviousness touched his heart and his smile grew with her confusion, "yes it is," he nodded and reached down and took her left hand in his right, the ring in his left, "and she wants you to have it instead of me finding another one," she still didn't understand and he absolutely loved her for it. It was only when he began to slide the ring on to her finger that the confusion on her face morphed in to shock and she backed away from him with her free hand over her mouth to muffle the gasp but kept her left in his hold.

"Regina, my dearest _dearest_ friend," he smiled at her as her wide eyes flashed up to meet his and leave the ring, her hand still over her open mouth and tears shining in her eyes, "the queen who took the time to chase sheep with a poor and simple shepherd, will you do me the true honor of becoming my wife?"

Her eyes fell back down to the ring with the small green jewel set in the gold. No it wasn't spectacular, no it wasn't a diamond, no it wasn't expensive, no it wasn't impressive but what it was was precious and and more valuable than anything in her entire castle, entire kingdom for that matter. "Yes," she whispered and he smiled which only caused her to laugh happily and say it a little louder, "yes! Yes of course!" Still laughing excitedly, she jumped in to him and he caught her with his arms hugging her waist as hers hugged his neck and he spun them around once, their foreheads resting against each other's and their smiles and laughter only growing.

"I would love to be your wife, my shepherd," her voice bounced lightly through joy and excitement and adoration for him. She kept waiting for things to turn around and fall apart but they only kept getting better. She was getting her happy ending and she couldn't believe it. Not even when he closed the distance between them with a kiss that muffled their excited laughter. Oh but she was so happy.

She was his, all his and no one could dispute that. He put her back down slowly but kept her close, not that he really had to fight her to do so. She stayed pressed right up against him, smiling and laughing beautifully before him, "I love you," he shook his head slowly as he laughed and took in everything that was her.

"I love you too," she laughed and stared in to his bright blue eyes before looking down at her left hand to see the simple ring with the green gem before lifting her hand and turning it so he could see it as she wiggled her fingers a little, "look!" She laughed happily and her eyes suddenly brimmed with tears, tears that fell over her smile when both his hands took her left between them and he kissed her knuckles

...

"Damn it," she whispered, her voice shaky as she wiped the tears from her eyes, "I promised myself I wasn't going to cry."

Ruth shook her head and laughed quietly, "I didn't," she sniffed back her tears and shook her head, only laughing quietly when more fell from her eyes. She didn't think she had seen anything else that would hold a more precious space in her memory.

"You guys are soft."

Both Ruth and Snow turned their attention to the third woman's questionably thick voice and they both laughed at her quietly as she avoided eye contact, "if I didn't know any better I'd say you were crying too," Snow teased and Ruth laughed a little more.

"...no..." The other two only laughed quietly and turned their attention back to the couple around the corner while she continued to avoid eye contact. Perhaps it was that Regina's story hit a little too close to home or perhaps it was that she got to see that even though things way seem irreversibly damaged there was still a chance for happiness. If a once so evil queen could find love again then why couldn't she find it again herself.

"We should get out of here before they see us."


	30. Chapter 30

**I'm sorry for the wait guys! I got super carried away with Unfolding a Plan lol! But the next chapter for this story is almost complete so it shouldn't take too long for it to be posted :) enjoy!**

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James cut her off in the hallway, effectively making her jump, "where are you going?"

"You scared me!"

"Where are you going?"

Regina huffed through her nose, her jaw clenched and she tried to step past him, "I'm going to get my father," he only stepped with her, cutting her off once more, "James. You are not coming with me."

"You are not going without me."

"This isn't a game James," her tone was stern and her jaw was tight, "I can't have you getting hurt, I can't let her get her hands on you."

"Who?"

"...that's not important. What's important is that you stay here safe from harm."

She tried once more to get past him but he stopped her once again, "Regina I am not letting you leave here without me. You can either agree and let me help or you can continue to disagree and I will follow you anyway."

"Or I can lock you up somewhere with your hands bound."

"Funny," he nodded and smiled and her jaw clenched and unclenched irritably, "Regina I don't want to lose you again, I can't lose you again so I am not about to let you skip off to another land without me at your side."

"I don't want to lose you either which is why I don't want you to come!"

"Regina we are getting married tomorrow-"

"Which is why I want to go and get my father. Do you have any idea how long I've been looking for him? I want him back, I want him to see me happy, I want the two of you to meet, and I want him to be here to walk me down the aisle."

"I understand that Regina," he smiled and stepped forward so his hands held her arms just below her shoulders, "I am not going to stop you, I am just not letting you do it without me."

Regina clenched her jaw and stared at him, a moment later she made a sound that was a mixture between a growl and an angered scream as she threw her arms up in the air and spun around and her tense arms jerked around in small movements, "you have never been more infuriating than you are right now!"

James simply waited patiently for her tantrum to pass. The Evil Queen would cause harm when she was angry or when people wouldn't obey her command and now she was trying to find a way to cope. He found it rather adorable really.

Hissing angrily under her breath as she shook her head irritably she spun back around and stalked past him, her voice tight and furious, "come on. You're carrying the dead body."

...

"Well this is neat."

"Did he really have to come? He is one more person to look after and I need to get home in one piece thank you very much."

Regina nodded, her muscles still tense, her mindset still irritable, "yes he really had to come. He's like a puppy, if I left him home he wouldn't shut up and he'd destroy things in the process of trying to get back to me."

James laughed quietly as he looked around, "I heard that," he received an indifferent and dismissive wave from her and nothing from the man called Jefferson. Everything was colorful and bright, it was interesting and nothing was truly its proper size, "where should I put this Richard character?" He asked and shifted the weight of the man slung over his shoulders.

"Anywhere is fine dear. I never did like him, he was quite a nuisance and I'm sure the rest of my royal guard will be happy to hear he finally passed in his sleep. I actually wouldn't be at all surprised if one of the others killed him themselves..." She drifted off when the maze could be seen from their point on the top of the hill.

James laid the man down off to the side of the yellow path and walked to her side. Four in and four out, that was the rule for this journey.

"Don't touch me," she snapped when he moved to do so, "I want to be angry."

James chuckled quietly and shook his head, "alright," he gave her a kiss on the side of her head anyway and he heard her sigh as she shook her head in short movements. He only smiled and looked over the massive maze of hedges, "please tell me you have some sort of magical solution to get through that without actually having to follow the long messy route that could get us lost forever."

Regina smirked and hummed a low laugh, "what do you think of fire?"

James nodded and pushed the corners of his mouth down in amused thought, "fire sounds like a great solution. You sure the Queen of Hearts won't mind?"

"She'll mind very much," her voice lowered angrily and she started walking with the two men following close behind, "that's the point."

James looked to Jefferson with a question and the man lifted his hands to his sides and shrugged.

"The two of them have never been on good terms. I don't know who she is or what she's done but they certainly do not get along."

...

Regina opened the small box and smiled a wonderful smile and laughed quietly and happily, "what is in the box?" They were here to find her father and she had told him that they needed to be quick. In and out. Burning down a her man-eating bush was sure to bring the queen to them in quite a rage and that was worrisome.

He walked up to her side and looked in to the box when she put her finger inside. He found a tiny older man hugging her finger and James could help but smile and laugh happily with her, "hey! Look at that!" He pulled her in to his side with a hand on her waist and kissed her temple before looking down at the small man who was now looking up at him curiously. Her poor father had a lot of catching up to do, "how do we make him bigger?"

"We have to wait just a little while longer," she never pulled her eyes away from her father and she never stopped smiling at him.

"I hate to bring an end to this truly touching reunion," Jefferson pushed his hands in his pockets and bobbed his head around as he rocked from his toes to his heels, "but I hear the promising sound of armor and footsteps," he grinned and cocked his head."

Regina nodded and slowly pulled her hand from the box, "it will only be for a little while daddy. We'll get you out of here."

...

Regina was running right next to him and Jefferson was just ahead but then she stopped in her tracks and had him stopping and spinning around to see what had happened, "Regina!"

She ignored him and worked to catch her breath as she plucked a piece from the mushroom and then walked quickly up to James. She would be here any second and she could perhaps make it through but they would have to go that very second and even then she may catch her wrist and pull her back. Instead she pushed the box and small chunk of mushroom in to James' hands, "you give him this once you are through the mirror and under absolutely no circumstances will you come out!"

Her voice was commanding and loud as she walked forward and pushed him backward. Her stern tone and stone expression left no room for argument but plenty for worry and fear for her, "Re-"

"Under no circumstances! Do you understand me?!" She could feel her behind her and her heart was racing.

Behind her a cloud of purple smoke appeared and it started to uncover an older woman and his instincts told him to run when she began walking toward them, "Regina who-" he was cut off when she gave him a firm push and he fell in to the mirror, the last thing he saw was the older woman snatching Regina's arm and Regina turning to face her.

He stumbled to regain his balance and once he got it back he nearly ran right back through the mirror but he stopped himself and he stayed. This time he felt he should stay and listen to her incredibly stern request. Then he remembered her other instructions and he dropped to his knees and opened the box and smiled at the older man, "your daughter told me to give this to you."

"Oh I wouldn't do that just yet," he pointed down at the prince and shook his head.

"Why not?"

"Well your going to want to take him out of the box first."

Sound logic. James had come to assume that the mushroom would make him bigger, "alright. Um," he cocked his head to try and determine how do get the tiny man out, "how about you just," he put his hand in with his palm facing up, "climb up and I'll set you on the floor."

He watched him climb on to his hand and with a smile he lifted his hand from the box and placed it on the floor and when he jumped off he handed him the mushroom, "there you go. I'm looking forward to see you at eye level."

Blue smoke pooled around the small figure and as the cloud grew taller James rose to his feet and soon after he was looking at a proper sized man, "hello," he greeted and the man looked up at him, "I'm James."

Henry took the man's offered hand and shook it, his expression showing his need for more information, "hello James. I am Henry, Regina's father. And who might you be?"

"I am her fiancé."

...

Regina held her arm up in her mother's grasp, her fingers curled naturally in their relaxed state. There was no point in fighting her so she stood tall and stared at her in a way that gave nothing away.

"You didn't think you could just come in here and steal from me without me knowing did you?"

"I actually expected to see you much sooner. Not that I really minded the delay."

"Your beautiful face does you much darling but that tongue of yours," she shook her head and let go of her daughter's arm that was clothed in a maroon coat, the fabric hugging her close and falling behind her to skim the ground, "undoes it."

Regina took her arm back and held it across the front of her at a diagonal, "I've been doing quite fine."

"So I've heard," Cora laughed quietly and nodded her head as she moved her hands so they hung in front of her, one hand holding her opposite wrist, "tell me darling was that the peasant I have been told has stolen your heart? I thought you would have learned after the first one."

Regina bit down on her tongue to keep herself from snapping at her and instead put on a smile and leaned forward, bent at the waist just a little and her arm still across her front, "I am the queen. Who I decide to spend my time with is not of your concern mother."

"I would very much like to meet the man," she nodded and took half a step closer so they were no more than six inches apart.

"That isn't going to happen. Goodbye mother."

"You're not going anywhere Regina."

"I do hope I don't have to see you again," she narrowed her eyes and tucked her chin in as she tilted her head. She moved one foot back but Cora snatched her arm once again but this time Regina ripped it from her and raised her voice, "I put you here for a reason! You took everything from me! You broke me almost beyond repair!" Then she lowered her voice to a low growl as she shook her head slowly and pulled her lip back in a snarl, "the only reason I call you 'mother' is so that you don't hurt me more."

She had a proper mother now. She had Ruth. Yes she still loved Cora because yes deep down she still wanted that love from her in return but she was no longer starved of it because Ruth had given it so easily.

"I will find you again Regina. I will not let you throw this away!"

"I am not throwing anything away!" She screamed angrily and threw her hands down to her sides in tight fists, "I am getting married tomorrow! It hurts me to know that you won't be there and that you are not going to be happy for me. At least father will," she gave her one last look over before she started to back away once again, silently putting up an invisible wall when Cora tried once again to take her. She hit the wall and anger burned in her cold dark eyes but Regina only watched her with a frown and disappointment in her eyes as she backed up further and disappeared in to the mirror.

"Finally," Jefferson threw his hands up and let them drop limply to his sides.

"Regina," James called and left Henry to hurry to her. She turned around and he saw the conflict and sorrow in her eyes but before he could ask why it was there she pulled him in to a kiss. His hands held her waist as she pressed herself against him and held his face. She broke the kiss and rose on her toes to hug him around his neck and he hugged her around her middle.

"Thank you for listening to me."

"Are you alright?"

She nodded a little too quickly and his arms wrapped tighter around her because he knew she was lying, "I'm fine."

"Who is the Queen of Hearts to you?"

She shook her head, "this is not the time or place for that discussion dear," she smiled and then she remembered who else was in the room and she abruptly pushed herself from her shepherd, her fingertips still resting lightly against his chest as she looked at her father for the first time in years, "daddy."

"Hello my child," he smiled and her smile shone bright as she laughed happily and ran to him and hugged him tight. She was significantly happier than when he had been taken from her while she was married to the king. How she had come to be getting engaged to the man behind her he did not know. He had been locked in a box for a time period he didn't know how great.

"Let's take you home," she loosened her grip around him so she could look him in the eye with a wide smile before kissing his cheek, "alright Jefferson. Let's go."

...

Ruth found herself pacing the room but when the hat started spinning and a large hole with purple spinning inside it appeared on the floor she found herself jumping on the small sofa in fear of falling in. Then it vanished and in it's place stood Regina and James and the man who must be the one controlling the hat and then a third man she had never seen before and given his age she was lead to believe he was Regina's father.

"You young lady," she pointed to Regina as she got down from the sofa and walked up to her, "what were you thinking? I've been worried sick! Where have you been?!" She didn't get an answer. Instead Regina hurried to her and held her face softly and smiled at her.

"I love you. Thank you for being so good to me and caring for what is truly best for me."

Ruth smiled and hummed a soft laugh, "now how am I supposed to stay upset with you when you say things like that?" She shook her head in quiet amusement and rubbed her hands up and down Regina's sides before pulling her in to a hug, "I'm happy to see you are unharmed," she rested her chin on the woman's shoulder and in doing so caught sight of the older man watching her as he stood next to James, "are you going to introduce me?"

Regina smiled and pivoted so she was right against Ruth's side with her arm around her shoulders as she led her to the trio, "Ruth this is Henry, my father. Daddy this is Ruth, James' mother but in a way also mine."

Ruth glanced up at Regina with a joyful smile and then looked back at Henry and bowed her head politely, "nice to meet you," when she raised her head to find him smiling back at her before he bowed to her, her smile grew in to a quiet laugh.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well. There is much my daughter has to tell me, I am afraid I have missed quite a lot more than I had expected."


	31. Chapter 31

**The getting ready :) lots of parts in this chapter make me smile and the next one will have lots of Evil Charming in it :) enjoy! **

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Ruth snuck quietly into the room to find Regina's lady in waiting yanking hard on the lacing of her corset, "can you even breathe dear?"

Regina looked in the mirror in front of her to find the reflection of Ruth over her shoulder, "no," she smiled and then there was another firm tug from behind. Her eyes followed Ruth as she walked closer shaking her head until she stopped beside her and looked over her reflection.

"Aren't you just a pretty little thing," she smiled and cocked her head and Regina smiled in return and then nodded her thanks to the girl behind her when she finished and made her leave. A beautiful white corset hugged her torso and the cups allowed for some freedom of most pressure but kept enough to push her breasts up, the entire garment decorated with a layer of intricate white lace.

"Would you like to help me into my dress?" She smiled in to the mirror and Ruth nodded quickly, her smile growing wider with every passing moment, "okay," she answered quietly and happily. She was excited that Ruth was there to help her, she didn't let it show of course but she was truly ecstatic. It meant a lot that she had come to her, mothers of the bride helped the bride and while she had always though of Ruth as her mother she wasn't sure if it was applied to this situation. She was happy to know it did.

She had kept the dress from everyone, hidden with magic because she knew quite well Ruth would be looking and that she would likely rope Snow and Red in to looking with her. So, with a wave of her hand, she uncloaked the dress and hung it over her arms as she walked back in front of the mirror next to Ruth who was grinning at the dress that held no shape just yet.

"Look at the fabric," she exclaimed quietly as she ran a hand over the white chiffon with beautiful and extremely intricate lace embossed in seemingly random places over the entire gown, roughly the size of two hands high and one wide. Under the chiffon and lace were many more layers of white fabric that, from what she could tell, would give the skirt more volume, "put it on, put it on, put it on!"

Regina laughed softly and maneuvered the dress and herself so she stepped in and pulled it up, holding it over her chest while Ruth began buttoning the many  
small buttons starting at the base of her spine and moving up until just below her shoulder blades. She loved the feeling of having Ruth so close.

"These buttons are the darnedest things..." She muttered to herself as she willed her fingers to close the tight fabric around Regina's small frame. With the last button closed she smiled victoriously and nodded at the beautiful line the rounded buttons made down Regina's spine. Assured that it was perfect, she stepped back to look at the entire picture.

The gown was strapless and the neckline was a simple and subtle sweetheart, the lace covering the entirety of the top of the gown and then slowly converting to beautiful patches here and there as the dress went seamlessly from bodice to skirt. The skirt trailed out behind her wonderfully while the front hung from her hips smoothly and hit the ground so that when she wore her shoes the hem would skim the floor.

"You are beautiful dear!" She whispered as her eyes continued to wander over the gown, "so so beautiful."

Regina smoothed the fabric over her stomach and laughed softly, looking down over the dress herself, "thank you," when she looked back up she found Ruth with tears in her eyes and fingers over her smile, "don't start crying because then I'm going to start crying and then you're only going to cry more and-damn it Ruth," she looked down and tried to laugh it off but there was no stopping them, "now I'm crying."

"I'm sorry," she laughed quietly and walked up to her and pulled her into her arms, "you've come such a long way and now you finally get to be happy and have the things and the people you want...you were so troubled and unhappy when you first came in to our poor and little family," she smiled and then pulled away only enough to look Regina in the eye and wipe away her tears, "now look at you," she said quietly through her watery smile and Regina bowed her head with a soft laugh.

"Thank you," she started and lifted her head as she shook it gently, "for everything. I never would have made it without you and James. You saved me. For that I will forever be grateful," she ended in a whisper because that's all she could handle now that the tears were falling and her throat was tightening.

It touched her heart to hear such words and she smiled at the girl, "come here dear," she whispered and Regina fell back in to her arms, clinging to her tightly with slim strong arms as she buried her face in to her neck. Ruth smiled and hugged her just as tight, "you saved us too you know. Sure perhaps James may have found another girl if he looked hard enough but they wouldn't have been as perfect a match as you and him are. He loves you so much Regina, you have no idea how much it killed him that he couldn't ask you to marry him in the past because of your marriage to the king.

I talked him out of following you home too many times to count. He wants nothing more than to make you happy Regina. Nothing more. And now he has you and I cannot tell you how happy he is.

As for me not only did you literally pluck a lethal arrow from the air and saved my life, you let me have a daughter. You let me in to your heart and that is something I do not take for granted. You, my dear, have done more favors for us than you know," she smiled and held her for a little while longer before she kissed the side of her head and pulled away to wipe her tears away once more, "now, no more crying. I know a very handsome man who is waiting to see a beautiful woman."

...

"Well look at you all fancy," she grinned and nodded approvingly as she walked around him.

James chuckled and straightened the cuff of his grey coat, "well thank you," he looked over the pale green gown she wore, "you don't look half bad yourself."

Snow smiled and shook her head as she walked around in front of him and swept off his shoulders with her hands, "not as amazing as Regina is going to look."

"Have you seen her?"

His desperately curious tone made her laugh quietly, "no I haven't but I know she is going to he absolutely beautiful. She always gives it her all on special occasions and this, Charming, is a very special occasion," she smiled and took a step back with her hands on her hips and looked him over for any imperfections, "it's always been something I've admired about her. No matter what turmoil is burning inside her, she always looked absolutely perfect."

"I can attest to that," he nodded and laughed under his breath, "even in a commoners dress she looked wonderful, almost too good to belong. Never suspected 'queen' though," he shook his head and straightened his other cuff, "that was hard to wrap my head around. Didn't think that when I married it would be to a queen."

"Pretty sure Regina said a similar statement when she got married. Only with less...amusement," she smiled and shook her head dismissively at him when his expression saddened for both her and Regina, "don't think on it. Things are going to get be much better this time," she nodded and at the knock on the door both of them turned around to find Henry walking through, "I'll leave you two to talk."

"Thank you Snow," he smiled and nodded as she slid past him and then he turned his attention to the man standing before him, "hello."

He smiled in greeting and nodded politely, "hello."

"I haven't had much time to get to know you but my daughter is quite smitten with you and assures me that you are a good man. Forgive me for being cautious but the past men in my little girl's life have caused her a great deal of pain and I have spent a long time in a box with nothing much to think about but the ways I have failed to keep her safe and assure her happiness. I want to be better for her, I don't want her to get hurt again."

He took no offense, he was happy to hear there was at least someone in Regina's family that was their to aid in her achieving her happiness, "I can promise you that I will never hurt your daughter, I would lay down my own life if it meant she wouldn't have to get hurt again. I know of her pain and I am so very sorry to say that I did cause some of it and I spent three years of my life trying to find her and soothe her pain, I didn't realize how far I had caused her to fall until I did find her and I have already devoted the rest of my life to trying to make it up to her and loving her with all of my being.

I have known your daughter in her simplest and purest form before I knew of her status as queen. I knew her as the girl who rode bareback and chased my sheep with me, the girl who wanted nothing more than someone to talk to who would just listen, all she wanted was someone to love her for her and I am honored to be the one she chose.

If you had been here I would have asked for your permission to marry her before I asked her. There is still time, however, for your ultimate say," he smiled and cleared his throat quietly, "Henry Mills can I have your permission for your daughter's hand in marriage?"

Henry laughed under his breath and shook his head, he believed every word this man said to him, "yes you have my permission," the way the man's face lit up at his answer made him smile all the more, "she would never forgive me if I said 'no' anyway."

...

Snow walked quietly up behind Ruth and Regina, Ruth was running her fingers through Regina's hair and Regina was seated with her eyes down so she didn't see her coming behind her in the mirror. The dress was beautiful and splayed out to the side of the chair Regina sat on and the details of the lace that caught her eye as she got closer made her smile all the more.

Without a word Ruth caught her eye and smiled at her as she continued to run her fingers gently through dark hair but leaned a little to the side in an offer for her to do it instead. She nodded and smiled as she took Ruth's place behind Regina and when Snow looked into the mirror she found Regina's striking dark eyes already looking at her, "how do you always know when I'm close?"

Regina smiled a little at Snow's light and curious voice as she laughed under her breath and worked with her hair, "I just do," she smiled and Snow glanced back at her through the mirror before focusing back on her hair.

"James is quite anxious to see you."

Regina laughed quietly but didn't shake her head for Snow had begun to pull up her hair in various pieces and curls, "well he is just going to have to wait a little longer."

"I absolutely love your dress, where did you hide it?!"

"Oh, Snow, I'm not about to tell you my best hiding place," she teased and Snow laughed quietly past the hair pins held in her teeth.

They sat in wonderfully comfortable silence as she placed a few more pins in to hold the long dark curls. She loved the attention to detail Regina had taken on her appearance, her freshly manicured nails painted a subtle translucent pink to match the colour of her lips, her eyes were lined with a thin dark line only in to her top lash line and her eyelids were coloured subtly with various shades of cream just to enhance the darkness of her eyes. She slid another pin in to place, "you two are going to be so happy together."

Regina hummed softly through a little smile, "I believe so."

"I hope I find someone with as strong a love for me as James does you and someone I can love at least half as much as you do James," she smiled into the mirror timidly and Regina smiled back.

"I'm sure you will dear," and the shook her head gently and subtly, "I won't marry you off to some prince or lord out there. I don't care how desperate this kingdom may become, I will not make you marry someone you do not love. You take your time and you find the right person, you do not need to worry about anything else. It is your heart and you know what is best for it and I will stand behind you in your choice no matter who it is. Man or woman, royal or commoner. Love is important Snow ."

Snow nodded quickly and kept her eyes on Regina's hair and pointlessly adjusted random strands of hair to try and distract herself from the way her eyes were filling with tears, "thank you," she whispered and tried a small smile but didn't do more than a quick glance in the mirror to look at Regina's face. She had faith that Regina would allow her to marry who she wished but to hear it straight from her in that honest and unwavering voice was an entirely different thing. To know for certain that Regina would not allow her to marry anyone but the person she truly loved filled her chest with warmth and brought tears to her eyes. She was yet again saving her from any pain or despair she may find herself in.

In a gesture she was not all that certain Regina would accept, Snow lowered herself down and hugged her around her shoulders and neck as she kissed her cheek. She was met with a soft loving hum from Regina as she brought a soft and motherly hand to hold the the side of her head as she nestled her face into the woman's neck. The fact that Regina not only accepted the gesture but held her in place and rested her head against her own made her laugh quietly as a few tears made it past her closed eyes.

Regina hummed a small laugh and watched Snow in the mirror. She could have cried herself at the way Snow's love for her made her feel and the way she was still able to return it so easily and burden free. "I am looking forward to seeing who you chose," she smiled and then turned her head to kiss the girl's temple when she adjusted her head to rest her chin on her bare shoulder, "there is no rush."


	32. Chapter 32

**I am so sorry for the huge gap between updates! I don't know what has gotten in to me. Hopefully the next one won't be so far away! :) enjoy!**

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"Look at you," she cocked her head and then started to shake it quickly, "I told myself I wasn't going to cry! I already cried and I didn't want to cry again!"

James smiled and walked up to her with his head ducked a little as she bowed her head and tried to take deep breaths to stop her tears, "awe," he shook his head and pulled her in to him, "come here," he whispered and tucked her head under his, "I'm not going anywhere."

"I know," she sniffed back her tears and laughed quietly as she held him tight and closed her eyes, "I'm just so happy for you and so proud of you. You are such a good man."

"Well I had a good mother," he smiled and kissed the top of her head.

"Now you're making me cry more," she laughed quietly but it shook with quiet cries and she hugged him tighter.

He hummed a soft laugh and rubbed his thumb over her back, "I love you."

"I love you too son," she whispered and held him a while longer before she loosened her grip and stepped back when he let his arms go loose around herself, "let's get you going dear," she smiled and then cocked her head and tucked her chin in as she grinned, "no need to panic your beautiful bride with your absence at the altar."

...

Henry waited anxiously behind the large wooden doors, the voices of mingling people on the other side. He lifted his head at the sound of footsteps and quiet laughter of women. The sound was not one he was accustomed to but it was one he was looking forward to hearing more often. Even with her dear stable boy his daughter hadn't laughed so often. Yes he knew of Regina's love for Daniel, he always knew but he didn't believe she was aware of his knowledge. He never spoke a word of it to Cora and she never knew. Love wasn't something she looked for and therefore she didn't see it in their daughter. It was rather sad truly.

His eye was caught when his daughter and Snow turned the corner hand in hand with wide smiles and soft laughter. What a joy it was for him to see them happy together and to see Regina smiling in this place at all. "My precious child," he smiled and held his arms out in front of him in a gesture toward her, "you have never been more beautiful."

"Thank you daddy," she grinned happily and felt her heart swell with warmth at the way he looked at her with such pride.

"You certain you want to do this?"

Regina smiled and leaned forward just a little, "I've wanted this for a very long time. I just didn't know it until he asked me. I love him daddy, he makes me so happy and he knows how to fix me when I fall and break. So yes I am certain that I want to marry the man that makes me better."

Henry could only smile at her and shake his head slowly, "very well," he pivoted so he was at her side and offered her his arm, "let's get you married."

Regina turned her head to look at Snow and the girl gave her hand a final squeeze before letting her go in to the care of her father. "He is in there right?" Regina glanced at the door with a nervous laugh as she hooked her arm through her father's.

Snow laughed quietly and moved to the door and silently opened it just a crack for her to peak through, "yes," she turned back to face the father and daughter, "he's waiting for you," she grinned and at Regina's nod she began pulling open the door she had cracked and the other opened with what she could only assume to be Regina's magic.

When the doors opened his head snapped toward them and he was only barely aware of the guests running silent. She was a long way down that aisle but her beauty stole his breath all the same. He pivoted slightly so the he was facing her and his smile grew wider with every step she took. He paid no mind to the music playing, only the way she was looking at him. Dark eyes fixed on him with such excitement and love to match her smile that she tried to keep from growing too wide. He watched her fingers nervously play with the dark navy blue fabric of her father's sleeve and it made him smile all the more. He had gotten to know her well and while her wide smile portrayed otherwise he could see she was still nervous but it only made his chest fill with warmth.

And the dress. It was absolutely stunning. It hugged her slim figure wonderfully and the back of the skirt trailed behind her and the fact that it was strapless made it all the more appealing to him. It was a masterfully crafted dress made just for her, it was shame, he thought, that she would only wear it once. She looked so soft and delicate, her hair, her skin, her dress, and her make up, everything. Everything about her was perfect and made his heart flutter.

He watched with the widest of smiles when Henry and Regina stopped in front of him and shared a few quiet words before Henry held Regina's face gently between his hands and kissed her forehead as she smiled and hung her hands on his arms. With a nod and a smile toward Henry, James took Regina's hand and she positioned herself in front of him, "hello my beautiful girl."

Regina smiled a little wider and cocked her head gently, paying no mind to how everyone's eyes were on her, "hello my shepherd," she only cared about her shepherd's eyes.

...

Why her father and Ruth felt that she and James needed an escort back to their room she didn't know but they were caught up in a conversation and they had long ago stopped paying much attention to herself and James. She leaned a little heavier in to his side and grinned when he laughed softly as she moved in closer, her lips grazing his jaw before she nipped the corner of the bone playfully. She purred a quiet laugh when his hand that had been around her waist moved up and started tracing the contours of her bare shoulder blades as she moved her hand across herself and trailed her fingers up his side. Her fingers travelled higher and to the side of his jaw and turned his head so her playful grin could hover over his own.

"You see this is why the two of you need us to walk you down," Ruth smirked and then turned her head to look over her shoulder to find that they had stopped and were both looking at her with eyes widened with the look of innocence that had her chuckling to herself.

Regina smiled knowing full well that Ruth could see the smirk hidden beneath, "what ever do you mean?"

"Oh don't give me that," she laughed and shook her finger at them but Regina only hung off of James' arm and leaned her head on his shoulder. She glanced Henry's way as they continued walking and found him to be looking at her with slight confusion, "you can't even make it halfway down one wing of the castle without tearing each others clothes of with your teeth and-"

"Mother!" He snapped with a self conscious laugh and a nervous glance to Henry who seemed to have put all the pieces together now and was laughing quietly under his breath as he shook his head without looking back at them.

"Oh don't 'mother' me," she chuckled and waved her hand in his direction, "if it weren't for our presence the two of you would be shut in the first drawing room you could find."

...

Regina continued to pull the pins from her hair with a wide smile when she heard the door fall shut. When the last pin was removed her long hair fell over her shoulder in loose dark curls that were further pushed aside by James' fingers so he could softly kiss her neck. A quiet laugh made it from her smile and she leaned backward in to him as she moved her hands over his thighs and tilted her head to expose more of her neck for him to enjoy.

He let his hands wander over her waist and breasts before moving to the back of her dress to undo all the tiny rounded buttons. He breathed out a soft and quiet laugh against her jaw, "do you know how long I've been wanting to call you my wife?"

Regina hummed through her smile and turned around as her gown slid from her body, "a long time?"

A moan of approval was heard deep in his throat beyond his control at the sight before him. A white corset laced impossibly tight around her already slim figure had his heart beating madly in his chest and his hands moving over accentuated curves, "since the day I met you," he whispered through his lust thickened voice and moved his hands up slowly to tangle in her hair and hold her head, "and now I can," he grinned and she laughed quietly through her teeth as she pushed her hips further in to him.

He pulled her in to a kiss and her chest filled with warmth just as it always did when he kissed her. She hoped it would never fade. Her fingers began working on opening the larger silver buttons holding his grey coat closed and then pushed the fabric from his shoulders and went straight for the hem of his white linen shirt when the coat was discarded. They both laughed softly in to each other through the kiss at her urgency but he did not protest and quickly pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side.

She moved her hands over his muscled stomach and chest as she kissed him and once her shoes were kicked off he lead her backwards toward the bed. With a playful laugh she turned them and pushed him down on the bed on his back, crawling on top of him and holding his face between her hands as she straddled his lap and he propped himself up on his elbows to meet her halfway in her kiss. A smirk pulled at her mouth through her kiss when she felt his length grow hard beneath her against his pants, a smirk that grew in to a quiet chuckle when she broke off the kiss and ground down hard against him causing him to moan against her hovering mouth.

She nipped at his bottom lip and moved her attention to his jaw and pushed him slowly back on his back, following him down as he went. He was enjoying how she took her time loving his body, soft fingertips moving over hard muscle, soft fingertips that were followed by light kisses and grazing teeth. As much as he loved the corset she was wearing he wanted to feel her and his hands moved over her bare thighs to find the ribbon holding the garment closed but he got distracted and let his fingers play over the dampening lace covering her warm center, enjoying immensely how she dropped heavier in to the contact with a soft moan as she continued to kiss his chest. His fingers soon found what they were looking for and he pulled the ribbon untied and began blindly unlacing it while she continued to get his heart rate up.

With the corset unlaced he tossed it carelessly away and kept one hand around her rib cage to revel in the feel of her muscles moving to take a much needed deep breath of air. He watched her breasts move at the touch of his hands and the hungry expression on her face as she brought her head back up to his so she could kiss him. She pushed his head back in to the bed with the force of her kiss and it resulted in a low moan from him as he kissed her back just as hard and moved his right hand down between her legs and kept his left hand playing with her breasts.

He rubbed her over the wet white lace of her panties and found that his breath was growing thick and heavy as a result of hers doing the same in the short breaks between long kisses and her moans and quiet whimpers that were muffled by his mouth on hers. He pushed her close and closer to her climax, excitedly waiting for her to go over because it was one of his favorite things to hear, see, and feel.

She started to push heavier down in to his circling fingers and rocking her hips a little to increase the amount of movement and not long after, she had broken the kiss only to remain hovering over his mouth with hot and heavy breaths through parted lips. He lifted his head off the bed to kiss her jaw and neck while his thumb moved over a hardened nipple and she began to moan louder at his fingers moving over her panties.

A smile played on his lips as he dragged them over her neck when her fingers curled and gripped the blankets on either side of him and she pushed her head back while she came. Choked screams and moans left her mouth and vibrated in her throat against his lips and tongue when he kissed her neck. Her chest expanded with heavy breaths which in turn pushed her breast harder in to his hand and he slowed his fingers to a halt and pulled them away as she came back down. He loved every moment.

She dropped her head down so her forehead rested against his neck and shoulder as she caught her breath. Without lifting her head she moved her hands down to hook her fingers in the waist of his pants and began to pull them down as he sat up again. She sat up with him, still straddling his waist but not sitting on him so as to allow him room to lift himself off the bed enough to kick off his remaining clothing as she hovered her open mouth over his.

It was he who gave in first and caught her lips in a firm and searing kiss that had her melting in to him with a soft moan so her breasts and stomach were pressed against him and her hands held his face. With some maneuvering he ridded her of her panties and she straddled his lap once again, rocking her hips slowly so her wet heat moved up and down his length, an act that was teasing them both and causing their breaths to grow thick and heavy between long kisses.

She reached down between them and took him in her hand and began pleasuring him, kissing and nipping at his lips as his kiss grew clumsy. When his hands took her hips and pulled her closer she rose higher and allowed him to help guide himself in to her, long slow moans leaving both of them as she lowered herself slowly and took him all.

She had never used this position before. Him sitting on the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor and her straddling his lap as she began to move up and down. It was close and very intimate, no one was playing the dominant role, no one was on top and no one underneath. She found herself feeling rather vulnerable but she allowed herself to trust him and stay put, allowed him to secure yet another insecurity she found to be odd. And this tender loving man was her husband. She had already devoted her life to trying to show him how much she was grateful for him and how much she loved him.

She kept her movement steady and even, slowly bringing them higher and higher. He felt so good inside her and his large hands guiding her hips were warm and strong as his fingers dug in a little more with each passing second. Her chest was pressed against his and her hands laid around the nape of his neck while she rested her forehead against his, their noses touching as they breathed the same hot breath. Regina tilted her chin up to find his mouth with hers and she found her movements on him to grow a little faster and irregular because of it.

He knew exactly how to kiss her to make her lose control over herself and she _loved_ it. She broke the kiss once more with a moan and a pleasured whimper and began to move harder and a little faster so her moans were louder and more frequent, her pleasure only increasing when she heard James' as well. His mouth moved down her neck and she could feel his heavy breath between clumsy kisses and the firm bite on her collar bone had her gasping and moaning in encouragement.

"Mmmm yeah," she whimpered, almost whined under her short breaths through parted lips as pleasure vibrated through her body, pushing her closer and closer to the edge along with him. Her fingertips started to dig in to his neck to keep herself from going over and she pulled herself closer to him so their fronts were pressed together as close as they could be but still allow for her movement. Their heads were resting against the other's, open lips often brushing but never closing around each other. Instead they allowed for moans and near screams to pass through uninterrupted.

Her breath ran even shallower when he pushed his forehead harder against hers with a louder moan and when she felt him spill inside her and convulse gently with his orgasm she was pushed over as a response. She pushed herself even closer to him as she continued to move and cry out in intense pleasure, her fingers digging further in to his neck as she arched her back in to him. Warmth exploded inside her and her cries that were beginning to raise in volume were suddenly muffled with his mouth against hers.

She began to slow her pace and bring herself to a halt as she continued to whimper quietly in enjoyment and pulled his head in harder against her own, deepening the kiss boldly. Her tongue moved with his, muffling moans of pleasure as she wrapped her arms around his head to give him no escape. She loved it when he kissed her like that. Hard and strong, taking her as his own but still making it known how much he loved her and treasured her.

Her fingers pulled at his hair and her body pressed hard against his own, every adjustment to their positions resulting in a quiet moan from both of them because he remained inside her. He removed himself from her when he stood up and held her tight against him as her legs wrapped around his waist, their kiss never breaking. He turned around and lowered them back down on the bed and crawled on top of her, a position he knew she was more comfortable in mentally. He could feel the vulnerability leave her immediately and he smiled a little through their kiss at the fact that she felt safe when she was overtaken by him.

From shepherd to stand in prince to legitimate king married to the queen he loved so dearly that was once so miserable she morphed into darkness itself. She gave him everything and he saved her and consequently the people that had feared her wrath. Amazing what love was capable of.


	33. Chapter 33

**I've been totally MIA with this story! I'm so sorry! I got really stuck and then I just did not want to write after UAP was over so I posted the new story instead because it was already written. Anyway I am unstuck now thanks to a good friend and am ready to unleash hell on this story! :) however I will wait until the next chapter to do so so that you at least have some warning ;) enjoy the fluff! It's all your getting for a while!**

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The night was silent, the stars and especially large and bright full moon lending a wonderfully lit view of the forest floor. A good thing too for the howl of a wolf was heard paired with the ever approaching sounds of thundering hoofbeats and laughter. The large charcoal grey wolf bounded by first followed closely by a powerful black stallion with a strong brunette upon his back and a second stallion, a dark bay with a raven haired woman atop him, galloped less than a stride behind.

Regina stood in her stirrups to allow Isadoro the use of his back in case he were to suddenly need to maneuver around or over an obstacle seen at the last moment. Her hands steadied his large head and neck so he would not fall if he were to stumble and she laughed in to the night air, adrenaline coursing through her blood as the three of them raced under the bright moon.

The reason for their journey was to accompany Red on her journey back home to reconcile with her Granny and just over halfway in to their journey playful banter between the three of them had them racing as fast as they could through the night. Out of the corner of her eye Regina caught glimpse of Snow gaining on her but with a click of her tongue Isadoro opened his stride further and tossed his head happily as his hooves dug in to the forest floor and Snow was left laughing a couple strides behind.

Rich laughter purred in her throat and echoed through the forest when Red fell in stride beside her, bright amber eyes playfully reflecting the moonlight. With a harmless and teasing growl Red edged closer to Isadoro but he showed no worry and stayed straight on his path. Until of course he moved to the side of his own volition, picking right when left would have been just as easy to avoid the tree, consequently cutting Red off. The sound of a yelp reached Regina and Snow's ears and they both laughed freely as they looked over their shoulder to see Red's wolf form stumbling and shaking her head to regain her balance after running sidelong in to a tree that Isadoro had rather purposely forced her in to.

The wolf was running after them moments later but the queen and the princess only continued to laugh through tired breath as their stallions tore up the forest floor with their hooves.

...

Granny was awoken by the sound of thundering hoofbeats and it was not long before she was at the front door with her crossbow in hand. She was thrown off by the sound of women's laughter but she never lowered her weapon.

"Your horse is a bastard Regina," she huffed through a laugh as she rubbed her hand up and down her side, cringing at the bruises starting to form on her side from the tree.

Regina and Snow only laughed as they dismounted their snorting and heavily breathing stallions, "he's bred for battle," Regina smirked as she walked toward her and Red rolled her eyes and all three of them laughed, "I'm not the one who taunted him."

"Shut up," Red laughed, her hand still on her ribs as she tried to catch her breath. She removed her hand when Regina gently pushed it away only to put her own on the injury. Quite suddenly it was much easier to breath and the sharp pain was gone, "thank you," she laughed through a deep breath and shook her head.

"You're welcome," Regina quipped and laughed through her closed lips, rocking her head on her shoulders, "besides it's the least I could do. As I said before; I never lose a race."

"This one doesn't count," Red protested with a laugh.

"Well perhaps next time you should watch where you're going," Regina smirked and Red put her hands on her hips and scoffed in good humor.

Snow shrugged and lifted her arms at her sides before letting them fall, "I tried to warn you."

Red pivoted to face Snow, "whose side are you on?!"

With a playful smile Snow slunk up next to Regina, standing just a little behind her for protection as she slipped her arms around her waist, laughing softly as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as Regina chuckled at the action. "I don't understand the question," she purred playfully and Red threw her arms up in the air as she laughed and Regina laughed along. Snow didn't miss the way Regina subtly leaned in to her.

"What is going on out here?" Granny recognized Snow and of course she recognized her granddaughter but the third woman she did not recognize. She had her suspicions as to who she may be however and she was not particularly excited to find out if she was correct.

All wariness was put to the side when Red ran to her and hugged her tight.

"I'm sorry Granny," she whispered against her neck and old familiar hands rubbed her back soothingly, "I was just angry."

"I know," she nodded and kissed the side of her head, "it's quite alright. Besides," she gently coaxed her to let go and looked up at her with a smile, "every girl needs a good adventure and I'd say you've found a mighty good one."

...

"So...you remember when I covered for you so you could go see 'your friend' who turned out to be your secret lover."

Regina smiled and laughed softly, "I do. Only he wasn't my lover just yet."

Snow laughed under her breath and Red shook her head as Granny listened intently, "you loved him at the time you just hadn't done anything about it yet."

"Fair enough," Regina smiled and nodded and plucked another grape from the plate Granny had placed on the table, "are you cashing in that favor?"

"...perhaps..."

"Snow here found a secret 'friend' too."

"Red!" She hissed, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment as she completely avoided Regina's eyes.

"She found him on your wedding day and has been keeping him secret for all those months," Red grinned and pointed at Regina as she sat on the corner of the table only to be swatted off by her Granny's hand.

"Is that so?" Regina smiled at Snow and it grew all the more amused the longer she avoided eye contact and played with the mug in her hands. She cocked her head gently and nudged the girl's leg under the table with her foot.

Snow hated how her lips pulled in to a smile despite her every command for them not to. She rubbed her hands over her face and heard Red's quiet chuckle at calling her out before she dropped her hands back on the table and looked up at Regina. The way she was looking at her put her at ease, dark eyes sparkling with amusement but her head cocked and her mouth curled in such a smile that showed acceptance and pride with curiosity but no demand as to whom it was. It was a very nice look and one she found herself memorizing, "I don't know yet."

The corner of Regina's smile curled a little higher and she hummed a soft laugh as she brought a grape to her lips, "that's alright. When were you looking to find out?"

Snow couldn't wipe the smile off her face despite how much she wanted the childish grin gone, "in three days time," she half whispered as a suggestion and Regina paused her chewing as she mulled it over, "I know it's inconvenient seeing as how you are leaving to meet with George and James still hasn't quite gathered how to work everything in his position as king but-"

"It's fine," Regina cut her of with a shake of her head and a smile, "James can handle it and if he needs anything I'm sure Claude will help him. Even Ruth has caught on how things work up there."

"Really?" Snow asked hopefully, the excited grin still firmly set in place.

"Of course dear."  
Snow straightened her posture happily and rocked her head on her shoulders with he widest smile, "thank you."

Regina laughed softly and shook her head in amusement, "you're quite welcome."

"Do we get to know who it is now?" Red pouted and sat herself back on the corner of the table once more only to be again swatted away by Granny's hand.

Snow laughed and shook her head, "nope."

Granny kept tired but alert eyes on the queen, not quite sure what to make of her. She didn't seem evil by any means and Snow and Red were quite happy and comfortable around the woman. Of course there had been news spread around the kingdom of the queen's change in heart but to hear it and see it were two entirely different things. "Why are you here? I mean don't get me wrong I suppose I should be honored to have royalty in my home but why are you here and why in the dead of night?"

Red shot the older woman a look of disapproval of her tone but Regina simply smiled and shrugged, refreshed by her straightforwardness, "your granddaughter is a werewolf. I couldn't very well let her go alone out in to the woods on a full moon with the hunters about. As for the time of night that is not my fault but I will apologize for your granddaughter and her headstrong attitude," she smiled at the older woman and amusedly shot her eyes toward Red for a moment when the girl shot her a mock scowl.

"I find it hard to believe that a queen, a supposedly former evil one at that, would take such care in ensuring her safety."

"Granny," she scolded lightly but her grandmother didn't pull her eyes away from Regina.

"Red didn't believe much when I met her either. Your opinions of me are your own and I am not going to force you to believe otherwise. Perhaps I just wanted to go for a ride in he middle of the night with my daughter and a wolf," she offered with a light and playful smirk, "and run her in to a tree," she laughed out quietly and covered her mouth with her fingertips earning her a glare from Red who was trying not laugh while Snow started to laugh and it grew louder with every second.

...

"Are you sure?" He grinned, his voice quiet and soft.

"Mhm," she smiled and rubbed his fingers with her own as he held his hands over her stomach. She absolutely adored the look on his face. It was like he had received the most precious and desired of gifts and in a way that was true. A tender laugh vibrated in her throat and she gently arched her back off the bed to aid him in pulling up her short ivory silk night gown so the soft fabric gathered under her breasts.

She pushed her head further in to the bed with a loving hum as he traced the waistline of her white lace panties and laid a soft kiss on her stomach before trailing his fingers to draw invisible patterns over her stomach. He laid another kiss on her stomach with a smile, "are you sure?"

"Yes dear," she laughed and lifted her hand to trace his hairline, "she's growing in there."

"She?" He laughed and shook his head, "no I'm pretty sure there's a little boy growing in there."

"You think so hmmm?" She smirked and lifted and eyebrow.

"Oh I know so," he chuckled and moved himself higher and kissed her laughing mouth. It was a slow and playful kiss that kept the smiles on both of their mouths. With a grin he kissed her harder and she reacted in the way he absolutely loved. She moaned in to his mouth through an uneven breath caught in her throat as she sunk in to the bed and brought him with her with hands holding his head to keep him from pulling away.

He pulled away despite her protests and laughed quietly and he moved down and laid the side of his head on her stomach. She laughed happily as he slipped his arms around behind her and hugged her middle, "I'm pretty sure I can hear a heartbeat in there," he laughed quietly.

"I'm pretty sure you can't," she shook her head and laughed as she brought a hand up to run her fingers through his short hair. Bright blue eyes smiled back up at her and she nuzzled her head deeper in to the pillow with a loving hum. She had always wanted children. She wanted to be the mother she herself never had and she didn't want them to have to wait to perhaps meet a Ruth of their own to love them for who they were. She truly did not care if she was carrying a boy or a girl for she would love them all the same and she would love them more than she already did.

"Maybe not," he breathed out a happy laugh and hugged her tighter around her middle and kissed her bare stomach, thoroughly enjoying the feel of her fingers in his hair, "no more midnight rides with werewolves."

"You can't tell me what to do," she protested halfheartedly with a wide smile.

James laughed quietly and laid another kiss on her stomach before resting his head back down on her, "sure I can. Doesn't mean you'll listen though," he smirked and she laughed causing his head to bounce gently, "I just won't be all that impressed with you," he chuckled and shook his head as she laughed a little louder.

"We are going to have a baby," he grinned and laughed happily, "I'm so excited!"

Regina laughed as he lifted his head and placed his hands on her sides so his thumbs moved over her stomach as he studied her with the widest of smiles and the brightest of eyes. She was overjoyed by the fact that she was carrying his child. She had always wanted children and she loved James more than she thought possible so the combination simply had her bursting with joy, "I'm happy."

James lifted his gaze from her stomach to her sparkling dark eyes, "good. I'm happy too. What will we name him?"

"Her," she corrected just to tease him and it earned her a joyous chuckle, "it will have to be a good name."

"I'm so excited," he whispered and laughed through his grin as he lowered his eyes back to her bare stomach just waiting for it to grow. He lifted one hand from her side and began drawing incoherent patterns with his fingers over taut skin as he chuckled quietly with the widest of smiles, "I can't wait to meet you."


	34. Chapter 34

**All of your reviews about being excited for an EC baby...I'm sorry. As for the Snow pairing, I totally ship these two and was quite disappointed when I found no fics with them. The story will remain EC though so rest assures :) I just wanted Snow to have someone too. Enjoy! And the sadness is coming! ;)**

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"Do you know who Snow has her eyes on?" She asked curiously as they hurried down the hall at a fast walk.

"Ummm...no."

"Liar."

He chuckled at the smirk clear in her tone, "if I did know who she was questioning giving her heart to I would advise you not to turn around and venture toward the library because if you did so you would be even more late for your council with George and would have to try and figure out a way to magic yourself all the way to his castle instead of just to the designated point outside his kingdom and gallop the rest of the way."

He laughed loudly when she spun on her heels without a word and started walking in the direction they had come, "forget something love?" He turned and walked backwards with an amused grin.

Regina laughed and turned her head to look over her shoulder, "I seem to remember I left a book in the library that I just need to retrieve."

"And George? You know I don't like it when you make him angry," he scolded playfully as they continued to lengthen the distance between them.

"I'll sort it out so I will never again be late," she called with a laugh and turned the corner with a wave.

...

Snow jumped at the feel of large arms wrapping around her middle and a chin resting on her shoulder as a body came up behind her. She snapped her head around only to recognize him and breath out a tense laugh, "what are you doing here?"

"I was impatient," he smiled and she leaned backward against him, "and you told me your mother wasn't going to be here today."

"I told you that because I wasn't sure I was going to be able to meet you today not so that you could sneak in and try and find me. What if you got lost? Or ran in to someone?"

"I had an excuse already planned, malleable to whomever I may have come across. As for getting lost I asked the king himself where you were and he gave me directions."

Snow rolled her eyes, "you did not!"

"I did," he laughed and she groaned and hid her face with her hands as she shook her head, "he was the one that asked me if I was looking for you my dear."

Snow huffed in to her hands and then turned around in his arms and placed her hands on his chest because she didn't know where else to put them. He smiled down at her and she smiled up at him and she played close attention to the way her heart fluttered in her chest.

"Why are we keeping this a secret? I mean I know why but why? Surely your mother would not protest?"

Snow smiled a little wider and shook her head, "no she wouldn't. I just don't want to tell anyone and then have it not be...anything at all," she finished quietly and watched her fingers trace the decorative stitching on the grey coat clothing his torso.

With silent fingers Regina pulled a book from a shelf and leaned her back against it as she opened the pages. She could see the pair clearly and she watched with the widest of smiles and kept herself half hidden but really she could be standing in the middle of the aisle and neither of them would see her for they were so enveloped in the other.

She waited patiently and when the knight took her daughter's jaw in his hands and pulled her in to a soft kiss Regina smirked and lifted her chin as she rocked her head on her shoulders and began skimming through the pages of the open book in her hand. The gentleness and attentiveness of their kiss could only mean it was their first. At the sound of quiet laughter Regina's only moved her eyes to look across the aisle in the extensive library to see the pair smiling at one another with such tenderness and joy it made her own heart feel light in her chest.

Pushing herself off the shelf to stand up straight she slammed the book shut and grinned through closed lips when the pair of them jumped at the sound and spun to see where it had come from. Regina purred an amused laugh and slid the book back in its place on the shelf, "Sir Lancelot."

"Your Majesty," he nodded politely with a smile, unable to determine what exactly her response to this knowledge was.

Regina flashed her eyes to Snow's and found only happiness and a quiet desire for her approval. She hummed a laugh and shook her head, "I am running very late so I must be going but I couldn't leave without knowing who it was who stole my daughter's heart," she smirked at the way Snow bowed her head to hide the flush to her cheeks and the way Lancelot wrapped his arms around her middle. With a nod and a smile Regina turned on her heels and waved over her shoulder as she walked away, "feel free to roam the grounds as you wish! You are welcome here."

...

"You're late."

"Yes, well, family matters. I'm sure you understand despite not having dealt with them for so long," she bit back with an innocent tone and a smirk to counteract the innocence.

He only gave a disapproving glare in return as he poured them each a glass of wine. He did not need to start an argument, he needed her to stay calm. Calm and unguarded. With each glass filled halfway he lifted them and handed one to the queen who thought nothing of it and if she were to drink from it he would not tell her right away. No he would keep it to himself and enjoy the months go by with the woman and shepherd being unable to produce an heir.

"I would like to congratulate you on the growing success of your reign."

"Thank you," she replied curiously and then looked down in the cup to see what was inside.

He wasn't entirely sure if she would catch the presence of the spell on the wine but as she lifted the rim to her lips he had to force down his grin. She only took a sip but that was all she needed, "it will make it all the more satisfying when I take it for myself."

Regina laughed and placed the cup on the large table, "you are going to have to get my temper absolutely raging before I attack your kingdom George and we both know you have no chance at victory if you do not have the home field advantage. My walls cannot be breached and you know that."

George chuckled in response. Yes her castle was incredibly fortified with both structure and magic and not to mention her incredibly loyal selection of guards but he would get her temper raging with one skillfully placed slip of tongue when he was prepared.

...

Regina woke up with a start and opened her mouth in a silent scream at the pain tearing through her abdomen despite her hand pushing against it in an attempt to stop it. She curled around her hand, bringing her knees up and bending over as she reached forward with her other hand to wake James who was sleeping on his side facing her, "James," she clenched her teeth and her fingers clawed at her stomach as she pulled her fingers in to a fist as another wave of pain hit her hard.

"Regina?" He whispered groggily.

"James something's wrong," a strained quiet scream left her mouth and her hands started shaking.

At the sound of her pain his eyes snapped open and he pushed himself upright and moved his hands over her curled figure, "what is it?" She was crying now and it had him more than worried, "Regina? Regina wha-" he was cut short when her hand shot out from beneath the blankets and gripped his arm. Even in the moonlight shining through the window he could tell that the warm liquid on her hand was blood. It did not take the candles and torches lit by her magic to know that. His heart instantly dropped and he felt sick. His eyes shot to Regina's but hers were closed as she cried in to her pillow.

He came to the understanding that she knew now exactly what had happened and he shook his head in quick movements as his tears fell. "No, Regina," he cried but he did not blame her he wanted her to tell him he was wrong and that it was something else that had bloodied their bed. When nothing but the cries of a great loss reached his ears he pulled her up and held her against him.

She shook harshly in his arms and her hands, one bloodied and one clean, vibrated as they laid in limp fists upon his chest. He pushed his face in to the side of her head, his tears wetting her dark hair as hers soaked his loose white cotton shirt, "it's okay Regina."

"It's not okay," she sobbed hopelessly and his arms wound tighter around her.

"We'll be okay," he shook his head against her and curled around her as he cried silently, his body shaking every so often with a particularly hard cry. Only three days. They only knew for three days. They had been so excited.


	35. Chapter 35

**Hmmmm sadness...yay ;) I love angst, not even gonna lie! I am super excited to write her rage though ;) enjoy! I'm looking forward to the reviews :)**

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Neither of them had fallen back asleep, neither of them had left for breakfast, neither had left for lunch, Regina had cleaned the blood from her skin and dressed herself in an elegant black gown with a straight neckline from shoulder to shoulder and long sleeves. She did not bother herself with make up or hair pins and she now sat in the window with her legs curled up beside her having not spoken a word since she had woken up that night.

He didn't want to bring up the bloodied sheets and blankets and when he emerged from cleaning himself up he found the bed stripped clean and he could only assume she had used her magic to rid of the bloodied fabric. Whether she had simply sent it them to be washed or burned them on the spot he couldn't say. He hadn't said a word either.

She hadn't looked at him, not in the eye anyway. That was fine. He couldn't quite bring himself to look at hers either. He couldn't see the grief and despair in those dark eyes that were so full of joy and excitement not twenty four hours before. So he sat on the floor with his head rested on her calf over the black velvet of her gown and one hand in his lap with the other holding her bent knee so he could watch his thumb move slowly back and forth.

He didn't know what to think and he imagined she didn't ether. It was a difficult thing to grasp that the child they were so excited for was no longer there. It was silent. Not even the sound of chirping birds or the soft whisper of a breeze through the trees. The sun came through the window to warm their cold bodies and that was all.

"I love you Regina," he whispered and turned his head so his forehead and the bridge of his nose pushed against her calf as he closed his eyes. She didn't say a word and it caused his tears to fall. A short moment later a soft hand ran through his hair and held the side of his face and his breath ran shaky once again while she remained silent and still save for her thumb moving slowly back and forth over his cheekbone.

...

"Child where is your mother?" Ruth questioned Snow when she came across her in the hall.

Snow shook her head, "I have no idea, I was about to ask you the same thing."

"What about my son?"

Again she shook her head, "no. Does it not seem quiet to you?"

Ruth nodded and furrowed her brow, "it does...I am going to run down and see if they are still in their room and if everything is alright. It's nearly dinner, they have never stayed this long in bed..."

"I'll go see if Henry knows where they are," Snow offered and Ruth smiled and nodded in agreement before they turned and went their separate ways.

...

"Regina," he whispered, his voice not having much use this day, "will you talk to me?" He gave a few seconds for her to answer but she didn't. She remained silent and he lifted his head so he could see if she was looking at him. She wasn't. Her gaze was fixed on likely nothing at all out the window, "will you look at me?" He asked quietly and coaxed her to do so silently with his hand on her knee and his thumb moving over it.

Nothing.

He rested his chin on her calf so his eyes could remain focused on her face in case she were to look at him. Not even when there was a knock on the door did she move, not even a blink. He didn't say anything either. If it was important or if it was family then they would walk in.

Being met with silence Ruth grew more than concerned and she slowly pushed open the large wooden door. She looked to the bed first but was only confused when she found it empty and stripped of any blankets. She didn't know why but of all the places in the large room she chose one of the windows to look at next and she found the pair of them sitting and at first she smiled and started walking toward them, "there you two are. What have you been doing all day?"

She made it maybe three steps before her smile disappeared for she was hit with the sorrowful atmosphere around the couple. Regina didn't move at all in her presence and James barely lifted his head to look her way, "what is going on?" She asked nervously as her gaze flipped between the two of them and she noticed the tears starting to well up in Regina's eyes.

James felt Regina start to shake before he saw the movement and when he looked up at her to see if she was willing to give an explanation he found her starting to shake her head in quick small movements as she kept her steady gaze out the window. He squeezed her knee for support and comfort but she only pushed her eyes shut and covered her mouth after a sudden harsh sob. He looked up at his mother with tears in his own eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat as she hurried closer with confusion and worry.

When she had lowered herself to sit on the windowsill with Regina and moved her hands forward to fuss over her James found his voice however quietly, "Regina was pregnant."

Ruth shot her eyes to her son for confirmation as to why Regina was suddenly crying so miserably and she didn't like the silent assurance his sad gaze gave her. She snapped her attention back to Regina whose eyes were open now but were fixated back outside. Ruth knew Regina well and she knew her probably better than the girl believed and in avoided looking at either her or James Ruth knew she didn't want to look at them and find the way they looked at her had changed. Of course they would not look at her any different but she did not trust the world and how it seemingly worked against her so she was scared to check and Ruth couldn't blame her for that.

And then her son. He had always wanted children and she knew that, of course she knew that and now here the both of them sat with the shattered hope and excitement for the child they almost had. Ruth moved to touch Regina but she held a shaking hand up for her to stop as she shook her turned head through her cries, a plea for her to refrain from trying to comfort her. It was something Ruth could understand so she nodded and left a few tears to fall down her face and whispered, "alright dear."

She lowered herself to the floor instead and wrapped her arms around her son knowing full well that he did not like to be alone in his grief. He broke down as she knew he would and he pulled her close and tight with big strong arms and turned his head in to her neck as he cried quietly, "it'll be alright," she whispered and kissed the side of his head before dropping her chin on his shoulder and holding the fingers of one hand in his hair while the other arm wrapped around his shoulder. "You can try again," she offered through her tears, "you two will have a child soon enough."

...

Henry walked up to his mourning daughter who had been left alone in her room for the last hours of the day. She had not eaten, drank, nor spoken a word all day. Ruth had taken her son from the room but Regina had stayed as per her own silent request. He stood beside her now but she did not acknowledge his presence, "come here child," he spoke gently and offered her his hand just as he had always done in the past when she was less than well.

Regina didn't take his hand but instead shook her head and spoke for the first time that day in a quiet and small voice, "I don't feel like dancing, Daddy."

Henry nodded but kept his hand forward and when she still didn't take it he reached forward further. However when his hand found hers she did something she had never done. She ripped her hand away. He frowned at her and she closed her eyes and lifted her chin a little higher as she held her breath clearly showing her regret for the harshness of her actions.

He did not falter though and he remained standing at her side in the fading light and kept his voice gentle and loving, "I have not been strong for you my child. I have always been there for you to turn to but I have not ever been strong for you. I have not stood up for you, I have not fought for what was best for you, I allowed your mother's magic to control the both of us and I did not stop her from hurting you and throwing you in to a life I knew would bring you nothing but misery. My biggest regret is that I was never the father you needed."

Regina shook her head and kept her eyes closed, her voice thick and strained with sorrow, "you were the only one that was ever there for me."

"But not in the way I should have been," he argued quietly and shook his head. Her tears started to fall through closed eyes, the salty liquid shining a delicate pink in the light of the setting sun, "give me another chance to be the father you need. Please allow me to be the father you deserve. I am wiser than some may think but this instance does not require much of that. You need to move my darling, and you need to have a proper meal but let's just do one thing at a time," he finished quietly and offered her his hand once again.

Regina remained sitting for a few moments longer before she turned her head and looked him in the eye, the first eyes she had seen that day. They looked back at her with nothing but love and kindness and a new strength that was steadfast and gave her something to hold on to. With a quiet sniff and a few blinks to rid herself of any more tears she gently took her father's hand as she had done when she was younger and she let him help her to her feet. She ignored the way her knees protested the movement having been still in the same position all day long and paid no mind to the slight chill of the stone floor against her bare feet as she rested her head on his shoulder and looked at their intertwined fingers and held her other hand on his other shoulder as his found her lower back.

He smiled a small smile when he felt her lean in to him with a quiet sigh as he began to sway them. Neither of them said anything for a long while, they just swayed softly to music that wasn't there and kept their thoughts to themselves. It had been a long time since he had danced with her like this. He missed it.

"He was so excited Daddy," she whimpered and didn't even try to stop her tears from falling on to his navy blue coat, "you should have seen the look on his face. I've never seen such joy and excitement."

He didn't say anything and she was grateful because she wasn't done yet, "I was so excited. I was going to do better this time and be a better mother."

"You will have another chance at motherhood," he assured and moved his thumb over the backs of her knuckles.

"I had life growing inside of me, a piece of him and I killed it. Like most things in my life that I have touched I killed it," she cried and turned her head so her forehead pushed against the front of his shoulder, "I am too dark and vile inside. I have ruined myself and I have killed the most innocent form of life."

Henry shook his head and whispered slowly as she cried miserably in to him, "no," he kissed the side of her head and held her shaking body closer as he continued to sway them both, "you and I both know that that is not true. Your heart is good my child, you are not dark nor are you vile. You are kind and loving and you are strong. This was not your fault, you did not kill this child. Have you forgotten the things you have touched that have brought you life and happiness? You have your husband, you have Ruth, you have Snow, you have Red, and you have me. Even that guard turned knight...what was his name?"

"Claude," she breathed out sadly with closed eyes and rested heavier in to him.

"That's right. The entire kingdom has benefitted in some way or another because of your happiness my dear. You will be happy again. You need to let your husband help you."

Regina turned her head so her face was against her fathers neck and she was shortly comforted by the smell of her dearest childhood memories as she cried miserably and wrapped her arms around her father's neck, "I can't."


	36. Chapter 36

**Whoops sorry for the wait you guys! Got distracted with the Calgary Stampede and a bunch of friends ;) so here you are! A super awesome chapter that makes me cry every single time I read it without fail! Enjoy!**

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"Regina please eat something," he begged quietly but she didn't even glance at the food he held out for her. This was the third day now. Two days without eating or truly speaking or looking at anyone. She would drink water but that was all. At least it was something.

Every morning after she got dressed she would go to the window and she would stay there until it was time to retire and go back to bed. He was not managing well but he was managing. He desperately wanted to know what he could do to help her but perhaps this was her chosen method of mourning and coping. He missed her though.

He placed the apple on the small table next to her water and she still did not move. "Please Regina," he whispered and placed his hands over her own that laid in her lap. Her gaze fell to their hands and he felt a little flicker of hope that perhaps now she would look him in the eye. She didn't though. Not even when he ducked his head down a little to try and catch her eye.

So he kissed her cheek instead. A soft lingering kiss on her soft skin before he reluctantly walked away and left her to be alone. He made it out of their room without letting his tears fall but his eyes betrayed him when his mother walked up to him but she wiped away his tears.

"She will come back. Don't worry," she spoke quietly with a smile almost too sad to be titled a smile.

"It's not fair," he whispered and shook his head, "she's lost too much already. This isn't fair."

"I know," she whispered slowly and cocked her head sadly as she held her sons large hands in her own small ones, "but you have found a very strong girl and she just needs to find a way to come back."

"But what if she can't?" He whispered helplessly, worry growing in the pit of his stomach, "what if she's too tired?"

Ruth shook her head and tried a smile, "she's too proud and stubborn for that."

"Your Majesty?"

James lifted his head to look over his mother's shoulder at the man who spoke and he offered him a smile but it was hard to have his mouth cooperate, "I've told you many times to just call me James."

Claude nodded and smiled, "habit. May I have your permission to talk to the queen? I've had experience lifting her back on her feet and by the sounds of things she is not doing much better."

James shook his head sorrowfully and spoke quietly, "no she is not doing much better at all. And you don't have to ask for permission to speak to Regina. You are her friend and she holds you close to her heart."

Claude smiled a small smile and nodded as he walked past James and Ruth and to the large wooden doors that kept the queen from the rest of the world. He opened one only enough for him to slip inside and then closed it behind him. The queen sat in the window, the dark green silk of her gown dropping off the side of the window seat and pooling on the floor and her long dark hair left down to fall over one shoulder. Her knees were lifted and one arm laid over her stomach while the other was bent so her soft fingertips could rest on red lips.

As he stepped closer he could see the faint dark circles beneath her dull and sullen eyes. She hadn't been crying for there was no pinkish hue but he was not convinced that that was a good thing.

He sat beside her without a word, her toes beneath the dark silk touching his thigh as her empty eyes watched him indifferently. He didn't frown nor did he smile, he didn't shake his head or nod, he stared in to those dark brown eyes until he found the pain and heartbreak he knew was there and knew would knock the breath out of him. When this woman felt she felt with every fibre in her body. It was why she could be so angry and so vicious, it was why she could be so gentle and loving, why she could be so happy and kind, and why she could hurt until she felt nothing at all.

When he found it she had tears in her eyes likely because she knew what he was waiting for, what he was waiting to find. When he felt that strong ache in his heart and felt his breath catch in his chest he turned at the waist so he could face her more and lifted a hand to wipe away a fallen tear and then moved his fingers down to the corner of her mouth.

"I remember when these lines showed your sorrow," he spoke gently and moved his fingertips to her forehead and the middle of her brow, "and when these ones showed your anger," he wiped another fallen tear and paid little attention to the way her shoulders had started to quiver. "They are now mere whispers of your despair," he moved his thumb to the outside corner of her eye, "they have been replaced with joy," he smiled a small smile and cocked his head as he wiped away another fallen tear on his way back to her mouth, "and laughter," she closed her eyes and turned her head in to his touch and he held her face, his thumb moving over her cheek whenever a new tear fell.

With a sad smile he let go of her face and moved his hand to rest over her heart, "your heart is strong and it is good and your little family you have found has taught you how to use it and has taught you that it is okay to use it. I admire your heart and the strength it lends you to stand back up after every tragedy. You are a good woman and you are so strong and I am proud to call you my queen."

Her tears fell faster and he could see she was finding it hard to keep herself from voicing her cries. Lastly he moved his hand over her stomach with the kindest of touches and he heard the first of many cries he was sure he was going to hear. He moved his thumb over the muscles that tightened with every quiet cry and spoke softly, "your belly will get round someday Your Majesty and you will teach your child that it is okay to be angry, it is okay to be scared, it is okay to be sad, it is okay to hurt, and that above all it is okay to love. Your child will fall but you will teach them that they have to get back up and you will teach them how. You will teach them that love is powerful and that it does not matter where you come or where you are going to it only matters who you are with."

He smiled a sad smile and cocked his head, his hand still resting over her stomach as she covered her mouth with one hand and cried through closed eyes. "You will get the chance to watch your belly grow," he moved his thumb over her stomach and placed his other on the side of her thigh just above the bend in her knee, "you just have to give it time."

"It's my fault."

Claude shook his head and replied definitively but kindly, "it is not your fault."

"I am broken."

"You are not broken," he assured her gently and she only continued to cry.

"I don't want him to hate me."

Claude shook his head and swallowed down his own tears at her whimper that was followed by harsh sobs as her body vibrated in fear, "he doesn't hate you. James loves you with all his heart. He is hurting too. You need one another Your Majesty. Neither of you can get through this alone."

"I killed our child," she sobbed miserably but Claude didn't move and he didn't change, "he will never look at me the same. I cannot look at him and see the disappointment and regret in his eyes."

He shook his head once again, "you did not kill your baby. This was beyond your control and your husband will never look at you with less love," he shook his head and she bowed her head as she cried, "he does not and will not ever blame you for this. He loves you and you can do no wrong in his eyes. He will look at you just as he always has; like you are his everything and that he cannot live without you."

She only continued to cry helplessly. She was, after all, only human. "You will have a second chance at being a mother. You will have that tiny little body grow inside you and you will feel them kick. I promise you will get that."

Regina shook her head against him as she cried, her heart aching in her chest and every nerve in her body feeling raw and giving her nothing but pain, "you can't say that for certain."

"Have I ever broken a promise to you Your Majesty?"

Another small shake of her head and the quietest and saddest of voices, "no."

"I assure you this one will be no different."

...

Neither of them had been sleeping well at all the past couple nights and with the dark circles growing beneath Regina's eyes he had to wonder if she was getting any sleep at all. She still had not spoken a word to him and he didn't know why. She spoke to her father and she spoke to Claude but she refused to speak to him. He felt guilty. He wanted to comfort her but he didn't know how.

She was in his arms right now and he held her close and tight but it was like she wasn't there at all. It was almost like he was holding the empty shell of the person she was. When she started to move he remained still and relaxed with his eyes closed as if he was asleep. He did not move when she left his hold until the door opened and closed quietly behind her and only then did he open his weary eyes and push himself up in to a sitting position.

He contemplated leaving her to go on her own but his curiosity and concern had him quickly pulling on a warmer coat and a pair of boots and silently following his dear and wounded wife.

...

Regina walked slowly in to the stables with her head hung so her eyes focused on her bare feet padding quietly across the cold cobblestone. At the many friendly nickers of greeting she lifted her head to see all of the horses with their heads looking out of their stalls and their ears perked in her direction. With a simple wave of her hand the torches on the wall between every stall were lit and the stable was glowing with the soft warm orange.

She lifted her right hand and watched her fingers move over the velvety muzzles of each horse, stopping for a moment at Isadoro to pay a little more attention to him. His head hung low and she wrapped her arms tightly around his face and rested the side of her head between his black ears while her body leaned against his large black face.

She stayed like that until she was shaking and her tears were falling at the pain that tore her apart inside. She turned her head so her face was buried in his thick black forelock and she cried, her shoulders shaking and his gentle nicker aimed to comfort. After a few moments longer she let go of his face and he only lifted his head so their eyes were at the same height.

They were strong kind eyes that looked at her without judgement because they couldn't understand the things she had done. They saw her for who she was, nothing more and nothing less, "you're a good boy Isadoro," she whispered and ran a hand down his face before she stepped to the side and opened the stall next to him and walked inside as Rocinante backed up a couple steps to allow her room to move.

The stall was dim but Regina could still see her friend standing in front of her, her chestnut coat flickering with the flames outside her stall door and her dark eyes reflecting the fire but it did not make her look fierce as it could but instead added to the gentle life she held. Her neck was arched and her ears pointed attentively toward her shaking figure and her eyes showing concern for her well being.

A silent deal, a bond, a love that was unlike any Regina had had was strong between them. Rocinante cared for her in Regina's times of need and Regina did the same for her. Like a mare to a foal and a mother to a child. She needed her more than ever.

"Rocinante," she whimpered slowly as the tears streamed down her face and she collapsed to the straw covered floor with her hands shaking in front of her, "make it stop," she cried the words out quietly and her body shook cruelly as loud choking sobs tore her apart. Her dearest friend circled around her so she stood at her side rather than in front of her before dropped to her knees with her ears pointed in the direction of her inhuman wails. She then dropped her hind quarters down as well and laid next to her, their bodies, one big and one small, resting against the other.

With a gentle nicker that had Regina crying simply harder Rocinante curled her neck around her wounded woman and laid her head in her lap. Large soft lips played with shaking fingers in an act of some sort of comfort and Regina only obeyed when her dear mare pulled her in closer with her strong neck.

"Make it go away," she sobbed harshly in to Rocinante's neck, her soft brown fur dampening with the tracks of her tears. Her wise mare nuzzled her muzzle against her empty abdomen and lipped softly at the painfully tight muscles as Regina cried so hard no sound came from her open mouth. After a moment of keeping her muzzle against her stomach Rocinante lowered her head and wrapped Regina in the bend of her neck, laying her head over her lap as Regina turned slightly and took fistfuls of brown mane and continued to cry with unmanageable despair.

...

When the crying finally stopped and was followed by many minutes of silence James pushed himself to his feet and closed his eyes with a quiet sob at the pain that tore apart his heart. With tears in his eyes he walked across the aisle and quietly opened the door to the room that held the horse's blankets and sheets. He pulled a soft navy blue stall sheet out with light brown leather trim and paused to pick up the folded grey wool blanket that caught his eye.

He opened the stall door quietly and what he saw had his tears falling faster as he choked out a quiet miserable sob. Regina laid curled in Rocinante's encircled neck with her head laying between her hands, fingers tangled in brown mane and tears track still visible down her face and Rocinante's neck. Rocinante stayed in place, only a flick of her ear to acknowledge his presence as he walked closer.

He draped the navy blue sheet over Rocinante knowing that she didn't really need it but it was all he could do to show his thanks. He lowered himself next to Regina now with grey wool blanket in hand as he looked in to Rocinante's gentle brown eye that watched him kindly. He placed the blanket over Regina's bare feet and spread it upward over her legs until he met Rocinante's jaw, planning to leave it like that but Rocinante lifted her head just enough for his hands to slide underneath and pull the blanket higher. The gesture had him choking out another quiet sob that shook his shoulders and he pulled the blanket higher and reached over Rocinante's lifted head to pull it over Regina's shoulders.

James shook his head and covered his mouth with his hand as he looked over Regina and then back to Rocinante as she settled her head back down. Another rough cry made it quietly from his mouth as he tipped over and let his legs curl beside him in the straw and moved his arm forward to stroke the kind hearted mare who took care of his darling Regina in her times of great distress, "thank you Rocinante. I can't do this without you."


	37. Chapter 37

**Crap I'm sorry I took so long! I was a little unmotivated and caught up in Catch Me :) the next chapter will jump forward in time but I haven't decided how far yet...probably a year or so.**

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She didn't move for a long time. She felt heavy. Just heavy. So she didn't move and instead kept tired eyes on her hands that remained tangled in Rocinante's mane. At least she was warm for that was something she hadn't been for the past few days. It took a long time for her to realize that along with the body heat from her mare she was being warmed by a grey wool blanket.

She stared at it for an even longer time trying to figure out what it was and if she had brought it herself but she didn't remember. She didn't think she did. When Rocinante lifted her head from her lap Regina let her arms fall to her lap and she looked her in the eye and let her mind wander. She thought about many things, no one topic staying long enough for it to be significant. Her gaze followed Rocinante's when the mare turned her head and perked her ears.

Her husband sat slumped against the wall of the stall with his legs outstretched and his hands in his lap as he slept. Her mouth pulled in to a thin line, a frown as she looked him over. He looked tired. And sad. With a kiss on Rocinante's muzzle and a soft scratch of thanks behind her ear Regina crawled over to James. Silently she slipped herself under his arm and nuzzled herself right up against him as he started to wake up.

He didn't say a word he just wrapped his arms tightly around her and closed his eyes as he turned his head in to hers. He didn't want to say something wrong and have her retreat within herself again. She was there this time and not an empty shell and he didn't want that to change.

They stayed in silence for awhile, James on the verge of tears and Regina trying to build up the courage to look him in the eye. Perhaps she would start with words, "I love you."

James' brow knitted together and his eyes squeezed tighter as his lips pressed together to keep himself from crying but when the words came out they were as emotional as ever, "I love you too."

"I'm sorry," she whispered and took tight fistfuls of his loose ivory shirt as she turned her head in to his chest.

James shook his head and did not loosen his arms, "you aren't reverting to darkness and are instead finding a better way to cope," he shook his head and spoke quietly in to her hair, "you don't need to be sorry for that," he kissed the top of her head and she turned her head so her face was buried into his chest.

She didn't say another word and it had him frowning but she was there and she was had come to him and he could feel her working her away at trying to figure out how to make it better for the both of them. "Snow misses you," he whispered and began playing with her hair, comforted when her finger started moving over his chest, "Ruth misses you. I miss you."

"I miss you too," she whispered and laid a soft kiss on his chest, "I'm just stuck," she frowned and shook her head slowly against him, "and I don't know how to get out."

"Let me help you," he was answered with a shake of her head and a trembling body as she began to cry quietly. He only held her tighter and moved his thumb repetitively over her hairline around her ear.

"I don't know what I need."

...

Ruth rolled her shoulders to release some of the tension in them as she continued wandering the castle for her son and Regina. The woman had not said a word to anyone but Henry and Claude so here she was cradling two swords in her arms and asking anyone she came across if they had seen either of the couple. No one had.

"Oh!" She whispered at the sight of her son crossing the hall ahead of her, "James!" She called as she hurried toward him, her arms starting to ache from carrying the swords for so long.

James stopped and turned back around at the sound of his mother's voice. As he looked down the hall he smiled and walked up to her, "I was looking for those," he reached forward and took the swords from her arms, his smile growing a little more when she took a deep breath and stretched her arms.

"I've been looking for you everywhere! I thought these may help you two," she nodded toward the blades and then shrugged, "I mean I suppose we could get our hands on some sheep but this is just easier."

"Thank you."

Ruth shook her head, "no need to thank me dear. Just performing my motherly duties."

"By giving us swords to swing at one another?" He teased and she laughed quietly.

"Like I said, I don't have any fluffy sheep."

...

He found her standing beside her apple tree looking up at its leaves and dark red apples. She had gotten dressed; her night gown replaced with a charcoal grey coat that nearly reached the ground, matching grey buttons holding it closed around her slim waist that should have been able to grow round. Beneath her grey coat she wore a simple red shirt with a low swooped neck and pants that were black to match her boots. It seemed she didn't want to trouble herself with heels that afternoon for the boots she wore had none. Half her hair was pulled up and away from her face while the rest of it was left to hang in dark silky curls that ended in the middle of her back.

Even in the sad atmosphere surrounding them both her beauty made his heart skip and he hoped that that skip would never fade. Silently he made his way to her and gently lifted her hand and closed it around the hilt of one of the swords. She stared down at it with no one expression and he gave her hand a small squeeze before letting go and backing up a few strides with his own sword in his hands, "come at me."

"James I-"

"Come at me."

"I am not in the mood-"

He swung his sword but brought it to a halt against her neck. She didn't even blink. He did however catch the way her eyes switched, going from empty and hurt to the beginnings of a raging fire. He withdrew his sword, scraping the edge of his blade against her jaw and off her chin as she lifted her head high once more.

She stared him down but he did not back off, "you are angry Regina. You are angry, you are miserable, you are scared, you are worried, you are hurt," his voice was stern and his posture was forward, almost aggressive and the muscles in her neck and jaw flexed with building emotion, none of it pleasant.

"Let it out Regina!" He boomed and she held her ground unblinking but tense and ready to snap so he urged her forward, "you can not keep it in anymore! Hit me! You are safe with me! Let it out! Attack me!" He yelled and she lunged at him with a vicious scream and he blocked her forceful blow with his blade, a loud crash of metal echoing through the courtyard that was followed by many many more that grew in strength and speed.

It was important that he didn't miss her quick blade with his own, he had to break her down and if he were to miss a block and she were to land a blow be it hovering or full force, she would shut down once again and he would have to start over. She was fast but he had learned from her and she had taught him much so while it was difficult, he did not let her blade hit him. Instead he pushed her, attacked her and watched the tears start to pool in her eyes as she bared her clenched teeth and swung harder and moved faster.

It was not just one thing. It was not just the loss of her child. It was everything. Every clash of their swords had a memory flashing behind her eyes. Hit. Running and playing with her father, pink ribbons in her dark hair as she ran and jumped on his back and he carried her small child self around as they both laughed without a care in the world. Hit. Presenting her mother a drawing of herself with her in the hopes of earning even the smallest of smiles from her but instead being pushed aside. Hit. Trying so hard to do exactly what her mother asked of her but getting hurt with magic anyway and then trying to keep the tears from her eyes because she knew they would only result in more pain at her mother's hand.

Hit. Running to her father and crying in to his knees as he tried his best to comfort her and shield her from her mother. Hit. Receiving Rocinante as a gift from her father so she would have somewhere to escape to when she was unable to run to him. Hit. Meeting Daniel. Hit. Kissing Daniel. Hit. Loving Daniel. Hit. Laughing with Daniel. Hit. Meeting Snow. Hit. Teaching Snow. Hit. Loving Snow. Hit. Losing Daniel. Hit. Trying to love Snow but feeling nothing but pain. Hit. Suffering in silence as loneliness ate away at her. Hit. Meeting Rumplestiltskin. Hit. Banishing her mother. Hit. Hating herself for missing the woman who caused her so much fear and pain.

Hit. Running to Rocinante to finally free herself from that miserable life but then stopped by Rumplestiltskin and agreed to learning magic. Hit. Marrying the king. Hit. The wedding night. Hit. Hit. Hit. Failing to bring back Daniel. Hit. Her father's sudden disappearance. Hit. Darkness eating away at her without her full notice. Hit. Hating Snow and hating herself for it. Hit. Meeting a kind shepherd in her ride to forget who she had become and try to remember who she truly was. Hit. Chasing sheep with the shepherd. Hit. Laughing with the shepherd. Hit. Riding with the shepherd and feeling like everything would be okay again. Hit. Meeting Ruth and seeing what a mother should be. Hit. Having the mother she always wanted, a mother that would smile just at the mention of her.

Hit. Falling in love with the shepherd but knowing that it would never work out in the end. Hit. Slowly learning how to love Snow again. Hit. Giving Snow a second chance at keeping a secret that she held close to her heart. Hit. Kissing her shepherd despite knowing the possible consequences. Hit. Learning her shepherd's name and telling him hers. Hit. A broken promise. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Arguing with Leopold. Hit. Damning Snow. Hit. A broken heart. Hit. Losing her shepherd. Hit. Leaving her new mother. Hit. Killing the king. Hit. Loneliness. Hit. Anger. Hit. Chasing out Snow. Hit. Hatred. Hit. Murder. Hit. Magic. Hit. Despair.

Hit. Finding her shepherd. Hit. Loving her shepherd again. Hit. A second chance. Hit. Getting her preferred mother back. Hit. Getting Snow back. Hit. Marrying her shepherd. Hit. Losing her child. Hit. Everything not just one thing. Love, hatred, suffering, happiness, loss, gain, comfort, pain, loneliness. Everything until there were tears streaming down her face and her arms were losing the strength necessary for swinging her sword. She didn't care though. She didn't care until her hand could no longer hold her sword and it fell to the cobblestone with a loud clatter.

Her hands and arms were shaking as she lifted them up and stared at the ground with tears falling from her eyes as she panted and cried through clenched teeth, physical exhaustion mingling with emotional. He dropped his sword as well and marched toward her and pulled her head up to his, tasting the tears that salted her sweet lips as he kissed her harder. Her shaking arms wrapped around his neck as she kissed him back and she didn't let go. "Come back to me," he whispered against her mouth as she cried and pushed her forehead against his.

"Okay," she whispered in return and nodded before she caught him in another kiss and felt his arms snake tighter around her. Throughout their sword fight she came to one conclusion. It was one she had come to before but it seemed she needed a refresher and that it was a much stronger need than she had previously believed. She needed James. He fixed her and he did so without anything in return except for her love. He had fixed her twice before when everyone including herself believed she could not be fixed and now he was doing it again, it only took him a little bit longer because he was not quite whole himself. It was her turn to step up and care for the man she hadn't even truly considered to be broken because he was never broken, "I love you."

...

It had been a week and a half since the fight between the king and queen and he could not express how much he wished he had had the opportunity to watch the queen handle a sword. Perhaps he would get lucky and have the chance to spar with her. That aside the reasons behind their sword fight were no less heart wrenching. There had certainly been improvement however. The king and queen were smiling more and whenever the pair were together they were always talking and how they never tired of it and never ran out of things to say to one another he did not know but he was envious of it and could only hope that he could have that with Snow.

This time he had luck on his side and found the queen alone. She stood on a balcony overlooking the forest as she soaked up the warm afternoon sun, "your majesty," he greeted politely and smiled when she turned to look at him.

"There is no need for titles Lancelot," she replied, a small smile gently curving her mouth.

He smiled in return and pushed his hands forward, his smile growing a little when she cocked her head and eyed the small mound of dirt in his hands with a small green sprout emerging, "I brought you a gift."

"What is it?"

"A tree," he answered simply with a smile and his gaze dropped to the small plant, "I tried to find an apple tree but they are surprisingly hard to come by. This is an oak. With proper care it will grow to be large and strong and with a little magic I'm sure it will be big enough in time for a child to play beneath," he offered kindly and she stepped forward with her eyes studying the small tree, "I thought you may like something small to care for...even if it is just a tree for the time being.

He smiled when she did and found a new respect for her when she cupped her hands and reached them forward without so much as a second thought aimed at the fact her hands would get dirty. Aside from Snow, every other royal he had met would turn their nose up at the very thought of getting dirty. It was refreshing to see a queen who took no notice. A queen who dressed as a commoner and chased sheep with a poor shepherd until she fell hopelessly in love with him.

The soil was cool to the touch as Lancelot slowly opened his hands in hers to carefully place the tree in her hands, "thank you, that is quite thoughtful," she spoke quietly through a small smile.

"You are very welcome your-" he stopped and breathed out a laugh when she lifted her eyes to meet his and raised an eyebrow, "Regina," he corrected himself and her dark brown eyes dropped back down to admire the small green sprout, "you are very welcome Regina."

...

With her little mound of dirt in her hands she walked seamlessly through the many corridors of her castle to where she knew she would find James. Sure enough she found him learning battle strategies or something of the sort with Claude, "James."

James lifted his head to the soft raspy tone of her voice, "yes sweetheart?"

"May I borrow you for a little while?"

"Of course," he nodded and glanced down curiously at the dirt in her hands before standing up and saying his goodbyes to Claude and following Regina out of the room. James fell in step beside her, wrapping his arm around her waist and holding her close to him, "what do you have there?"

"A tree. Lancelot gave it to me as a gift."

James smiled and rubbed her side with his hand, instantly understanding the meaning behind the gift, "we are going to go plant it then?"

She nodded and shrugged a little, "I know it won't replace anything but it's something to...I don't know..."

He kissed the side of her head and she rested her head on his shoulder as they walked and looked at the tree, "I understand. I think it's a wonderful idea."


	38. Chapter 38

**Alright so this chapter jumped ahead to two years later just so I could get things moving again :) Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

_**Two years later...**_

"Come along dear," she tossed him a different set of clothes as she walked past him while he had his nose buried in a book in the library.

He closed his eyes and shook his head a little as he chuckled through closed lips, never quite the patient one was she, "where are we going again?" He asked and opened his eyes to look at the fabric she tossed at him in her interruption of his reading. He picked up the shirt with one finger and a curious tilt of his head. It was not expensive by any means but was instead the fabric worn by the common people.

"We are going to town," she replied simply and snatched the open book from his hand over his shoulder and placed it on the table behind the chair he sat on before walking around in front of him.

He shrugged at the clothing and looked up at her to find her clothed in a simple dress of ivory and green fabric and a rusty brown bodice laced wonderfully tight around her torso much like the attire she used to wear when she came to see him on the farm. "Well this brings back wonderful memories," he smiled and pulled her closer by her hips to leave a kiss on her stomach that despite their best efforts had remained flat for the past two years.

He did not blame her, it was not her fault but even still her smile ran a little sad when he tried to ease her pain and guilt for not being able to produce a child. He didn't love her any less.

"Yes it does," she replied quietly and lifted a hand to hold the side of his face. A soft hum made it lovingly from her lips as she cocked her head when he leaned in to her touch, "I love you."

"I love you too," he smiled and turned his head to softly kiss the palm of her hand.

...

The pair ran through the town square hand in hand with the widest of smiles as they laughed without a care in the world. Booth to booth, shop to shop staying at one place only until they felt the eyes of the people begin to recognize them before they would disappear in to the crowd once again. It was like a game, both of them pushing the limit, daring the one another to stay longer before running off with a joyous laugh and towing the other behind them.

She had made more appearances outside of her castle as the queen since she had married James so unlike before when she had first met her shepherd the people actually had the face of the queen to match hers to. She rarely ever left the castle as the queen when Leopold was alive so when she ran away to town back then she did not worry about anyone recognizing her as such. "Oh," she laughed and pointed over to a bakery as she swallowed the bite of apple in her mouth, "how long do you think we could last in there? It smells absolutely divine."

James snatched up the apple from her hand and shrugged, "Harold's?" He took a bite and stared at the bakery thoughtfully with a quiet laugh as Regina leaned against his side and knocked his feet with hers as they sat with their legs dangling over the back of a wagon, "I know them, they're great people but I don't think we'd be able to get away if they put the pieces together," he grinned and she leaned in to him a little heavier with a happy laugh, "his wife likes to talk."

"Well if things get out of hand I can always make us disappear," she teased and rested her head on his shoulder and took back the apple, "but I want what ever they're making in there," she grinned up at him and took a bite.

"Then let's go get some," he laughed and rocked his head down to her face until she scrunched her nose in amusement. He jumped off the back of the wagon and tugged her down with his hands on her waist, holding her right against him as she laughed through her smile, a smile that only grew when he dropped his head and kissed her.

She laughed as he pulled away and intertwined her fingers with his, pulling him along behind her as she skipped up to the horse hitched to the wagon and gave it the rest of the apple. She laughed quietly at the feel of large soft lips against her hand and when she lifted her gaze she met the bright green eyes of a young girl hiding behind the thick wooden post the horse was tied to. Regina greeted her with a playful wink and the little girl smiled and shyly came out of hiding, "hello."

"Hello," she smiled nervously and the woman cocked her head and the man behind her smiled down at her, "are you the queen?"

Regina laughed under her breath and lowered herself down so she sat on her heels and balanced on her toes so she was just below the girl's eye level, "I am," she whispered with a playful grin and the girl bounced excitedly, "but the king and I are playing a game so you mustn't tell anyone who we are."

"Okay," she agreed joyously with a nod of her head, "can I play too?"

"Well a girl clever enough to see through our disguises must join us!" She exclaimed immediately and out of the corner of her eye saw James copy her position and sit next to her, the girl's eyes snapping to him.

"Our task is to search Harold's bakery for the source of that delicious smell," he started in a mischievous whisper and the little girl grinned excitedly, "we have to get in and out without anybody recognizing us as the king or queen."

"And of course get whichever pastry you would like," Regina added with a playful roll of her eyes that had the girl laughing quietly, "are you ready?"

"Mhm," she nodded and smiled.

Regina stood up and offered her hand to her and the little girl shrugged her shoulders up in excitement as she grinned at soft manicured fingers and shyly wrapped her small dirtied hand around three of them. "Let's go," she whispered with a grin and the girl that stood at waist height bounced joyously and ran alongside her and James as they crossed the square to the bakery.

"Smells delicious," he inhaled through his nose and smiled at the laughing child clinging to Regina's fingers. He let the two pass before him through the door and his smile grew into a quiet chuckle when the girl immediately tugged Regina to the side to show her a dessert that caught her attention.

"Hey! It's been a long time! I thought something may have happened to you and your mother!"

"No something unexpected came up and we just had to move," he laughed and the baker laughed with him as he came around from behind the counter to pull him in to a hug.

"You look well," he let him go and stepped back with an approving nod, "how have you been? Your mother still alive and kicking?"

"Oh yes, she is having the best time of her life right now I'm sure," he laughed and looked over his shoulder to Regina who was holding the girl's shoulders as small fingers pointed to a pie on the counter. It felt like a punch in the gut. He wanted that, he wanted her to have that, he wanted both of them to have that. A child, "you've been spending he most time with her darling," he smiled and she stood upright and began walking toward him with the little girl in tow, "am I correct in saying she's having the time of her life?"

"Ruth? Oh yes," she laughed and felt the small figure hug her around her leg as she laughed along, "although she does miss the sheep."

"Now who is this?" He looked her up and down and took her hands in his and spread her arms a little to her sides.

"I am his wife," she smiled proudly and the old baker chuckled in delight.

"No! James how did you manage to get such a beautiful woman on your arm?!"

"When you figure it out let me know," James laughed and smiled at Regina and the little girl.

"What is all the fuss about?" She grumbled as she made her way from the back, "James!"

"Hello Maudie," he laughed quietly as the old woman ran up to him excitedly and jumped at him as she wrapped her arms around him.

She couldn't have wiped the smile off her face if she had tried, she loved watching people's interactions with one another and reunions between old friends were beginning to become a favorite of hers. With the three lost in conversation she looked down to the little girl who watched her with bright eyes and the widest of smiles as she clung to her. A soft laugh escaped the both of them and Regina lifted a finger to her lips in a gesture to keep quiet on their true identity and her heart only ached longingly when the girl mirrored the gesture.

"And this is your wife?!" She exclaimed doubtfully with an arm motioned toward the brunette.

"Happily so," Regina switched her attention to the older woman with a smile.

"Well then! Free baked goods all around!"

"Oh, no, Harold we are quite capable of paying," Regina protested with a laugh and a shake of her head only to be denied.

"Doesn't matter!"

"Then I will be leaving a very generous tip," she compromised with a smile and a duck of her chin.

"You will do no such thing!"

"Oh yes I will," she laughed and put a hand up to silence anymore arguments and the old man laughed a hearty laugh and put his hands up in surrender before turning around to tend to the oven. At the tug on the skirt of her dress she looked down to find the young girl biting her bottom lip anxiously and in response Regina looked up to find Maudie studying her carefully. She simply smiled innocently at the older woman and then dropped her eyes to the ground when James moved to whisper something in her ear.

"Tick tock."

Regina simply laughed through her teeth in amusement and pushed the side of her head against his forehead as his quiet laugh met her ear. "I know," she laughed and turned her head to give him a quick kiss, "I know, I know," another quick kiss as they laughed before she turned and dropped down to the girl's eye level. "Go pick out whatever you like dear," she gave her a little push and the little girl skipped off happily to address the large man on the other side of the counter, pointing at various cakes and cookies.

James wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder as she watched the little girl, "patience darling," he whispered and watched Maudie help her husband and talk to the young child, "it'll happen, we'll get it," he comforted quietly and she leaned against him with a quiet hum and a sad nod that had him kissing her temple softly.

...

"What is your name sweetheart?" She asked as she ran her fingers through her hair, subtly using magic to smooth out the tangled blonde strands as she sat on her lap, both of their feet hanging off the back of the wagon they had met at.

"Madeline," she chirped through her mouthful of pastry and then laughed quietly as she swallowed, "oops. Mother keeps reminding me not to speak with my mouth full."

"Good woman," Regina chuckled and began working her hair in to a braid.

"I like to be called Maddy though."

"Well it's nice to finally meet you Maddy," Regina smiled and James chuckled where he sat on the ground in front of them, "how old are you dear?"

"I'm five, almost six. My birthday is in seventeen days!"

"Is that so? What do you want for your birthday?" James questioned

She hummed thoughtfully as she took another large bite and enjoyed the feel of the queen moving her fingers gently in her hair, "I don't really know...I'm having lots of fun right now though."

"Yeah?" Regina laughed and paused her fingers as the girl nodded.

"I never thought I'd get to meet you," she grinned down at the king and shrugged excitedly, "you are both very nice. I like that you like to play games!"

"The queen is always playing games," James rolled his eyes, exaggerating his slow and playfully scolding tone.

"Oh you started it with having me chase your sheep!" She laughed and tied a bow around the end of the blonde braid, "there you are dear. All finished."

"Thank you!" She grinned and giggled as she reached behind and felt her hair before twisting to look in to the queen's dark eyes, "can I play with your hair?"

"Of course," she answered happily and the girl laughed and scampered behind her, taking a seat in the straw piled in the wagon so she was a little higher up and could reach her hair.

"It's so soft," she smiled and buried her small hands in thick dark hair that held a soft curl, "and so pretty."

"Thank you," she chuckled, not expecting the wave of emotions that hit her as she felt little fingers clumsily twist and experiment with her hair as she listened to the young voice ramble aimlessly about how much she enjoyed her life so far. It felt like someone was crushing her heart in her chest. She had been okay before, she had been managing but now that she got a taste of what it was like to have a child glued happily to her side she was so far from okay.

James laughed with Maddy but it slowly faded when he caught his wife's gaze. Brown eyes were brimmed with tears that had yet to fall but when Maddy's small fingers combed through the hair above Regina's ears to pull it all to hang over her back Regina's eyes closed and a tear slid down her cheek. He moved himself closer to her and reached up to take her hands in his and squeezed them tight only to frown a little when he stopped squeezing so tight but her hands remained tense and firmly gripped around his. Maddy's chatter never stopped despite the two of them catching every other word if they were lucky.

"Hey Maddy," he smiled up at her as she ran her fingers through Regina's dark hair, "you want to know a special secret?"

"Oh yes please!"

"One of the queen's most favorite things is getting a big tight hug," he could only smile when after a moment of processing his words the little girl wrapped her arms tightly around Regina's waist. A small laugh made it out of Regina's mouth and she hugged the girl back with one arm and he stood up and wrapped his arms around her as well, frowning when her free hand took a tight hold of the fabric clothing his back.

"You're going to be okay," he whispered softly against her ear that was on the other side of Maddy so the girl wouldn't hear him, "we will have a child my sweet, tender, loving Regina."

She nodded against his shoulder and he kissed the side of her head, holding her tight for a moment longer before pulling away and moving his hands to hold her head. His thumbs wiped away the few fallen tears and he leaned down to give her a firm kiss before pulling away and letting her twist her body to hug the girl with both arms and rest her head on top of hers.

"You give great hugs," she whispered with a small smile and the girl laughed happily and hugged her even tighter.


End file.
